_capable_ (_capable_) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-10-13 16:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, capable, max rockatansky |
Who: Capable and Max
What: Out for a drive
Where: Around and about
When: Mid October
Rating/Warnings: Low/None
Status: Complete
Capable had been looking forward to getting out and about with Max, she liked his steady company and enjoyed being around him. It was like having a big brother and Capable, who was an only child raised in a cult, very much liked the idea of having a brother like Max. She hadn’t told anybody, not even Furiosa, Max or Splendid but it was her twenty first birthday that month but she wasn’t sure she really wanted to celebrate it. Part of her felt like she’d been robbed of a lot of that time, she wasn’t as educated as she should be and there were still a lot of things she didn’t understand. But as they drove along the road she found she could let go of some of that and just relax. Max was right, the open road was good for you.
She didn’t think she’d ever particularly want to drive herself but being a passenger was certainly something she could get used to. She’d brought along some books on cd for him so he could try them out when he was driving alone, she wasn’t sure if they would work for him but at least they would have tried.
“It’s very beautiful” she told him, breaking the comfortable silence, “I don’t know why but I didn’t expect it to be”
~*~
"Dreams maybe. Nothing beautiful in a dying world unless one wants to die."
Max wasn't too surprised Capable liked the view of the ocean as they traveled along the old highway. It wasn't nearly as crowded as a freeway. They had fellow cars, other trucks, for company, but no one was going anywhere in any kind of hurry; the anxiety and stress of the bigger roads was pushed aside in favor of enjoying the moment on the highway. It was a leisure way.
A riding road.
Looking over to Capable, he grinned, "This world? It's alive. Thriving. Good place. This one? This is a very good place. We're on a riding road. Nice way to spend a day until ready to set up camp."
He didn't always stay at the same beach. Sometimes Max moved around. There were other beaches friendly to him and his rig. No one really cared much about where Max chose to sleep seeing as he was clean, cautious, and not causing any trouble. Younger drivers or those who were in the business because there were no other options for them? They stirred up the pot until it boiled over. In comparison, having a madman around was hardly a concern.
~*~
Capable nodded, that was true. Perhaps she was so used to seeing the wasteland of her dreams that she forgot there was something other than that and the town she currently lived in.
This was a nice reminder, the ocean was vast like the desert but there was less hopelessness with it. It was more possibility than loss. She liked the water and decided she should make an effort to see it more.
“It is a good alive place” she agreed, “A place where everybody can find something and somebody to belong with” She was growing more confident by the day learning things and finding herself too. She knew it was thanks to their little family, she never felt bad with them or judged only supported and it was a nice feeling.
She could see why Max enjoyed it so much though she would get lonely on her own. She looked over at him properly, “Do you get lonely?” she asked him, “Or do you like the solitude?”
~*~
Her question was one Max had often been asked. Some of the men he'd served with while he'd been enlisted had offered to keep him company, keep in touch with him, remind him they hadn't forgotten him or what he'd gone through while serving his new country. Max had spoken to more than one therapist about the necessity of socializing with others. No one was meant to be alone all the time according to everyone who tried to advise him.
Max tried to put his thoughts on it into words.
"Some men are meant to be alone. Their lives---they lead to nothing other than death. Isolation is best. One of those men," Max pointed to his own chest, nodding affirmatively, "Bad for others. Better when alone."
The Road helped him more than he could ever express. It was always there, a constant. People were born and died every day while The Road was only expanded if it wasn't left alone. The Road had its own life to it, its own rules. Max was an ant joining The Road's picnic when he was driving on it. He was able to put it all into perspective when it was only him and The Road alone.
"Don't get lonely when on The Road. It's always there. Always more of it. Never going to leave. Never going to die. Won't ever find anyone better. The Road is an always. Comforting. Like it. Feel at peace when on The Road."
~*~
“I don’t think you’re bad for others” Capable told him, “You’re good for me, and Furiosa, and Splendid, and you know Valerian already loves his Uncle Max” she added with a smile as she thought of the baby. She leaned over as much as she could to briefly hug his arm, Max may think isolation was better but Capable didn’t think so, he was a good man and their family would help him see that. Or that was her hope anyway.
“But I am glad you don’t feel lonely” she said, that would be awful to know that when he travelled he felt alone. She would have insisted on going with him if that had been the case. “It is peaceful, everything else can disappear and you can just focus on the road, the journey” You didn’t even really need to think about the destination, after all she had no idea where they were going but it didn’t matter.
