Annie Cresta is one with the waves (lifeisastorm) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-06-18 18:42:00 |
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Annie really wasn’t a fan of talking about the Dreams, but she also wasn’t going to say no if asked. She never knew what to say when they came up as it tended to seem she was ahead of both Johanna and Peeta. But she would answer as best she could, and try to hold it together. It wasn’t the easiest of things, but she was getting better about that again. Nothing new had happened since the wedding dream, but she knew it wasn’t over. Talk of missions and fighting back against Snow and the Capitol.
Arriving at the cafe early, Annie got herself some tea before finding a table to sit at, fiddling with the charm bracelet from Finnick. It seemed to have become a staple in her jewellery choices along with the ribbons and bracelets she always wore to cover her scars. For now, it was waiting and hoping this worked, because really, she wasn’t the best of people to go to for these sorts of things. But she had techniques on dealing with the memories. She’d be fine.
In theory.
Johanna’s dreams had been more frequent recently. First they’d entered the arena about a week earlier then there had been the blood rain and keeping Wiress and Beetee safe for Katniss and then the plan to get out. She had expected more time between dreams, but then they had been putting their plan into action and before she knew it, she’d woken up after everything went pear shaped. She’d remembered fighting with Katniss, for Katniss’ own good of course, and getting knocked out then the next thing she knew she was back in the Capitol. As a prisoner. She’d woken up shortly after waking up in the dreams and she understood what Peeta had meant when he’d said things were just going to get worse.
She’d waited until a reasonable time of the morning then she’d sent off a couple of texts to Peeta, Gale and Annie. She knew that Peeta was sort of MIA at the moment, but luckily he’d responded and they had talked a little about the dream while at the same time, she’d made plans with Annie to get together to talk about them. She knew that Annie didn’t really like to talk about the dreams, but she needed to talk to someone and in person. Texts were fine and all, but they weren’t the same.
Reaching the coffee shop they had agreed to meet at, Johanna spotted Annie right away and after getting a coffee, she headed over to the other woman, “Hey, how’s it going?” She asked as she sat down across from her.
Each person responded differently, but Annie had always said that she’d be there for the others if they needed it. So even if she didn’t like talking about the dreams, she would. So instead she just gave a small smile to Johanna as she joined her. She didn’t look that good, but given she’d dreamt of the end of the Quarter Quell, it wasn’t so surprising. Their dreams were not ones which left a person unmarked.
“It’s.. going.” She had the jewellery making with Portia for a movie, but Annie was working on dealing with dreams and her personal nightmare from the real world. She got by though, lived her life and hadn’t locked herself in the corner of her apartment in a couple of weeks. She’d call that a win.
“What about you?”
“Aside from these dreams, it’s going alright.” Work was going well for Johanna and she had been trying to get a little practice in with her axe, which were all good things, but then the dreams had to come around and ruin it all in one night, “Just once I’d like to have a regular, naked in public dream or something. Ya know? Something where I’m riding a unicorn on the beach. Just something to prove to myself that I’m not crazy.”
The dreams had a way of doing that. Ruining things by reminding them they existed and that their lives and normal life things weren’t the only things that they had to worry about. No, there were dreams or the risk of waking up from injuries because of them, of the trauma and the gifts. (Really, what was Annie supposed to do with a wedding dress?)
“Well...I have a sliding scale of crazy… but I know what you mean.”
Because it wasn’t only the dreams where Annie had lost herself after trauma. So her scale was probably different than a lot of people’s. Not that it mattered in the end, the dreams still left their mark on her. Be it the sound of cannons randomly stalking her, of drowning, of missing people who weren’t there and just in the dreams, or random items. Given how she had won her own games, she at least never had to worry about weapons. Not like she had been meant to win to begin with.
Johanna sighed and took a sip of her drink, "You've dreamt about the Quarter Quell, right?" She didn't want to spoil anything for Annie if she hadn't gotten there yet so she figured she would check first before saying anything.
And there they were. Because well, it was bound to come up. Johanna had wanted to talk, and Annie had known despite the fact she avoided doing that for the most part. But it didn’t really matter. Instead the swimmer nodded, fiddling with the charm bracelet. It was what seemed to get her through anything related to the Dreams these days.
“I did… and after…” She didn’t know if Johanna would want to know about what was to come. Peeta hadn’t and then once he had, well, he suddenly had. But as per usual, Annie would let Johanna decide the route they went with that. Because talk of torture? It went beyond the arena, which shouldn’t be possible.
“I just dreamt about the Arena going pear shaped. I got knocked out by Katniss when I tried to cut the tracker out of her arm.” Johanna said, placing her elbows on the table and folding her arms, “Last thing I remember….I think I was taken. I just remember feeling like I was being moved.” Johanna could only imagine what her next dreams would be. She knew that something horrible had happened to Peeta once the Arena exploded, but he hadn’t gone into detail about what had messed him up a few weeks back, but she assumed it had to do with whatever happened after the Arena.
“You were. They took you, Peeta and me to the Capitol.” As she spoke, Annie looked down at her tea. “They took me from District Four almost as soon as it happened.” It had been terrifying. She’d been scared enough, not knowing what had happened to Finnick in the arena, the loss of Mags… And then the ‘Peacekeepers’ just charging in and grabbing her to take her to the Capitol for torture. Locked up, sharing walls with Johanna and Peeta, hearing the screams.
