Good thing I’m not alone. I like the company just fine.
Who: Shepard and Elizabeth C What: Jane takes Liz up to the Normandy for New Years Where: Moon Orbit, eventually other parts of the solar system When: dec 31/jan 1st, california time status: complete Rating: PG-13
Elizabeth was wearing a classy cocktail dress with a matching purse and heels. She waited impatiently, pacing a little in her high heels. She couldn’t wait to see the ship and Shepard. Things were strange with the older woman, but not bad. Elizabeth was nervous as well. She wasn’t afraid of Shepard doing anything without her permission, but she was afraid she’d cross lines with the older woman the way she’d done with Remy.
She checked her cellphone, but Shepard wasn’t late. She was just impatient.
Unfortunately for Shepard, blue was one of her favorite colors. Worse, she didn't do dresses very well, but she did manage to fill out a black dress nicely enough. It looked nice and was comfortable, but it still made her uncomfortable. Her dress uniform would have made her feel more comfortable. But she'd felt like Elizabeth deserved fancy. So she'd do fancy. Or at least try.
She narrowly avoided a fire hydrant as she pulled up in her H3. She climbed out, then walked around to get the door for her. "We won't have to drive far." She paused, looking at Elizabeth for the first time. "...wow. You look great."
Elizabeth laughed when Shepard nearly hit the hydrant. “Oh, I hope she can drive her ship.” She bounced over to the monstrous vehicle, eying it eagerly. “Ooooh, I bet that thing can go anywhere.” She climbed into the machine and buckled herself in, giving Shepard a similar once over. “You look good too! I love the neckline of your dress.”
Shepard knew how to fly the ship, but for both their safety she tended to rely on auto-pilot. Jane blinked, looking down at her own chest as her face colored. The problem with being a red head is flushing showed easily. She'd trained herself to control much of it but the training wasn't working right now. "Uh. Thanks. I picked it out for you?"
She closed the door. Picked it out for you? Really Shepard?
Running around the other side, Jane climbed back in, then peeled back onto the road with reckless abandon.
Elizabeth blushed as well, giggling at Shepard’s flustered reaction. Obviously the older woman didn’t get enough compliments. Elizabeth was going to make sure that changed, even if they just stayed friends. “I picked this dress out for you, too.” And for herself. Blue was her favorite color and the lace made it sweet and sexy. “I’m used to seeing you in sensible shoes.”
"I like blue. One of my favorite colors." She glanced at Elizabeth, checking her out again. She liked the mixture of sweet and sexy, and it was almost an innocent sort of sexy. "You look alluring." And she nearly hit a pole, swerving to avoid it and then taking a sharp left and onto a side street near a park.
Elizabeth gasped and held on tight to her seatbelt. “Are you sure you can drive this thing?” She was learning and she didn’t think she was this bad. “You’re not drunk, right?”
"I'm sober," Jane assured her. She pulled into a lot near the park and then shut the engine down. "Is my driving really that bad?" She tended to prefer straightforward routes, such as driving a tank up a mountain. But an SUV wasn't a tank and a city wasn't a mountain. Someone really should tell Shepard that.
"It's hidden over behind this building. The shuttle. It'll take an auto-pilot route up so we can enjoy the view." She got out of the car, then opened the door for Elizabeth. She held out her hand to help her out.
“It’s pretty bad,” Liz said, unclenching her hands from the seatbelt once they were stopped. “Things won’t move out of your way.”
Elizabeth’s legs were shakey when she slipped out of the car, but she calmed down pretty quickly. Curiosity was a more potent emotion than fear. “Is your ship too big to land?”
They should move out of the way, Shepard thought. It would be easier that way. She moved her hand to Elizabeth’s back to guide her towards the shuttle. “It can land, it’s just not really recommended if we can avoid it. She really is too big for that.” The Kodiak was a boxy little shuttle that hardly looked aerodynamic, but it was surprisingly maneuverable. Luckily, they wouldn’t need to test that.
She opened the hatch and guided Elizabeth in. “You’ll want to sit up front for the view. Only place with a window.”
Elizabeth let herself be guided into the front seat, her eyes glued to the window. “I’ve never been to space before. I can’t wait!” She beamed at Shepard, pleased to be going on this brand new adventure.
