"I tend to like de more tangible items, chere."
Who: Remy, Raven and Rogue What: Pie, flirting, and business arrangements. Sort of Where: Remy's new house When: Lets say Saturday Status: Complete Rating: Pg-13 for pie
The house smelled like baked goods. Some kind of cinnamon bread. Raven was in her bedroom, wrestling the safe into the closet. All their information was inside. They kept their laptops there, as well.
Anna had already retrieved hers, and sitting in the kitchen at it while monitoring her baking. Flour smudged her cheek. Dinner would consist of whatever take out was still delivering after the quake, as long as it wasn't Chinese. She really would explode if she had to have Chinese again.
Tomorrow they can go off of Take-out and into a home cooked meal again.
In rides Remy with a couple of moving guys, who were paid a metric butt ton of money to ignore the fact that an earthquake happened, or things fell from the sky, or any of that business. Because it wasn't business that Remy really wanted to deal with after biffing it on a offramp, especially not after someone flailed at their phone while driving their car, as the first big earthquake hit.
Really. One would think that they'd pay attention to the guy on a high-powered crotch rocket zipping between cars anyway, but noooo. At least he'd been slowed down when it happened. Somewhat. Sort of. Relatively.
He'd also brought pizza. Because that was traditional moving food. Beer and pizza. He couldn't exactly woo women with his excellent cooking skills, if he hadn't the groceries to do that quite yet. These houseguests were unexpected, as was the entire situation. There was probably some sort of stupid tsunami watch too, which figured. Right when he got a beachfront house, eeesh. But regardless of unexpected natural disaster events, no WAY was he going to have two ladies staying in some cheap ass motel after their shitty cardboard apartment collapsed.
Besides, one of them said she'd kiss it better, later on.
"Ok den, y'all can just put dem bed t'ings where looks like it needs de bed type things in 'em," Remy was telling the two movers as he opened the front doors, pizza box balanced in one hand and a six pack of beer in the other. "Merci! I've got to...to..."
Oh no. Was that PIE? The aroma crawled up his nose and built a little gingerbread house inside his head, to lure children in toward their doom. He looked like he'd been bitch slapped by baked goods as he drifted off toward the kitchen, forgetting to say anything else to the movers. They could guess where the big bed went anyway and just throw it in there and wait for him to square away the double-payment bill with them.
Into the kitchen he went, smiling like someone who had his hand in too many cookie jars. He looked around as he put the beer and pizza on the countertop, saying, "Hello dere. Dat apple pie smells divine."
Neither woman was concerned about possible tsunamis. They hadn't even thought about it, really. Anna had gotten up to check on the oven, bending over as she was doing so. It looked like it was rising fine and the temperature was pretty even throughout the oven. She even kissed the digital read-out with an audible 'mwah.'
She turned at the sound of the voice, and smiled. Her bangs were bleached, "Y'all must be Remy. Ah'm Anna." She turned in the directions of the bedrooms and bellowed, "RAVEN! HE'S HERE!"
"You don't need to shout, I heard the movers." The red-head smiled at Remy, her eyes roaming appreciatively, "Is that pie done?" She held out her hand to Remy, "And I'm Raven."
"Remy LeBeau, at yuh service," was the reply, with a easily given grin at the pair, in response. Either way he he looked at it, they were both gorgeous, so this situation seemed like it work out perfectly fine. "Miss Raven an' Miss Anna, it is a pleasure. I hope de accommodations meet yer expectations, in dese tryin' times. Y'all want some beer an' pizza? It's de best I could rustle up. Most of de stores are mopin' de floors an' closed up."
He hopped up onto the granite countertop, his butt landing with a plop that should've looked ungaily but he somehow made it seem graceful and done with the greatest of ease. "I am afraid dat de rest of de furnishings won't make it here for a day or two. Dey weren't as easily bribed as de bed people were. So, anyt'ing dat I need t'know or we gonna be happy housemates for de duration of yuh stay...which is as long as you need, to get back on yuh collective feet."
He gave the ladies a sly wink.
"Beats the hell outta Chinese," Anna replied, grinning happily. She let Raven handle this part.
Raven leaned on the counter next to Remy and smiled flirtatiously, "We don't really need much, Remy." She said his name like it was some fine, delicacy, "Just a place to sleep and an internet connection."
"An' the cotten-pickin' kitchen!"
"And a good kitchen, apparently. Her skills extend beyond baking, I assure you."
"Raven!"
She gave Anna a wicked little grin.
