Raven loves waffles more than life itself (ofevilsfire) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-01-26 10:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, edward elric, rachel roth (raven) |
Who: Ed and Raven
What: Facing fears and empathy issues
When: 26 January
Where: Out and about
Warnings: Blood
Status: Log | Complete
The first day Raven had woken up with the pressure on her chest, she hadn’t thought much of it because it wasn’t uncommon that sometimes she woke up and could know that something was happening because this was Orange County and it worked as a warning of sorts. Walking out the door though? Fog. Lots of fog but nothing too strange and enough for her to brush it off even as it seemed to crackle with… something that she couldn’t place. Chipping away slowly at her barriers.
The fog wasn’t too bad and while there was concern, it didn’t seem to phase her too much. Then the third day when she left the house things changed. First she thought she had fallen into the mirror that was really her mind, where she locked away her different emotions. But while the feeling of isolation was the same, the landscape was different and then there was a very real fear. That instead of falling into her mind, she had somehow become the portal again. That this time, her father had come to Earth and this was all his doing.
It was a strain but the teen had pushed past it. Did what she needed. The first time she had seen what she thought to be her father, Raven’s blood had run cold but she had stood her ground. Only it was when she received damage from each attack did Raven realise what it was. Not her father, but her. So she ran. And the strain and pressure piled on from all sides. The next time she had seen what was in essence her, Raven had thought about all the rules in literature and quest stories. To get rid of the pain, she had to face her fear. So she did. She had fought herself, took the damage but defeated it because it wasn’t her destiny and in that moment, she believed it.
But the pressure on her chest, the pressure and pain behind her eyes, the growing sense of overwhelming fear and guilt remained. She had defeated her fear but it hadn’t done what it was supposed to. Whenever she went outside, everything was still off. It seeped into her, the pain, the fear, the guilt. Raven had thought the worse she would ever deal with her empathy was when everyone was feeling intense anger. But fear and guilt? Those were stronger emotions than anger, more deep, more suffocating.
Raven had lost track of time, how long this had been going, days, that much was obvious. It had worn her down. Stumbling into a doorframe, Raven slid down and hid her face in her knees. She couldn’t breathe. Everything was blurred so she closed her eyes. She just needed to rest. She didn’t care that she was technically in someone’s way should they try to enter whatever building it was she’d found herself at. She just wanted to sleep.
Ed was uneasy without his phone working these days. He couldn’t really focus on anything at all. Studying and reading became impossible as fog tinted his bedroom window. He’d tried to look out a couple times, but it was so thick he couldn’t see much at all. It had to be some new unnatural orange county thing, but then he wasn’t so sure. It was like one thing he’d seen before, but he’d tried to forget what lie beyond the Gate when he lost his brother’s body. However, if he squinted off in the distance he could almost see shadowy figures lurking in the fog that reminded him of those grasping black arms. It caused him to pace his room.
He couldn’t stay there. That was ridiculous. Ed might be needed out there in the fog. Holing up in the house because of worries just wasn’t his style, but it was easier said than done. There was something wrong on the other side of his door. The hall that was usually filled with light had warped and left darkness underneath, seeping into the room through the crack in the door. Things that looked like hands grasping at the air and causing his heart to race. It couldn’t be, the things from the Gate couldn’t be there. It wasn’t possible! And yet Ed could feel them brush against his leg. “Get off!” The color left his face, how did he get out?
Alchemy? Did that affect the things beyond the gate? He had to try-he clapped his hands together to create a barrier between him and the things, but nothing happened. “...” No flash of blue light, nothing.
Ed’s blond brows furrowed with concern. The only way out was through the fog tinted window, Ed wasn’t above jumping just now. He kicked a boot through the glass and jumped down to the second story. His body wavered slightly, not from the fall but from a sudden rush of dizzyness that he wasn’t quite sure about where it had come.
He didn’t have much time to think of it when he rounded the corner to the front of the house and saw Raven on the steps, he ran for her and reached for her. “Raven? Raven you okay?”
So apparently she had ended up at Ed’s. Raven was too emotionally drained and in pain for her to put much thought into it, or why that was where she had ended up. Even if she had managed to fight whatever it was she was scared of, herself, she still found it hard to breathe and her heart was racing. Not to mention the pressure.
Still, she did at least open her eyes instead of trying to go to sleep, even if it was rather… red tinged as there was blood coming from her eyes. Blinking to try and clear it away, the teen forced herself up only to slump back down.
“I don’t feel good.”
That was an understatement, but Raven wasn’t known for being forthcoming on how she was doing.
He touched her forehead with his non automail hand, like he knew what he was doing. “Me either. Do you feel dizzy?” He tried to ask, nudging her a bit as he did to keep her awake, he really couldn’t tell if she had a fever or anything-he didn’t know what he was looking for. He removed his hand and sank down beside her, wrapping a protective arm around her to keep her upright (yep, that was it. protection.) “I feel it too but we can’t go in there right now, everything's all messed up” He frowned as he looked over his shoulder at the house. “I can’t find Al or Riza either.” He didn’t know what to do, the house wasn’t a safe spot and his alchemy was being weird.