“I think you’ll like it.” Shepard showed her how to strap in, then keyed in the code. The shuttle took off, shooting towards the sky. Before long they could see the curvature of the earth, and then atmosphere gave way to space, a vast blackness filled with stars and the earth far below. The moon peeked over the horizon and something glinted near it. Jane pointed to the earth. “And that’s our home.”
Elizabeth was glued to the window when they took off. It was so fascinating. She gasped when she saw how far away and small Earth looked. “It’s gorgeous,” she breathed, straining a little against her restraints to get a better look. She wanted to engrave the image into her mind.
“It really is. No borders, no boundaries, just the earth.” She put her hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder and squeezed lightly. And right now, other than the ISS, we’re the only people up here.”
The shuttle gradually turned away from the Earth and towards the moon. That glinting light grew larger until it was obvious it was man made. The Normandy hovered in space, seeming to be suspended in a sunbeam.
“It’s so beautiful, but a little lonely to think about it like that,” Elizabeth said thoughtfully. It almost reminded her of her tower in Columbia. So high above the Earth and almost completely alone in the dark.
The almost was what saved it. She turned and smiled at Shepard, reaching out to touch the older woman’s arm. “Good thing I’m not alone. I like the company just fine.”
“It’s a little lonely, but if you think about it all the people below are still there. So you’re never alone because all you have to do it look out the window and know the world is there waiting.”
The Normandy loomed now, sleek and deadly looking, her name proud on the side. The shuttle came around and entered the hangar. Moments later it sealed, and the hatch to the shuttle slid open. Jane took Elizabeth’s hand. “Let me give you the semi-grand tour.” She wouldn’t show her the armory or the bottom section of the engine room but she could at least show her the Eezo core.
Elizabeth was too used to the world waiting for her. She didn’t want it to wait, she wanted to be in it, doing things. Still, there was no reason to worry. Shepard wasn’t about to keep her captive. The hangar drew Elizabeth’s attention again and she watched it swallow them with keen interest. Once they were landed Elizabeth took Shepard’s hand. smiling brightly. “I can’t wait to see it all!”
The cargo bay held the Kodiak shuttle, a work out/gym area that had been frequented by certain delicious and beefy crew members, and an area filled with strange looking alien artifacts. Jane went over that area with a quick explanation of ‘protheans, I’ll explain more later.’
The engine core was a giant thrumming sphere seeming to hover in place, with a soft blue glow around it. “You know how the more mass you have the more energy it requires to move, right? What this core does is reduce the mass of the ship. It makes ships incredibly maneuverable and capable of faster than light travel.”
She expected questions but led Elizabeth back to the elevator. She could answer while they moved. The next level held the mess, crew quarters, infirmary, and two observation lounges, one of which had a well stocked bar. There was also Liara’s office. One lounge overlooked the dark side of the moon and the other had a view of space.
Elizabeth was impressed with the whole ship and asked lots of questions. Every little thing fascinated her. Once they stopped in the lounge with a view from space Elizabeth sat down. “Whew! This ship is huge! I’ve got to catch my breath for a bit.” She glanced at her watch, noting that they had a couple hours left before the new year. “Are you going to make a resolution?”
Shepard kind of drank in Elizabeth's astonishiment. It was always refreshing to see someone's eyes when they saw the Normandy. She was proud of her ship, and everything it had been through. Even if some of it would blow some peoples' minds. She sat near Elizabeth and shrugged a shoulder. "Haven't given it much thought. I don't need to lose any weight. Maybe try not to be such a loner. That might be a good start. Funny thing is I'm not usually a loner. Just ended up being one this year." A break up, a friend marrying and settling down. That could do that to a person. Jane felt like she was being left behind and she knew that was at least 50% her fault. She looked out towards space. "Maybe I need to let go of who I dream I am."
Elizabeth thought about that, then put her hand on Shepard’s shoulder. “I like who you are just fine. If you want friends I’m certain you can make them. You’ve got me, after all.” She flashed Shepard a smile and squeezed her shoulder. “Making friends is a funny thing. Sometimes it’s really easy, and sometimes you have to work at it, to see things from someone else’s perspective. You’ve got so much experience it’s probably harder for you to put it all aside.”
