Who: Katniss and Portia When: Late September Where: Portia’s place What: A girlie talk Rating/Warnings: Status: Complete
It had been lovely to see everybody for their picnic on the lake but Portia had been able to tell something was on Katniss’ mind so as soon as she could she’d invited the younger woman over for a little afternoon lunch so they could have a girlie talk.
She’d made them little sandwiches and gotten a few small cakes from Baxter’s Bakery to enjoy with a nice drink. Everything was set out on her breakfast bar in the comfortable kitchen when the doorbell rang. Moving to answer it she smiled, “Katniss, hello I’m so glad you could come”
Katniss tugged on the strap of her bag as it lay across her chest while she waited for Portia to answer the door. It had been awhile since she and Portia had caught up so it wasn’t really a surprise that the older woman had called her over. She liked Portia, she was steadfast when it came to the Dreams and not much seemed to affect her, unlike Katniss. When the door opened, Katniss smiled up at her friend. “Hey Portia, you ok?” she asked, stepping into the house.
After her dream death Portia had learnt to be strong in the face of the Dreams and if she could help her young friend to eventually do the same then she would. “I’m good thank you. I’m glad you could come” she gave Katniss a brief hug knowing sometimes it made her uncomfortable, “How are you?”
Katniss accepted the hug, awkwardly patting her friend on the back with a hand before Portia let her go. “I’m uh...I’m ok I suppose,” she shrugged, offering a weak smile in response. “It was nice to get out and about and see the others, wasn’t it,” she commented.
“It was, getting to know each other here is a good thing. After all we aren’t the dream versions of ourselves so we need to do that more often I think. Get rid of any misconceptions about each other” Portia said, leading Katniss into the open welcoming kitchen. “I’m glad you came, I was worried you wouldn’t. I know the dreams hit you hard”
“Yeah,” Katniss sighed. “I almost didn’t to be honest. I was worried they would hate me, blame me,” she admitted, taking a seat on one of the bar stools in the kitchen. “I know the Dreams aren’t real, but they feel it to me. Sometimes I wake up and I can’t tell…” she trailed off. “It’s only when I...look at my phone, or go to make a cup of tea that I can remind myself,” she ran her hands through her hair in frustration. “Sorry, I’m just really frustrated,” she huffed, crossing her arms on the counter in front of her.
Portia stopped making the tea she was preparing to come and wrap an arm around Katniss’ shoulders, “You have nothing to apologise for” she told her, “Everybody handles the dreams differently, nobody is indifferent to them. They feel like no other kind of dreams, even I’ve woken thinking I was there before” It was unsettling and there was so much more on Katniss’ shoulders in the dreams than there were on Portia’s.
Katniss smiled weakly up at Portia, the other woman had such a serene way of looking at things. Katniss sighed, her eyes dropping to the tea that Portia had been making. "I don't know if I told you, but I signed up for a week long intensive business admin course," she shrugged. "Figured I should keep trying to make something of my life...This life," she told her, nodding towards the tea. "Do you want a hand?" She asked.
“I think that’s wonderful Katniss, if you need any help just let me know. Though I imagine Haymitch would be more helpful with that sort of thing” she smiled, Portia would never think of herself as serene but she did very much exude that kind of feeling. “Oh no, I’m fine but thank you for offering” She had nearly finished it now.
"Thanks, I still really want to go ahead with my idea for the adventure park, so I figured it was a good start," Katniss told her. "I've managed to save up some money, so I'm keeping my eye out for courses and the like. Although I keep thinking about asking Ms Potts about running a business and if she has any tips, but then I see how busy she is and don't want to get in her way," she joked, thinking about how busy the woman was.
“That is a great start” Portia said encouragingly, placing the tea in front of Katniss and letting her help herself to sugar and milk. “Oh I am sure she wouldn’t mind. She’d be a wonderful resource, I mean look how successful Stark Industries is”
"Yeah, but she's so busy, why would she bother with a kid poking around like me?" Katniss frowned, adding milk and a sugar to her tea.
