Who: Hans & Regina (guest appearance of Rainbow Brite from that one meth house) What: A little bit of demon hunting, a little bit of vampire slaying When: Tonight?? RECENT, it's always safe to go with recent Where: Local graveyard Rating/Warnings: Violence, demon innards, language, mild references to drugs, snarkity snark because these two are classy royals. Status: Complete!
Demons. They’d been on her lawn. It was an utter travesty and landscaping wasn’t cheap, but the only way to properly deal with the gang of them had been by incendiary means and it left her once emerald grass scorched, and then everything following that successfully soured her mood. Which later then led to the fact that if she wanted to keep them off her property, there needed to be some active involvement and going out and diminishing their numbers.
“No better opportunity than to stretch those telekinetic muscles by demon disposal,” snorted Regina, paving a warpath with those heeled boots. Like in some cliche cult show, they seemed to congregate plenty in the cemeteries. At night. And she was more than ready for the hunt. “Don’t get bit - I heard about vampires, too. Someone sent me a picture. Hideous things. Hard to miss.”
Hans proved to be an excellent partner in crime. They’d help the forces of the greater good from the sidelines, keeping their ‘heroics’ to themselves. It was a special sort of bonding time she didn’t want interrupted, and she never felt the need to filter herself around her dearest brother-in-law - one of the only pieces of family that fit in her steely heart. They’d ensure each other’s safety. Such a flawless team, these dream royals.
Oh good, they were back to the heroics again. Meth houses today, cemeteries-turned-into-demonic-playgrounds tomorrow. You just never could tell what would crop up in the OC. At least the hellspawn barbecue on Regina’s front lawn had been entertaining, but god, even the after effects of it now - the dust and char still settling - smelled exactly as awful as anyone could imagine. Like the bowels of Hades itself.
Hans assumed that it wouldn’t smell fresh as a daisy tonight either. But why not take out some stress on whatever supernatural nuisance was plaguing their happy home?
“Don’t get bit, check. Wasn’t planning on it,” Hans informed his sister-in-law, buttoning up his coat as they walked past the gate since it was a little chilly out here, regardless of spring in the air. He hadn’t ever come across her in the dreams, not directly, but picked up magic the same way she did - taught by a skilled mentor, though just without that push and shove into darkness that Regina received, for the purposes of being a scapegoat. “How exactly do you kill a demon though? Besides fire? I’d like to leave the cemetery intact. I mean. We’re talking potential zombie invasion if things go awry.” Let’s not piss off the corpses - here, it was highly possible and no one could convince him otherwise. “Telekinetic choking?”
As for a means of ‘taking care of business,’ she had a few things at her disposal aside from a flaming inferno concentrated into a ball, or the handy skill of moving things with your mind. Nature manipulation, for one thing - she was particularly one with the trees, but without cheesy hippie intentions. Energy blasts which could disintegrate targets. Hans was still her young grasshopper, taking some baby steps here and there, but he had improved - and his talent was promising.
“Or telekinetic decapitation,” she suggested, lips shaded in apple-red curled into a scheming smile. “Similar to choking, I’d suppose, but squeeze hard enough and their head goes pop. I’m predominantly going by movie lore, anyway, and decapitation - aside from straight fire power - were efficient solutions.” And Regina had actually never decapitated a target (that was her mother, the whole Queen of Hearts off with their head! exclamation), so this would be a night of practice for her too. Experimenting with existing abilities meant they’d never stay stagnant. They’d always evolve. “In zombie apocalypses anyway, but I can’t imagine this being much different?”
The concept was hysterically cliche, though Regina wouldn’t deny the uncomfortable factor of creepy. This particular graveyard felt unsettling, the energies were completely off, like a violent game of ping-pong. Some tombstones looked disturbed. Mostly the dirt, which had been moved around, as if something had emerged from six feet below.
“We don’t get separated. Understood?”
The concept of a head going pop was, admittedly, a bit disturbing - but also appealed to Hans’s macabre sense of humor, and he chuckled. “We’ll see how well I do with that,” he decided, fingers nearly itchy with want to, as the kids say, fuck some shit up. “And no separation, it’s understood. I really don’t think that would be in our best interests.”
He stepped closer to one tombstone in particular, assessing the state of it - everything looked a mess, shuffled, turned upside down. “Ever get the feeling like you’re being watched?” A rhetorical question posed. Something was clearly amiss right now. They had walked right into the temporary residence of demon visitors.
Twigs snapped. The foul scent of nasty began to creep into the air; it suddenly just got a lot weirder around here.
“Oh, you mean like how we’re feeling now?” Those lioness eyes tightened, lips press tightly into a flat line as she hmmmmmmed. That’s when she noticed those predatory glimmers in the darkness, figures doing their best to blend in with the shadows. Almost worked if it weren’t for the clear vibe of bloodlust that clung around like suffocating humidity. Snarls cut through the silence, and the moonlight shed some revelation on their faces when they stepped closer - monstrous, hardly human-like things.
First there were about two. Then two became three, three became five, and then it became an outright party of the undead. Graveyards were quite the popular hangout for these uglies, weren’t they?
“If you have to damage the cemetery in self-defense,” she began, keeping a closeness to Hans. “Then damage it, by all means.”
