Cosima Niehaus doesn't talk about Clone Club (geekmonkey) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-08-14 14:14:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, cosima niehaus, jemma simmons, martha jones |
Who: Jemma, Cosima and Martha
What: Cosima has another dream and her illness gets worse.
When: 14 August early morning
Where: Jemma’s apartment
Warnings: Coughing up blood, convulsions/seizure
Things were getting real in the dreams now. Sarah had found Doctor Duncan, their creator, and convinced him to come help because Cosima was sick. To say it was an honor to have met Duncan was an understatement. She thought he was a brilliant man, and a good man. Even for what DYAD had turned Project LEDA into, she liked Duncan.
However, they had little time for chat as they had to get to work cracking his code so they could figure out how to cure Cosima. And, of course, cure any of her sister-clones that were or would in the future become ill. But it was short-lived because Cosima had another cough attack, only this one featured quite a bit of blood pooling out of Cosima’s mouth and she went into convulsions.
And Cosima woke up with some breathing issues. She couldn’t tell if she woke up because of how the dream left off or if because she couldn’t breathe. Sitting up, she was already unable to breathe deeply, and she was rasping. Then came a hack-type cough, followed by a second one. At which point she pushed the covers away in an attempt to stumble her way to the bathroom. However, the moment her feet touched the floor, she coughed again, this time quite a bit of blood streamed out of her mouth, landing on her legs, some of the sheets and the floor.
And then Cosima simply collapsed onto the floor, knocking her glasses and whatever else was on the nightstand off as she went into convulsions, some blood still trickling out of her mouth.
Ever since Cosima had started coughing up blood from the dreams, Jemma had been worried. Because when it came to dream related illnesses, there was even less she could do. And it also meant she was getting less restful sleep than before, just in case Cosima needed her help. By now they were alternating flats just because it was easier that way. For once, she hadn’t woken up from a dream, though it wasn’t as if the strain wasn’t there. The bickering, the blame, the further alienation. But she put up with it and just did her job. It was all she really could do at the moment.
So when Cosima started coughing, Jemma woke up. First she just pushed herself up and looked to the clock to see what time it was though she was definitely worried about the sound of the coughing.
Or Cosima could fall on the ground convulsing.
“Cosima!”
And just like that, Jemma crawled/flung herself over the bed to keep Cosima from hurting herself. With her on the floor, she just grabbed a pillow for her head and started timing the length of the convulsions. It was really hard to stay calm but right now that was what was needed. She would freak out later. Also? She needed to know if this was dream related, so while she kept an eye on the clock, Jemma grabbed her phone and did a message to Felix and Sarah asking about if Cosima had started convulsing in the dreams.
Yes, Jemma was able to do medical procedures just fine, but it wasn’t her area of expertise. But for now, breathing to stay calm while ensuring Cosima didn’t hurt herself and timing the length of the convulsing so she could give the proper time to Martha.
The convulsing was undoubtedly terrifying to watch. It was hard to tell if Cosima was actually conscious or not during it. Either way, her muscles contracted and relaxed almost violently, and her eyelids fluttered a bit. The symptoms that Jemma could see no doubt lined up with a grand mal seizure, save for the fact blood was coming out of Cosima’s mouth. Blood wasn’t typically associated with grand mal seizures or convulsions, unless Cosima had bitten her tongue. Saliva and vomit were more associated with them. But given the coughing she’d done right before going into the convulsions, it would stand to reason, eventually, this was a result of her illness.
Dream-related, yes, but also signified her illness was progressing and the methods of treatment she’d been on weren’t working any longer.
All in all, the convulsing lasted a little shy of two minutes before they stopped, leaving Cosima in a heap on the floor. Her body began to relax, but mentally she wasn’t there yet. Cosima was unconscious and remained that way for a little longer, though slowly she started to come to. First her eyes opened, and she tried to groan, but it came out more like a gurgle. There was obviously still some liquid of some sort caught in her throat that needed to come out.