“Katniss” Portia scolded, “That is not how she would see you at all. From what I know she’d love to help you out”
Katniss smiled at Portia, she was always so positive. "I'll think about it," she nodded, stirring her tea slowly with her spoon. "What's new with you anyway?"
“You should” Portia said, she gestured to Katniss to help herself to the sandwiches and cakes, “Me? Nothing much. I’m working on a new film which has been fun. I’ve actually been helping the props department too which is fun”
Katniss smiled at Portia and nodded as she listened to her friend talk. Her mind was still wandering back to the day at the lake. It was stupid really, she kept thinking about Gale as he emerged from the water looking glorious. Blushing, she kept her eyes on her tea in front of her. She hadn't really allowed herself to enjoy the day until afterwards. She'd been far too on edge, waiting for someone to make a comment, judge her for failing them in the Dreams. She knew it was stupid, she'd been told to differentiate between the worlds here and there, but as she had told Portia before, the was difficult.
“How are you getting on? Have you reached out to people about your adventure park idea?” Portia asked her, she’d noticed Katniss’ quietness at the picnic but had just assumed it was a little overwhelming for her. One thing she and Haymitch seemed to have in common was their tendency to keep to themselves. Which was probably why they got on well, Portia thought.
“Fine, fine, I guess. I’ve spoken to a couple of people and they like my idea and want to help. Umm, Johanna is up for it, Alyssa likes it and Gale said he wants to help and that he’d speak to Leliana because she might be able to help,” Katniss explained, eyes dropping to where her hands played with the handle of the mug at the thought of Gale’s girlfriend. She held no ill will towards the girl, she didn’t know her after all, but she couldn’t help the flicker of jealousy that flashed through her when the other girl’s name was mentioned.
“Well that’s good” Portia said, “If I can help then you know I will though I don’t really have survival skills to speak of” She was more than willing to help any way she could though. “I’m so glad that your idea is coming together. How are you and Gale doing?” she asked gently.
“I...we’re doing fine,” Katniss shrugged, willing her cheeks not to heat at the mention of the friend she was rapidly learning she had feelings for that were far more than just friends. “He’s been really supportive and I’m so thankful for it,” she couldn’t help the quirk of a smile that made it’s way on to her lips as she spoke of her handsome friend.
“Were you hoping for something more?” Portia asked, she was pretty attuned to certain things when she was focused on someone and she’d seen the way Katniss looked at Gale sometimes, a kind of wistfulness in her gaze.
“What?” Katniss’ head shot up to look at her friend. “What are you talking about? We’re friends, that’s all,” she told her with a little nervous laugh. She could feel her cheeks flame at the implication and returned her gaze to the mug in front of her. “Besides, he has a girlfriend,” she reasoned, perhaps a little glumly.
“That doesn’t stop someone imagining how things would be if they were different” Portia said, “It’s not a bad thing, you’d never do anything while they are together I know that. But it can be hard to see the person you want to be with being with somebody else”
“I’m not...I don’t…” Katniss started unsuccessfully, shaking her head and trying to deny what Portia was saying. “I don’t like him like that, I can’t like him like that, he’s my best friend,” she stated, trying to convince not only Portia of that, but also herself.
“Can’t and don't are two very different things love” Portia replied, “It's okay if you do you know. Nobody can tell you off for how you feel, unrequited love is practically a rite of passage and you will move on from it”
Katniss went to respond, defend herself and found the words empty in her mouth. She heaved a sigh and nodded slowly. “Rite of passage, fantastic,” she grumbled, lifting her mug to her lips to sip the hot liquid within. “Don’t suppose there’s a timescale for that is there?”
“I’m afraid not” Portia said, moving to wrap her arm around Katniss’ shoulders, “But you have friends to distract you with good food and random conversation” she promised.