Jemma Simmons is a terrible liar (needanewplan) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-10-05 11:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, jemma simmons, natasha romanoff (black widow) |
Who: Jemma and Natasha
What: Spy training
When: 5 October, lunch time
Where: Random Cafe
Warnings Low/None
Status: Log | Complete
Today was going to be a lesson. A lesson in the mundane, a lesson in acting like normal but still being observant. Though honestly it was just an excuse to escape the office and get some coffee and a good sandwich with Jemma. Nat didn’t want to admit it, but she was a little lonely. She had pestered Barton, but right now, Jemma would be pleasant enough company.
She led Jemma to a table. “The thing about people, is they’re used to routine. You can use that to your advantage and hide in plain sight.”
To be honest, Jemma wasn’t quite sure why Natasha wanted to teach her how to spy. No, actually, there were plenty of reasons. Just because she had been told she wasn’t going to need to go undercover, there was always a chance that could change and while Jemma knew how to hold herself in that situation, this was a bit different.
And well.. it got her out of the lab and her unending search for answers that continued to thwart her. It would give her something to focus on that wasn’t her growing list of failures in the dreams.
“Routine. Yes.” Jemma knew all about routine. She had her own, and she suspected that all came down to human nature. For some (probably herself included), it was a matter of having some sort of control in their lives. Some it was just comfort and familiarity. Jemma’s struggle in this (at least usually, though she was getting better, just like with lying) was that she wasn’t good at seeming comfortable if she wasn’t actually comfortable.
“Acting nervous at the wrong time is of course a dead give-away. And usually leads to being dead.” Nat flipped open a menu. “But acting calm when you should be nervous can have the same effect.” She smiled at Jemma from across the menu. “Out to lunch with a friend, you wouldn’t be nervous. But a contact or a mark, you might want to play up the nervousness. Especially if they’re someone that most people would find attractive.”
“Coulson mentioned that.” When he had been giving her tips on how to survive undercover. Her weakness was lying, so use that to her advantage. Fall into the half truths, use specific language. My loyalties are with science instead of swearing loyalty to Hydra and renouncing SHIELD. Weaponise her honesty was what it really had been about. Still, she was well aware of the risks of being caught. Had lived months in fear of it, dreamt it and now was just that much more paranoid and prepared. So instead she just opened her menu as well. Because Natasha was right. Lunch with a friend? Not a thing that most people would be nervous about.
Natasha thought that Coulson's advice was sound, even if he wasn't a true spy. "The trick is to be observant while acting normal. That shouldn't be too hard for you, you're a scientist, and you must have picked up a few things while doing your special job in your dreams. So here we are at lunch." She flipped through the menu. "Which is an entire truth because I really just wanted to get out."
“Observation is easy.” At least for Jemma. She could come up with scenarios very easily and notice things. When she wasn’t caught up in the science of things, which could happen if it was a new discovery. More so before she had her heart repeatedly broken and faith shattered. But she was always good at observing, so she just nodded.
Then the truth came out and Jemma laughed some.
“Yes, well, getting out is an important thing to do once and awhile.”
"Holidays are a busy time for me, so it's probably good to get out while the getting is good." Nat nodded at her, grinning. "At least until the inevitable snow storm and the usual strange events in December."
“Yes, yes it is.” And then there was talk about snow and strange events. “I wish I could be shocked that there will undoubtedly be snow here as that is something you never hear about in this region. But given where we are…” It pretty much summed it up. Strange things would happen and it was best to enjoy things like getting out for lunch while one could.
"Every year for the past three years, without fail. Last year's came a little earlier than the previous two." Natasha explained. "And near Christmas there's usually a string of occurrences. A meteor shower, and then, for some people, wishes actually come true."
“My automatic response is that shouldn’t be scientifically possible. The wishes part anyway. As it stands…” Well, science didn’t have the answers for some of the things that happened and there really wasn’t much she could do about that. She didn’t know how she would feel about making a wish for something, how sound it would be since well, Orange County. Though she could also see the appeal. “At least it seems there is some predictability with the snow.” Usually there was none. Things just happened. Those who had visions could see things but it was never really enough to prepare.
"Wishes seem to go away by New Years, so I figure it's best to not wish for anything you'd want long term." Natasha shrugged her shoulder. Part of her was unaffected by it. "Or not wish for anything at all."
"The first year snow was the worse, I'm told. Had a problem bringing in snowplows. Last year roads were cleared pretty quickly. The county adapts. Climate change. We’ll need to adapt anyway."
“And there is always a caveat.” So note to self. Don’t wish for anything. Not that she had plans on it anyway just because who knew what would happen. That and her belief that if you wanted something, you needed to work for it. She could see the appeal, but she just didn’t see that for herself.
“That makes sense. No one would expect it that first year.” And adapting, it was what humans did. Oh they fought it and fought scientists about climate change and whatever else they wanted to politicise. But that didn’t change that when they needed to, they found ways to adapt.
“That probably depends. Wish you could fly shotgun in a fighter jet and that probably won’t come back to bite you in the ass.” Nat leaned back, grinning. “The selfish, experience type wishes would probably work out the best. Hoping for something personal or to help someone out, that would hurt if it went away.”