Once she was able to, Jemma had managed to get Cosima onto her side to help with breathing and started to work on getting whatever liquid that was in her throat to come out. All the while she kept herself calm and focused. If anything, it was the only thing keeping her calm. Having to take care of Cosima so that she couldn’t let her mind drift to worse case scenarios. No. She was going to need to stay focused and help Cosima.
After she was certain whatever had been caught in Cosima’s throat had been dislodged and it seemed that she was more to and able to sit up, Jemma just eased her girlfriend into a sitting position, lips tight as she checked for replies before looking back to Cosima.
As Cosima slowly came back into herself, she was only mildly aware that something had happened. Everything was a blur, really. Though once the last of the blood or whatever had been dislodged from her throat, Cosima at least had an easier time breathing.
Sort of.
Okay, not really. Suddenly it felt like her airways had permanently restricted themselves, and it wasn’t easy to breathe. Once Jemma helped her sit up, Cosima was aware enough to recognize where she was. She looked at Jemma, her eyes starting to focus better than they had been.
“What happened?” She asked, still trying to breathe. Though she was at least trying for slow breaths instead of making herself hyperventilate over it. But she was suddenly scared all over again that she was dying.
Okay, Cosima was able to focus and ask what happened. This would be fun, and by fun, it really wasn’t. Because Jemma knew she would have to keep Cosima calm and after what had just happened? She doubted that would be easy. So instead, she just took her girlfriend’s wrist and started to take her pulse.
“It seems you had a grand mal seizure.”
Science. Doctor mode. It was almost reflex to slip into this mode. Even in the dreams, it was easier for Jemma and while before Fitz often was the one to point out when she was too enthusiastic about science and forgetting the human aspect or evening her out, this was something she knew. Something she could do. Which meant that her voice was calm, using simple language just to ensure Cosima understood as she didn’t know exactly how dazed she might still be.
“Focus on my breathing.”
Because that would also help Cosima with her breathing and focusing on that.
It was difficult to focus. She felt extremely dazed and confused, but that was to be expected given what had just happened. She was, more or less, a ragdoll, moving only when Jemma moved her. In fact, she leaned heavily against Jemma.
But Jemma was correct, using simple language was best right now. Her brain was trying to catch back up, to right itself after the seizure. But until it got there, she was slow and going to have difficulty understanding. Even though she could understand strict medical and scientific terminology, it was a different story at the moment.
“Seizure,” she repeated. That definitely explained why she felt the way she currently felt. She gave a slight nod and started to focus on Jemma’s breathing, trying to breathe with her. It was only partially working. Cosima could tell something was very wrong.
“I think...something’s wrong,” she said slowly. Okay yes, bleeding obvious given the seizure, but she meant something else was wrong. “My...chest.” Which was as much clarification as she could give since she couldn’t tell if it was her lungs or her airway or something else.
“Yes. A seizure.” Jemma might be competitive, but she could also be patient, especially right now. With her pulse noted, she just focused on trying to help Cosima with what was happening, all the while feeling as if she would just fail her as she apparently had failed Fitz. It wasn’t the same, it wasn’t hypoxia and brain damage, but it was still… the thoughts were banished as Cosima mentioned that something was wrong.
That was an understatement. But she could tell it was more than that. Well, that was the decision then.
“I will take you to my work. We have a doctor there who focuses on dream related illness and injury.”
Because with change in Cosima’s DNA sequence, an actual hospital wouldn’t work. Pulling out her mobile, she rang Martha, waiting until the phone was answered.
“Martha? Can you meet me at your medical facility? I have someone with a dream related illness and she needs to be looked at right away.” Honestly, if necessary, Jemma would just get a better look at Cosima there on her own, but at least letting Martha know was polite, and having someone actually trained as a doctor would be helpful.
Making that medical file on Cosima after she had first gotten sick had been a very good idea as she would be able to fill in the blanks for Martha. She would also take Cosima’s pulse once they got there.
