Entry tags:

!complete, daryl dixon, rick grimes

Who: Daryl Dixon dixonda & Rick Grimes rick
What: Chatting after Dinner
When: Backdated, Monday 09/15, night
Where: Rick's house
Rating/Warnings: Low/Slight Cursing, some thoughts about depressing dreams.
Status: Closed/Completed GDoc

~*~

Daryl hadn't planned on staying too long after dinner on Monday night, although he found it rather hard to leave. In his dreams they had each others backs, and alone time? Well, there wasn't a lot of it when you were trying to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Not that he'd talked much more about his dreams to Rick. He'd rather leave well enough alone, and unless Rick asked him? Daryl was going to keep staying as mum about them as he could. It wasn't a big secret that he was dreaming, he'd mentioned it several times on the Network, but he hadn't divulged a lot of information.

After dinner they watched a movie, during which Judith fell asleep cradled in Daryl's arms. He wondered briefly if the Lori in his dreams was pregnant with her later on down the line, or if something changed here in the real world as opposed to the dream world. Of course it appeared that could happen considering there weren't any Walkers here, but Daryl wasn't quite sure what could change.

It was too much, too confusing for him to think about, and instead he watched the movie, gently swaying Judith in his arms. Once the movie went off, Daryl looked over at Rick. "I should probably get goin'." His voice was low, quiet in order to hopefully not wake up Judith, although his words did not carry much conviction. While Daryl was a loner by nature, he found himself craving the company of good friends more and more these days. That probably had to do more with the dreams than anything else, although he didn't want to intrude on Rick's time more than he felt he already was.

"Want me to put her to bed?" He asked, glancing back down at Judith before his eyes darted back over to Rick.

~*~

RIck had nearly gotten lulled to sleep watching the movie with Daryl. Peaceful. The man brought a lot of peace into his life which Rick could never thank him enough for or even come close with words. He managed to look over with eyes wide enough to appear awake. What Daryl said wasn't making any sense until it came across a second time on replay in his mind and then he shook his head to the negative.

"Nah. Stay the night. Put her down and come back here. We'll finish the movie before calling it quits."

He didn't want to think about Daryl driving back to his trailer by himself. It seemed too lonesome a life for the man to be living. Daryl was a good sort who didn't have enough good around him. Everyone could use more friends; Rick wouldn't trade Daryl Dixon for any five new friends. That man had given the best of himself to make sure Rick had kept things safe in his town back home. Feeding him a good meal and giving him a safe place to lay his head once in awhile was the least he could do.

"This couch might crawl off if we don't both sit on it to hold it down. Never know, right?"

Rick grinned. He didn't have a problem letting Daryl put Judith to bed. His daughter loved Daryl the way she loved Rick or her brother, Carl. Babies were a good judge of character. They knew when someone was comfortable with them. Daryl was certainly comfortable enough holding her. It almost seemed the only time he was comfortable was when he was holding the little girl or tending to her needs.

~*~

It was hard to turn down spending the night with the Grimes family. Daryl didn't feel as if he put them out, and he definitely felt like part of their family. He too got peace while being around them. The world of his dreams seemed just like that: dreams. Nothing bad could touch him here, or at least, that was how he felt about things.

Giving a nod, Daryl carefully stood, balancing Judith in his arms before making his way to her nursery. Gently he put her down into her crib, and covered her up. He flipped on her nightlight, taking one last look at her before finally turning and leaving the room.

"Yeah, couch might run off. Never can tell with the damn things." Daryl had always been more of a night owl, though the dreams had prevented him from really sleeping that well, so he'd really become more of a night owl because of it.

Daryl plopped down on the other end of the couch, elbows resting on his thighs as he leaned forward to look at the television. "Don't want to keep you up too late. We can finish the movie some other time." He lifted a shoulder, turning his head to look over at Rick. Really Daryl didn't mind, he wasn't that tired, but sleep wouldn't come that easily for him anyway even when he did lie down.

His mind would be racing with possibilities from his stupid dreams, or he'd be concerned about what he'd dream about. It was a real mess, if he was being honest, but it was what it was and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it.