"Oh, ladies, ladies...I done told you both? I ain't about t'take advantage. Especially not to a fellow southerner, an' a damsel in distress. Though I get de sense de both of you could tag team de pants offa man if you got in yuh heads."
His smile was just as flirtatious, all lazy N'awlins charm, and his voice was an unrushed drawl that put drizzled honey to shame. He bounced the heels of his boots off the cabinets lightly, leaning back on his hands and nodding with a twitch of his head to the beer and pizza on the counter. It was an open invitation to dig in. Those two things did go hand in hand, after all. Couldn't have one without the other.
"You will, naturally, have to share de kitchen with yuhs truly. I don't know how to bake, but I sure as hell can cook. Especially when it comes to jambalaya. As for dat internet? I'll have dat hooked up as soon as possible. I kinda need it to mind muh investments."
That was said with the greatest of ease. As if he was talking about the simple act of breathing or blinking.
Raven put a hand on Remy's knee and rubbed, "We may or may not have had to do so in the past." There was an element of truth to her words, that was evident even through the flirtation of her voice. Remy's voice, she could listen to all day and then some.
She wanted to dig in, and not pizza or beer.
Even though Anna wasn't legal, alcohol wise, she grabbed a beer and opened it up, "That's all right, sugar. As long as we don't let Raven in here cept ta eat or maybe make some sandwiches. I recken she'd burn the house down, otherwise." Pause.
"Jambalaya?" Her mouth watered at the thought.
"What sort of investments?" Raven's hand was moving a bit north, "I might have a few..suggestions."
She WAS fiesty. Not that he minded, but he didn't want to think she was obligated to pay for the stay with nature's credit card. With that in mind, Remy took hold of Raven's hand and placed a kiss atop it, like a true southern gentlemen. But, so the other girl wasn't feeling neglected, he alternated looking at them both, even as he still had hold of that hand, like it was made of priceless and fragile porcelain.
"Jambalaya, ma'am. Muh tante taught me everyt'ing she knows about cookin', 'cept baking things. So that is purely yuh domain. As for dem investments," he smiled at them both, each one in turn, "it's a little of dis an' a little of dat. I like to diversify muh portfolio."
That last statement was said with the greatest of glee in his voice and a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.
Raven shivered a bit. This man was smooth. That made him dangerous. That made him fun. There was clearly more to his words than what the words meant, but she found herself grinning in response to the glee in his voice. It was easy to play along.
Anna was too. Grinning that was. It wasn't a game to her, not like it was to Raven, so her response was entirely genuine, "That's good then. Ah'll be sure ta give yuh a good bakin' tire."
"Your the reason I have a vigorous exercise routine," Raven commented.
"I will gladly indulge," Remy said, smooth as silk, and the look he gave them both was like a lazy lapcat, ready to roll on it's side on someone's lap, and receive some heavy petting. He liked both of the girls, though for very differing reasons. The one with the skunk stripes seemed to be the more open of the pair, and vocally sassy, which was something he enjoyed quite thoroughly. And the redhead, well...she seemed dangerously fun, like playing with fire. Something that appealed to him, also.
Either way, he was going to have his hands full with these two as housemates, for however long they stayed. Just the way he liked it! The last thing that Remy found tolerable, was being bored. Bad things happened, when he got bored.
"So, you know dat I'm in investments. What is it dat you two do fuh a living? If you don't mind muh asking."
There was probably much that appealed to Remy, Raven decided. She hoped he'd be willing to engage in a little bit of foreplay - and a whole lot of what came after. At least once in awhile. Part of her felt obligated, but it would be something she'd enjoy to begin with so it wasn't like she felt dirty. In a bad way.
She leaned in, lips an inch from his ear, and purred, "Information brokers."
Rolling her eyes, Anna turned to get the pie out of the oven. It just needed to cool and then they could dig in. She'll let Raven get her seduction on. As much as Remy admittedly got her motor running, she'd sworn off relationships - sexual or otherwise - years ago. Pretty sad for someone not quite pushing twenty.
As much as HE would've liked to indulge and was tempted, his daddy didn't raise no fool when it came to loving (and leaving) the female of the species. He had a healthy respect for them and their whims, and that's why he turned his head so he was nose to nose with Raven, giving her a lopsided smile and a little eyebrow raise. The left one, for the record. As though he found her purring and what she said, equally interesting.
