InsaneJournal

Who: Yue Katou and Finn Mikaelson
What: Katou's having trouble dealing with his addiction, goes to talk to someone.
When: Late July.
Where: Finn's work.
Rating/Warnings: Talking about drug addiction
Status: Complete When Posted



Katou had being doing pretty good with the whole kicking his heroin habit thing. Though the cravings came, he was pretty good at holding them back. He hadn't touched the junk in two months, and he was actually feeling happy. Things were really looking up for him. He'd been doing pretty good with just himself and the occasional NA meetings.

He had made it to where he was mostly because of the Dreams. And it was because of his Dreams that he had decided that maybe it was time he came to talk to a professional about it. They'd taken a turn for the worst, and ever since he had dreamed Kira had died, it was all he could do to not find a way to numb the pain. And so here he was, in the waiting room of some lame rehabilitation centre, leaning back in the chair in his most casual, devil-may-care posture, and rolling a pick on top of his knuckles like he didn't have a care in the world.

When Finn had first taken the job at the rehab clinic, his siblings had been worried that it wouldn’t be good for him to be around people who had been in similar situations to his own, but he had thought it would be the exact opposite. Before he’d moved back to Orange County Finn had spent a lot of time in various programs, helping others who had been in the same place he’d been so becoming a rehab counselor had felt like the right path for him and he was enjoying it.

He would admit that every now and then he was tempted to compel various patients to simply not do whatever they had been doing, but that would be cheating and he wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors if he did that.

He’d had two patients that morning and his third was a new one who he was looking forward to talking to. He was making notes on his last patient’s file when he was informed that his new patient had arrived and he told the secretary to let him in.

When Katou walked into the office, he was momentarily taken aback, though it only took him a couple of seconds to recognize the man who was sitting there. Once he recognized him as the man who Wendy had switched bodies with during Easter, his face broke into a wide, wolfish grin. For one, knowing that this dude had to deal with Orange County weirdness made the whole dream thing more explainable. He had concocted a whole story about how he had just watched his friend die in a car accident, but for once he would actually rather tell the truth than lie through his teeth. And while it might have had something to do with growing up on the streets, he was also pretty pleased to have some dirt on the guy who he might be sharing some of his secrets with.

Without so much as a by-your-leave, Katou plopped down in the chair that he assumed was meant for patients and made himself comfortable. “I know you,” he said, still grinning. “Why on earth would a vampire wanna work with a bunch of junkies?”

While Katou might recognize Finn or at least his body, Finn did not have the slightest idea who he was or how he knew that he was a vampire. While Finn didn't shy away from the fact that he was a vampire he also didn't talk about it often on Valarnet unless he had to and he also didn't know Wendy's roommates. He hadn't stuck around her apartment very long once he's woken up in her body because he needed to go to his own place to explain the whole vampire thing to Wendy when he's finally found out who was in his body.

Unsure of exactly what to say at first, Finn stared at the kid for a moment before finally deciding that it was best to not deny it. If he needed to, he could compel him after all, "Are you a dreamer?"

"Got it in one," Katou said, reaching into the knee pocket of his cargo shorts and pulling out a bag of Hershey's Kisses. "And I go these badass psychic powers, so I can like, read your mind." He only paused for a second to gauge the Finn's facial expression, before adding "Naw, I'm just fucking with you. I live with Wendy." He popped a Kiss into his mouth. "Anyway, I ain't never done nothing like this before. What'm I supposedta do here?" He didn't cringe outwardly, keeping his same calm posture and bored tone of voice, but he kind of felt as though he was rambling, and that wasn't doing much to improve his nervousness.

Finn wasn’t exactly phased when Katou said that he had psychic powers, considering the various things that he’d seen both in the real world and in his dreams over the last two years. Of course he understood as soon Katou said he was a friend of Wendy’s, “And you saw her as me.” Sitting up straight, Finn pulled Katou’s file closer, “What do you want to talk about?” With most of his patients, Finn would check in on their progress, but Katou was new so he liked to let his new patients begin by talking about whatever they wanted at first.

Katou gave a bit of a cough to clear his throat, and fidgeted a bit in his seat. He ate another chocolate, and then pulled a quarter out from his pocket to roll across his knuckles, so as to stop himself from doing something even more telling like rubbing his arms or his neck. “Well, I used to do a lotta drugs. Like, a lot,” which almost sounded like a brag and he realized a little late that that was probably the wrong tone of voice. He cleared his throat again. “Me and Mr. Brownstone were ‘specially tight. Anyway, I uh… quit using around two and a half months ago, and it’s been alright but now it’s,” he searched for the words, and then eventually had to admit that they probably weren’t coming, “not alright.”

