Who: Harley and Helena What: Having a discussion regarding Pamela, then Harley goes all therapist on Helena. And then says those Three Little Words. When: Shortly after Helena met Pamela in person back in August Where: Harley’s Warnings: Mentions of mental torture and child death Status: Complete upon posting
To say that Helena was intrigued by Pamela may have been a slight understatement. She’d enjoyed meeting her in person, and the conversation they’d had. So clearly she needed to talk with Harley about it for more than one reason. So she headed over to Harley’s, wondering if she’d find her girlfriend entertaining another repair person in the bedroom or not.
Getting to Harley’s she went to the door and knocked. This time she waited to see if Harley came to answer the door before she went about poking her head in. There was a bit of a smirk on her lips.
Harley had only been home an hour or so. Her last session had canceled and she’d swung by a plant nursery on the way home. Something had possessed her to purchase a bonsai tree. Not that she had any idea how to care for one, but she was counting on Poison Ivy to help. Assuming the tree lived until then. Maybe she’d gotten ahead of herself.
So she answered the door with soil on her fingers and smudging her face. “Hey doll!”
Helena grinned as Harley answered. “Hello, love,” she greeted, then noticed the smudging on her face and arched a brow. “Are you doing some gardening or have you gotten that dirt on your face from some other activity?” That question may or may not have been suggestive in nature.
“Gardening! Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but I can think of a few things a certain someone could do with plants eventually. Maybe. If I’m lucky.” She was mostly joking. She doubted Pam would ever ‘abuse’ her precious plants that way, but a girl could dream. And look up rule34 art and animations about it.
Ooh now she just had to!
Helena chuckled. “Getting ahead of yourself or not, it is still valid, I believe. If I am assuming correctly you are speaking of Pamela?” It wasn’t hard to guess that, really. Helena had her own knack with plants, but she had a feeling Harley was indeed talking about Pamela. And, well, that was precisely whom Helena had come here to talk to Harley about.
“Guessed it in one!” Harley stepped aside, pulling Helena in and closing the door behind her. She immediately draped herself over H, soil and all.
She grinned a bit, slipping her arms around Harley as she draped herself over her, giving her a proper hello in the form of a kiss. “How are you doing?” First beginning with that, then they could into talking about Pamela.
“Haven’t been fired yet, so that’s a good sign.” Who wanted a crazy shrink? Well crazy people maybe. After all, she could understand them! “Managed to not go into work in full crazy makeup yet, so that’s probably why.”
“That is certainly an excellent sign. I would not want you to get fired from your job.” It was also probably a good sign that Harley still had some amount of self-control that her dreams hadn’t completely destroyed yet. “I have some news that you may like.” Smooth, Helena. Smooth.
Harley clapped her hands together and bounced in place excitedly. “You got me the entire Dallas Cowboys team and their cheerleaders?”
Okay with that response, Helena couldn’t help but to decide to play the guessing game. “Not quite. Potentially something better, though.” She was definitely baiting Harley to guess. She was curious if Harley would actually guess that she’d met Pamela in person.
“What could be better than that? Puppies? Did you get me puppies!” Harley was fooling around now, but part of her would have loved a box full of puppies to roll around with. Because puppies.
“No, not puppies,” she said with a smile. Though she did file that away for potential later use. “I met Pamela in person.” Might as well just reveal it now. Harley may have distracted herself with the puppies comment.
Harley froze, staring at Helena with wide eyes. Her voice was suddenly subdued. “...yeah? How did that go?” Was she worried? She was worried. Very worried. She thought that they’d get along, but there was always the chance they wouldn’t. And lets be real, Harley rarely had things go right for her.
“It went well, as a matter of fact. I am intrigued by her.” Helena definitely wanted to get to know Pamela better. She was an intriguing woman, not to mention intelligent. “I think that she and I may get along.” It all depended on how their differences fell into place, but so far, so good.
The sound Harley made sent her weiner dogs running. She glomped onto Helena and kissed her soundly. “I knew it I knew it I knew it! Isn’t she just a darling? And that’s even before the eco-terrorism!” She shouldn’t celebrate too soon, but honestly she just wanted her babe and her other babe to get along, they were her favorite people in the whole world.
