I thought you liked the stumbling hot mess.
Who: Shepard and Regina (Space Queen!) What: Romantic date in space When: recently Where: The Normandy Rating: Pg13
Shepard figured this would be the best way to impress a date. A shuttle ride to a space ship in orbit with a fantastic view. It would also give her a captive audience if she decided to actually tell Regina how she felt.
“So I’ve got something I want to show you.” She started with, driving Regina towards where she’d hidden the shuttle.
Today Regina had dressed down for their little outing, but by no means would she do so without a sense of class. None of that business professional clothing and pointed heels she always paraded around for work purposes, but it was still something stylish - sunglasses, a sleeveless cardigan to go over her top, capris pants and wedges.
So if Jane, for example, killed them with her sterling driving skills, she’d go well-dressed.
“How very ominous,” smirked the queen, lowering her shades to take a peek at her significant other. “I don’t get a hint?”
It was enough to be a little distracting, but Shepard mostly kept her eyes on the road, running over only about three cones as she swerved into the parking lot behind a Wal-mart. “Wait for it.”
She took the vehicle off road and into some trees, narrowly avoiding tree trunks as she wrecklessly floored it. After a terrifying sixty seconds, they emerged in a clearing, where one of the Normandy’s shuttles awaited.
Only three cones, that was very impressive. Though the sight of the towering Wally World had made glossed lips scowl, because she was sure Jane knew better than to romance her at a place such as Wal-mart. A huff of relief was made when they passed it anyway, but what the hell was so deeply hidden that--
“Huh,” Regina murmured, pushing those name brand sunglasses up and over. “And what is that, exactly?”
"That, my dear, is the UT-47A Kodiak. And she's our ticket to the best view you're ever going to have." The Kodiak had the side benefit of the Normandy's stealth technology. It wouldn't hide it from view, but radar wouldn't pick them up at all.
Jane stepped out of the vehicle and walked around to let Regina out. "Your chariot awaits."
There may have been a mix of confusion and intrigue on Regina’s face. A little bit of hesitance, because the way Jane had been speaking, well…
“Where are you taking me, exactly?” Stepping out, she dusted off her shirt a bit and smoothed out the bit of wrinkles from being in the car, then tossed a nod over to the Kodiak-whatever. “Because that looks like it belongs in space.”
Were they going to space?
Shepard’s grin grew wide, and she rested her hand on Regina’s lower back. “You’re not wrong.”
Now those gears turned in her head, and it didn’t take long for Regina to officially connect the dots. Neal’s kidnapping had been a distraction, but now since things were said and done… “The broken windows, the ever-so mysterious ship on the news,” she hummed, squinting at Jane before focusing back on this mini-space ship construct. “This cannot be legal. But I’m at peace with that.”
She never thought in a million fucking years she’d get the chance to see outer space. You’d have to be dumb to turn down that opportunity.
“Show me the law that says you can’t take a ship into space.” Shepard countered, knowing there wasn’t one. Or else Space X wouldn’t be in businesss.” She guided Regina onto the Kodiak, then showed her how to strap in. “For your sake, I’m letting the autopilot.fly us. Unfortunately I’m no Joker or Cortez.”
“You’re so thoughtful,” Regina remarked in sarcasm, in reference to being spare from Jane’s questionable ability (inability?) to fly this shuttle. She did well to contain excitement, but her nerves admittedly were a little knotted. Flying on an airflight, absolutely. Planes were sturdy and safe but this was much smaller in comparison, and it was supposed to take them outside of Earth’s atmosphere?
Well, she also knew Jane’s dreams were more futuristic than anything. Space travel was mastered. It should be okay.
“Kill me and I’ll haunt you, or if we die together, I will make your afterlife miserable.” Fair warning, all while she got strapped in. This was real life, wasn’t it? Should she text someone in case? “Does setting my phone to airplane mode make a difference or - you know what, I’ll just shut it off.”
“Yes dear,” Shepard replied. “I don’t think it matters, everything is shielded.” She keyed in her code, and the shuttle took off. It flew out over the city, circled the downtown area once, then lifted up towards space. The sky got darker and darker the farther they went up, until they could see the curve of the earth beneath a sea of stars. And then into view came the Normandy.