Finn listened as Katou began speaking. He had a notepad that he would keep notes in to then keep in the patient’s file, but he wasn’t writing anything just yet, “Why did you quit? Was it your choice or someone else’s?” Finn knew a lot about interventions considering his parents had tried one on him shortly after his overdose, which had then turned into his father giving him an ultimatum. “And what has happened recently to make things not alright?” He wondered if Katou had relapsed since quitting.

“Naw, it was me. I moved in with my buddies Jack and Wendy which was alright. No drugs in the house,” not a rule that Katou followed to the exact letter of the rule, but he had only used in Wendy’s house once, “but they didn’t tryta make me quit or nothing. Just uh, took care of me I guess.” Having people looking out for him and trying to take care of him was something he was only now getting used to. “And then I died in my dreams and kinda got pissy. But then I died again, and I realized I didn’t wanna die being no fuck-up that everyone’d forget about and no one would mourn. So I turned it around, I guess.” He shrugged. “Anywho, I just dreamed that my best friend died. I mean, I think he died. He’s supposedta be immortal but I uh… woke up with his sword. And the kid I’m supposeta be protecting in my dreams shut me out and I gotta spend the last few minutes of my dream listening to him being tortured.” Or, he assumed tortured. Those weren’t screams of pleasure that he heard, that was for sure.

Finn listened, nodding as Katou spoke. He understood, all too well what it felt like to come to that conclusion that you didn’t want to die. For Finn it had been after his overdose, just after the intervention his parents had tried on him. “And you’re tempted to use again to numb the pain that the dreams have caused?” He could understand that too. After he’d become a vampire, he’d thought about it a few times, knowing that as a vampire the drugs likely wouldn’t have the same effect on him as they had before, but all he’d ended up doing was getting drunk a few times.

Katou's head snapped toward Finn, and he stared at him with a surprised look in his eyes. A lot of people thought Katou did drugs to feel good, and that was the reason most of his former friends had used (at least the ones who could still feel normal without drugs used them to feel good), but for Katou it had always been a case of using so he wouldn't feel anything.

"Y - Yeah," he stuttered, a little taken aback. If he was being completely honest, he hadn't really expected some vampire sitting in an office to really get it. He popped another Kiss into his mouth. "Hit the nail on the head, Doc. I’ve been take care of the cravings for the last while with chocolate, working out, and booze and smokes, and playing my guitar and shit like that,” Katou was actually a little startled about how in shape he was getting and how much he had improved at the guitar the last couple of months, “but that ain’t really doing the trick right now.”

“I know all too well how using can help to numb the pain of certain situations, but the problem is still there when it wears off and it only leaves us wanting more.” Finn didn’t pretend that he had never done drugs. He had always thought that being honest about his past was the best way to help others. He knew what they were going through and who were they more likely to listen to; someone who had no idea how it felt or someone who had been in the same place at one time in their life? “It’s one of the many reasons most people continue to use and don’t want to stop. We don’t want to feel that pain if we know there is a way to stop it momentarily.”

“Vampires can get high?” Katou asked, raising an eyebrow, and then he shook his head. “Wait, dumb question. They get drunk in The Lost Boys don’t they?” he didn’t have the clearest memories of that movie, since he’d probably been high when he had watched it, but he seemed to remember a big party at some point.

He sighed and leaned back in the chair, choosing to look at the ceiling instead of at Finn. “Yeah,” he said. “I mean, I guess I’ve had it pretty easy since I quit. I lost a buncha my friends, but they weren’t real friends anyway. I’ve been surrounded by better ones both here and in the Dreams, so I guess this is like, the first actual shitty thing that’s happened to me since I quit. It feels if I’m going to be fucking useless anyway, I might as well not feel like shit while doing nothing.”

“I wasn’t always a vampire.” It was hard for Finn to think that he’d only been a vampire for a little under a year. Sometimes it felt like much longer, but then again he’d been dreaming about being one for some time now, “When I was younger, probably around your age, I did my fair share of drugs.” While he had been tempted just after turning, Finn was glad that he’d had the willpower to not go down that road again, “Do you feel useless because you couldn’t help your friend in your dreams?”