Luckily for Harley, or perhaps luckily for herself, Helena caught Harley and managed to not fall over. She couldn’t help but to grin as she held onto her tightly. “She is, I rather like her already. Of course, it was only a first meeting, but it does indeed seem promising.” All things considered, they had gotten off to a good start.
“Promising first meetings are better than bad ones,” She pointed out. It was time to get herself under control and not let her hopes skyrocket. “But I’m happy cuz I wanted you to be friends since you both mean the world to me. Even though she doesn’t know it yet.”
“Precisely.” Helena smiled, lifting her hand to caress Harley’s cheek. “She’ll know it soon enough. Until then, you can give her new reasons to get to know you outside of the dreams.” There was no doubt in her mind that Pamela wouldn’t grow to like Harley, even without the knowledge of the dreams.
“Worried I’ll come on too strong, but she only really pretends to be a grump when I’m up to my antics.” It was one of those things that kept Harley sane some weeks. Knowing that there was one person who could accept her for who she was. Even if Harley didn’t always believe that she was worth being accepted.
“Just be yourself, that is the most important thing. Worrying about coming on too strong or trying to tone yourself down will only result in you not really being you. And that would be a disservice to both you and to her.” Helena then smiled. “Besides, how could she resist you? You are intelligent, beautiful, funny and highly irresistible.”
“PFffffffFFfffttttt.” Harley put her hand on Helena’s face and gently ‘shoved’ her. “Now you’re just buttering me up and talking nonsense.” The smile she gave Helena was bright enough to light up a room. This was what genuine happiness felt like. She cupped Helena’s face, and kissed her wetly on the mouth. “But I’ll take it!”
Helena couldn’t help but to chuckle as Harley gently ‘shoved’ her. She returned the kiss, loving the way Harley was smiling. That smile was electric and beautiful. And rather catchy because Helena’s own smile grew wide and bright, making her eyes sparkle. “I should hope you would take it. But I would still give you such praise regardless, love. It is all true.”
Setting aside Pammy, Harley shifted her focus fully onto Helena. She worried about her, ever since the paralysis. “And how have you been doing, dollface?”
With the attention turned to her, Helena had to actually focus on herself. She didn’t like dwelling on her problems, especially the dream-related ones. But she wasn’t about to lie to Harley about it. “My mental state seems to be stable at the moment. I haven’t had anymore dreams since the last one I mentioned. Though I am still not in my right mind, not completely.” Her dream self had been broken multiple times, and Helena had followed suit. Though unlike her dream self, she had a support network here. She had Harley and Svetlana. She wasn’t alone. And that made a difference.
“No one is ever completely in their right mind who’s in their right mind,” Harley suggested playfully. She pushed Helena into a chair and sank into her lap. “Why don’t you tell me all about it.”
After Harley sank into her lap, Helena slid her arms around her waist, thinking for some moments over it. “It is difficult to explain. When I was unable to move or speak for those couple days, I could feel myself losing it. Knowing you were here helped, but when I dreamt those nights, dreamt of my dream self being a conscious statue for over a century...I felt my mind cracking the way hers did. All she thought about was Christina’s death, watched that scene play out uninterrupted for that century. It broke her over and over again, and it twisted her until she embraced the anger and hate she felt. I can feel that anger, that hate. It burns in my heart and my soul, but I don’t know how to handle it. I have hated before, but not like this. This...this is something else entirely. I am afraid I am becoming my dream self. She does not hesitate to kill people. She is a sadist as well given the correct circumstances. And I know what she is planning to do.”
Harley let her girlfriend speak. It was her favorite technique. Often, it helped someone come to terms with their own thoughts. Putting them into words gave them a chance to really confront them. It also let Harley think about how to respond, and how to approach it. She rested a hand on Helena’s heart. “ Maybe dream you got twisted all around, but just because the branches get all snarly don’t mean the roots are bad. And remember, Christina is alive. You ain’t gotta worry about her. She’s safe.”