~*~

"Being honest? I don't sleep all that well alone. Strange to think seeing as I'm a grown man. I just---don't."

Rick shrugged. There was little else for him to say. If it had been anyone else, Rick wouldn't have told them something so personal. His life was very private as a result of his upbringing more than anything else. Daryl would understand that without Rick saying as much. The man came from where he'd been raised. They were the same in a lot of their beliefs, their raising, and their life's experiences though they'd been on opposite sides of the fence until Daryl had turned State's evidence.

He liked to have Daryl around for the sheer comfort of home.

"Lori's been gone some months now. You'd think I'd have gotten over it. Guess it's one of those things I'll have to take a lot longer to get over. Never thought I'd be in this shape or this place in life. She was always the careful one. Me? I'm the guy who orders the sandwich with extra bacon and cheese. Lori was the one who jogged of a morning."

No one had prepared Rick for what it would be like to be a widower. His parents had been alive, healthy, married more than fifty years when he had lost his own wife. Carl was going to be raised without his mother there to take pictures of him on his Prom night. Judith would have to get the facts of life from a fumbling Rick rather than a confident, quietly beautiful Lori. None of them would ever have a home-cooked meal prepared 'just like Mom makes' again.

~*~

Daryl's brows furrowed, and he shook his head. "Nah," he leaned back until his back hit the back of the couch, "there ain't no timeframe for how long it takes." He didn't think that anyone should have a timeline for grieving.

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Daryl thought over his words. "Bad shit happens to good people more often than it should. I hate that what happened did, but you're doing right by these kids. They're happy, they know they're loved, and you're doing alright. That's what matters." Shit, his people weren't good people, and they'd live to be a hundred and curse the devil for trying to take them sooner.

Bad shit shouldn't happen to good people, but it did all the time. Daryl had never understood that, but that wasn't his place to question the grand design of the universe even if he didn't believe in much personally.

All he knew were facts, and what he could see in front of him.

"Hell, I don't sleep much either. I just didn't want to keep you from it is all." He lifted a shoulder, settling down a little more where he sat to get comfortable. He didn't have to be at the site until later on in the morning, and even if he had to go in early, Daryl would've stayed up as late as Rick wanted to.

"After I finish with work tomorrow, you want me to come by and help with the farm?"

~*~

Being alone was nice in theory yet terrible in reality. Some days Rick wanted nothing more than another adult in the house to talk to about his day. His kids were great, but Judith was an infant and Carl didn't need anything else added onto his plate. There hadn't been a lot of opportunities for him to make adult friends who'd come over in the evenings to spend time with him regardless of the kids being around.

It wasn't as if Rick had anyone to leave his children with or anywhere to take them to so he could develop a social life.

"I'd like that very much. I'll be glad to pay you for your time. We're doing well here. Better than I ever thought I would, to be honest. I had no idea how little I made working for the Sheriff's Department until I got here and had a real paycheck if you know what I mean."

Rick chuckled because he couldn't help it. They had come a long way from home to wind up in California together. Life was something which could never be anticipated, only experienced. He had learned that the hard way. It was a good thing he was learning how to be a better father, a better provider, and a better friend while in the OC. He felt good about the way his life was working out---largely because Daryl was around to help him see the good in his circumstances.

"We aren't putting you out are we? Well. Me. Am I putting you out? I know you're still young, got no kids, likely want to spend time finding a friend who's a little more than a friend. I don't want to keep you from having a social life."

~*~

He gave a small nod, "Sounds fair enough, but you know I don't mind coming by to help you out." It wasn't as if Daryl had anything to do after work but stay out of trouble anyway. He went out sometimes to bars, although it wasn't often that he brought someone home or went home with them.

Daryl was actually quite picky when it came to bedfellows.

"I know what you mean though. I make real good with Turner Construction." At least he thought he was doing rather well, though rent at the trailer park was higher than he'd like for it to be. That came with living where they did though. California's cost of living was definitely higher than Georgia where they were from.

"I ain't that young." Daryl responded with a laugh and shake of his head, he was inching toward fifty with each passing year. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm picky about who I entertain for an evening, and I've never really had a real relationship. Well, not since high school." What time he was in high school, and that had been with a chick actually despite his sexuality since he hadn't wanted to give anyone any ammunition to use against him.