It was a very, very good thing Regina didn’t get motion sickness and puke all over the interior of this thing. She was too busy coming to terms with that she was in space. A blanket of darkness with twinkling lights, the moon closer than she ever thought it to be. The view was absolutely breath taking.
“One more thing I can cross off my bucket list,” she smiled, a wicked excitement. “That’s your ship, I’m assuming.”
“That’s her, the Normandy.” Shepard looked as proud as a mother with her newborn - or a biker with their custom hog. The shuttle looped under the Normandy and they came around behind, settling into the cargo bay. The bay closed and pressurized, and Shepard opened the Kodiak’s hatch.
“Not much to see here.” Except the robotic dog that came over to investigate the shuttle.
“That was an awfully smooth ride. My stomach only lurched once,” she snorted, stepping out of the Kodiak with much caution. Were wedges appropriate footwear for touring a space ship? And what was that poking at the thing? “I feel like I just stepped into a sci-fi movie. It’s very...surreal.”
Magic, yes, she was used to that. Used to lands like Wonderland and Neverland and the Enchanted Forest and all its fantastical oddities that came with it. This was something much different. Aliens. Galactic wars.
Shepard led her to the elevator, and as it went up she pointed out ‘that’s where Jaavik hung out, used to be my krogan baby’s tank area’ and ‘that’s where we had this annoying reporter’.
“Do you want to see the CIC first, or my quarters?”
Regina tried to keep up. Some names were familiar, others she mixed them up with somebody else, who knew - she wasn’t well-versed in Shepard’s squad of alien misfits, and the appearance of the spaceship added a whole other element. “Whatever the CIC is, I suppose,” she shrugged, relying on Jane’s guidance anyway. Not like she knew where to go.
The lift took them to the command deck, and Shepard stepped out. The memorial wall was prominent, lined with the names of those she’s lost along the way. She rubbed her hand on it as she passed, an action that was completely subconscious. “Over there is the infirmary. The room on the left has been various things but was last Liara’s information center. This big thing here…” She stepped up to the galaxy map. “This is the map of the galaxy. All those little points are plants and systems.”
Now, the map was a sight to behold - like something holographic, she guessed? Space was this big, vast unknown territory that fascinated most of the population and she was no exception. Did magic work out here? Usually things were tied to the Earth’s energies, and that was an experiment she almost wanted to embark on.
“I’m in space,” she breathed, like she’d just realized it but the reality kept falling one brick at a time. “What do you plan to do with this thing, anyway? Keep it up here? Wouldn’t something like NASA detect it, start asking questions?”
“Well we stole her from the US Government, but they’re not going to detect us. There’s no way to cloak the Normandy visually, but we can hide from sensors. Radar, heat signatures, and so on.” Shepard slipped her arms around Regina from behind, nuzzling the back of her neck. “Yeah, you’re in space. Want to get a better view? There’s a lounge.”
“There’s a lounge,” Regina repeated, a smirk on her face. Her eyes shifted to glance around as if she’d been thinking it over, long and hard, before shrugging in her arms. “Color me curious. Does it actually have regular drinks, or is it stocked up with some kind of futuristic brew? Did you guys have a penchant for drinking on the job?”
Well, from all the horror stories she’s heard (it was war, and war was never pretty), it wasn’t like they could really be blamed. Those Reaper things sounded terrifying.
“Both. You’ll want to avoid the stuff labeled for Turians and Quarians. It’ll eat your stomach alive.” Jane put her arm around Regina to guide her to the lounge. The blast panels were down, but there was a nice atmosphere to the lounge. And what vaguely resembled a karaeoke machine. Shepard hit a button and the blinds slid up. The Earth hung over their heads, suspended in a field of stars. “Makes you feel small, doesn’t it.”
No comment on the drinking on the job, but Shepard figured that was an obvious thing not to do.
“Noted, as that seems like sound advice.” Yes, she’d figure digesting liquor specifically made for aliens wouldn’t mix well with human physiology. That’s a science experiment Regina would happily skip out on, thank you, and rummaged through the selection. The bottles were bland cylinders with some labels she didn’t understand, so she’d avoid those. The ones that had the words ‘safe for human consumption’ was what she targeted, and the one she chose was colored a blinding violet.
