Jemma Simmons is a terrible liar (needanewplan) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-07-21 13:52:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, jemma simmons, peggy carter |
Who: Jemma Simmons and Peggy Carter
What: Discussing mutually shared dream jerks. Effing Hydra.
When: 20 June 2015, evening
Where: Random pub
Warnings: Uh...Hydra talk?
Status: Log | Complete
Honestly, Jemma wasn’t exactly sure why she had reached out to Peggy about the latest dream. Well, no, she did in her own way. It had been curiousity on if the other woman remembered anything about the man who had been a source of near constant horror for Jemma while undercover. Bakshi had been the more immediate threat, but she knew of Whitehall. And when she had seen his photo in the original files for the Obelisk…. not to mention the research she had done on it? It had been startling. (Okay and she had gotten to hold a file Peggy Carter herself had handled, which was quite thrilling). What she hadn’t anticipated was the suggestion that they go get drinks.
So here she was after work. A nearby proper British pub for a conversation that Jemma had no idea how it would turn out. Still, she was put together and after all the stress from her dreams as of late, a drink did sound like it would be a good idea.
As she walked in and looked for the Director, Jemma had a sudden thought… had she been told about Hydra being inside of SHIELD? Maybe drinks would be necessary after all.
Anytime the mention of Hydra from her dreams was brought up the need to drink was immediate for Peggy. It was an organization that was a constant headache for her in and out of the dreams and she hated not being able to do anything about it properly. What was worse was when people she cared about were affected by them as well. Jemma was a sweet girl and she wanted to protect her as much as she could from them, but obviously she wasn’t able to do that. So the next best thing she could do was offer up drinks as a way to soften the blow.
Reinhardt was a name she remembered from her dreams, but the moment she had sent the man to rot in the Rat all those years ago she had forgotten about him. It didn’t bode well that Jemma knew that name because it meant that Hydra had figured out a way to get around the SSR lockup. With a sigh Peggy made her way into the pub, spotted Jemma, and made her way over to her, “How are you, dear? I hope I haven’t made you nervy by mentioning that we need drinks to have this kind of proper discussion.”
And that explained why Jemma hadn’t spotted Peggy yet, as it seemed that they had arrived around the same time. One less thing to worry about. After all, she really wouldn’t have wanted to keep Peggy waiting. Admittedly, she did jolt some as Peggy came up beside her as she’d been looking in the opposite direction but she smiled and shook her head.
“Director, hello. I’m.. well, I’m okay. And no, not at all. This.. probably might be a better place to talk as it is. Yourself? I’m sorry if the name startled you.”
That or the office where people understood things like Hydra and SHIELD and things that made no sense. But it wasn’t as if they were going to have people listening in on their conversation. At least, Jemma couldn’t see why anyone would find them interesting to eavesdrop on for malicious intentions. As much as she was used to looking over her shoulder now from the dreams, she couldn’t think of a reason why it would be necessary here.
Because really. Having to explain that a man Peggy had put away had gotten out, changed his name and had taken over the American Hydra base after Pierce had died. Not exactly an easy conversation. Especially as Jemma didn’t have the harddrive from her dreams with the intel she had gotten. Perhaps it would show up later, she had gotten one with everything she had dreamt of up until the Hydra reveal.
“Oh, dear, you don’t have to call me Director outside of work. I’m just plain Peggy Carter outside those walls. And don’t worry about startling me, it just wasn’t a name I expected to hear outside of the dreams. I don’t believe anyone else here has run into him,” Peggy admitted to her with a small smile. She really wasn’t horribly startled, just concerned that Jemma knew the name. Being involved with Hydra, even knowing the names of members, wasn’t something she wished upon anyone. Okay, maybe it made her a little nervous that those certain people would appear just by speaking their name aloud.
