Who: Wash & Lina What: The Shagmobile has a new owner, sob When: Last week sometime Where: Lina and Pete's Townhouse Rating/Warnings: Low, just your generic potty mouths Status: Complete!
Lina posting to the net that she was looking to sell her van couldn’t have come at a better time. When he had accepted the job at The Ranch, Wash knew he was going to have to eventually get a set of wheels for himself. Attempting to get there via bus was a half-day affair. He’d made it work for a little while, but it had gotten old very fast. Then there was the issue of making occasional supply runs up into the mountains to a certain ghost. Busses didn’t go up there, for one. For another it was easier for Wash to be sure he’d shaken any kind of tail if he was able to take a less direct route and he needed a car to do that.
He didn’t have much in the way of credit. In fact, he had next to no credit, so getting financed for a used car was next to impossible. And he wasn’t comfortable asking anyone to co-sign the loan with him. The lease he was able to get seemed to favor the car dealership and Wash wasn’t 100% comfortable with it.
But he desperately needed his own transportation. So, yeah, Lina’s post was very fortunate. Wash didn’t care if the van was old and riddled with bullets and maybe had a few blood stains. If it ran, he’d be thrilled.
He had sent Lina a text when he finished at The Ranch for the evening to let her know he was on his way to come look at the van and get her address in Costa Mesa. A half hour later he was knocking on her door.
Oh, the Shagmobile. It’d been her home throughout the years of running and hiding, the home that housed her and Neal across the states, where she had healed him and Pete after unfortunate gunshot wounds (she was sort of responsible for both). It’d been with her through all of it, equipped with stainless steel cases for weapons - back when firearms were her bread and butter - and some shelves that held first aid equipment, and even a safe. It’d been shot at many times. Multiple times, probably more times than she had fingers and toes, but the maintenance on it had been regular and somewhat pimped out by a local dreamer’s penchant for fixing up monster cars.
It was bittersweet, doing away with it. But the times changed and people grew, and now it was in her best interest to get something more practical. Something with four doors and a backseat, because unfortunately the Shagmobile didn’t have what she needed to install a car seat, according to state law. It’d been tempting to strip it from the good parts and junk it away, but hey, if someone she knew could actually make use to it, well, best to pass the legacy on.
Greeting him at the door was the tiny redhead in question, dressed in a charcoal-grey sweater dress, ginger hair pulled into a side ponytail, and a fat calico cat in her arms looking like it wanted to murder something. “Heeey, Wash - gimme a sec!” Guess squirmed in her arms before she finally set the epitome of obese feline to the ground, in which she hysterically went to try and pounce a bird on the sidewalk. Sigh. “Okay, sorry, there.”
In the driveway was the Shagmobile, of course. Off-white in color, had a couple of dents. Two doors on the side, two doors that opened wide in the back. “That’s the beauty. You want a drink first?”
“Hi, Lina,” Wash gave her a tired sort of smile when she opened the door. He blinked down at her - or rather at the large calico cat in her arms. Wash liked cats. He’d always wanted one, but had resisted taking one home for fear of it not surviving once his stepfather found it if for nothing else than because it was something special to ‘Little Davie’.
The cat turned her eyes up at him, not exactly the most friendly of faces, but Wash had the urge to reach out and pet her anyway, even if that meant he got back nothing but a bloody stump. Before he had the chance to even ask Lina if it was ok, however, the cat had squirmed herself free and was going about “hunting” on the front porch.
“Cute cat,” Wash said as he turned his attention back to Lina. His smile a little less tired looking on his pale face and his eyes a little more lit up.
The van, the infamous Shagmobile. Wash let out a low whistle as he approached it. “You weren’t kidding, this things seen better days.” But at the same time it looked well taken care of. Loved, even, if that were possible.
“Drink?” He really shouldn’t. He should seriously consider cutting back, especially since he was seriously considering taking Wisdom up on his job offer and hunting bounties while hungover did not sound fun at all. “Uh, yeah, um, a soda maybe?”
Lina hadn’t been advertising alcohol, but something more along the lines of soda - which they had. Not that she could drink much of it anymore; something about the caffeine, but Wash looked like he could use a kick or two of that. “Sure, come in,” she motioned, holding the door open before sauntering into the kitchen. Coke bottle and ice retrieved, soda poured, and it was ready to be handed to the guest of the townhouse. “You just missed Pete - he went to go get some fixings for dinner, he’ll be back in a bit if you wanna stay and discuss things.”