Martha had been at home when her phone rang and she picked it up right away when she saw that it was Jemma cause it was possible that it was Agency related, even if they didn’t work in the same department. Hearing the reason she was calling, Martha agreed to meet her and headed straight for the Agency. Not knowing exactly what to expect, she’d gotten ready as best she could and texted Jemma to let her know that she was there and ready when she got there with whoever it was that she was bringing in.
Cosima merely nodded in response to Jemma. She logically knew she needed a doctor, so she wasn’t even going to fight going to one. She had more immediate problems with trying to breathe. It seemed to be difficult to get air into her lungs. Though of note to Jemma when she took Cosima’s pulse was that her heart rate was a bit rapid. But otherwise she seemed physically fine. She’d managed to not hit her head when she’d collapsed, and Jemma’s quick action had prevented her from harming herself during the seizure.
While that was good, it was not necessarily comforting given Cosima’s illness. Whatever may have triggered the seizure was obviously internal and a signal her illness was progressing faster than anticipated. Was it hurried along by her rapid dreams? Or was this simply how the illness progressed? It was difficult to tell.
Needless to say, Cosima wasn’t moving until Jemma was ready to get her moving. She may still somewhat be out of it, but Cosima wasn’t stupid enough to try and stand up under her own power right now.
Used to dealing with unruly patients in her dreams, Jemma was relieved that Cosima was staying put. Worried? Oh yes. But until she had a moment to actually think and leave her current doctor mode, she was just thankful that Cosima was sitting. As such she thanked Martha before helping her girlfriend up.
Grabbing her purse, which had the flash drive with the work she’d been doing to try and help Cosima, she drove them to the Agency, receiving Martha’s text once they were parked. Getting Cosima out of the car, Jemma swiped her card, got inside and headed straight to the medical floor to where Martha was waiting.
“Thank you. Again. Martha, this is Cosima. Cosima, this is Martha.” Once certain Cosima would be fine sitting, Jemma then went and printed the medical file that included the clone aspect, the change in biology, the symptoms both known from dreams and had been happening in the past few weeks and whatever else she could come up. As she handed the file to Martha she also gave her the time of seizure (two minutes) as well as the pulse she had taken right after.
Martha had to admit, being able to come in if there was an emergency and not have tons of people under foot, like she would at the hospital was kind of nice. She was enjoying her time at The Agency and the things she was getting to do with her knowledge from the dreams and it would be much easier to help those with injuries or illnesses from the dreams without having to make up a report on them.
That was one reason Martha had agreed to help Jemma and her girlfriend, so that they wouldn’t have to go to the hospital and make up a reason she was sick. When the two women appeared in the room, Martha moved across the room to meet Jemma, “It’s no problem. Hi, Cosima.” She gestured to the examine table, “Want to have a seat?” When Jemma brought Martha the papers she’d printed, Martha started scanning them, her brows raising slightly as she glanced up at Cosima, “Cloning?”
Cosima may have been unruly if she’d been feeling herself. But as it was, she was still dazed and not having the wherewithal to do anything but comply with what Jemma said. The drive to the Agency at least allowed Cosima to come back to herself more, to the point that she could communicate better once they arrived.
“Hey, Martha,” Cosima responded as she gave a half-hearted little wave as she sat on the examining table. She just waited silently until Martha had the files she needed with relevant information. It was time during which Cosima was trying not to freak out. Especially considering it was still difficult for her to breathe easily. She was just trying to keep her breathing even and slow, trying to keep herself from getting overtaxed and hyperventilate. That would no doubt cause more problems so soon after a seizure. At Martha’s question, she looked up at her and nodded slightly. Her head was starting to hurt, no doubt a headache brought on from the seizure.
“Yeah. In my dreams, I’m one of several clones. My dream self got sick with a clone-related illness. Then I got it a couple weeks back.” She paused, closing her eyes and trying to not let herself think about how she was probably dying. “I had a dream and my dream self went into convulsions. Or perhaps it was a seizure. The minute I woke up, I had a seizure.” She drew in a slow breath. “Clearly my illness is progressing.”