Closing her eyes, Annie took a breath and held it for a count of ten before releasing it slowly to bring herself back to the present.
Johanna could only imagine what sort of things would happen to them in The Capitol. Johanna had spent time there after her games and was familiar with the side that everyone else saw, but she also knew what Snow was capable of. “Shit.” She watched Annie, realizing that she had already dreamt about what happened afterwards, “It’s not good after that, is it?” She reached across the table to place a comforting hand over one of Annie’s.
The touch to her hand caused Annie to jolt out of her thoughts, panicked. It was reflex, especially when she wasn’t expecting it, which she hadn’t been since her eyes were closed. But it was only Johanna and so she was able to calm the racing of her heart and nodded.
“Not good at all. But.. we get rescued. Taken to District 13.”
The whole marriage thing was still so foreign to Annie. She couldn’t see herself doing so, but if even broken by the Games version of her could… not like it mattered here. And it was just easier to focus on the fact that they did get out. Because it would seem impossible at the time.
“I don’t know what happens after that. I know that there is talk of rebellion, of striking back but I haven’t really dreamt anything past the getting rescued bit.”
Johanna also jumped slightly as Annie did, not having realized that touching her when she wasn’t expecting it might scare her, “Sorry.” She took her hand back and placed both hands on her lap for a moment before placing them back on the table, “Well that’s good to know.” Part of her wanted to know what sort of torture the three of them were put through while held captive by the Capitol and she knew that Annie could tell her, but part of her didn’t want to, “I think I’ll wait though to find out what happens in the Capitol. I think if I knew, that’d make it worse. The waiting for it part.”
“It’s okay.” And it was. Peeta was really the only one she had let in about what had happened to her in New York, and that was only because he’d seen the scars without her realising. Most people didn’t know exactly how skittish Annie could be because she mostly had her emotions and reactions under control. So she just nodded as she went back to fiddling with the charm bracelet.
She also wasn’t shocked that Johanna decided she wanted to wait to see what happens.
“Makes sense. Peeta said something similar.” Of course, he hadn’t even wanted to know about the Capitol and only after he started dreaming it did he think that maybe knowing would have been better. But Johanna knew that they were at the Capitol. She knew that Peeta had been badly affected. She had seen Annie’s reactions so it was probably easier for her to put the pieces together and decide if she wanted to know or not.
“If I change my mind though, I’ll ask.” As of the moment though, Johanna didn’t think she would, but if she did there was Annie or Peeta that she could ask and chances were, she’d wind up dreaming it before she even got the chance to change her mind, “Hey, so, I was thinking, we should all do something together this summer. Me, you, Peeta, Gale.” She knew that Katniss was around, but she had yet to actually talk to the other girl so she didn’t know about inviting her out if they did something. Haymitch was also a maybe on that list.
“Sounds good, I’m always around if you need to talk.” Even if she hated it. But she understood the need for support and she wasn’t going to let the dreams completely control her. Yes there were the bad days, but she was more content to get through them as best she could. “Oh? Like what?”
Doing things for the summer with people sounded good. Admittedly, she hadn’t actually met Gale yet, not really, but that didn’t really bother her. Beyond Johanna and Peeta, she only knew Portia from the Dreams since they now worked together in a sense. Katniss had spoken to her… once? But that had been months ago. Who knew what was going on there, she only knew how Peeta felt on the matter.
“Don’t know really. Maybe a BBQ or we could go to the beach or really anything.” They could even go to Disneyland for all Johanna cared. She just thought it’d be a good idea for them all to do something together.
“Fire pit at the beach?” Because it was Annie. Of course she would be drawn to the beach, well, now that her aversion to water thanks to the Dreams had worn away. That had been a hard month, but now she was perfectly content with the beach again, the water and waves calmed her. It was good. True it was summer, which meant more people which wasn’t so much a thing she enjoyed. But the beach.
“Ooh. I like that idea. We could even go to a lake. Tie some rafts together then have a bonfire at the end of the night.” Johanna had seen people do that in movies and tv shows, but had never done it herself. One would think that after the Quarter Quell Arena, she wouldn’t want to be near water, but she wasn’t going to let the dreams ruin things that she enjoyed.
Sometimes it was hard to keep the Dreams from interfering with the things one enjoyed, Annie knew that far too well. But it wasn’t impossible. Nor did Annie care what sort of body of water she was near. It was more the water anyway, what with her more or less being a mermaid.
“That would be nice.”
“Great. So when Peeta resurfaces I’ll mention it to him and I’ll send Gale a text about it later.” Johanna was worried about Peeta and she knew that he would answer if she texted him, but she didn’t want to interfere while he tried to cope with the dreams. She had no idea how she was going to react when she got there and for now she would wait until Peeta contacted her.
“Sounds like a plan.” It wasn’t like Annie really had anyone to ask or reach out to unless she ended up asking Portia. But that would be seen later, once they had more of an idea. Or if Portia would even be able to since she had her Paris trip for a movie. So for now, it was just figuring out the next play and start planning.