Things of the bounty hunting variety that her firestarting boyfriend was retiring from for their own personal reasons. Wash was good for it too - he was capable, she had seen it first hand. It seemed like just yesterday, though, that Pete had been using his connections to make sure there wasn’t a pricetag on her head anymore.
“Okay, before we start, let me give you some basic background that I need to be honest with,” she winced, clapping her hands together. “The paperwork for the Shagmobile - registration, title - is all...forged. Forged to pass off as legal and look legitimate, but..still forged. I wouldn’t have cared to tell a random Joe Schmoe about this but, considering you’re someone I knoooow...I wanted to cut the bullshit and be frank about it. You should be fine, though - I’ve never had an issue with it.”
“I’ll be meeting Pete later to go over the logistics,” Wash said as he accepted the offered soda. He was looking forward to that meeting. He was looking forward to the work. He’d given Pete some static for interrupting his night of drinking, but truth be told, he really hadn’t minded. It was only when shit was going down around him that he could focus. Plus, knocking a few low-life heads with the bull cue had been a bit therapeutic. “I think it’ll be at that bar you told me about on the net.”
He raised a brow at the whole forged documents thing. “Okay…” he started slowly. “I may regret asking this but...why are the van’s documents forged?” The way Lina had rifled through the pockets of her would be assailants the other night, Wash could easily see her doing the same thing and coming up with a pair of keys and then claiming the van as her own. It technically was stealing. But as far as Wash was concerned, if you were coward enough to try and mug someone small thinking their stature would make them an easy target, you deserved to have the tables turned on you.
Damn, if being honest was actually gonna make or break this deal, she was going to pout. But the security of the Shagmobile was solid, otherwise she wouldn’t have driven it the entire time during her ‘let’s run the fuck away before someone shoot my head off’ years. Lina motioned him back outside - where Guess was laying belly-up on the grass to catch some sun - and approached the clunker.
A pat to its steel exterior. It echoed a bit. “I got into some trouble a couple years ago. Had an old friend who owed me a favor obtain this for me in a not-so legal way. I needed something big, but not too big - something I could kind of live in so I wouldn’t have to stay in one place for a certain amount of time. Not the ideal mobile home, but it worked.”
Then a wry smile came to her lips, and she fished the keys out to open up the front doors and then the back doors. Part of the shaggy rug had been cut out (for the monogrammed doormats), the beaded curtains removed, and yes, the blood stains she talked about were there. Nothing gory, just a couple splotches here and there darkened. “Actually, this was my getaway when bounty hunters were after me. Ironic, isn’t it?”
Wash drank his soda thoughtfully as he listened to Lina’s explanation. Yes, he would agree that bounty hunters going after Lina was quite ironic, considering who she was living with now. He assumed there was a story behind that. The bounty hunters, that is, though there was probably a story behind how she had met Pete too. In fact, Lina was probably chalk full of exciting stories to thrill and amaze.
Wash smiled a little wryly behind his soda glass. Perhaps once this business with the van was finished, he could get her to share one or two of those stories. If she was in the sharing kind of mood.
First, the Shagmobile was demanding his immediate attention.
“Very ironic,” Wash agreed as he peered into the van. “I guess it doesn’t really matter if the van’s got legit papers or not,” he said as he peered around. “I doubt the van would still be considered hot at this point anyway. I’d imagine if there was a case it’s long since been buried somewhere. Stolen vehicles don’t really get special attention these days.” He shrugged, “I guess I was looking to satisfy my own morbid curiosity.”
The interior was pretty much as Lina had described it on the net, right down to those dark bloodstains that could’ve almost been mistaken for paint had Lina not pointed out what they actually where. Speaking of morbid curiosity, Wash wondered what the story was behind them. Something to do with fleeing for one’s life from eager bounty hunters, likely. Huh. Funny, the vehicle Lina used to escape was now going to be used by a bounty hunter.
Life was just full of little ironies.
Wash made his way towards the front of the vehicle to get a look at the driver’s seat and dash. “You know this would be the first vehicle I’ve ever owned,” he said casually over his shoulder to her and then chuckled. “Though I guess given the situation I should use the term ‘owned’ loosely.” He turned towards her fully. “Mind if we fire her up?”
“On that,” she chirped, stepping up into the driver’s side to insert the keys and twist. Then, vrooooooooom. It rumbled, roared, and vibrated to life. And to show him the mechanical side of it too, she popped the hood open. “Not the quietest thing, but I think you could fix that if you wanted to. It’s probably due for an oil change. Otherwise it’s been regularly kept up.”
