ɢᴀʟᴇ (traps) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-10-28 13:24:00 |
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After what felt like a hurricane, Category 5, of pure unadulterated crap, Gale had to admit that a walk on the beach was doing him some good. It was why he and Leliana chose this particular environ for their new house - they wanted something on the beach, nearby at least, a place where the calming sound of the ocean waves slapping the shore would be their soundtrack and where the salty breeze promised relief and rejuvenation if you breathed it in. Much different than breathing in ash and coal dust - he much preferred this, especially since Bella Nutella and the nugs had room to run around. Tella, the gangly chocolate lab, was with them now. She liked to run along the waterline and sniff around, sticking her nose into whatever she could, or dig in the sand. He’d have to bathe her later, since she’d be all salty and sticky but that was no problem. It was just nice to get out and be one with nature and all that. Especially since he’d been squirreled away in a safehouse for far too long. Apologizing and explaining to his friends was important, but especially to Peeta - who was one of his closest and someone he’d been through a lot with already. They weren’t as tight in the dreams but he didn’t want to happen there with Katniss happen here with Peeta, or any of his friends. They meant too much to Gale. He’d finally come to understand that he wasn’t going to be that person, and he wasn’t going to be alone here either. “Seems like you have a lot to catch me up on,” he remarked, with a glance Peeta’s way as they sauntered down along the beach. Tella ran ahead, baking excitedly, but she was fine. Occasionally, Gale would toss her a stick and she’d fetch it - that was entertainment for her. This place was the absolute worst right now. It had been horrible to deal with the idea of Gale’s death, the demise of his relationship, going to a funeral, and then finding out that it had all been a big sham. A part of him wanted to be angry at Leliana and Gale for as long as humanly possible and it had worked for about five minutes when he took a swing at Gale and ended up in a total show of bromance complete with tears and hugging. It was incredibly hard to stay angry at his best friend in this fucked up world. Their little dream group couldn’t handle anything horrible happening to any of them because they had been through so much pain and suffering already, so it really had only brought them closer together. It would take a bit of healing to fully get over all that stuff, but they were certainly getting there. It was a pleasant day outside and Peeta was thankful for the suggestion to hang out on the beach. The fresh air and the smell of the salt from the sea was enough to clear his head. Things had gotten a little better since the breakup and he didn’t feel as raw any longer and he was trying hard not to spend a lot of time drinking and numbing himself to the world. Maybe he would have to get a dog, he mused to himself as he lifted up a hand to run it through his slightly shaggy blonde hair, and chuckled at Gale’s comment. “That is most certainly an understatement. I mean, you dying was the main thing that had happened, but there’s certainly some other stuff. I guess I should explain everything that happened with Alyssa and I,” there was a hint of sadness in his voice when he spoke about it, but he was healing. It would take time to get over something like that, but he was happy that he finally had Gale around to talk it over with. Annie and Johanna were great soundboards, but they also didn’t know Alyssa very well and were more inclined to take his side (thankfully). Gale would offer a different perspective and perhaps give some better advice. Of all the fucking awful timing, a breakup (and a breaking off of an engagement, no less) was the icing on the cake of shit. Gale felt terrible, to say the least, - he felt terrible for Peeta and terrible about having gone through everything and putting his friend through it all too, no matter how necessary it had been. Not to mention how he was keeping secrets from his fellow soldier (not anymore though, it had all gotten laid out on the table after Peeta took that swing at Gale - he didn’t blame the guy, he just ducked the punch and hugged him and, yeah, manly tears) but also that the world as Peeta knew it had pretty much shattered around his feet. He wasn’t really privy to the whole story yet, so it was probably true that explaining was in order. Gale wanted to know how all this had gone down. “You both seemed so happy, I just don’t get it. What the hell happened?” he asked, somewhat bewildered. If asked, Peeta would say that Gale should feel terrible. It was a horrible thing to put people through and Peeta still couldn’t believe that it actually happened. But at least he had a shitstorm of things going on that helped keep his mind from completely focusing on Gale. But Gale was doing his best to make amends for what had happened, but it also meant that Peeta needed to detail everything that happened when he was gone. He didn’t want Gale to get second hand information and he had a long enough period that it wasn’t as raw as it could have been. “I have no idea,” Peeta admitted with a sigh as he reached up to run a hand through his hair, “I thought the same thing. Things were going great and I was so happy. Suddenly she started talking about