Who: Katniss and Gale What: After this Where: Laguna Niguel Regional Park When: Start of September Rating: Low Status: Complete
Katniss was still apprehensive, she'd been persuaded to come along by Johanna but she still felt like their eyes were on here. She felt like they blamed her for how it all seemed to be turning out in the Dreams. So she sat slightly off to one side, keeping mostly to herself. Looking over the glittering lake, Katniss leaned her head back and took in the warmth of the sun. The sounds of nature around them were what calmed her most and she focussed on that more than anything.
As promised, Gale brought a few inner tubes on this trip, things that were buoyant for floating down a river on - or a lake, in this case, but it meant being out in the open air and around Panem friends so he’d consider all of that a positive. There were food and drinks too, beer and sodas and sandwiches, dessert from Peeta - everyone was having their fun splashing around and lounging like lazy lizards in the sun (moments of normalcy, he’d learned to appreciate them) so Gale picked out a beer for himself and brought Katniss a bottled water.
Then he settled near her, a 6’3 shadow in swim trunks looming before he sat, handing her the drink. “If you want something else I can get it, but I thought you might want to rehydrate,” he grinned a little, though it didn’t reach those Seam grey eyes. He still felt a little guilty about how he’d snapped at her during the anger magic debacle, but they’d come out of it okay.
Katniss looked up as his shadow blocked her light. Something was off with him but she didn't know what and she watched him force a smile. He was wearing very little too, which didn't help her train of thought. She reached up and took the bottle he held out to her, accidently brushing her fingers against the skin of his hand. "Thanks, this is great," she smiled in return and cracked the bottle open to take a sip. "Are you having a good time?" She asked, shifting for him to sit on the blanket she was sat on.
“Yeah, pretty good. It’s nice to get away for awhile,” Gale nodded, making himself comfortable on the blanket. Definitely nice to get away - he didn’t want to talk about his dreams, didn’t want to think about Panem, didn’t want to remember what had happened to him and what he’d done to himself and how he didn’t even get any sort of closure at all. He pulled back the tab of beer and took a long swig - it wasn’t the expensive stuff, but cheap beer was best when floating on the water anyway. Whatever got the job, done right? He’d also been involved in a pretty tricky ‘assignment’ the night before - something he didn’t plan to tell Leliana about, since it wasn’t her who gave the assignment, but he’d pulled the trigger and got the job done there too.
Well, he wasn’t really one for apologies but at the moment he felt like he owed Katniss one. “Hey, listen, I’m sorry about...being snippy with you before,” he said sincerely. “Apparently it was some anger spell that was making people crazy but I still feel bad about it.”
Katniss smiled gently and let him talk, feeling like he needed to just speak. She’d figured that something was off because it was so unlike him to be so short with her. “It’s ok, I understand, although it was definitely different seeing you being a jerk,” she teased him with a smile, bumping his shoulder with her own. She watched his face, still worried that something was haunting him. “Are you ok?” she ventured cautiously. She didn’t want to make him angry or upset, but she felt that there was something he was holding on to.
“I’m good,” Gale promised, and he was - or he’d try to be. He came here to relax, to take his mind off of things for awhile, and he was pretty sure that everyone who dreamed of Panem felt the same way. There were no happy endings, especially not for him. Maybe one day he’d come to terms with it but he couldn’t right now - it hurt too much, it was a raw and fresh wound and so the only solution was to not think about it until he could stand it a little more.
He turned a little and smiled at Katniss, something encouraging. “Right, so your survival course idea. How’s that coming? Leliana said she’d help, if that’s okay? She’s pretty good with a bow and arrow too, she got this amazing longbow from her dreamworld, and she’s also good with knives.” if not, that was okay - but she’d offered, that was the important thing.
“Ok, fine, continue to be dark and mysterious,” Katniss teased with a little smile. She looked at the others, still feeling conscious about their presence, like she couldn’t be seen to be enjoying herself. “I’m looking into courses about business administration and everything. Alyssa pointed out that it might be a good idea and it seemed sensible,” she told him. “Who’s uh...who’s Leliana?” she asked, trying to sound casual but there was a sinking feeling in her stomach.
“Oh, right business administration. That’s definitely a good idea, so you know how to keep up the books and everything,” Gale agreed, swallowing another mouthful of beer. He leaned back on his elbows, watching the other Panem dreamers mill about, chatting and swimming and doing their frolicking thing in the water. Even Haymitch was here, which was surprising - though it was nice to get everyone together. Solidarity, or something.