If anyone were to eavesdrop on their conversation Peggy would know. Certainly one of the benefits of being a trained spy and she would be able to switch the conversation to something else and hopefully not have Jemma become concerned. She was more than happy to speak about this thing in public thought because it would sound like they were speaking complete gibberish to outside parties. At work someone would probably understand their conversation and the last thing she wanted to do was raise concern for anyone.
“What would you like to drink?” Peggy leaned over the bar slightly to flag down the nearest bartender. A drink in hand would make this conversation go a lot smoother and she leaned back once she had been acknowledged, “Are you enjoying the Agency so far? I want to make sure everyone who works for me is happy there.”
“Of course Dire--Peggy.” Well it was a start. Goodness knew that Jemma often slipped into formalities because it was how she was. Bobbi had to correct her on that back on base since she would slip and say Agent Morse. It was a sign that she was still her though, that despite everything she’d been through in the dreams, undercover at Hydra, the self hatred and survivor’s guilt, that it hadn’t all been lost. “Though no, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone who would have known him on the network…”
Thank goodness Peggy was a trained spy. The trick would be for Jemma to follow suit. She was better at lying, half truths, specific words. But her and improvisation still didn’t go together. Not really. But it really would sound like jibberish to most people. Not that her second comment was reassuring. Because why would people other than Jemma know who were there as the man was supposed to be a footnote in a file? Fun times that.
“Hmm. Oh. Um, Old Speckled Hen? I think I noticed it on draft.” Yes Jemma could indeed just drink a proper pint. Because really. Though the question about working at the Agency did seem to perk her up some. “I love it. It’s familiar enough, but it looks into things most companies wouldn’t be.” Like the strangeness. Yes, they had to often cover it up and come up with cover stories, but it was still something. Especially as there was never a lack of things to research on her end.
Jemma was a good person, so it just made Peggy grin as she did her best to remember to address her by first name. It would take some time, something Peggy didn’t mind, and she knew it had taken her time back when she was working with MI6 to get comfortable addressing her superiors by first name, “I know a few people from the SSR back in the day, but none of those people are on the network. So I’m glad it’s just between the two of us. I’m sorry he startled you so badly.”
It was never nice to be startled by something in the dreams because then it seemed to follow you for a long time before you could shake it. It might not be real in this world, but it still felt incredibly real. And if Jemma kept along with the Agency for a while she would eventually be able to help her with her improvisation skills and there was always the potential for field work if she wanted that.
“Perfect,” the bartender finally made his way over to them and she ordered two pints before turning back to Jemma and listening to her explain how much she enjoys the Agency. It brought another smile to her face and seemed to relax her. Tensions had been high with the various incidents around the OC, so knowing that people working for her were enjoying it made her feel better, “I’m so glad you love it. You’re incredibly talented, Jemma, and I’m happy you’re here with us. There’s a small group of us that have dealt with SHIELD and I know that becoming an Agent isn’t easy, so I want to make sure we all stick together.”
“He’s a very...intense… man.” That was one way of putting it. Of course, it should have been past tense. Not as if Jemma herself had met the man, and yet, she had. It was one of those in the way it was phrased. It was how they had known to look in the old SSR files, because of how Bakshi had said he was a disciple of Red Skull, in the present tense that had caught their attention.
Goodness knew that Jemma would need help with her improvisation skills. The only reason she had survived being undercover at Hydra was because Coulson told her to keep to half truths and specific phrasing. My loyalties are with science. It meant that she was still herself, her past at SHIELD wasn’t hidden. And there had been plenty of times she’d been convinced she’d be killed. Or brainwashed. That was also unsettling, the fact she could be brainwashed and not even know it.
The tensions in Orange County certainly were high as of late with everything that had happened. So having something that was good? Definitely needed. Between the Agency and Cosima, well, things could be worse. It was just a matter of not letting the dreams and feelings from them affect her work. Keep it locked up.
“I agree….” But the comment about only dealing with SHIELD. That was going to be complicated and the concern showed on her face as Jemma worried her lower lip for a moment, trying to figure out how to broach the whole Hydra part. What would Skye or May do? Trip? “And Hydra.”