Helena looked at Harley, a sharp sadness within them that she’d been keeping to herself. She wasn’t good at expressing her emotions sometimes, especially sadness and pain. “My dream self firmly believes she is evil. She is so angry and alone and hurting and she doesn’t know how to handle it. No one ever showed her how to handle that level of grief, so she hid it.” She set a hand over Harley’s as it rested over her heart. “I remind myself of that every day, that Christina is safe. I wish I could see her, but it’s best that she is far away from right now.” And it was killing her to be away from her daughter like this, but it was the only to ensure Christina wasn’t harmed by any of this.
“Except for Mistah J, I ain’t never met no one that was totally evil,” Harley said. Her fingers twitched against Helena’s chest, but she didn’t tear her eyes away from her. “You aren’t evil. I’m sure there’s still a chance for her, if someone is willing to make the effort.” She leaned in, nudging their foreheads together. “I think maybe you should spend a day with Christina. Even if it’s just through skype. You need to remind yourself of the things that are worth livin’ for.”
Her gaze didn’t waver from Harley’s, but her emotions deepened at Harley’s words. Harley’s words meant more to her than she could ever really say. “I hope someone makes the effort because despite having made some really poor choices, she is also a victim. She was a victim of circumstance with her daughter being murdered. She is also a victim of torture from being a conscious statue for over a century. No one could come out of that experience and be completely unaffected by it.” And that was where a good amount of her anger came from. “I think that is a good idea. Perhaps I will set up a day on a weekend for a skype call.” But Christina was no longer the only thing worth living for. “Though Christina isn’t the only thing I have worth living for any longer. I have you as well.”
Something like that would drive even the most stable person insane. Most people couldn’t handle that. Harley wondered what she could have come out like if that had been her. Probably someone who could scare even the Joker. She flushed at Helena’s comment, and blinked away sudden wetness in her eyes. “Oh H….”
Harley kissed her, tender and sweet. “I’m gonna fuck up sometimes, but I love you.”
Helena savored the kiss, returning it with her own tenderness and sweetness. She couldn’t help but to smile even as she felt tears well up in her eyes. “You aren’t the only one who will mess up sometimes, what matters is how we work through it. I love you.” Helena slid her arms around Harley, hugging her close as she pressed another kiss to Harley’s lips. She liked the feeling of holding Harley close. It helped to center her.
Oh, god only knew what would be thrown in their direction. Harley wasn’t a particularly praying woman. She’d done and seen too much to ever believe, even if she really liked Christmas. (the cheer and the color and the presents and the decorating mostly). But she wanted to believe right now that they’d be okay. She melted into Helena’s arms and melted into her lips, languid and content like a cat.
If Helena had been afraid of loving and being loved before now, her fear now had become losing that love. She didn’t want to lose Harley, not when she’d finally found someone she could open up to and not feel judged for anything. Holding onto Harley, she deepened the kiss, a hand moving to the back of Harley’s head. After a few moments, she broke the kiss gently. “Thank you,” she whispered, her lips brushing against Harley’s as she said the words. It was gratitude for getting her to talk, for the patience, the love, all of it. Helena knew she was difficult on her best days, but Harley had just managed to get her to vocalize some of what was bouncing around in her head and in her heart.
“Any time, Helena.” Harley trailed her hand to her cheek, stroking lightly with her thumb. Her smile widened, and she joked. “Lucky for you I charge by the hour.”
Looking at Harley, she couldn’t help but to laugh at the joke. “What do I owe you for this session, doc?” She asked, carrying the joke on.
“Mmm.” Harley held up three fingers and smirked knowingly. “This is what you owe me.”
“Well then, I had better pay up. I don’t like leaving bills outstanding,” she responded with a smirk, one hand sliding along Harley’s leg. Helena leaned in and pressed a couple kisses to Harley’s neck. Helena was also perhaps going to include some interest on the payment, not because it was needed, but because she wanted to. She wanted to show Harley how much this meant to her, both the mutual love and getting her to talk. It was just easier for her to convey it through action than it was through words.