“It’s tempting to live on here, isn’t it? It does seem to have the fixings of a home, somewhat. You’ve got a bedroom. A lounge, a medical center,” Regina continued, pulling out glasses. “Do I mix this with anything, or do we drink it straight?”
“Captain’s cabin has a wall to ceiling fish tank, a whole lot of ship’s models, other souvineers. Huge bed.” The burnt and damage helmet hadn’t been welcome, but… “I even have my space hamster!”
Shepard might be entirely too happy about that. “That? Drink straight.”
A space hamster. Did it have its own little space helmet to, she wondered? A legitimate question when all things space travel was mostly a foreign subject, despite the conversations she’d sat in with Jane and Garrus.
Anyway, straight it was, then, and she poured them both a glass. It seemed to serve just the right amount, or maybe they needed a little bit? She hadn’t instructed otherwise, so she’d be generous with the portions. “And for you,” Regina handed hers over. Then sniffed the one in her hand, curiously. “It smells...interesting.”
Shepard had no plans to go back to Earth tonight. So if she was going to get a little hammered, that would totally be completely one hundred percent all right. “This one is a little sweet, but it’s got a hell of a kick.” She took a sip, and shivered. “So..what do you think?”
“About the drink or the spaceship?” Regina inquired, her face a bit puckered at the taste of this foreign space liquor but it wasn’t bad. Odd, a little too sweet almost, but drinkable. An acquired taste, maybe. “Well, part of me still thinks this isn’t entirely possible. The view is…beautiful.”
Nothing could really beat the vast darkness, the blanket of silver stars twinkling, the sight of Earth. Blue and green with white swirls, the moon closer than ever.
“The drink, the space ship, the view…” Jane glanced at Regina out of the side of her eye. “Here’s where I point out that you make the view that much better… You make a lot of things better.” She coughed, and took a longer sip of her drink.
“Very smooth,” Regina complimented, amused more than anything at Jane’s attempt to be….romantic. Sort of. Showing your significant other what it was like to be in space was a hell of a start, she’d give her that. “But you’re not drunk and faceplanted into my chest, so I suppose I do help with a couple things.”
“That was a… dark moment, yes.” Shepard could admit when she had her down points. She didn’t have them often, but they’d swallow her up if she didn’t let them out now and again. Only Liara and Regina had ever really seen it to it’s full extent, though. That hopeless feeling of screaming into the darkness while monsters screamed back.
“But you do help. You understand. I love that about you.” She wanted to drop the ‘that about’ part of the sentence away, but couldn’t quite make the leap. It suddenly didn’t feel fair to trap Regina in space and then drop that bomb on her. And Shepard didn’t want to find out if Regina didn’t feel the same way.
Everyone had their dark moments. This place they lived - where realities bled together without mercy - didn’t give them room otherwise. Regina kept those harsher parts of her hidden, trapped under a tight lid with only one person to peak in. Who was Hans, because he knew what it felt like to dream of being a villain. He knew what it felt like to be treated like a villain here, even if their hands were clean. Thoughts of Henry, Emma’s appearance, finding out that the Henry who lived here was actually product of a random night stand between Neal and Emma because, of course, that was the way life worked.
“I can’t say I might always understand,” Regina said, tilting the glass to apple-red lips. “But I’ll listen. And make sure you’re not a stumbling hot mess that blurts out strange things.”
“I thought you liked the stumbling hot mess.” Shepard flashed her a grin, then topped off their drinks. “Want to see the fish? I have an auto-feeder to keep them alive because otherwise I’d forget.” Pause. “I may have partially seduced someone for awhile to keep them fed until I got the auto-feeder.”
Yet the hamster lived!
“I’ll make an exception with you out of fondness,” she smirked, rolling her eyes. “And the answer about the fish will depend whether or not they’re exotic space fish, or they’re...I don’t know, goldfish and guppies, or something that I can see from Earth.” Regina didn’t really understand the appeal of fish, but she supposed they were okay to look at and didn’t leave fur everywhere.
Or shit in your shoes. Or leave dead rodents on your pillow, because that was appalling.
