Jemma Simmons is a terrible liar (needanewplan) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-01-29 10:41:00 |
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A report about Jemma Simmons was the last thing Peggy expected to come across her desk. Jemma was basically the perfect employee and usually ended up keeping to herself and therefore didn’t run into any issues. She got along with her coworkers and was so essential to the Agency that she didn’t have issues with her. So, when Athos’ report came in she read over it multiple times before deciding she really needed to call Jemma in to discuss what happened. There had to be some sort of reasoning behind it that she hadn’t quite gleaned from the report.
So, for the moment she was silently pacing back and forth and waiting for Jemma to arrive after she had called her on the phone to request her to come up to the office. It had to be something with the dreams because she knew things were going sideways for her in them, so it must be bleeding over. She knew this conversation would most likely end with Jemma taking a bit of personal time, but she wanted to assess how long that time would be.
Jemma had been in the process of writing up her own incident report when she had gotten the call. Not that she was surprised. She knew that Athos was very meticulous so even if he had seemed concerned, there would be a report written. And Jemma was meticulous as well so of course she would write her own, which admittedly was rather clinical as was her way.
Biting her lower lip before nodding that she had gotten everything involved, the biochemist stood and went to the elevator, fiddling with the bone shiv on the way up. A bone shiv she didn’t even need because it was absurd to think she’d need it here. But she was stressed and it granted her a slight sense of safety which was all she could ask for.
Once at the office, she knocked to announce her presence before standing awkwardly, rubbing the cut over her eye. This really was not how she had expected the day to go. At all. But there wasn’t anything she could do about it now.
Once the knock on the door rang through the office Peggy ceased her pacing and let her feet carry her to the door. Upon opening them she found Jemma standing there rubbing that cut over her eye and she let out a little sigh. “Oh Jemma, what happened to you? Do you want me to grab Martha to make sure that cut is okay?” There was a bit of a maternal instinct inside of her when it came to Jemma despite the fact that they were around the same age. Something about dreaming in the past made her feel a lot older.
Once those questions were out of the way she stepped out of the way so that Jemma could enter the office. She would ring Martha if she needed to, but at least right now she could make Jemma feel comfortable. This wouldn’t be a very pleasant conversation, so at least they could get it over with as fast as they possibly could.
“I woke up like this, I’m fine, Director. I already saw Dr Jones as well.” Given Athos had needed attention and well, he had seemed to think she did as well. Which was accurate but there wasn’t much that had been able to be done at the time in regards to her trying to acclimate to the light and sounds as she came to. But the comment on waking up with it would be a cue that her dreams had started up again.
Stepping into the office, the biochemist held out her own report.
“I actually was going to submit this just as you called.” There was no doubt in Jemma’s mind as to why she was there, so she might as well get it over with and deal with the repercussions.
A small frown appeared on Peggy’s face when Jemma mentioned that she had woken up like that and she wasn’t sure that was a good thing. Dream wounds were not something you wanted to happen, but she knew to keep her mouth shut for now as she waited for Jemma to come inside. The report was taken and she gave a nod before gesturing towards the desk and the chairs, “Come and sit down.”
“I just wanted to get your version of things, so thank you for making a report,” she tilted her head down to read over the report. She didn’t take a lot of time, but skimmed over the jist of it before looking back up at her employee and friend, “Alright, so you attacked him. Thankfully you didn’t cause too much harm. I want to let you off with a slap on the wrist, but this isn’t something you quite do. I think you might need to take some time off, especially if it’s a dream related incident.”
There wasn’t much that could be done about the injury now. Jemma had tended to it and that was that. If there would be something more to it, she didn’t know, she hadn’t gotten that far in her dreams. Just the constant stress and worry and isolation. Even with Will there, it was still isolating and upsetting. She just… needed to keep the hope alive for both of them. Here though? It was a lot harder to do that.
“Of course, Director.” As if she wouldn’t have made a report. So it was sitting and waiting as Peggy skimmed the report. “Yes. I fear I thought that he was… an entity that came from the Monolith as it seems to be a transporter to another planet, and I was back there.” Pressing her lips together, she sighed. “Which is not an excuse and I fully understand that I am not currently fit to be working if I am unable to differentiate between the dreams I wake up from and where I am.”