Jemma remained quiet as Cosima explained, arms crossed as she stood off to the side. She didn’t have much in way of potential help. She’d come in at nights, usually at Stark to keep from worrying people, to try and get some research done, but so far it hadn’t done her much good. So for now, it was standing off to the side.
She hated feeling useless. And it was times like these where she really missed Fitz. She didn’t care that they were at odds in the dreams right now. She just wanted her best friend there. Because she wasn’t naive, her thought process was similar to Cosima’s. There was a very good chance that she was dying and she didn’t know how to stop it. She would do all she could to try but that didn’t mean she wasn’t currently feeling helpless, even as she kept it all inside and just seemed the worried girlfriend.
Had Martha not been a dreamer and had she not seen quite a lot of crazy things in her dreams she would have thought that Jemma and Cosima were having her on, but after everything that had happened over the last two plus years, she couldn’t just shrug it off. She was far too intrigued and the doctor in her wanted to do whatever she could to help Cosima.
“Alright. So, you had a seizure tonight?” She close the file and set it down as she moved around the room, turning on various machines. Some were regular machines that were in any hospital, but some were machines exclusive to the Agency that she had learned to use over her short time at the Agency.
Cosima was more than aware of how crazy being a human clone was in a world where cloning was still in its infancy at best. But she was thankful that Martha at least understood the dreams could show them crazy things and didn’t press the cloning issue further. After all, there were far more pressing matters at hand.
“Yeah. It may have been brought on by the dream I had, for I had one in my dream right before waking up. Though in the dream, there was more than a bit of blood coming out of my mouth right before and during the seizure. I think there was blood coming from my mouth during this seizure as well?” Cosima looked over at Jemma for confirmation. She thought there was, but her brain had been too jumbled to really notice. “But considering I had a seizure after waking up, I’m willing to bet it means my illness is progressing.” And then she coughed and gasped a little for air.
“There was some blood, yes.” It was amazing how she slipped into doctor mode, but it was also her only saving grace for her sanity at the moment. So instead she remained silent then looked to Martha, “Is there anything I can get for you that might be needed?” Something in a supply closet? Somewhere she could momentarily break down before coming back and being put together? Because really, that would be great. She needed to keep it together for Cosima, so getting a chance to get away to pull herself together? Yeah. So being trying to find a way to be helpful.
Martha was extremely curious about what was causing whatever was wrong with Cosima and she was looking forward to starting her examination. However, when Jemma spoke she recognized that the other woman needed a moment, “You could go get a gown just in case I need to do a more extensive exam.” She doubted that she’d need it, but it would give Jemma an excuse to leave the room if she needed it.
If Cosima wasn’t still mentally out of it from the seizure, she would probably be more upset about the whole thing. As it was, her own freak out would come later, once she was more herself and not having to divulge information to Martha. And due to her dreams, she had a good idea of what was causing this. She must have the polyps on her lungs. The same ones that Jennifer had had in the dreams. Jemma was aware of that, she’d told her about that when she’d had the dream of watching the videos.
It only made the entire situation that much more sad and desperate. If they couldn’t find a cure, Cosima would die. Without a cure, there was no if regarding dying. There was only a when in that situation.
Right. The polyps. Well, that was something to let Martha know.
“I’ll go get one. I know in the dream there were polyps on the lungs of one of the clones who had gotten sick. So that may be a starting point. I’ll be right back.”
Shooting a reassuring smile to her girlfriend, Jemma then excused herself from the medical area to find a gown to put on just in case she was needed. It was only once she was first in the bathroom to wash her hands from the blood that she started to cry, scrubbing desperately as if doing so would somehow make the illness leave Cosima. Which was crazy talk.
“Calm down. It will all be fine. Breathe….” Struggling to catch her breath, Jemma flashed water on her face and paced a bit until she once again appeared put together, then dried her hands and face, found a gown and returned to the medical area where Martha and Cosima were. Everything would work out. There was just no other option.