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Literally Pirateninja (shadowcat) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-01-16 00:18:00

What about jersey squirrels?
Who: Kitty and Doreen
What: Random encounters and hanging out
Where: Mostly Doreen's place
When: recent
Rating: PG
status: complete



“Squirrel inspection,” Kitty announced, popping up behind Doreen and grinning. “We gotta inspect your squirrel for defects.”

Doreen blinked, then turned around. From on her shoulder, the sound of cussing in Squirrelese could be heard - Tippy hissing a quick squirrels don’t have defects - but Doreen was smiling. “They’re not defects, they’re augmentations, duh. How’re you? Gosh, it’s so weird to see you in person, you were always one of my favorite X-Folks.”

“It’s always weird seeing someone in person.” Did Doreen have a tail, Kitty hoped she had a tail. She held out her hand. “Wasn’t expecting to run into anyone today, but it’s a pleasant surprise!”

Accepting the hand to shake, Doreen smiled. “Same! But uh, really, I’m not that squirrely. Just the tail and the teeth and the claws.” Tippy seemed to have calmed down, and Doreen was nuzzling the fawn-colored squirrel just to be sure. “My tail’s tucked into my pants. Incognito.”

“It’s still cool.” Kitty stuffed her hands into her jeans. She didn’t often get to fangirl over anyone. “Never enough people from our world as it is. And I was just teasing, Tippy.”

“She forgives you.” Doreen smiled and popped out her knuckle spikes so Kitty could see. “Super handy for climbing buildings. Normally I can just leap up ‘em, but if they’re fifteen stories or more, gotta climb a bit.”

“Just climb a bit, only fifteen stories,” Kitty replied with a chuckle. “That’s all. But I guess I can float so I don’t have much room to speak.”

“Just a little,” Doreen teased. “Flying is totally cheating.”

“It’s not flying. I’m literally walking on air because I become less dense than the air molecules around us.” Kitty grinned on her. “I like to take my girlfriend dancing on air.”

“That’s cute! You can lift her up like that?” Doreen smiled brightly, trying to avoid giving a swoony sigh. She loved people in love.

“I can! I can lift a lot of things. I could probably phase a helicopter through a wall or something. Don’t think I could lift one like that though….” She wondered if she could try.

“It’s interesting how so much of your powers are sciency. I’m just squirrely.” Doreen wondered if Kitty had to just test various parts of her powers periodically to see what she could do.

“I’m sure there’s explanations for yours. You’re a mutant after all and most of our powers have some basis in science. It just depends on how much you care to learn.” She shrugged. A lot of stuff had been discovered by accident for her. Like how she’d fried TVs.

“Well, yeah, but squirrel based stuff times big squirrel is easier to figure out than how to float, I think.” Doreen puffed out her cheeks in thought. “Wanna get something to eat?”

“Did you always have a tail? Kurt did.” Kitty nodded and motioned for Doreen to follow her.

“I grew it when I started getting taller. So, I think I first noticed it when I was nine or ten? Kurt’s rad, I love having tail buddies.” Doreen grinned, wiggling her butt a little. “Ugh, I wanna go home and change so you can see. Wanna just get a pizza or something and hang out there? You can meet the rest of my squirrelfriends!”

“Kurt’s rad.” Kitty nodded in agreement. He was one of the people she missed more than she could ever say, and a flash of sadness went through her eyes. She shook it off. “Pizza and hangouts sounds good to me.”

Doreen saw the sad, and she reached out to take Kitty’s hand. Squeezing it gently, she giggled before leaping upward and onto the top of a nearby building. “Follow me!” Rooftop leaping was faster than driving anyway!

“Jeez.” Kitty scaled the building like a ninja, then Naruto’d her way from rooftop to rooftop. She hadn’t actually parkoured in longer than she wanted to admit, but it was exhilarating!

Doreen looked back, making sure Kitty was keeping up. It was impressive whenever anyone could just climb up a building, and Doreen whooped happily until they finally were outside her apartment. “Standard broke college student style,” she said as she opened the door. “But I’ve got a PS4? So that helps.”

“I was a broke college student once too,” Kitty said. “I fell into some wealth after I got stuck in the 70s for awhile and made the right kind of investments.” Cheating, but well worth it.

“Smart!” Doreen took off her jacket and helped Tippy onto the counter. “Teto’s already above your head, Hoon and Heji should be here soon.” Yup, those were names from Nausicaa, Doreen was a proud dork. She bounced into her bedroom, calling out over her shoulder. “Just order pizza from wherever, I trust you!”

“Chicago style it is,” Kitty declared. She placed the appropriate order, because there was no other pizza style, sorry. Then she held her hands out for the squirrels to sniff at her.

