I'm no Jedi (ahsoka_tano) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-06-02 15:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | !open, ahsoka tano, anakin skywalker |
Who: Ahsoka Tano and open
What: Ahsoka has a bad dream and needs to go jogging
When: today
Where: Around
Status: In progress
War. Death. Killing. Ahsoka had dreamed all of these things, and every morning she woke up more and more shaken. More off center. Her job generally made things more difficult. That seductive call of the dark side.
But then last night, everything had somehow gotten worse. Expelled from the order. Her padawan braid taken. Thrown to the wolves of the Senate, for a sham trial. And all for a crime she hadn't committed. And she'd thought...she'd thought Anakin was helping her escape. Only he was hunting her down with the rest of them. Her troopers, her friends, the Jedi Council themselves were out for her blood. It reached the point where she was seeing eye to eye with Asajj Ventress, a former sith assassin. It was a thought that scared her.
It was the betrayal from the Jedi that hurt the worse. She was one of their own. She'd been with the order since she was a toddler. They'd raised her and trained her, they were her family. And to stare down at the council and feel as though they were judging her. Even Plo Kloon. Yoda. Only Anakin spoke out for her.
Then Asajj betrayed her, but she should have expected that.
The trial itself was the sham she expected it to be. It felt as though the deck were stacked against her, and she was a scapegoat for a Senate vendetta against the Jedi. Just when she thought she was screwed, there was Anakin, with the real killer.
The real betrayer.
It was the last person she expected to see. Ahsoka didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Whether to be angry, or to just... pity her. Of all the people in the galaxy, it was kind, gentle Barriss Offee. Her accusations were wild, and emotional and yet... and yet a part of Ahsoka could find no fault in them. The Jedi had lost their way. The peacekeepers given way to warriors. Barriss was supposed to be a healer. A healer. But she'd framed her, and Ahsoka's heart ached over that. It ached for reasons that dream! Ahsoka didn't fully understand. She'd watched her friend taken away. And then she'd walked away from the Jedi Order. From everything she'd ever known. She'd walked away from Anakin.
She'd woken up to painful, wracking sobs, and then laid in bed in misery for an hour before calling in sick. Meditation failed her. Training failed her. She hastily dressed and headed out, hoping that jogging around would make her feel better. She barely remembered the charm that kept her Glamour up - and her distraction was so great that she kept flicking between her normal look and her alien look. If anyone seemed to notice, no one said a thing.
Ahsoka caught her breath at a park bench. She should talk to someone. She could make a post. Maybe later. Maybe when she could think coherently, when she didn't feel so lost. It was all a dream. But it hurt her as though she'd been there.