Jane put her hand over Elizabeth's. "Thanks. I don't want to be a buzzkill though. It's hard to find the right kind of friends. The ones that put up with your bullshit." And she supposed she'd need to talk to Garrus eventually. She didn't resent him and she didn't want to butt in on his family time, but she did feel a little lost without him. In the dreams he'd been one of her rudders, one of the pillars she'd stood on. Without him, without her crew, she'd never have saved anyone and they'd all have gone extinct.
"You're right though. It's hard to put it all aside." She glanced at Elizabeth. Young and with bright eyes and good intentions and prayed that whatever she dreamed of didn't crush her spirit. Or the real world for that matter. "Promise me you won't let anything crush you. Not many people with your optimism anymore."
Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m still doing okay, despite it all. Sometimes it’s harder than others but I remember when I’m down that this is the person I want to be. It helps a lot. I think we choose, a little, how we shape ourselves. I want to be cheerful and nice, even when people are disappointing.” WHich was more often than she liked, but not as often as a cynic might believe. There was a lot of good in people.
Shepard looked at her a moment, then casually slipped an arm around her shoulder. "Sometimes the people we care about the most can be the most disappointing. But then we should remember that no one survives being put on a pedestal for long. We're all human. Mostly." A wry smile crossed her lips. She had enough synthetic parts in her to qualify as a cyborg. "But there's good and bad in everyone. The trick is finding a balance between what's an acceptable amount of the bad."
Elizabeth nodded. “I’m still learning where that line lies. None of the people I care about have let me down, yet. Booker acts like he will but I don’t honestly even know what to expect from him except that he treat me kindly.” She shrugged. “I like people who are honest about who they are, warts and all. I think that’s most important for building a true relationship.”
"He's from your dreams isn't he?" He seemed like a nice, if damaged man. "Dreams and reality don't always line up. Maybe he does something he thinks is terrible. Could be afraid of losing you now that he has you. I would be."
Shepard wasn't a good person either. At least she didn't think so. She'd done things. Terrible things. All for a good cause and she'd thought she'd had no choice, but that didn't make her like it, or like herself any more. When you sacrifice hundreds of thousands of people, even if it was to save hundreds of billions, it becomes hard to look at yourself in the mirror any more. "Not like I don't have my own warts."
Elizabeth nodded. “He says he is. I haven’t dreamed about him yet. Just a lot of boring nothing, so far.” Well, except for the tears. Those were incredible. She blushed a little when Shepard said she’d be afraid to lose her. “Thank you. You don’t have to worry about losing me, either.”
When Shepard mentioned her problems Elizabeth canted her head to show that she was listening. “You do, but that’s okay. Like I said, I like who you are.”
"Glad to hear that," She replied, squeezing her arm around Elizabeth lightly. There was a lot of strength hidden in her frame and even a light squeeze was probably stronger than most.
"You know, I promised you some spectacular fireworks. So we should probably get this bucket moving if we want to see them. Don't need to freak out people on Earth."
“You did and I can’t wait to see them!” Elizabeth chirped, bouncing to her feet. “Which way are we going?”
Shepard looked up at Elizabeth, openly admiring the way the dress sat on her and how the starlight in the window seemed to illuminate Elizabeth with a soft halo. Shit.
She got up as well. "Let me show you the cockpit."
“Are you going to use the mass engine thing?” Now Elizabeth was torn between watching the scenery move and observing as much as she could of the engines. Being around Shepard was nice, so in the end that won out. There would be other space ships, probably.
"Yes. And the FTL too. They're related, but separate engines. There's to Mass Relay for us to leave the system really quickly, but we can still get around easily enough. It just takes longer and uses actual fuel. We're going to go around to the other end of the sun. We'll do a Saturn flyby too. You'll like that."
Okay so Saturn’s rings were a Shepard Date basic, but when you can impress your date with one of the most beautiful views in the solar system, why not?
She settled into Joker's seat, and gestured at the one next to it. "You can sit there. The display on the left shows the energy readouts for the engines."
Part of being N7 ranked was having built up a great deal of knowledge and skills. Everyone just assumed N7 rank meant Shepard just kicked ass. They didn't know what the actual tests and training and special missions to earn that rank actually required she know. So running the Normandy by herself? Difficult, but not impossible. "All right, lets go real fast."
And the starfield in the view screen blurred. Minutes later it returned to normal and Saturn's rings glistened below them.