"Ma'am, you really don't need to get yuh seduction on, though I am certainly flattered. Until t'ings are settled with de catastrophe? I will be mindin' muh manners, like muh papa done raised me to," he reassured her, but with such ease and grace in his way of speaking, that it wasn't a let down as much as a unrushed, unhurried 'maybe later.' Besides, he found something of greater interest, like he'd just run into a fellow thief of sorts, and a game of cat and mouse appealed to him. "What sorta information, I wonder. 'Cause I can't imagine it's like the google, where dey collect it an' sell it to de advertisers. Or is it?"
Good gawd that man. Anna fought the urge to fan herself, turning it into an urge to fan the pie. Concentrate on the pie, and not on the two hundred pounds of pure sex appeal sitting on that countertop.
"Maybe a little bit," Raven replied, smiling like a shark. "There's certainly gathering, and certainly selling, to the right bidder."
Something told her. Something in her gut, and her experience being a thief, as a child in the 90s and an adult as well. This could be the beginnings of a beautiful partnership, "Little things. Big things."
"Well, you know. De little t'ings an' de big t'ings? Dey tend to add up."
That's a hundred-and-seventy-nine pounds of sex appeal that's on the countertop, ma'am. Merci!
Meanwhile, he had nodded along, like he got what she was saying as it sunk in more, not that he needed the extra time to unravel it. Only that he wasn't in a hurry, and sometimes it was worth it to wait and see, or weigh things out. His gut told him, as well, that these two weren't exactly on the right side of the law, either. And there was such a saying that his daddy was fond of saying, about being thick as thieves. There was a reason thieves stuck together, after all. They knew that if they didn't keep some honor amongst themselves, it'd just be a matter of ratting eachother out and both rats would find their heads snapped clean off by rather large traps.
"I tend to like de more tangible items, chere," he hinted. "I prefer de investments dat I can hold in muh hands, an' den pawn off to de right buyers."
Raven was adding another twenty-one pounds after a month of Anna's baking, that's all. Naturally, she wouldn't breathe a word about any of his investments, because then he'd rat them out. It was a code that worked, for the most part.
It was why her on-again-off-again relationship with the Fire Syndicate worked out so well, after all.
"Uh huh," Anna was saying, sounding sharp as a tack. "Well if yuh ever have any investment problems, the kind that leave you with some kinda hurt, Raven's yuh woman to help with that. She's real good at patching up a portfolio."
She was proud of herself for the way she'd phrased 'she's also a medic', there.
Raven looked amused, "I am rather good with my fingers, yes."
"You would be surprised de sort of...knicks an' frays muh portfolio seems to avoid gettin'. Though I could've used it against mother nature, fuh she is a fickle woman indeed."
Remy looked pretty amused as well. He got himself out of some very tough spots, and had some near misses when it came to bullets and guard dogs. So much so that he leaned sideways entirely, and knocked on the wood of the cabinets for luck. At least there was someone who was good with their fingers and could probably stitch him up - and kiss it better - but he'd rather not tempt lady luck to abandon him in a future time of need.
Seemed like she'd already stepped in, on this situation, and they had a regular den of thieves going on already. He wasn't about to complain. It could be lucrative, after all.
"I am very good wit' muh fingers, mes amies. Seems like we had some good juju happenin', meeting on de net like dat. Earthquakes acquaint a man with strange bed-fellows, non?"
"Do you still need it kissed better?" Raven asked. She'd managed to retrieve her medical bags - those had been expensive and it was getting harder every year to steal the supplies she needed. The nation gave her some, but she didn't like owing them any more than she had to.
"It does seem like it. It was nice of you to offer."
"Damn tootin'" Anna agreed. "Yuh really did't need to, Sugar. We would have made do. Ain't like the first time we've had to up an' move house."
"De minute you mentioned anyt'ing about a Mississippi river rat, chere, it was muh duty to help de both of you. We are practically neighbors, an' dat extends to a worldwide invitation to help you an' yuhs in any time of crisis. Dat's de code of de South, after all. An' we get flooded 'nuff to know dat generosity in times o' naturally occurring chaos is needed. Even if it's some small part dat can be done, it still counts."
He slipped down off the counter, and though his words have been serious, he still appeared to be the same laid back guy, utterly at ease in his own skin. A beer was cracked open and he eyed them both while taking a drink, in a somewhat mischievous way. Oh hell, it was ultra mischievous. He was a thief after all.
Even so....
"Damn," he said with a sigh after he swallowed the beer down, "dis means dat I can't steal from either of you, someday. Dat's a shame. I bet you had some nice t'ings. Well, decent 'nuff t'ings. You did mention a shitty apartment. Clearly you need to broaden yuh portfolios."
