Annie Cresta is one with the waves (lifeisastorm) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-09-17 09:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, annie cresta, finnick odair |
Who: Annie Cresta and Finnick Odair
What: Orange County taunts Annie by ways of Finnick
When: 27 August 2015, morning
Where: Random sidewalk
Warnings: Mentions of death
Status: Log | Complete
Annie should have known it wouldn’t last. She should have known that the dreams would decide to break her heart because they didn’t allow for happiness. Even if she wasn’t all that happy, things had been hopeful in them. But Finnick would fight against the Capitol. Fight so that the past never repeated, that there were no more Games and no more senseless killings. In the dream, he had gone on a mission and she had found out she was pregnant. She had been so excited to tell him. They were going to have a future. No more pain and death and suffering. Just creation and life. The things they had dreamt of, talked about late into the night.
Only she never got to tell him. Because in the cruelest twist of fate, the day she learned she was pregnant with his child was the day he died fighting for that future they were planning. That morning, Annie awoke crying and she didn’t even care that he wasn’t actually there. That she didn’t know him. The pain was still there and still real.
As much as she wanted to mourn the death of a dream husband and stay in, she couldn’t. While she didn’t have to go to the studio that day, Annie still had errands she needed to run. Which meant she had to try and appear that she was fine. Choosing a sundress, Annie wrapped her arms in ribbons, and then placed bracelets over said ribbons, the cord bracelet from the dreams last to go on. There were scars to cover, after all. Hair and makeup done and sandals slipped on, the brunette finally left the safety of her apartment and took a breath. She was fine.
Despite the fact that it would be a longer walk, Annie chose the path along the beach, letting the ocean waves soothe her. It was because she was lost in thought that she suddenly ran right into a body, causing her to stumble back.
“I’m so so--” And then she looked up and saw the person. Finnick. Eyes widening, Annie stumbled back with some minor flailing and hit a lamp post, arms going up as if to go into self defence mode and fight on reflex. This wasn’t happening. This could not be happening!
Finnick spent quite a lot of downtime on the beach. It was one of his favorite places to be when he wasn’t working. Then again, as a scuba instructor, work included time at the beach so really Finnick spent the majority of his time at the beach and he had the tan to prove it. He only had one client that day and it wasn’t until the afternoon so he’d decided to go for a quick run on the beach. Of course halfway through, he’d gotten distracted by watching the people who were actually on the beach itself and wishing that he had the time to spend laying out or just swimming, but that would have to wait until later. After his appointment. As he walked, his gaze still on the people on the beach, he wasn’t paying attention to anyone coming the opposite way, which was why he collided with a woman that he really should have seen coming. It wasn’t as if this part of the beach was extremely crowded at this time of the morning.
“Oh wow, I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going,” He smiled at the girl, but it slowly transformed into a slight frown as he noticed how shocked she looked as she moved away from him, “Uh, are you okay?”
Same voice. Same smile. Same everything. It hurt. It shouldn’t hurt so much. Finnick was nothing more than a figment from her dreams. A part of her soul that reached out when it got to be too much. The reason she wore the cord bracelet. Her breathing pitched and then she struggled to keep herself to calm down. Because really, causing a scene wasn’t going to do her any good.
Slowly she lowered her arms, even though she remained tense. She couldn’t help it. She was afraid. Afraid of her emotions. Afraid he’d show up on the network and start to remember. There was so much that she hadn’t even realised she felt, so much she brushed off as nothing more than the dreams, but he was here. Standing in front of her and breathing.
Annie then realised she had been quiet even as Finnick (it had to be him, the timbre of his voice and just how he held himself screamed Finnick) asked her a question and she could only nod mutely.
“I’m sorry. You just… look like someone I used to know.” That was an understatement. But it was the best she could do when this was someone who didn’t understand the network or the dreams. “It caught me off guard…”
When she didn’t answer right away, Finnick worried that something else was wrong and he wasn’t sure exactly what he should do to help her. When she finally did speak, he was relieved by her answer, but that still hadn’t explained her actions, “Oh. I’m guessing you don’t want to see this person?” It appeared that she was scared of the person she had mistaken him for or it was possible that they were dead and she’d thought she’d seen a ghost. That could elicit the same response, right?
“No… they’re someone I wouldn’t mind seeing again…” Only it was complicated because no one deserved the pain of the dreams, but what Finnick went through in them? And then dying? She didn’t wish that on him. Nor did she understand why she felt so strongly for someone of whom she had only dreamt of. It was stupid and ridiculous and yet… It was like a hole in her and she hated it.
The answer would imply that the person he reminded her of had died. Which he had. She had dreamt of it. It broke her heart in a way she hadn’t thought possible and of course he was now here in front of her.
“Um. Sorry. It’s fine. Really.”