The question about Leliana brought him back to the present, however. “She’s my girlfriend,” he said, and it had taken months for them to get there - to fall into some kind of ‘relationship,’ a stable commitment. It was difficult, in both their line of work, to do that sort of thing. Especially for him, a soldier, whose life wasn’t even his own. “I’ve told her all about you. About Panem and stuff...obviously she dreams too, just of a different world. She was there when I was whipped, when I woke up.” All bloodied and slashed open, kind of a gruesome sight.
“Oh, right,” Katniss gave a tight smile and nodded. She felt a surprising amount of disappointment at that revelation that she tried not to let show on her face. Tucking some hair back behind her ear that had fallen from her plait, she took a drink of water as she got her thoughts in order. She’d been there when he had woken up whipped, which meant they’d been together for a while now and Katniss couldn’t help the little burst of jealousy that this other woman had been there and not her. In the Dreams, she had barely left Gale’s side and a small part of her said that it should have been her who had helped him here. “I’d be happy for the help,” she told him, forcing a smile. “What uh...what does she Dream about then?” she asked, focussing her gaze on the bottle in her hands as she fiddled with the lid.
“War,” he chuckled bitterly, because it was something that he and Leliana had in common. Her experiences had hardened her, turned her to steel beneath the look of ivory skin - and the same for Gale too. His had ended in a less than satisfying conclusion, and by the time he stopped dreaming, he hadn’t even recognized himself. The loneliness though, the knowledge that Katniss had chosen Peeta and cast Gale from her life - it hurt. He’d tried to encase himself in so much titanium, to do what was best for her and to allow her to move on with her life without him in it, but not even he could stop the ache entirely.
Leliana’s war was simply a different kind, that was all. “In her dreams, mages are sort of...discriminated against. There are a lot of political problems; it’s a medieval kind of world, with dragons and mythical creatures too. And everything kind of erupts into battle.” His gaze was far-off and thoughtful as he considered. “But here’s different. Life is...simpler now. We both have to remember that.”
Katniss quirked a smile at that. “Is there anyone in this place who doesn’t Dream about war?” she replied darkly, playing with the bottle top. “So she’s basically a weapons master then?” she asked. “Sounds like she would be an asset to have on board,” Katniss told him. If Leliana made him happy then she could live with that and she sounded like she had more to offer him than Katniss did. Although it struck Katniss that it was only hearing about another woman in his life that had made her realise her feelings towards him. So maybe she had to admit now that she had a crush on her best friend, she could keep it to herself, so long as he was happy. Besides, Katniss had gotten along with Alyssa when they’d met, so who was to say she wouldn’t with Leliana too?
Hm, pretty much no. Everyone dreamed of death and destruction and essentially lived a waking nightmare everyday. Good ol’ Orange County. “I’ve yet to find someone who dreams of pleasant things,” Gale laughed. “She’s good with weapons, yeah.” So was he - he buried himself so deeply in his work, in his dreams, that he didn’t even notice the humanity seeping out of him. The last thing he wanted was for that to happen now.
He hoped Katniss and Leli got along - because he wanted to be involved in Katniss’s life, and not be shunned. Again. They had been through so much together, even in another reality. It felt poignant and real. “Anyway, I’ll introduce you sometime,” he promised. “But in the meantime, try to relax.” Gesturing around him, he indicated their Panem crew casually. “These are good people.”
Katniss looked up at the others, talking and laughing at the lakeside and swimming in the lake. She forced a smile and nodded, still finding herself very much on the periphery. She didn’t want to impose herself on people, didn’t want to assume that because they shared Dreams they shared a friendship. Why couldn’t she just let go of the guilt from the Dreams and enjoy her life here? “I know they are, I just don’t know if I am,” she admitted quietly.
“You are,” Gale promised fiercely, and he wasn’t going to let Katniss believe otherwise. Obviously, being partly stuck in the trauma of Panem was having an effect on her here - he supposed he couldn’t blame her for that, because remembering everything wasn’t easy, but he’d stick by her either way.
He swallowed another swig of beer, about as relaxed as he ever got these days. “Trust me when I say that. Trust yourself too. The rest will fall into place.”
He believed that. And he wasn’t going anywhere, so he had plenty of time to convince Katniss too - don’t underestimate him, he was very persuasive when he wanted to be.