Elizabeth sat where she was told and looked with great interest at what Shepard was doing, the windows, and the readouts. Her head was almost always in motion and she made small gleeful noises at almost every change. The whole experience was amazing and she was so grateful to share it with Shepard.
The rings of Saturn were beautiful. Elizabeth gasped and stared at them, then took her phone out to take pictures. “It’s so beautiful, Shepard,” She said, her voice full of awe.
"Yeah, isn't it?" She grinned leaning back in the seat, half watching Elizabeth's face and half watching the view. "There's so much wonder out there. These rings. Waterfalls and geysers on the moons. Huge valleys on Mars." She looked past the planet, a little sadly. "God only knows what we'd find elsewhere. But we don't have what we need to really leave the system. Even at FTL it would take months or years to get to the next star system. In my dreams we have relays that instantaneously take us across the galaxy. A whole network of them."
Elizabeth looked back at Shepard, noting the hint of sadness in her voice. “That sounds incredible. I’m sorry the same system doesn’t exist here.” She moved to Shepard’s side again, snuggling up against her. “At least we can enjoy what we can see.”
Jane swallowed a little, then pulled Elizabeth into her lap. It was easier that way, totally. She ordered the autopilot to put Saturn between them and the Earth, then looped her arms around Elizabeth's waist. "The main gun on this thing looks spectacular when fired. We have missiles and rockets too. Pretty easy for me to replace, so...."
Elizabeth gasped and giggled when Shepard pulled her into her lap. It reminded her of her grandfather and how he’d sit her on his knee when she was little. She leaned back against Shepard, watching the planets and stars go by as they changed position. “Are those the fireworks you were talking about?”
Hopefully not too much like her grandfather. That could get creepy. Jane inhaled her shampoo. "Mmhm. Kind of. There should be a huge storm on this side of Saturn. Planet-sized lightning. Be a helluva show."
“That sounds amazing!” Elizabeth said, wiggling forward so she could see the windows better. “Oh, there it is!” Elizabeth pointed the storm out, staring at it in awe. “It’s gorgeous!”
Jane's grin widened. "Space is a beautiful, scary thing. There aren't enough days in a hundred lifetimes to really see it all." Lightning was nature's fireworks, and here it was on a grand scale. One bolt crossed the space where five earths would have fit.
Elizabeth gasped and scooted back when the lightning flashed, then laughed at her silliness. It couldn’t hurt her in the ship. “I had no idea. No wonder you love it so much.” She turned to face Shepard, suddenly aware of how close they were. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”
"You're welcome. I'm happy to share it with you." Jane's eyes crinkled as she smiled. She lifted a hand to brush some hair from Elizabeth's face. "Out here, it's easy to forget all the problems back on earth. No borders, no conflicts, just creation all around us."
“That must be a valuable thing to someone intimate with the conflicts and the manner in which they’re typically resolved,” Elizabeth said, her voice soft since they were so close.
"Kind of is. Even discounting the dreams, I spent so much of my life at war. When you're up here, you realize that none of that ever really mattered." She moved her hand up Liz's back, rubbing gently.
Elizabeth sighed softly, closing her eyes to enjoy the touch. She liked to be touched, but at the same time she knew that things were going to keep escalating. It was rough but she slowly stood up and took Shepard’s hand. She didn’t say anything, because she didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t hurt Shepard’s feelings or further lead her on. Instead she held Shepard’s hand, her conflict clear on her face.
Jane smiled, squeezing Elizabeth's hand. She hadn't meant too much by it, but Elizabeth was...tempting and she hadn't been lying about that loneliness. Regina had gutted her more than she cared to admit and it still stung a little, even after all these months. And Elizabeth was pretty, smart, and bright. Shepard wasn't a poet but Elizabeth could make her want to be one. Her throat felt tight, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep any boundaries."
She still wanted that kiss, but that was also up to Elizabeth. She decided to save the cabin tour for later. With the wall sized fish tank and the ceiling window it might be a little too seductive. The burnt out husk of a helmet on the desk was a good counter at least?
Elizabeth shook her head, sighing softly. “It’s just. . . I’m not ready. You’re a lovely lady, one anyone would be lucky to attract and I’m very flattered. I’m just afraid, I think. Afraid of what any of this means, of the reality of picking someone to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve only been free for a couple months and I think I need time to enjoy that.”