Wash could keep the weapon case in there too. If he was about to take reigns on Pete’s contracts, he’d probably need it. Same with the first aid equipment she had stored in the back for those in case situations, it never hurt. There was a safe there too (easily movable) she had used to keep cash, forged documents and the various license plates she changed out. The idea of getting rid of this damn thing was severely bittersweet - there was part of her that wanted to keep and cling to it, but, naaaah.
Lina took a step back, arms crossed. “So what’cha think?”
Wash poked around a little bit more before answering Lina. The weapons case, first aide kit and safe would definitely be staying in the van. All of them would serve a valuable purpose in this upcoming chapter of Wash’s life. And even with them staying, there was still plenty of room in the back for...well, whatever it is Wash decided to shove in there. Overall The Shagmobile wasn’t the prettiest and she certainly wasn’t the quietest, but when everything was said and done, she seemed reliable with all the amenities an aspiring bounty hunter, ex-soldier and general member of Valarnet could possibly want. Really not that bad for a first car.
He climbed out of the van and He reached in the driver’s side to kill the engine so he and Lina could hear each other again. He flashed Lina a toothy grin. “I like her,” he declared taking a step back and regarding the van with a bit more appreciation than he had at first. “I’d love to give’er a new home and a continued career in badassery.”
Oh, yaaay! The bitty sorceress clapped her hands together, rocking back and forth on her heels excitedly. “Awww, that’s awesome. Thanks for inheriting our crap, Wash, we knew we could rely on you.” Hey, he’d be ready to go when he started taking down the scummiest of scumbags - from experience Lina knew there was enough space in the back to hold a couple of tied up and/or unconscious bodies if need be.
Though now the Shagmobile’s exit from her personal life was a real thing, and she circled the van to give look at it appreciatively. And that enthrallment might have eased into something of a pitiful pout, if we were to be honest. “This giant thing saved my ass more than once; she’ll do the same for you.” From her years on the run to the weeks she’d been on the road looking for a certain someone, to healing wounds and even spooning in it. It was a memento of life that was actually kinda hard to let go.
Fucking. Hormones. Yeah, let’s chalk it up to that.
It took a couple seconds for her mood to switch from ‘borderline emotional waterworks’ to ‘give me money,’ which was translated by the redhead turning to face Wash and holding her hand out: “I take cash only, please.”
Wash followed Lina with his steel grey eyes as she circled around the van. The way she was looking at it with big sad puppydog eyes, it was almost as if Wash were taking her most prized possession from her. And given the amount of work and effort and life she had put into the Shagmobile, that might not have been an untrue thing to say. He assumed it would be bittersweet for her to let go of a last remnant of a life she no longer lived (well, let’s be honest, he was quite familiar about not being able to let go. He still wore combat boots every day, for crying out loud), but for a moment Wash was afraid Lina was going to start to cry.
“Hey, Lina, are you sure you want to-“
And then as if someone and thrown a switch, Lina was back in business mode. Wash blinked a couple of times at her hand trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Finally his shoulders relaxed. “Of course,” he deadpanned.
Wash should have figured Lina would take only cash. Had Wash been a more experienced car buyer, he would have had her asking amount ready and with him As a general rule, Wash didn’t usually have a lot of cash on him. For starters he wasn’t used to having a lot of money on him. Growing up he had been lucky to have $50 to his name. He was slowly getting used to the idea of having money to spend. He’d gotten his pension check earlier in the month, however, and had been using it as spending money since his paychecks from Navi and The Ranch were going straight into his account.
He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket. The thing looked as though it had been with him since high school and maybe had seen some heavy combat of its own. “I got…” he thumbed the bills quickly, “$750 on me now.” He glanced up a little sheepishly at Lina and her expectant hand. “I can get you the remaining $250.”
Devilishly crimson eyes narrowed - almost to glare - but there was that hint of playfulness that insinuated otherwise. Lina was the expressive sort, and it was usually obvious when her stares meant death or lol just kidding. “Hmmmmm…” Height increased by standing on her toes, she so very ‘politely’ snatched the wad of cash from his hands and combed through it. One glance to Wash, another to the money again, and then she hugged it against her chest like a protective mother to a child. “Well, you’re lucky I like you enough to not charge interest.”