It was stressful and frustrating, but it was what it was.
Peggy’s lips turned into a thin line as she listened to Jemma explain what happened with Athos and how the dreams were affecting her so severely in her waking life. That wasn’t something she wished on anyone, especially Jemma, but she knew that her dreams were difficult right now. Crazy alien monoliths and such were not something to be taken lightly and she was always surprised by what misfortunes seem to befall Jemma in her dreams. If Agent Coulson was around she would give him a strict talking to about it.
“Would you like to take some time off? I’d be willing to give you paid leave so you don’t need to use any vacation. I don’t want to risk something like this happening again and heaven forbid that the consequences be more severe. I think a little rest may help you out,” Peggy didn’t want to force Jemma out of the Agency to rest, but she wanted to make sure that Jemma knew that she fully support any effort it would take to get her healthy again.
Did she want to take time off? No. Jemma hated feeling as if she wasn’t contributing, hated to feel useless. But did she think she should take some time off? That one was more of a yes, if only because she didn’t trust herself right now, and no one else should as well. Because Peggy was right. They were lucky that nothing serious had happened with Athos, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t hurt someone else worse if she forgot herself again.
“I suppose it would be better than the alternative…”
Just because she could accept it and take responsibilities for her actions didn’t mean that Jemma was happy about having to take the time off. She wouldn’t even know how to start working through these issues. It wasn’t like she’d ever been given a chance to work through them in her dreams, any of it. And with her being in constant survival mode at the moment…. it was dangerous.
“Well, I’m certainly not going to fire you over something like this. I think it might take a bit more in order for me to let go one of my most valued assets. But, if you wish, I can make sure the team keeps you in the loop and sends you some work that can be completed at home? I know sometimes it’s not much fun to just sit at home and binge watch Netflix all day.”
That was the least Peggy could do for her. But, if that seemed like too much then she would happily let Jemma sit at home and binge watch Netflix all day. She just wanted to make sure that Jemma felt comfortable and knew that this wasn’t a punishment for what she had done. They were similar in the fact that they wanted to feel productive and a part of something, so it was always hard for Peggy to take time off.
“And I hope you know that I’m always here for you, even outside of work. I’m more than happy to lend an ear if you needed it.”
“I think that would be a fair compromise. I will of course keep you updated if I learn anything about the monolith from my dreams as well.” Beyond the fact that it could apparently transport her to an alien planet and something dangerous could come from it. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much she could report on now between her panicked mind and the fact that she didn’t have her notes or research with her. Should the dreams follow the usual course, she’d get them in time. For now it was… living it. Repeatedly and nightly until something happened.
It was hard to accept she needed the break. In the dreams she always would push herself as those she looked up to like Peggy and May seemed to get through everything and if she could just be like them and strong, maybe then she wouldn’t feel so powerless. It was a vicious circile.
“I know that, Director…” Well, they were at work still, so it would have felt strange to call her Peggy in that moment. And the fact she was stressed and just trying to keep herself grounded.
Peggy jotted down a note to herself to speak to Jemma’s team to make sure all of this was worked out and when Jemma commented again she shot her a sad smile. It was a tough part of the job to take care of things like this. It was a necessary evil and she was incredibly thankful that Jemma was so easy to work with and accepted what had happened and what needed to be done.
“Alright, I think we’re done here then. I will speak to your team and I will get your paid leave on the books. I really do hope that you’re able to use this time to your advantage and I hope you come back feeling much better. And you are more than welcome to reach out to me if something happens and you need my assistance,” she would come running if Jemma ever called.
That was the question, wasn’t it? Would the time off actually do any good or would it somehow make matters worse. But Jemma wasn’t blind, she knew that she couldn’t keep going at things as she had been. Which meant, she had to try and at least see if it would do any good.
“Of course. Thank you, Director.” Standing up, she gave a faint smile and left to pack up. This was… going to be complicated to explain to Cosima but she would figure it out. She always did.