~*~
"Uncle Max…"
He tested the title out, smiling a real smile at the way it sounded. He'd never been anyone's uncle or brother or even really anyone's anything other than son. Max had been a son once and a husband and a father. Every other familial title was forbidden him, as out of reach as the stars in the night sky he enjoyed watching so much. Capable had a way with words where she seemed to instinctively say exactly what he needed to hear when he needed to hear it.
Max wondered if perhaps Fate might not be real given how low the odds were of him meeting her out of all the people in Orange County.
Patting her leg awkwardly, he agreed, "Like that. Never been one before. An uncle. Been a son. A husband. A father. Soldier, too. Mostly spent life as a madman. Think being an uncle is much better. Glad to have met you, Capable. Bright soul. That's you."
She would have a blessed life if Max had anything to say about it. No one would hurt her on his watch. There were so many bad people in the world it was hard to make a promise of that sort which was why Max kept his thoughts to himself on the matter. He'd do what he could, but she couldn't drop her guard only on the say-so he'd watch out for her. No matter who was on a person's six, they still needed to keep their own eyes open.
~*~
“Being an Uncle suits you” Capable said, she’d seen him with the baby and he was a natural. The child knew it too, he settled so well with Max, he had a calmness to him which seemed to be at such odds with how he viewed himself. But it matched how she and the others saw him. A sweet kind hearted man.
“Well you can be an uncle and a brother” she told him smiling at his kind words for her, “A kind soul to go with a bright one. And I am very very glad that I met you Max, I can’t imagine not having you around now” He was a big part of her life and it wouldn’t be right if he wasn’t in her life.
As protective as he felt about her she was the same about him. He deserved to at least feel at peace if he couldn’t find true happiness and she was determined to help him find what he could to make his life easier.
~*~
All the sweetness which had been directed at Max since he'd started reaching out to others in Orange County was almost overwhelming. His thoughts crashed inside his mind, waves upon waves of memories, drowning his awareness of the world around him. Once, he'd had a sweet woman at his side. Jesse had smiled, laughed, brightened his every day. His son had never darkened a moment from the time he was born until the moment he'd passed.
Did he deserve happiness?
Max wasn't certain any longer. All he knew was how it felt to be a man drowning in his own reflection. He adjusted his mirrors idly with the electronic controls. Anything which could distract him from the woman at his side was welcomed. She was a memory for him, too. They had met in another world, another life, and Max had not been a bright spot in her life that time. Why should this time be any different?
"Worry about you. About all of you. Dreams are not peaceful. You deserve peace. Not sure peace comes in life for," Max pointed his thumb back at his chest, "Hope this choice, being around a madman, doesn't make life bad for you."
~*~
Capable let him distract himself for a while, she knew he found things overwhelming sometimes and allowed him the quiet he needed to sort out his thoughts and feelings. She didn’t blame him, sometimes she had to do the same. She still woke up sometimes thinking she was back at the farm about to be essentially sold to an old man but then she took in her surroundings and reminded herself she was safe.
“You’re right, the dreams aren’t peaceful but that isn’t because of you. Despite how we started out you went on to help us Max, you protected us. We were lucky to have you there just as we are here” she smiled sweetly, “Having you around could never make life bad. You make things better”
From her point of view he was wrong, he had been a bright spot in the dreams for her and he did deserve happiness. Of those things she was very sure and very clear.
~*~
In response, all Max could manage was another light pat to Capable's knee. She was too much for him to understand all at once. The kindness she offered was outside his realm of expertise. All he wanted was to be able to share with her how she made him feel, but the words were stuck inside his head. Max wasn't sure he'd ever even learned the proper words to explain what her generosity of spirit did for him.
The world was a dark place even though it was alive. Death lingered all around Max. He often caught a whiff of it on the air when it rushed past him while he sat on the beach. A shadow of death sat beside him always, whispers came to him from the shade and their words were those of the dead. Max had gotten used to trying to tune them out by focusing on the moment, on the road, on anything else.
He couldn't remember having a living person to focus on since the loss of his family.
That was what Capable and the others gave him: living people to drive away the dead.
Driving on, Max nodded to the ocean out the window, "As far as the eye can see, that? That's freedom too. Freedom and death. It's water which does not give life. One could get far enough out in it and it'd be no different than the Wastelands: surrounded on all sides by certain death from thirst. You? You're fresh water. Thank you."
It was the best Max could do.