Annie Cresta is one with the waves (lifeisastorm) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-12-03 22:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, annie cresta, katniss everdeen |
Who: Annie and Katniss
What: Meeting up
Where: Baxters
When: After this
Rating: Low
Status: Complete when posted
Katniss was a little anxious about meeting up with Annie. She knew that she didn’t really have the restraint to always stop herself from saying something when she thought it. That’s why she didn’t have that many friends, she figured. Too blunt.
But as she sat in Baxter’s with a chai tea latte, she resolved to be considerate of Annie’s mental state and think about what she said. She knew that in the Dreams she wasn’t the most stable and from what she’d managed to ascertain from their Net conversation, she suffered from something similar here too. Hallucinations did not sound fun.
With everything going on, Annie was more than a little frazzled. She did her best to focus on specific things. Projects for the studio. Randomly meeting up with Finnick because she needed that calm. Anything that was real and focused and maybe she would get a better grasp on reality again. Not that living in Orange County was good for someone who had such a complex relationship with reality. The loudness of her neighbours just made the problem worse because of the sleep deprivation.
Agreeing to meet at Baxter’s, Annie fiddled with the charm bracelet from the dreams. As she normally did when going out somewhere, her arms were covered. This time lace arm warmers with bracelets over them. A safety blanket of sorts, and usually a way to avoid questions. Though given the way the conversation might go… well. It was what it was.
Arriving at Baxter’s, the brunette went and got a peppermint tea before joining Katniss. And she knew the look. The one that said eggshells. It was the look that made her leave the East Coast and move to Orange County because people were worried about how she reacted. It was a natural reaction and showed empathy but Annie just wanted to be treated normally by people.
“You don’t have to worry about what you say. I can handle it.” Might as well get that out of the way. She wasn’t exactly conventional, but she was always honest.
Katniss gaped at the girl for a moment as she settled opposite her. With a quick shake of her head, she let out a little laugh and smiled at her. “Sorry, habit,” she ran a hand over her hair and sighed. “So how are you?” she asked, wrapping her hands around her cup as she relaxed.
“It’s okay. I’m used to it.” Which was how she recognised the look and why she said something. It tended to be easier to just...get it out of the way. For the most part though, people in Orange County seemed to treat her normally. Even if this place was extremely bad for her mental well being. Taking a sip of her tea, the brunette contemplated the question for a moment.
“Better I guess?” It was hard to tell. There was a lot going on, more so than usual. Two deaths and resurrections or faking it in as many months had shaken her core on reality. Worrying about whenever Finnick would start dreaming. But she was doing better, well, at least when she was able to sleep. “What about you?”
She knew Katniss had a hard time with the dreams as well. Which was unsurprising. And she knew that she was really close to Gale, so this whole thing had to be hard for her as well, just in a different way.
Katniss nodded in response, knowing how Annie felt. Better was the probably the closest description she could come up with too. “I’m...better,” she gave a little laugh as she reflected it back. “I guess you could say I’m still in shock,” she sighed and looked down at her drink. “I can’t say that I was getting used to him being gone, but the reality of the situation was starting to settle in I guess? Now he’s back I’m...so relieved, like a weight has been lifted,” she tried to explain. That relief was apparent, given that that was probably more words than Katniss had ever said to someone in one go.
Annie nodded.
“I think that's the basic reaction for everyone. Shock. Relieved once that wears off.” It was just they all had such painful dreams and the fact there had been a funeral to add to it. There was no right or wrong way to handle it. It was just…. Complicated.
“How did you feel when he told you about why he’d done it?” Katniss asked, curious as to how the others took the news. They’d talked about how they felt when they first heard that he was alive, but what about once the dust settled and they believed it was real.
That was the question, wasn’t it? Trying to sort through any and all of her emotions was complicated enough. Now that everything had been turned on it’s head, now that even though she had done all of her techniques to know what was real and wasn’t only for it all to be a lie? It was that much more complicated to sort through things.
“Logically I understand his reasoning. But I don’t agree with the lengths they went to and the pain he caused everyone by letting us think he was dead and holding a funeral.” Johanna had lost her family the way they went through it. Peeta had lost friends in the army. Katniss was close to him. Annie had a complicated relationship with reality and death left her unbalanced.
Even thinking about it had her anxious and absently she fiddled with one of her bracelets. Everything was a mess and while she was better, that didn’t mean she was okay.
Katniss smiled grimly. Gale had certainly put them through the ringer and they’d all taken it badly, however she felt maybe there was hope from such devastation, in that it seemed to bring all those from the Games closer together. She was still angry with him, for many things about what had happened. He hadn’t trusted her, hadn’t believed that she would have his back no matter what. “Have you spoken to him since he told us? Face to face I mean,” she asked, eyes down cast again.
There was that at least. The fact that it brought everyone from Panem closer together. Annie still wasn’t sure what had gone on with that, but her basic understanding was just first impressions gone poorly because of all the emotions that Panem brought and that they just sort of stayed that way. Labour Day had been a start but apparently a fake death was the thing that finally got people to really talk.
Even if it was at the expense of their sanity or mental well being.
“We met at the beach so I could pinch him to verify he was real.” At least that hadn’t changed. Her hallucinations had never had physical sensations. It didn’t help the remaining current of uncertainty, but she knew he was real at least.
Katniss quirked a smile at that, she knew the feeling. “I thought for sure I was going to punch him, but I saw him and just hugged the life out of him. No pun intended,” she told Annie with a little laugh. “I’m still angry at him, that he didn’t trust me to be able to help him, but I’m just so glad that he’s back and he’s ok,” she sighed.
Annie smiled faintly at the comment about no pun intended. It was odd to imagine Katniss hugging anyone. She knew how things turned out in the dreams and had managed to keep in touch with everyone but it was still odd. Not that Annie was the most physically affectionate of people either. She was okay with some but mostly not. “I think it’s okay to be angry about that. I told him I’d flip a table if he pulled that again and didn’t get help from us.”
Shrugging, she took a sip of tea. “But that’s the important thing. That he’s back and okay and that the rest of us can start to move forward and figure it all out.” Some more than others. But that was the way it always was.
Katniss quirked a smile at that. “Yeah, move forward…” she repeated absently. She only hoped she could. Her feelings for Gale had no place in her life when he was involved with someone already. She had to try and get back on track.