“Probably being the key word.” Jemma wasn’t so sure things like that wouldn’t have repercussions, but Natasha was probably right about the dreams for certain experiences would work out better than ones that were to help others or something personal. Which tended to be more in line with what people would think about.
Nat ordered a drink, then set her menu aside. “How have your dreams been, anyway?” She knew they could be stressful for some people, and that Jemma’s were pretty damn stressful. But anyone from any of her dreams would be stressed all to hell.
Drink ordered, Jemma then blinked. Oh right. Dreams. The things she did her very best not to talk about as of late. Sometimes something might come up, a question (or comment like how Coulson had told her something similar to Natasha about the spying bit) or what might be of use in a conversation. But to actually discuss them? Not really a thing Jemma was known for. No. She buried them deep inside of herself, worked tirelessly to not fail as she felt she did in the dreams and just… went about her business.
Even if it wore on her. Make up and making sure to dress a certain way, do her hair, all subtle but all ways to mask the exhaustion and layers of guilt and grief and PTSD. Especially since Coulson was apparently working with Ward and she didn’t know how to handle that. Or the fact that May had gone to the people they couldn’t trust only for her attempt to exonerate Coulson and Skye show Coulson working with Ward and not knowing what to believe. Again.
“Rebuilding is.. difficult. It seems we have two factions within SHIELD in how they want to handle things.” And with the growing list of Coulson’s secrets, Jemma wasn’t sure who was right. Both had valid points. Same side, same goal, different means of execution. “It appears Agent Morse was working undercover for the other side of SHIELD who wants more transparency to keep Hydra from infiltrating again.”
And she could understand that. She could. But her burning hatred for Ward seemed to have intensified when she saw his face on the screen. The last thing she had seen before waking up.
“Powered individuals which somehow deal with the Obelisk or original 0-8-4.” Working with Whitehall who had ended up being Reinhardt, though she had already spoken to Peggy about that. “So, I suppose chaotic would be an accurate description.”
Natasha grimaced. None of that sounded good, and with the Avengers off dealing with old Hydra bases (and then messes of their own creation), they probably weren't much help. "Transparency is important. I burned myself to ensure transparency. But I've been a little preoccupied in those dreams. Sometimes I long for the days when things were simpler. But too many secrets back then."
And as per usual, Jemma was exceptionally good at answering without answering the personal aspects. She was focused on the facts and those were where they were. Trying to rebuild while having two factions with the same goal just different methods and then whatever had happened to Skye and Raina and realising it wasn’t a virus and having to figure out how to somehow help and exonerate the team all the while dealing with Coulson’s growing list of secrets.
“Transparency. Democracy.” How many times had she grown frustrated with the secrets and how she was always the one who had to keep them as of late, isolating herself further from a team she was desperately trying to reconnect with? How many times had she challenged Coulson on direct orders when it should be more than that? When opinions should matter? “I understand both sides but as I said, it’s chaotic. I do understand the desire for things to go back to when they were simpler. But given what happened because of that…” Hydra. It was a headache.
“It’s Pandora’s Box. Once opened, it can’t be so easily closed.” Jemma seemed to be very good at keeping the personal feelings locked away, but Nat suspected the topic of conversation was uncomfortable at the least. “So how’s your home life? Dating anyone?” Oh, Nat knew but she liked to see the way people responded to questions like that. She’d pulled that with Steve, once.
"That sounds like an accurate description." Though Natasha was right in the fact that while she was good at keeping personal feelings locked away, she was a bit uncomfortable with the conversation. So taking a drink as the conversation turned to her private life, Jemma just quirked a well sculpted eyebrow. "It's fine. And yes, I am. I'm fairly certain you were in charge of the paperwork for getting clearance for her procedure."
Which had been exhausting but successful and they now had some room to breathe. "So if that's a way to see how it went? She's fine and we are working on figuring out a long term solution." Depending on the person who asked, Jemma might have gotten flustered but given the fact she knew Natasha must have already known and that she knew for certain Natasha was a spy and this was the guise of learning how to do just that, she was much more composed since she saw through ruse. Logic and science, Jemma’s weapons of choice.
Natasha smiled lightly. “Sometimes the literal side of HR comes in handy.” Or applying pressure in the right places at the right time because the bureaucracy was about as bad an evil to fight as Dr. Doom. At least Doom had good benefits for his people. “I’m sure it’ll come, there are few things that can’t be dealt with by smart people.”
“I can imagine.” A slight smile because Jemma didn’t hold it against Natasha to use spy tactics in a spy lesson to try and get information. She needed to know how to hold up against them anyway. Just because it was under the guise that she learn how to observe and keep her calm while on assignment, she also knew she could end up on the flip side and needed just as much help there.
Thank goodness those skills had passed over from the dreams as well. But she did nod. “Very few indeed.” But with an unknown clone related illness and not having the original samples, it was hard to know. Especially when Jemma wasn’t so sure of her abilities thanks to her failures in the dreams as she saw them.