God she felt awkward. It would be great to run and hide, but she knew she couldn’t. She had errands to run and she didn’t want to let this destroy her. She couldn’t let the anxiety and fear override her senses like they wanted to.
“I’m Annie.” So instead it would be forcing herself to respond like a normal person and introduce herself. As if she would ever run into him again. To him, it was probably a once in a lifetime run in. It wasn’t like they would see one another again. To Annie… she hoped beyond hope that he wouldn’t show up on the network, but she knew Orange County well enough now to know that what she wanted in this probably wouldn’t happen.
Finnick still didn’t know exactly what was going on here, but if she said that she was fine then he wasn’t going to press the issue, especially considering she was a stranger and he wasn’t sure of her mental state, “It’s nice to meet you, Annie. I’m Finnick. I’m sorry if I scared you before. I don’t usually get told that I took like someone else.” This would be the first time that it had happened and he supposed there was a first time for everything.
Slowly, very slowly she could feel her heart slow down. She could feel herself coming back to some sort of reality. The panic, the heartache, all of it was still there but they weren’t as overwhelming. Even as he introduced himself and wiped away any trace of doubt of who he was. That maybe he just looked like Finnick. No. She had known the second she saw but there had always been that part of her that said maybe, just maybe it was a coincidence.
“It’s not your fault. Just timing.” And a forced smile. Yes, she was mentally exhausted from Orange County in general, and in pain that she knew she needed to keep buried. But she wasn’t going to fall apart. She refused to. “I promise. I’m really sorry for that..” At least she no longer was in defensive mode.
Finnick was glad that she appeared to be calming down cause the last thing he wanted was for her to be scared of him, “I’m still sorry though that you can’t see this person that I reminded you of.” He was curious what sort of relationship she’d had with this person to cause the type of reaction that she’d had. “And that wasn’t totally your fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going either.”
The joys of the dreams, where someone could have a relationship with a person they had never met in person. Only to freak out when they run into them on the street. Would it have been a better reaction had she not just dreamt of his death? Where it reminded her of the Capitol and their games. Making the mockingjays scream with Finnick’s voice. Making her think he was dead, all to try and break her for information on the rebellion. It was hard enough that he had died, this time for real, only for him to show up in front of her. it was cruel in the way only Orange County could be.
So really, she had no idea how to respond to his apology since well, now he was standing right in front of her, talking to her. This person she thought she would never get to see. So she just nodded and brushed her hair behind her ear.
“It seems to be that sort of morning then.” The running into people from not paying attention to where they were going.
“Hopefully you aren’t on your way somewhere important.” As he said it, Finnick realized how careless that sounded, “I meant, hopefully you’re not on a tight schedule or anything. I wouldn’t want you to be late to wherever you’re going because of me.” He smiled down at her, crossing his arms over his chest.
So completely Finnick. It was official, she was probably going to self implode from everything that she was currently feeling. Which admittedly wasn’t a new sensation. It was just frustrating because she hated when she got thrown backwards in her coping. Not much she could do about it though and instead she just shook her head.
“No. I was just running errands, but nothing scheduled. You?”
Finnick shook his head, “Not keeping me from anything. I was just going for a quick run before my client this afternoon.” He was tempted to ask what sort of errands she was doing, but that seemed a bit personal for someone he’d just met.
“Client?” Anne knew that the term undoubtedly meant something completely different here as opposed to the dreams, there wasn’t a bitter twinge to the word, one of disgust. That was good. But it did still momentarily throw her to hear it from Finnick. So she tilted her head some in curiosity as she brushed some hair out of her face.
“I’m a scuba instructor. Have my own business and everything.” Finnick smiled, proud of the fact that he had managed to open his own business and the fact that it was doing fairly well made it even better, “Have you ever scuba dived before?”
And just as she should have known. It was something completely innocent. Her brain would stop jumping straight to the dreams soon enough now that she knew he was here and real and not a figment of her imagination wrought on by the pain of his death and her own issues when it came to acknowledging reality. She did smile though as she picked up on his pride for his business. And his own smile was contagious. “That sounds nice. But no, I can’t say I have ever been scuba diving before.”
“You’ll have to come by sometime then.” Finnick patted his pockets as he looked for his wallet and pulled out a business card when he found it, “Give us a call anytime and we can set up a time.” He smiled at her again as he put his wallet back, “I should let you get back to your errands now though.” He didn’t really want to let her go, but he also didn’t want to be that creepy guy who talked to the pretty girl too long.
“Maybe I will.” With a small smile, Annie took the card. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing, not really. Mostly following the flow of conversation, which was better than letting her head get in the way so that she kept making a fool of herself. “Oh. Right. Errands. Sorry about earlier.” God this was a complete mess. But she then nodded in farewell before she started back on her path, turning a corner out of sight and leaning against a wall with her eyes closed. She needed to breathe. Things had just got much more complicated.