The squirrels immediately heard that she was ordering pizza and cuddled up to Kitty like she was the one with squirrel empathy. Doreen came back out in her jammies (with a hole in the PJ pants for her tail) and a Star Wars snuggie. “Gosh, the pizza begging already started? Yeeeeesh.”

“They like pizza? Is that safe for them?” Kitty hung up the phone after placing the order, absently scritching the head of the nearest squirrel.

“Oh, yeah, they’re omnivores. They can’t have too much cheese, it disagrees with their bellies, but the meats and fruits are good.” Doreen held out a hand as Tippy leapt from Kitty’s shoulder to her BFF’s.

“Maybe I should have ordered a little personal pizza, no cheese,” Kitty said. “Just for them to share.”

“Oh, I usually get a slice and scrape some cheese off. They’re mostly topping junkies.” Moving to the kitchen, she grabbed a box of hazelnuts, distributing the appetizers to the polite squirrels in waiting.

“Fair enough.” Kitty followed Doreen into the kitchen, watching as she fed the squirrels their treats. “You’re like a disney princess. With squirrels.”

“Nah, I doubt Disney princesses get as much sass as I do.” Doreen wrinkled her nose when Tippy weighed in. “I know you give me good advice too, but also sass.” Looking back at Kitty, Doreen shrugged. “See? Snow White didn’t have that. Also, I’m not that great of a singer.” Someday, Doreen would have to tell Peter that she stole the beat to his theme song for her own. He’d probably forgive her.

“I dimly recall Cinderella got sassed by her mice,” Kitty replied with a grin. She winked at Tippy. “But they weren’t as cute as Tippy here.”

“Gus Gus!” Doreen had loved the chubby mouse when she was a little kid. “And not much is as cute as Tippy. When I was a kid, I really wanted a dog. I was so stoked when my powers started manifesting. Squirrels are a million times better.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Kitty had a pet dragon, which was also a million times better than a dog or just about any pet. He probably ate squirrels...

“They’re more sassy, I bet. And they’re smart, and super loyal. I don’t know, I just ... bond to them easily.” Doreen laughed, wrapping her tail around her chest. “Which is probably a duh thing to say, anyway.”

“I like the sassy thing. They seem to be a lot smarter than people give them credit for.”

“Oh yeah, they’re all wise and worldweary. Especially city squirrels. In NYC, they all have a New York accent, they’re all screaming at each other. ‘Oi, gimmie a bite of your hot dog, you schmuck!’ Stuff like that.” Doreen giggled at her impression. “New England dialect of squireleese just sounds grumpy.”

“What about jersey squirrels?” Kitty asked, trying to imagine something like alvin and the chipmunks with a jersey accent.

“About what you’d expect,” Doreen laughed. “Yes, there’s Valley squirrels, and yes, they’re super into smoothies.”

“Of course they are.” The doorbell rang, and Kitty ran out to get the pizza. It smelled divine, and while it wasn’t genuine chicago deep dish, it was close enough. “dinners up!”

Four squirrels lined up where the plates were, ready to help their friend Doreen in solidarity. She pulled down three plates, one for Kitty, one for herself, and one for the squirrels.

It made Kitty laugh again, and she was easily entertained by squirrels quarreling over pizza. “You only have the four?”

“Yup! Tippy-Toe’s from my dreams, the other were from that time that the world almost ended. They knocked on my window, and I yoinked ‘em in.” Doreen carefully cut up the pizza and removed most of the cheese, giving each of the squirrels five small bites. They were all really well mannered for squirrels, but they did shit talk a bit. That was just how squirrels were.

“You should live in a treehouse.” Kitty took a bite of pizza, groaning at how good it was. “Like there’s that show on TLC I think. Where they build really epic custom houses. In trees.”

“That’d be awesome, but it would require money. I’m just a poor college student, alas.” Doreen finally served herself, sighing happily. “Ummf, cheese. Nuts are the only thing better.”

“Hmm,” Kitty said, in a casual manner. Like she was considering something. “Could you imagine being squirrel girl and having a nut allergy?”

“I don’t think that could happen,” Doreen laughed. “Squirrel DNA.”

“Now I’m imagining a squirrel with a nut allergy.” Kitty set her plate down. “What do they eat anyway if there aren’t nuts available?”

“Pretty much anything and everything, they’re omnivores,” Doreen smiled. “Whatever they can find. But I try to spoil ‘em here - hazelnuts, cashews, and Brazil nuts.”

“What do they like best?” Kitty leaned over to watch the squirrels eat. It was relaxing to watch them eat, in a way. With their cute little hands.

“They each have preferences. Tippy likes hazelnuts best, Teto and Jiji are fans of cashews, and Heen is a Brazil nut kinda guy. Squirrels are very particular.” Doreen reached out a tiny fist, and Tippy fistbumped in return.

It was ridiculously cute. Kitty settled into the couch. “Okay you promised me netflix, lets see what’s on the tube.”