Veronica Mars is a marshmallow (ronmars) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-11-22 15:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, svetlana sergievskaya, veronica mars |
Who: Svetlana and Veronica
What: Catch up lunch
When: Recently
Where: Random lunch place
Warnings: Discussion of live Russian Roulette
Status: Log | Complete
Veronica had made some changes in her life recently. It had been an adjustment but things were settling down now. It was time to catch up with friends and with no longer being a lawyer she definitely wanted to check in with Svetlana. Just because she wasn’t going to be working on cases involving human trafficking anymore didn’t mean she didn’t want to help out still. She would do what she could, make the time to volunteer or something. It was an important issue, plus she liked Svetlana and no matter what wanted to keep in touch with her.
Once again they were meeting for lunch. Nowhere too fancy, Veronica couldn’t afford that. Just a local cafe. Veronica sat down sipping her water while she waited for her companion to arrive.
Svetlana was fine with non-fancy lunches. They were never really her style. Even the galas she would attend for fundraising purposes, she always felt out of place. It was why she liked meeting with the friends she did have, few in number they may be. Despite differences in upbringing and career and personality, there wasn’t a feeling of being out of place. And with everything that had happened recently with Helena and Anatoly and then running into an old acquaintance, feeling even slightly normal was a good thing.
Arriving at the decided upon cafe, the Russian woman entered and quickly spotted Veronica.
“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long.” Well, it was Svetlana, she did tend to be blunt and to the point like that at times. Most of the time. But small talk wasn’t her thing, it never had been and especially not right now. Stress did that to a person.
Veronica didn’t mind bluntness. In fact she preferred it. She could be like that herself sometimes. When it counted. Other times she was full of wit and snark, dancing around the subject depending who she was with or what the situation was. But with Svetlana, to the point it was. Well, maybe. “Actually I’ve been wait for hours,” she quipped in a teasing manner a small smirk on her face. Sometimes she just couldn’t resist.
“Nah, I haven’t been waiting long. Just a few minutes,” she assured getting more serious as she motioned for Svetlana to take the seat across from her. She could tell her friend was a little bit stressed so perhaps her opening quip wasn’t the best idea. “What’s up?”
Luckily for both of them, Svetlana wasn’t so stressed and lost in her own mind that she missed the sarcasm even as Veronica then verified that she hadn’t been late at all. So she just smiled in vague amusement as she took a seat in the booth. She didn’t mind it and was often sarcastic herself when she was comfortable with a person.
“It has just been a stressful week or so.” Because she could understand the question was about how she was doing. Svetlana was good at masking her micro expressions and feelings, but as she had been asked that exact question a couple of times, she knew that she wasn’t doing as well at it. She blamed Anatoly confusing her for that one. “You?”
Veronica raised a brow. That could mean a lot of things. From stress at work, (let’s face it dealing with human trafficking on a daily basis was probably pretty damn stressful), to stress in her personal life. “What kind of stress, exactly?” because yeah Veronica was nosey. Especially when it came to her friends.
“Not much here. No longer doing the lawyer thing,” she shrugged taking a sip of her water. “But I still want to help,” she added in reference to Svetlana’s chosen career.
Svetlana’s life could probably be described as stressful. So if she actually acknowledged it as such, then it had simply gotten to a critical level of stress. But she didn’t know how much to say. Everything with Helena was tied to the other woman, it wasn’t her place to explain really. Then what was happening with her family and the ongoing struggle to get them out of prison when they shouldn’t be there in the first place when she was in Orange County and they were in Moscow. Or at least, she thought they were in Moscow.
“Apparently Anatoly feels that I need to be selfish and think about my own well being once and awhile instead of ignoring it for others.”
Which okay, didn’t explain anything beyond the fact that Svetlana’s tendency to be reckless had been enough to make someone actually comment on it. It was also a main source of confusion because of emotions and all of that. The Russian woman had explained that her husband from her dreams was in this world as well, but she couldn’t remember if she had ever given a name, so the comment would probably lead to more questions.
And then the news of Veronica’s career change.
“Oh? And what have you switched to?” She knew about her life as a PI in her dreams, so it was possible she decided to go that route. It was still interesting though. “And there are always way to help, you don’t need to worry about that.”
Well that was a name Veronica had never heard before. From Svetlana’s tone it sounded like this Anatoly person was someone important as well. “Who?” she asked just as the waiter came by.
Once their lunch orders were placed her attention was back on her friend. “You’re not going to do others any good if you don’t take care of yourself too,” she commented. Depending on the situation Veronica could actually be quite selfish, especially in relationships but that was a whole other issue. Right now it was clear that something big had happened with Svetlana and she wanted to know what was going on.
“Something more similar to my dreamself,” she replied in reference to her career change. If she was going to expect Svetlana to open up it was only fair she did the same.
“Right. He’s the husband from my dreams that I mentioned. He is a psychiatrist here who I work with…. I know he has feelings for me.” Because Svetlana was very aware of that fact and had even told him she knew. In the same sentence where she said that she had complicated issues with trust. He seemed to respect that. “Apparently knowing how something will turn out despite the danger doesn’t make it okay.”
Go figure, right? Even if she was still being vague. But lunches to be ordered and then the conversation turning back to what had happened. Mostly.
“I know that. I also knew that I wasn’t in actual danger.” Okay, so having a loaded gun pointed at her head had rattled Svetlana no matter what she had said, to have her friend be the one she had dared to shoot her to startle her from the chaos in her mind. But of course it was Anatoly’s comment that seemed to really have shaken her.
“Oh. Well, is that a good thing?” She knew some people tried to avoid their dream lives. But if Veronica wanted to go into the private investigator route like her dream self, perhaps it would be good for her. Everyone was different.