Yes. They would just...jump right into it. Perhaps there was a reason Natasha hadn’t said anything to Peggy, and honestly, Jemma felt horrible if it turned out she was going to be the one to tell the woman who she idolised in the dreams about what had happened. But it might be necessary later. And to make sense of why Jemma had asked about Reinhardt in the first place.
“He is a very horrible man and I hope he doesn’t exist in this world. The things he did...I don’t wish anyone to ever see that,” she did not agree with Reinhardt’s war crimes in any way and it just made her hate Hydra even more because they allowed a man like him to hurt humanity. Sending him to spend the rest of his days in the Rat had seemed like a good idea, but the fact that Jemma knew his name didn’t bode well for his punishment.
She couldn’t read people’s minds but Peggy could see the warring emotions on Jemma’s face. And the moment Jemma allowed the worry to shine through Peggy’s internal alarm was raised. Something wasn’t what it was supposed to be and the last word she expected to hear from the woman was dropped. Hydra. It all came back to them, didn’t it? Her brow furrowed as she tried to process the information.
“Hydra? Jemma, what do you mean?” the expression on her face didn’t convey a person that actively fought against them with arms, but something more intense. Hopefully it didn’t mean that she was dealing with some sort of double agent that was more Hydra than SHIELD. It did concern her though because Jemma didn’t seem like the type that would be out in the field unless absolutely necessary.
“That would be an understatement… though I suppose those like him could exist. I agree though, I really hope he isn’t here as well.” That man would haunt her nightmares. Him and Bakshi both, along with Ward. She was collecting a fair amount of nightmare fuel with those three men alone. At least Bobbi had been there and gotten her out.
And that answered that question. Peggy had been unaware that Hydra had come back. That they had been within SHIELD the entire time, just waiting to come back into the light. The stress of being at the Hub when it happened, of fearing death, of the manhunt, of Ward. Being undercover. Jemma had far too much exposure to Hydra and the strain they could put on a person.
“They’re still around…. They were in hiding until 2014. They thought they killed Director Fury so they came out. Everything was…” Shaking her head, Jemma blinked and stopped as the bartender showed up with their pints. Oh this was a very good distraction. Taking hers and waiting until Peggy had hers so that they could find a booth, the scientist remained silent until they were seated. “SHIELD was being rebuilt.” She’d been in charge of SciOps, “but we needed information on what their researchers were doing, so I went undercover.”
And that really only scratched the surface.
“I’m so sorry.” Because she was. Because the organisation Peggy had built had been infiltrated from the beginning. Because it had fallen and no one had known and now they were scrambling to put it back together. Because she had been the one to tell her.
She heard rumors about what happened to Hydra in the future, but she had never experienced it. She was still in the 1940’s in her dreams and she was almost scared to see what happened to the world up until 2014. Granted, she had a lot of things spoiled for her (which was fine), but she didn’t know that Hydra had thought they killed Director Fury and then began a complete takeover of SHIELD. Her SHIELD. The one that she had helped build from the ground up in order to take care of horrible organizations like Hydra.
The worst part was probably that poor innocent Jemma had been chosen to go undercover and retrieve intel. A part of her wanted to smack whoever had come up with that idea because it was obvious that Jemma was untrained and unprepared for anything that could happen during that situation. It was a good thing that they were sitting because she promptly set her pint down on the table and ran her hands over her face, “Oh Jemma, love, you have nothing to apologize for. I heard things about this happening, but no one had told me everything and I’m not at that point in the dreams. I didn’t realize it was such a complete takeover and that makes my heart hurt for the fact that SHIELD was too blind to see that.”
A pause was given as she took a long sip from her pint, “And it hurts because you had to go undercover. Are you okay?” There were so many ways this could play out for Jemma and Peggy hoped that there were no major psychological repercussions for the woman, but Peggy would help if there were.