“Oh. Right. Duh,” Katou said, rubbing the back of his head and feeling properly abashed. Obviously Finn had been human at one point. “But yeah, I feel pretty useless for not being able to help my friend there. But even over here… I mean, it’s not like I’m doing much with my life. I got Wendy and Jack looking out for me and taking care of me and shit - which is fucking weird, by the way - but I don’t got nothing important going on.”

Finn understood that as well. Around the time he’d started doing drugs, he’d been taking college classes, but he was doing more because it was expected of him as the oldest son and less because he knew what he wanted to do with his life, “What do you want to do? Is there one thing you’ve always wanted to do? Something you could put your time and focus into?” That was what had ultimately happened when Finn had started working with anti-drug groups. He’d wanted to make sure that others wouldn’t go down the same road that he had.

Katou shrugged. "I dunno. I've always kinda liked music. Playing the guitar and shit like that. But it ain't like I'm ever gonna be able to do that with my whole life." Katou had no illusions when it came to a punk band making enough money to live off of. Even the lead singer of Bad Religion, arguably one of the most successful punk bands out there, had a job as some professor or something. "Besides, I don't think nothing I could do here could even compare to my dreams. Don't get much more important than Guardian-slash-Champion of the Messiah.” He frowned, chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip before deciding that he had come all this way to get some counselling or whatever the hell was supposed to be going on here, so he might as well just come out with it. “You ever get that? Feeling like there’s no way you can ever measure up to your dreams?”

“You don’t need to do it your whole life. You only need something to focus on for the moment. Something to take your mind off everything else.” Finn would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to compel Katou to either forget about the bad part of his dreams or to forget about the drugs, but again, that’d be cheating and he wasn’t about to go there. “Well, in my dreams I’m currently working with my mother to try and convince my siblings to let her put them into mortal bodies. I’m not exactly the biggest fan of my dream self to be honest.”

Katou frowned to himself, thinking. “I dunno, that’s kinda what I’ve been trying to do. Keep focused on like, school and working out and shit, but it ain’t working so well now. There ain’t no secret trick that people keep under wraps, is there?” He frowned a little at Finn’s explanation of his dreams. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he had dreamed of a Katou he didn’t particularly like, though he guessed that wasn’t much different to how he had been living his life in the first place. Maybe he’d be a super junkie or something. “Like, not vampires anymore? I thought that was generally considered a good thing in all them vampire stories I’ve heard.”

Finn shook his head, “No, there is no secret. You simply have to want it.” And Finn believed that Katou really did want to kick his habit completely. And he believed that he could do it as well. “Except that we were possessing the bodies of witches. While we got a second chance, they lost themselves unless we were forced out.” Finn didn’t like the fact that they had taken over other bodies, but in the dreams he had no qualms about it whatsoever.

“I do want it,” Katou muttered. He wanted it a lot. He wanted to make Jack and Wendy proud. He didn’t want either of them to pity him, or think badly of him. He wanted to be good enough to be friends with them. And more than that, he didn’t want to waste his life away chasing the dragon. When he died, he wanted to have lived the kind of life where he made an impact on people’s lives. He wanted people to mourn him, just a little bit. He didn’t want his life to vanish meaninglessly. “Guess this is probably one of them reasons they tell kids not to do drugs in the first place anyway.”

He raised his eyebrows at the whole witch thing. “Ah, so they’re mortal bodies that are already occupied. I can uh… see how that might put a damper on things. Hopefully dream you comes to his senses, yeah?”

Finn nodded, “Probably. But it is possible to overcome it. You just have to take it one day at a time. You can’t expect it all to happen overnight. Unlike some things.” He was referring to the fact that he’d pretty much become a vampire overnight, but he didn’t elaborate, “Exactly. It’s her attempt at fixing what she did to us, but we’re obviously not using common sense. Only thinking what’s best for us and our survival.”

“That would be nice,” Katou sighed, and leaned back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. “Well, I guess I got my fight in my dreams, and I’ve got my fight here.” Even if the fight in his dreams was far more interesting than lying in bed at night shovelling chocolate down his gullet and playing his guitar with the headphones in. “Thanks for the chat, Doc. Hopefully your dreams turn out for the best.”

“Feel free to come see me anytime.” Finn took one of his cards and stood, walking around to hand it to Katou. He hoped the boy would come see him again or call him if things for hard, because he really wanted him to succeed. He wanted all his patients to succeed, but sometimes he felt a stronger connection to some more than others. “And I hope so too.”