children again and that she really shouldn’t change her thoughts on that for someone. Which was really strange because it’s not like I wanted a child right this minute. I am more than happy to wait. Then it snowballed into her confessing that she still loved this guy, Logan, and that was it. I asked Annie and Johanna to help me move out the next day and now I’m back at my old apartment. I’ve been drinking far too much in order to numb it, but I’m trying to back off of that now. She’s not worth it.” Wow. That was...a lot. Gale rubbed the back of his neck, trying to process everything. “No one said you had to have children right away,” he lifted an eyebrow, because saying that definitively now? It did seem a little strange. He could understand how Alyssa felt, but she was also young - both her and Peeta were, and they had the time to change their minds. They were only just embarking on the whole ‘building a life together’ thing. Only it seemed like that had come crumbling down too, inflating inward like a beach ball with all the air let out. Ouch. “Sounds like she never really got over whoever Logan is and the dam just burst,” he frowned. “Better that it all came out now than wait, and actually get married, and...” Then it would have been an even bigger shitstorm. Alyssa must have been keeping her feelings about Logan inside for awhile - the whole time she was dating Peeta? Even when she said yes to his marriage proposal? He didn’t like it, no. But he would try to be objective and fair about it, and give unbiased advice - not like he was going to egg Alyssa’s house or anything, she was his friend too. “I don’t know, I think the heart works in weird ways.” That was definitely true - he never thought he’d risk it all to be with someone, to be with Leliana. Gale loved her, he wanted to protect her - especially from turning into what her dream self had been. Maybe he went about it the wrong way, but his intentions were good. You did foolish things when you were in love. You made mistakes and learned from them, just like anything in life. “We think we want one thing, and it just...isn’t right. So I guess she wasn’t the right one for you, but someone is. You’ll want to keep your liver healthy enough for years to come and not need a transplant before you meet her,” he smirked, teasing. “Exactly. It wasn’t happening now. I think the Logan dam broke and she needed a second excuse to break things off with me. I honestly don’t really care anymore about it. I feel like just cutting that completely out of my life is probably the best way to go. Yeah, I loved her, but it obviously wasn’t meant to be, which is fine because I’m young,” at least Peeta was objective and knew that he had the world in front of him. Losing one love wasn’t enough to make him curse the world and accept defeat. It only spurred him on to find the next that would be better than the last and hell, anything would be better than the last. “How do you know that my possible transplant wouldn’t be the one? Stranger things have happened,” Peeta pointed out with a crooked grin. There was a hint of laughter in his brown eyes and it was nice to be able to joke, “Although, a few nights later I did meet a cute blonde at the bar. I haven’t texted her since then, but I do know where she works, so I could always stumble in there. Oh, and you missed out on my stint as a jailbird with Johanna and Annie.” There had been a lot of things going on while he was gone and if you got down to it he was pretty much the reason why those things had happened. The funeral had been the straw that broke the camel’s back when it came to their little group. He didn’t regret getting into a fight and spending the night in the station, but he was thankful that the charges were dropped. Adults made their own decisions, their own choices - there was no way Gale could have predicted exactly what would have gone on in his absence, though he guessed that grieving in a healthy way wasn’t a strong suit of people who dreamed of Panem. Not that he, personally, would have been much better - sometimes you fell backward and had to get up again, had to know there were people in your life who would stick by you no matter what. Even if you were forced to fake your own death because, in your effort to protect your girlfriend from the corruption of her own occupation you got in too deep. Even if you got arrested because of a drunken bar brawl. “Our lives are crazy,” he chuckled, but it was thoughtful, as he took the slobbery stick from Tella’s mouth when she brought it back. Then Gale tossed it again, so she’d go bounding off. “They’ll get better though, they always do. They did in Panem too.” Maybe not for him - it ended with a cold, harsh sense of finality. One that left him alone with important connections severed; he wouldn’t let that happen here. “You’ll find that cute blonde and maybe things will work out there. Text her or something, yeah?” It was worth a shot, at any rate. “I was already fucked up when I moved here and this has just made it a million times worse,” Peeta commented with a rueful expression on his face. PTSD from his time in the Army was bad enough, but adding in PTSD from almost dying multiple times and being tortured in his dreams made it much worse. It was a bit of a surprise that he hadn’t turned to drinking a lot sooner. It was a good thing that he owned his own business and was able to keep busy that way and let his mind stay away from things like that. There was an icy