At least it hadn’t been a complete shock? Jemma would try to hold onto that, even though honestly it wasn’t as if there was any good about it. The entire Hydra takeover had shattered a lot of people’s faith. Jemma hadn’t even known why she’d followed Coulson after, why she’d first gone to Providence. Everything she had worked for in those ten years, everything she had believed in was gone. And then Ward’s betrayal and the realisation he’d played them all along. The med pod…
“They rose through the ranks quietly. No one knew until they sent out their signal. It was… very chaotic that day… Many people switching sides if they thought it would save them.” Agent Hand who had thought Coulson was Hydra and then hearing what Garrett said, worrying that they wouldn’t get to the team in time.
As Peggy said it hurt because Jemma had gone undercover, she quickly shook her head.
“It’s fine. It was what the team needed, it was a way to try and stop them. I’m fine.” It was a phrase that she’d keep repeating to herself and maybe one day she would believe it. One day it would be real. But there was no need to worry about that. Especially since she’d been of no help to Fitz, had been making him worse. At least undercover she’d been able to do some good.
“I don’t have the research I collected while I was there, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it shows up… but that was how I learned about the Obelisk, how Hydra wants to weaponise it. And Reinhardt, though he was going by Whitehall at that point. It seems he was released from the Rat in 1989 on compassionate leave by under director Pierce. He then disappeared and looked exactly the same in 2015 as he did in the file from 1945. He’s leading the American branch of Hydra now. Or in the Dreams anyway….”
“I can only imagine the chaos, but that’s what they live on. Causing as much chaos and destruction as possible,” Peggy could only imagine the horror of that take over. Having no idea if the people you knew for years were traitors or not. It would hurt so badly to see your neighbor turn their back on SHIELD and pledge their allegiance to Hydra; an organization you’ve been attempting to take down for years. And she could certainly see people easily trying to switch sides if it meant they could live for another day. Disgusting.
The fact that her words about seeming fine seemed quite wooden to her Peggy was able to realize that it wasn’t fine. Jemma was just trying to put on a brave face and say she did what she had to do. It took a certain type of person to be a spy, especially one undercover, and Jemma probably wasn’t prepared properly for it. She commended her for even doing it at all, but she just wanted to reach out and take the girl into her arms for a reassuring hug. She didn’t have to be okay if she didn’t want to be.
“Of course they want to weaponize it,” Peggy sighed and shook her head, “And i know Reinhardt was doing some horrible things to people, but I don’t know how he managed to keep himself looking the same. That’s akin to playing with black magic. How he discovered a way to reverse or stop his aging scares me and I don’t know if I want to learn. This may call for more drinks.” They certainly weren’t going to have this conversation sober because it would just lead to more nightmares to both of them.
There wasn’t much that could be said beyond it being chaotic when SHIELD fell. They had thought their team had gotten out unscathed. Mostly. Garrett’s betrayal had hit deep, especially for Trip. They thought Ward as well, but he’d left in order to be himself and no longer undercover until he needed to get to Skye. It had been easier in a way for Jemma to accept it. She had the facts, the science. Fitz had wanted so hard to believe there was good in him, that he was brainwashed… but everything he had done.. Jemma would never forgive him.
“From what they had managed to find, it was..horrible. Yet not enough for him, that people had survived.” And then she had needed to defend the lead scientist against Whitehall’s comments, his disappointment that it hadn’t been a widespread death. To say that it was simply because they didn’t have the object in hand, that it was alien tech and they didn’t know how it would react…. The point had been made and perhaps Jemma had saved the woman’s life. Yet…
“That’s the question. When he was released, he looked as you would expect age wise. Yet when he reappeared, it was as if he hadn’t aged at all…” There was nothing in the file, nothing in any of the research they had come across or that Jemma had come across undercover. No way to know how or why he was able to do that.
“More drinks might definitely be necessary.”