Shepard got to her feet, and pulled Elizabeth into a hug. "I get it. This kind of thing is pretty serious for you. And you're right, you should give yourself the time you need to enjoy life for yourself, not for other people." She was so innocent and Jane thought that maybe she deserved a lot more than a blood-soaked soldier who didn't know how to be anything else. But she also deserved to make that choice for herself, which left Shepard in a weird place emotionally.
Elizabeth hugged her back, sighing in relief. “Thank you. I’d still like that kiss we talked about, if that wouldn’t be weird or hurtful to you. You’re a great friend and I need all those I can get.”
"I've got your back, Liz. "A kiss would probably make things worse but Shepard was good at doing that to herself. She smiled, and nodded. "Midnight OC time is...pretty close now, and you'll need your kiss at midnight."
“That’s right!” Elizabeth chirped, smiling brightly. “Until then we can just enjoy the view.” She squeezed Shepard’s hand, relieved that the conversation had gone so well. “You picked a gorgeous place to do it. I’m glad I’ll be choosing to kiss this time, instead of forced like last time.” Maybe this time would be different. Maybe it would be what she was looking for. She decided to be open to whatever happened and hope that no feelings would be hurt in the process.”
Jane keyed in an alarm on the chrono, so they'd have an actual countdown. She'd already created the pattern of weapons fire to simulate fireworks and keyed that into popping at midnight, but the chrono would give them enough warning. Her head snapped back to Liz. "Wait, what do you mean forced?" She would stab a bitch.
“Um, we were both forced. There was this mistletoe that just appeared out of nowhere. He’s otherwise been a perfect gentleman.” Elizabeth said it quickly, to appease Shepard. “It wasn’t awful, but neither of us were comfortable with it. We’re just friends right now.” Which was a little disappointing, but the longer it went on the more Elizabeth was grateful for it.
"Oh." She'd heard some things about that, and Elizabeth's explanation made her relax immediately. "That's a relief. That you're both okay, too." And here she was ready to fight someone. At least she hadn't started glowing blue or anything. Jane ran a hand through her hair. A noticeable hum went through the ship and it shuddered minutely as the weapon systems started to warm up. She grinned. It was right on time. "Guns should be ready and online with time to spare."
She shut down some of the displays and moved their date to screens that weren't directly in front of them, to give them a better view out the front. Her hands moved in the air in front of each glowing display as she manipulated them. "Kind of funny how 'mistletoe made me kiss someone' is the kind of thing we just accept at this point."
Elizabeth let herself be led, giggling at Shepard’s observation. “That’s a little sad. I like it better than the gremlins. Did you get to enjoy the snow any?” The snow was her favorite thing that happened so far.
"I didn't get to see any Gremlins. I woulda shot one." She laughed. "The snow was pretty nice. Didn't get to do too much but watch it though." Like what would she even do in snow? "I like watching when it snows or rains. Something... really peaceful about it."
The chrono chimed at one minute to midnight.
Elizabeth nodded. “The outdoors always puts me at ease. There’s just something about the weather and the trees and-” She stopped laughing at herself. “I like it too.” The alarm drew her attention and she blinked, squeezing Shepard’s hand again. “One minute!”
"Used to go fishing, when I was little." She squeezed Elizabeth's hand, picking up on the woman's nervous excitement. "But it's been a long time since I've done that." The ship hummed to life, consoles blinking and data scrolling across the holographic displays. "Almost time!"
“Oh, fishing! That seems like it would be so relaxing.” Elizabeth was genuinely excited about fishing, but the countdown was getting closer to midnight and she couldn’t contain her excitement. When it was close she turned to Shepard, taking her other hand. She had to stand on her toes to make contact with the taller woman’s lips, but it was worthwhile.
If Elizabeth hadn't had hold of her hands, she would have cupped her face. Instead, she leaned down to give Elizabeth a better chance at kissing her. Elizabeth's lips were sweet like wine. As though in response, the whole ship shuddered. But it was the weapons starting to fire. A gigantic blue beam shot off into space, and around it missiles and rocket twisted through the vacuum, exploding in a preset sequence.
Elizabeth slowly pulled away, smiling softly at Shepard. “Happy 2016. I hope it goes well for you.”
“I hope it goes well for you too, Elizabeth.” Jane squeezed her hands. Elizabeth was a pretty decent kisser for being so new at it. “But I’d like to think it just got off to a good start.”