Dream husband sounded complicated. He had used her for leverage or something in her dreams if Veronica remembered correctly, which of course she did. “And how do you feel about him?” she knew things were complicated and she couldn’t blame Svetlana for having trust issues. Hell Veronica had her own trust issues thanks to the dreams and just life in general so she got it.
“What do you mean?” Now Veronica was just confused. “How did you know you weren’t in real danger or how the situation was going to turn out?” What even was the situation? It was very hard to tell what was going on when everything was so vague.
“I think so,” she agreed. She was liking it so far but it was all still pretty new. “Feels more me,” she wasn’t exactly a PI but she was doing the whole research thing. For her it was like the dreams were showing her who she was meant to be. Just with less of her friends dying in her real life which was a good thing.
Anatoly hadn’t been the one to use her as leverage, that had been Molokov. Anatoly had just...ignored that fact in the end. Let his pride consume him and think he could outwit the KGB officer. Regardless of that, the damage was done and it made it hard for Svetlana to know what to think or how to respond. She hadn’t exactly been the most open and trusting before the dreams, and while she felt comfortable with Anatoly, like she could trust him with her life…
“I trust him with the girls I take to him and those I care about. I trust him with my life. I just…” Honestly, Svetlana never really put it to words. She didn’t know how to. Whenever it came to emotions, she always felt a bit..stunted. Like she was missing something as she didn’t know how to put it into words. “He’s known that I have my issues with trust since we met.”
Sighing, the Russian woman took a sip of her tea as it had shown up before realising that she was going to need to go more into detail to make sense of what had happened.
“I was asked by a friend to act as their moral compass because of the dreams. Her conscience. So I did. She was getting too lost in her dreams and the emotions so I dared her to kill me because I knew it would shock her out of the haze of emotions and that she wouldn’t do it.”
Yeah. That was the most healthy way to run an intervention but it really had been the only way at the time. It was shock Helena out of her dream induced rage or fail and let her cross a line she wouldn’t be able to take back.
As Veronica explained that it felt more like her, Svetlana nodded. “Well then, I am happy to hear that you have found something that is a better fit for you.”
Again Veronica understood where Svetlana was coming from. She was similar in a way. She knew Logan would never let anything happen to her, would do anything to protect her even. But still she didn’t entirely trust him. Not with sharing everything about her life at least. “I get that,” Veronica agreed. “But even with the trust issues. Do you have feelings for him too?”
And then came the explanation of what had happened. “You dared someone to kill you?” Well okay then. And Veronica thought she got herself into some sticky situations in the dreams. But even her dreamself hadn’t done something like that. “Obviously it turned out okay, but what if it hadn’t? If you ask me dream husband - Anatoly, was right to tell you to be selfish. That wasn’t exactly your smartest decision.” Veronica could be blunt and this situation called for it even if it was after the fact.
Did she have feelings for him. That was the question. “Maybe? I’m not sure.” They were very complicated and it wasn’t like Svetlana was known for being in touch with her own emotions. She reacted to how she felt around a person. The problem with Anatoly was the knowing he had betrayed her in the dreams even though she could see he wasn’t that same person. So even if she felt comfortable around him and trusted him with her life… she didn’t know anymore.
And Veronica agreeing with Anatoly. Well, she supposed it made sense. It was hard to really explain the situation and she knew it was reckless. That things could have turned out quite differently.
“Perhaps not the smartest, but in the moment, it was that, try to physically fight her or let her cross a line.” It was the option with the best odds. That and Svetlana didn’t put much stock into her personal well being when others were involved. Even so, she knew that it wasn’t smart. But it had been necessary. “Things might have turned out different, but they didn’t.” And that was the end of it. At least to Svetlana. There was no use dwelling on the fact she could have been killed.
Veronica was pretty sure that Svetlana did in fact have feelings for him. Svetlana may not be sure, but if she didn’t have any feelings then she would know that for certain. So yes there was probably something there, the situation was just complicated. Most likely from the dreams and Veronica couldn’t really blame her for that. Dreams seemed to complicate everything. She didn’t comment on it though. Just gave her friend a knowing smile.
“I guess your options were pretty limited.” Veronica could at least admit that. “Still not a good choice,” but then she didn’t know the entire situation and pretty much every outcome sounded like a bad one from how Svetlana had described it. “I’m glad it turned out okay though. Is your friend okay?”
Complicated and confusing. That would be how Svetlana would describe everything with Anatoly. Though the knowing smile was met with a brow quirk. Honestly, it was like Dmitri. He was always telling her that she needed to let herself acknowledge her feelings and would just give her that look when she told him to stop being weird.
“Extremely limited.” And really, there was no good option. Svetlana had simply done a quick calculation of the odds and it was daring Helena to shoot her. “As am I. And… she will be. She finally accepted that she needs help and has started seeing Anatoly for that.” Again with the trusting him with one of her friends. “Which is an important step.”
Accepting you need help was the first step to recovery. Her mother had said that to her how many times? Of course it never seemed to work out for Lianne but that wasn’t the point. “Absolutely,” Veronica agreed deciding not to get into the mess that was her mother. Besides she was sure her mom was the exception anyway. “Just you know, try not to put yourself in danger like that. I like having you around.”
“I’m glad you like having me around.” It was a strange sentiment, or strange thing to say. But sometimes Svetlana got stunted in her speaking since English wasn’t a first or even second language for her. “I try not to put myself into danger.” Often. Of course her definition of danger was probably vastly different from others given she rarely took consideration of herself when she was following a case or whatever else might come up.
“Sounds like a plan,” Veronica said because there was no point on lecturing Svetlana on it anymore. She had probably already heard about it enough as it was and not just from Veronica. Besides the waiter came over with their food anyway. It was time to relax and enjoy their meal, and of course their company.