“Can’t breathe… heart erratic.” She was aware of what was wrong, just not how to fix it. And those were the internal issues as the more visible one was the fact that she had started to bleed from her eyes. Settling against Ed, Raven took a breath as if to steady herself. At least he was familiar and was blocking out the strong emotions from all over the damn city.
Empathy was a pain at the best of times. Right now? Raven was beginning to think it was killing her. So clearly, whoever said that emotions couldn’t kill you was lying.She couldn’t know for certain but she was feeling everything a lot stronger than she normally did, even when everyone was angry. The emotions were overpowering and whatever this was? It was messing with her magic.
“I can’t portal.” Not like she was in any condition to do that anyway, but at least normally she could have portaled to the two if Ed needed to find them.
“What can I do? “ He felt useless, all he really had any idea of doing was to provide a rock for her to lean on. He knew he didn't help with empathy issues but he'd try. His own mind was racing but he'd try to silence the worry. His brother was capable and so was his aunt really. He had no choice but to hope they were okay.
“I can't use alchemy either. I tried upstairs, and there are things in the house.” Without alchemy Ed wasn’t sure what good he'd be. He was fair at fighting but it was his alchemy that defined him.
That was the problem at the end of the day. There really wasn’t all that much anyone could do when it came to dealing with empathy. There were techniques Raven usually had, her magic to keep up her barriers. But the fog and whatever was going on had stripped her of those. So now she was being bombarded with all the fear and guilt and regret and it was causing her body to break down.
“You’re helping.” Which didn’t make much sense. “Blocking it I mean.” It was the only way she knew how to describe it. Close proximity at least had a cancelling effect to a degree that she was more aware of Ed’s energy and emotions than everyone else.
“I think the fog is messing with magic.” It would explain a lot. “I remember books… quests.” Trying to explain took a lot of energy though. “Face your fear, and they go away.” Shrugging, Raven closed her eyes and pressed closer to Ed to try and escape the loud emotions from all over. “Didn’t help with this though.”
Heh, yeah right like he was going to face the things in that house without alchemy. He was afraid, it wasn’t a thing he felt often, actual fear. He'd never been able to not do alchemy. “Maybe there's something I can do. But it'll only hold off the things in the dark temporarily..” He chewed his lip as he dug into his pocket for a bit of chalk with his free hand. He always had chalk with him. It was an alchemist thing.
“It's not magic.” He grumbled, he had no problems with magic but this was science. It should always work damnit. Ed began to scribble a complicated looking seal in front of them. He hadn’t had to use that since he first discovered alchemy. But it should draw power from the earth of his was wonky. He reluctantly had to move from Raven to clap his hands together and touch the seal. At diary nothing happened, but then the ground shook and rose around them like a barricade and hopefully served to block even a bit more of the pain she was dealing with, but it made him feel worse physically. He slumped against the door for a moment, and his hand shook. His skin was pale on top of that and his own breathing became heavy. “...That shouldn't have been so hard.” he panted.
Normally she would smirk at the not magic comment, but she was too drained and weak at the moment to really do anything. Instead she just nodded tiredly. She hadn’t wanted to fight herself and she still had the damage she had inflicted as well. But that was what happened when you were afraid of yourself.
Instead, she just grimaced as he moved away but kept her head bowed. More blood. Azar help her just get through this. Both of them. Especially since it was clearly taking a toll on him. “Fine. Abilities. You shouldn’t have…” Wincing, Raven just took the shaking hand and tugged him back to where he was. It was better for the both of them. Or at least it was more reassuring to have someone physically there.
Alchemy shouldn't have affected him like this, it wasn’t like he was out of shape or anything. Physical fitness was a part of his training otherwise video games were likely to be his only reason for getting up. Yeah, sometimes he played those console games too. They were addicting.
“Oh jeeze..” He muttered at the blood and pulled off his red jacket. “close your eyes. “ He knew the jacket wasn’t the most comfortable material but it was something. It was all he had currently to stop the blood. As gently as he could he used his free hand to press the fabric of the sleeves against them. “Don’t move much.”
Raven really had no idea just what was going on. All she knew was that things were red, there was pressure and she was fairly certain her body was shutting down. She just didn't want to think about it. She was tired . Still, she didn't question Ed and just did as she was told.
Even if it was uncomfortable given the fabric. Not moving was definitely easy enough to follow. Even if she was cold. Really this could stop at any time. Raven wasn't sure her body could handle much more.
“Rest” He said tiredly himself, half wanting to do the same but damned if he was going to while Raven was practically drooping in his arms. “I’ll keep watch.” That barrier he’d made ought to hold for a while even if things had begun to poke at it with whatever they had to poke at. He kept his sleeve where it was in hopes to either stop the bleeding or at least slow it down. “Gonna wake you in ten minutes, guess it’s a good thing you can’t portal me right now.” He tried to grin but under the circumstances it was light. He pulled her a little more comfortably against him as he leaned back against the door.
There was no need to tell her twice. Raven was already struggling to stay conscious as it were. As such she just curled up into herself and against Ed in an attempt to block everything out. At least for now she felt safe. That was something at the very least.