It wasn't right to live his life in hiding like that. He'd only come to realize that after he was older, and had experienced the world outside of Georgia.

"So no, you ain't putting me out, I enjoy spending time here. It's about the only time I feel at peace." He admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.

~*~

"I barely remember what it felt like to feel young. Myself I'm the same way. Never had it in me to do a woman that way. Felt disrespectful even if the woman in question wasn't opposed."

Rick rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. He didn't often talk about experience of a sexual nature. People knew he had some seeing as he was married. It was obvious his kids were his kids. They were plainly Grimes stock. There hadn't been much of a social life for him to speak of prior to meeting Lori. She'd been his childhood sweetheart before becoming his wife and after becoming his wife---well, Rick hadn't ever been the kind to stray.

He had no doubt Daryl had entertained more than he ever had in his days.

Looking over at him, he admitted, "There weren't women before Lori. Not really. Swapped some kisses here or there. Never made it to second base before her. I think about that a lot. How people think I should start dating. What do I know about dating? I had a childhood sweetheart. I married her. That was that. To be honest, I'd just as soon spend the rest of my afternoons with you. Helluva lot easier than trying to entertain a woman."

That wasn't exactly the best way to tell Daryl he'd become a valued friend. It was the best Rick could manage under the circumstances. He cared about the guy. They found peace in one another's company. Daryl treated his kids as if they were his own. Rick considered himself a lucky man to have Daryl Dixon in his life. He was only trying to express that without sounding too much of a fool.

~*~

Daryl honestly couldn't remember what it felt like to be young either. More often than not he woke up feeling stiff, and sore in places that he shouldn't feel sore in yet. A hot shower always helped soothe away some of the aches and pains, but there always seemed to be some lingering ache.

Women weren't something he entertained unless they were friends. Though female friends were few and far between for Daryl. Friends for that matter were few and far between for Daryl.

He pursed his lips in thought. Daryl believed Rick when he told him that there had only been Lori. Rick had stuck him as that sort of guy, although he would have never asked about it. It wasn't any of his business, and Daryl didn't feel like he had any right to pry in Rick's life regarding anything, even if they were friends.

That just wasn't him, or how they were as people.

"Nah," he shook his head, "people shouldn't push you about dating. You'll be ready when you're ready for it. If you ever are." It comforted Daryl to know that Rick enjoyed spending time with him just as much as he enjoyed spending time with him.

Sighing, Daryl stretched his legs out, crossing his legs at the ankles. "The guys back home always tried to push me towards whatever girl they thought I should be with. That typically meant whatever girl was easiest, and that they'd probably had a few times over." He let out a long breath, "Truth was, I wasn't interested in anything they had to offer." That was the truth, even if he wasn't telling Rick the entire story.

~*~

Rick chuckled as he found it entirely too easy to picture what Daryl was describing. They came from a place where girls who got a reputation tended to land with guys---well, guys like Daryl Dixon. He'd been barely inside the law, associated with men who weren't even close to inside the law, and had ties to everything which could be wrong in three counties. Bad girls wound up with bad men.

It wasn't like in the movies either.

Bad men weren't like the cinema's version of "bad boys" who always had a heart of gold and secretly wanted to be on top of the Greenpeace ship helping save the planet.


They were the kind of men who'd pass a girl around their friends before taking their turn. None of those men would think about whether she was crying or if she wanted it. The only peace they knew was the kind they found at the bottom of their bottle of choice. Daryl would have been forced to watch a lot of that kind of behavior growing up. Rick had no doubt he wouldn't be telling Daryl anything about so-called bad girls getting what they deserved from bad men.

"We're a right pair of confirmed bachelors. Sitting on my couch talking about how we'd rather watch some television than entertain a lady friend. Next thing you know we'll be comparing ailments. At least we've got good company, right?"

Rick nodded as he settled back onto the couch, smiling the whole time since he knew Daryl would understand without having to answer at all. They had that kind of friendship and it was a beautiful thing.

Life was good as far as he was concerned. Real good.