Joking, joking. Mostly. Business was in her blood, from when her parents ran their own shop through her childhood to punching the numbers of the massive profit margin that came with firearm dealings. Of the illegal variety, because nothing paid better than crime. “It’s a deal though,” she simpered, pleased with herself. “Shagmobile’s yours. At least most of it, until you cough up the rest. I know you won’t fuck me over; I can find out where you live in less than ten minutes and rob you blind.”
Ok, lesson learned. One does not take one’s wallet out when Lina Inverse is around. Wash looked a little forlornly at the emptiness of his wallet. There goes lunch and dinner for the next week. Well, she probably did him a favor cleaning him out like that. Now there wouldn’t be the temptation to blow his cash on fucking booze.
With a bit of an exaggerated sigh, Wash closed his wallet and returned it to his back pocket. “No,” he agreed. “I won’t fuck you over. Though, to be honest, I’d be more afraid of you magically electrocuting me than stealing my shit.” He laughed. “Because, honestly, I don’t have anything worth stealing. A second-hand last gen game console and a boob tube TV is probably about the best you’d get. Hell, the nicest thing I own is probably my dress blues, and I doubt you’d get much for them.” There was a quip on his tongue about the uniform not fitting her, but out of a desire not to get electrocuted (or knocked out), Wash decided to reign it in. “Don’t worry, I’ll have the remainder for you in a few days.”
“Your lack of stuff depresses me,” she blinked wide, before patting him in the back. It was meant for comfort but came out a little more rough than intended. “But I know you’re good for it. You’re like a fuzzy teddybear on the inside.”
Anyone else she would have followed to the ATM and charged interest with every minute that passed and then tacked on a couple Happy Meals to boot (even if her stomach didn’t seem like it wanted her usual fare of greasy processed food, she’d try, goddamnit). Lina snatched the keys, spun it around her finger, and then tossed it at him. “Here ya go! Documents are in the safe. Code is 1226, and you can change it whenever it strikes your fancy. Keys for the cases are in there, too. Other than that…” A scratch to her head, giving the vehicle final lookover. Wibble. “Have fun with her, Wash. Don’t get into too much trouble.”
Wash oof’ed just slightly with the rougher-than-intended pat on the back. It didn’t hurt, really, but unexpected contact like that always made his muscles clench in learned preparation for an actual hit. Just for an instant. When that hit didn’t come, his body relaxed.
He had also learned how to cover up this reaction to avoid being questioned about it. Tonight he laughed. “You think I’m a teddy-bear?” He asked with (what he hoped) was a playful frown. “Jesus, Lina, I’m gonna be out there bringing in the county’s scumbags for your boyfriend. I don’t need you saying I’m a fuzzy teddy-bear. I’m a fucking badass.”
He caught the keys she tossed to him. And just like that the Shagmobile was his. He was a little surprised she hadn’t decided to hold the keys for ransom until he coughed up the remaining $250 he owed her. He looked at the keys in his hands. He owned a car. The Shagmobile may not have been the most glamorous thing on the road, but he could say with pride that she was his. A genuine smile spread across his face. It had taken some time, but finally he owned something of value.
He looked up at Lina to thank her and she looked as though she was going to cry again. The smile on his face faltered and finally died. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Totally a teddy bear. Maybe not fuzzy - Wash had a bit of a rough exterior - but the insides were definitely made of plush cotton. “A badass teddy bear, then,” she winked, nose scrunched. Hey, who said he couldn’t be both? “And I’m sure. I promise. I’ve just been with that thing so long, it’ll definitely be a break in my routine of things, but it needs to happen. And I need to get something better. Something a normal adult would have.”
Lina’s arms crossed, feet shuffling against the cement, and the look she gave him was a tad sheepish. “It’ll make sense in a week or two, don’t worry.”
Pete had said something very similar when he’d offered to take Wash on as a protege. It seemed odd, but then again, Wash really didn’t know either Pete Wisdom or Lina Inverse well enough to tell if this was normal behavior for either of them. The former soldier narrowed his grey eyes and gave Lina a skeptical kind of look. “Sure,” he said finally and pointed the keys at her. “Just no more apocalyptic storms or explosions in the park, alright? I don’t want to go through that shit again.” The worn-out badass teddy-bear that he was.
“I’ll be back tomorrow with the balance I owe you,” he went on before climbing into the van - his van. He looked back at the petite redhead through the open door and gave her a little smirk, “And if you’re feeling nostalgic or whatever, you know where to find me.”