"Yuh got a good point," Anna admitted. Of course, it had taken a refugee from Europe to take her in when she was on the street, but she didn't say that. The sentiment still stood.
She probably wouldn't have given Remy a chance when she was fourteen. It had taken Raven a few attempts as it was. She knocked back part of her beer, then brandished a knife, "The pie is almost ready. It ain't the best ah ever done but ah'm happy with it."
Raven just laughed, "Doesn't mean you can't steal for us, some day. A mutual trade, as it were."
"I do so like mutual trades. Even if I work best alone, dere's been times where dat is very beneficial." That sounded like a HELLS YES. He gave Raven a sly wink, and then eyed Anna with that knife. "Ohh, you look like yuh an expert wit' dat. Remind me not to piss you off, Miss Anna."
She made to stab the pie,instead changing it to a gentle, but expert set of cutting, "Ah've always wanted ta make one of them cake sculptures. Like on those food network shows. Where they get all fancy an' artsy fartsy."
"Oh mon dieu, I love de food network. I swear, I am going to sweep Miss Paula Deen offa her feet an' marry dat woman. An' den muh thievin' fingers are gonna steal every last one of dem cupcakes. Even de ones de judges say didn't work out well? I would eat all of them. But for right now," he said, eyeing the baked goods, "I t'ink I need me some damn pie."
He was already reaching out a hand toward the pie, so he could bust him off a piece of the pie crust for a taste test.
Anna thwapped his finger with the flat of the blade, "Watch yuh sneaky fingers! Get a plate, we gonna eat civilized like!"
With a plate, and a fork, and a whole lot of apple mess on their faces.
Raven slid around the table, grabbing up a slide of pizza and a beer for herself, "We don't have any plates. Just use napkins."
Anna cursed.
"Oh, you ain't gonna let me get away wit' nothin'," he said like a sly fox, grinning wildly at her. "I might like dat. You keep me in line den, chere. Or try to."
He was shaking out his hand, and thankful he wasn't missing any fingertips or nothing! He needed those after all! For stealing stuff. :D
"I guess I can still use muh hands den, can't I?" he offered, and then just to be a joker so she'd stop cursing, "Or I could let you ladies eat de pie outta muh hands. Dat might be fun too."
He was absolutely joking, and hoping it made Anna curse more, because that was hellishly amusing that she had that sorta potty mouth. He even tsk'd her. Fuh shame, ma'am. Fuh shame.
"Gawdamn," Anna said, throwing up her hands in exasperation. She all but shoved pie into his greedy, strong and flexible looking fingers. Ugh. Men. Maybe she should be a lesbian. Except she'd tried that once and it had been awkward and kind of disappointing.
"Do I need to wash your mouth out with soap?" Raven was grinning, retrieving a slice for herself. Beer, pizza and pie. Truly a meal of champions.
"Shut yuh trap."
"You've both graced muh home muchly wit' de baked goods an' banter. I will eat dis, an' be grateful." He was grinning too, cupping his precious slice of apple pie in his strong hands with them flexible fingers and nimble fingertips. Just to be a bit of a pest, and because teasing Anna a LITTLE bit seemed like it might be fun, he gave her a good long staring at, and asked, like he was the devil incarnate, "You sure you don' want de first bite, chere? If you promise not to nibble on muh fingers...oh fine...you can, if you want to."
He stood there, smiling at her, wildly, in full on :D and everything.
Just wait until he did some nude sunbathing out on the private balcony. That was going to be adventuresome. He expected she'd turn fifty shades of red, and that Raven would simply join him without a second thought.
That was 100% true. Both the blushing and the joining.
Anna, her eyes locked on Remy's, lifted up her own slice, biting slowly and sensuously into it. After she swallowed, she picked out another beer, a couple slices of pizza, and declared, "Ah am gonna retire ta mah room, suh."
Then Anna, her pie and her food walked out of the kitchen.
"...oh dat...dat is simply unfair," Remy said, like she countered him expertly. Enough that he leaned to one side to watch her as she departed and made a MM-MM noise like that was DIVINE INDEED, the rear view of Miss River Rat. He almost lost his pie. Almost. Because he noticed it starting to slip out between his thumb and index finger and held his mouth under his hands to catch a piece of apple in it.
It was some damn good pie.
Raven watched him appreciatively. Anna was very good at what she did, even if she'd protested often in private. There was a long string of marks left with blue balls, thanks to the young southern lady.
"That's not a bad idea. I should bring her her laptop anyway." She stood on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek, "Thank you, again." Then after a wink and getting another slice, she was gone, too.