“They’re actually pretty exotic space fish. I kept picking them up on the Citadel.” Shepard rubbed her chin. She remembered a pair of Krogan talking about fish. “There’s basically a sunroof over the bed. A really nice stereo system. I could show you my models.” Which only proved Shepard was actually a dork.
“Oh, you mean your toys?” Models was just another fancy word for it, but Jane seemed so enthusiastic about them (and those fish, which admittedly caught Regina’s interest because these were alien fish and who didn’t want to see alien fish?), she wouldn’t deny her. So Regina would humor the woman, lips quirked into that kind of expression that teetered between a grin and smirk. “That’s an interesting way to lure a woman into your bedroom, but I’ll go easy on you.”
“I’ve got to update my seduction skills,” Jane said. She grabbed the bottle, closed the blast windows, and led Regina back to the lift. There was still a lot to show her, but some of that could wait - she doubted Regina would care too much about the guns, though the Mass Effect drive was probably impressive enough to be of interest. For now, though, the elevator took them up. The cabin was spacious, and indeed had a wall full of fish, a lot of models, and one curious little space hamster peering out from his cage.
Shepard put the bottle next to the burnt and damaged N7 helmet, and turned on some mood music. The sunroof slid open to reveal another stunning view.
Stunning was putting it rather lightly, and the room itself had some interesting modern decor - in a kind of sci-fi way, anyway. Not that she expected much from a vessel made for galactic warfare, but she supposed the fishtank wall with its strange specimen was a nice touch. The spaceship figurines earned a raised brow, and the hamster, well…
No comment.
“I guess the commander of a spaceship needs to have something nice,” Regina mused, leaning up against the frame leading down towards the bed. “Though now that we’re alone - and am sufficiently awed by your ship - I need to talk to you. About Henry.”
Jane started to perk up at the alone line, though her mood immediately shifted when Regina brought up her son. She put down the bottle and her glass, and put her hand on her cocked hip. “Yeah?”
“Turns out Emma and Neal actually did bump uglies and create Henry,” Regina explained, her own glass set aside to fold her arms. That little boy had been the only thing on her mind lately - if he acted the same, sounded the same, still looked the same, just like the very little boy she adopted and raised on the other side. “So that Henry Neal actually found last year is...his.”
Fate worked in mysterious ways - it was all somehow meant to be, as annoying and relieving as it all could be. “The three of us are going to Boston. To see him. Just to give ourselves a peace of mind. Otherwise I’m not going to be able to get a damn night’s rest until I do.”
A mother’s love. It was very…strange.
Shepard smiled reassuringly, stepping over to Regina and putting her arms around her waist. “Do what you need to, I’ll support it.” She didn’t know how they’d explain Regina, anyway. It wasn’t like Henry dreamed (which was probably fortunate). But she’d let them figure that out. What mattered was Henry was Regina’s son. Maybe not in blood, but certainly in other ways. A mother’s love was difficult to understand, the closest thing Jane knew to it was her tankbaby Grunt.
They couldn’t explain Regina. That was the thing. Not as if they were going to go there and confess to Henry that they were his long lost family; he was (hopefully) happily adopted, and the whole purpose of this trip was to ease worrying minds. Neal had seen him, Emma hadn’t, and all Regina had done before was send a lump sum of money his way (while also hoping he wouldn’t blow it irresponsibly on comics).
She hadn’t raised him here. She had no claim on him. And he’d never call her ‘mom.’ It was something she was making peace with. Slowly, but surely. There wasn’t any other option.
“I wanted to give you a heads up before you wonder just where the hell I am,” she scoffed, with a little smile. “I’m just not...all that here right now.”
“It’s okay. Not being here right now.” Shepard brought her hand to Regina’s face. “You are allowed to be human. Just a regular human, with regular human emotions. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Good. Otherwise I’d have to kill you,” she humored darkly, red-stained lips tilting into grin. Dreams had complicated everything, including her every day life. Her every day feelings. It was still a chore sorting them out, figuring out what was actually hers and what carried over - and it was easier said than done, when there was so much hate to sift through. Bitterness, even misguided love (towards her mother, towards her sister). Robin Hood, Roland, his wife.
Regina was a steel woman, however. She’d deal. With silence and resilient will with a smart remark readied like a weapon, because there was always something to mock.
For now, a distraction under the stars didn’t seem like a terrible escape.