coldness to those memories and he did his best to stay away. “I doubt it, most likely a one night stand and that’s probably all I need right now. I’m not rushing into anything anytime soon,” it wasn’t that he was giving up on love, but he was certainly a little more cautious at the moment. He didn’t want a relationship right this moment and he had quite a bit to sort out on his own and didn’t need to drag anyone else into that mess, “So, what are you going to do now that you’re back?” “Fair enough,” Gale lightly tapped Peeta on the shoulder with his fist, but then squeezed in a show of brotherhood and camaraderie. “Whatever you do, I’ll support you.” He could have all the one-night stands he wanted, reveling in his youth and having fun, or take his time - whatever he felt was best. They all had to heal on their own time, in their own way. And Gale wasn’t going anywhere either. He was back for good, and both he and Leliana were actually safe now. It was...almost a little surreal. Sometimes he wasn’t even sure what to do with all of that possibility. “I...well, I’m gonna have to find a new job,” he chuckled ruefully. “Something more civilian.” Of course he still had his training, his responsibilities in the Army, but the idea of Reserves was that he’d have a more stable form of employment at the moment while still vesting in a military retirement. “I’ll look around some. Leli will too. We’ll make it, somehow.” They always did. They survived - it was in their nature. “I am supposed to join Sharon and Viv on a date to Disneyland, so maybe I’ll try to get the numbers of some of the princesses there. I mean, no one can resist the cute ‘uncle’ right? At least I’m not an old perv,” Peeta explained with a relaxed look in his face, which made him realize he hadn’t been this carefree in a while. It was so good to have Gale back in his life because he truly was his best friend. Life was hard when you didn’t have that confidante around any longer and you didn’t want to burden your other friends with your issues. Not that he didn’t appreciate all the help Johanna and Annie had given him. “I’ve always got openings at my bakery if you want to go that route. I don’t expect you to stick around forever or anything, but I get your Reserve schedule and it’s probably more relaxed than anything else you could find,” that was the only downside to being a military member was finding an employer that could handle all the random days off for training. He was more than happy to offer something up to Gale because he knew his friend would be a good employee and if he couldn’t find anything else then at least Peeta’s bakery was there. “Disneyland, huh? Sounds like good times. Make sure to get some Mickey ears,” Gale teased, lifting an eyebrow - he could see Peeta living it up at the Happiest Place on Earth. Sometimes it was nice to just let go of everything and do nothing but have fun for a day. Though he was right about the quirks of the Reserve schedule - Gale had training once a month, still, for a few days. But they were mostly close by so he didn’t have to hop on a plane to a godforsaken desert or anything. Small things to be grateful for. So the fact that Peeta was offering him work, that was pretty awesome of him. “If you think I wouldn’t burn the place down, then hey, I’d love to,” Gale grinned. “I can do heavy lifting or...you know, organize things for you. Maybe leave me off the intricate cake decorating for now.” “I may have to get some. It’s the 60th anniversary so I’m sure they’ve got all sorts of blinged out Mickey Ears,” he hadn’t stopped by the theme park since those celebrations took place, but he had seen photos of the castle. It would be a lot of fun to just go do something that didn’t require any thought. Sharon was always easy to talk to, so the day should be lighthearted and carefree. It also helped that Viv would be coming along, which would further distract him as he attempted to help take care of a child. Why not get some practice in before the real thing eventually happened to him? Although, hopefully not for a long time. When he mentioned burning the place down all Peeta could do was shoot him a look with his brown eyes that spoke volumes. “I know you’re more adept than you give yourself credit for. You will not burn my place down. I will eventually work you up to the cake decorating. You’ll be the low man on the totem pole, but it’ll be good. Especially when it’s holiday time and we really kick it up. Besides, I trust you.” Naaaaaah, Gale wouldn’t burn the place down. He’d managed chocolate chip cookies, that one time, so he was pretty sure even if Peeta had him doing simple baking things then he could handle it. The idea that his friend trusted him, though, that meant more to him than he could possibly say. “Thanks,” he replied sincerely, and those Seam grey eyes were filled with nothing but gratitude - for so many things. There was so much, in this life, eons away from Panem that he had to be grateful for. “I’ll start whenever, boss. Give me an apron and put me to work. I have no problem being the low man on the totem pole.” Elsa had also offered him some hours being her personal assistant at the TV station, and he’d probably take her up on it - work two jobs, right? Gale was used to working hard, anyway. And it’d be nice to be doing something he enjoyed for once, something where he’d get to be around the people he cared about. No more secrets and lies, no more cloaks and daggers. He was done. And glad. |