Oh, look, they had company. A distinct and pungent sent of minty, rotting fish (yes, that’s exactly what it was - and it smelled revolting) swept through the cemetery grounds, swirling around them. Those ugly things with their black beads for eyes, flesh carved right from nightmares - it made Hans shudder, but he was all for the destruction of property at this point. Before, he’d have attempted to avoid it, but some things just couldn’t be helped.
“Duly noted,” he exhaled, sticking right by Regina’s side. Startled by the sudden leap of one (their nails were more like long talons, and they appeared to have the ability to crouch and jump like grasshoppers or something), he let loose with a scorching hot fireball.
It struck the demon, sizzling flesh melting like wax on a heated candle. Then more of that smell.
“And game on, I suppose.”
Soon the cemetery would look exactly like her lawn, how depressing. Adding scorching fire into the mix, burning off the decaying skin - the smell worsened if at all possible and Regina did her utmost to not fucking gag. Lessening the numbers was her main goal, and once they dwindled down to nothing but a handful…
Regina’s fingers curled upward, the ground concealing death shuddering beneath their feet as roots pulled from the ground. Neighboring trees came to life, their branches stretching out like arms and tangling the remaining stragglers - a couple demons, a vampire or two - caught into the snares of nature and hoisting them into the air.
Trapped.
“Moving targets might be a challenge at the moment,” she sneered. Killing all of them right away would be a waste. This was the perfect chance for Hans to expand on those abilities with live targets that needed eliminating anyway - she wouldn’t deny him the experience. “So let’s practice while they’re immobile, hm?” Hands tucked into her pockets for now, the magic keeping the tree’s limbs tight around them. “They’re very unsightly.” One of the demons, with a spiky head and about four eyes let out a ghiiiiiiiiiii! kind of sound. “And don’t speak English.”
“Hey, hey lady and her--are you a fucking cougar? Isn’t he a little young for you?!” One of the vampires, however, knew English and was rather rude.
A brow rose. “Apparently that one does, however, and I’m going to take that as a slight against my age.”
Hans’s mouth nearly fell open, curse words emitting - but he managed to keep it all together, lips pressed into a line, and show a little class. Besides the scorching display wherein he completely made demon flambé, but let’s not split hairs. The earthquake Regina had managed, a commanding hand to grab Mother Nature by the balls (?) and bend it all to her will, was impressive in its own right.
“Jealous?” he smirked, but he didn’t know why he was attempting to converse with a vampire. Could you snap a vampire’s neck and kill it? That didn’t seem to work on most, so after a moment of debate he went for one of the immobile demons, screeching like nails on a blackboard.
The telekinetic twist and crack of its bones was disgusting, but it shrieked no more. Instead hung limply in its tree branch prison, so he went for another, only that one didn’t go so well. A lot of uncalled for twist and pop this time, and guts and dark blood went everywhere. Head explosions weren’t pretty. Too much force? That wasn’t exactly decapitation. Well, he always had a lot of annoyance to vent. “I didn’t mean to do that,” he informed Regina, as another fresh wave of godawful stench assaulted their senses.
How sweet. His demonstrations had almost brought a tear to her eye (sarcasm, of course), because he had learned quite a bit, and making someone (or something’s) head go pop with just the twist of his fingers in the air, well. That was something even Regina hadn’t attempted and done successfully.
Bravo. Up until the splattering of brains, anyway - chunks of flesh and bone landing by their feet, close enough that she had to actually take a revolted step backwards. “How charming,” she grumbled. “I wonder if they’ve appointed a clean up crew for this? Because that’s something I refuse to volunteer for.”
Cutting through the air, not far off, was a shriek so shrill it could have shattered hundreds of mirrors. The sound of a girl, feet stomping against the Earth and fallen branches, screeching and being chased. Likely from another whatever these were, pathetic excuses for demonic matter. “You want to play hero? I didn’t have plans for indigestion tonight.” Regina’s head tilted to the direction. “Go on. I’ll take care of these and follow you. I thought these would actually be a harder, but…” Hans would be fine a couple seconds away, wouldn’t he? He had fire and the tricks of the mind at his disposal; he’d keep doing her proud.
“Ghiiiiiiiiiiii!” squealed another demon, its attempt at being menacing. So tempting to quake with fear in those designer boots, but she’ll pass.
Fingers twisting in the air, Regina began to choke it.
Was that...no. It couldn’t be. Hans squinted, surprise alight in olive eyes, because the closer the girl got - the source of that shrieking that rivaled a demon’s cry - it became more and more apparent that she was very familiar. Brightly-colored hair that was a mish-mosh rainbow beacon in the dark and...oh, hell. The skeezy addict from the now-defunct meth house they’d literally blown up. “Great, playing the hero,” he rolled his eyes. “I’m on it, I guess.”
Separating from Regina, he headed in the direction of the shrieking, and it was like the idiot girl brought a whole fresh wave of demons with her, RSVPing for the party. They were ambushed, a mess of her terrified, blood (and milk) curdling screams, and the ghiiiiiiiii nonsense from the demons which leaped and pounced. Shit. Hans was overwhelmed for a second there, unsure what to do - but Regina believed he could handle this, so he wanted to prove her right.
Scratched and clawed, clothing torn, he had enough of that and pushed them all off in a telekinetic wave - they went flying, and Rainbow Brite was still beating one with a very large branch that had fallen.
“Don’t worry, cupcake! I got this!” Did she just lick her lips?
“Shut up,” Hans snarled in frustration, as another fireball involuntarily exploded from him. Well, at least they’d have barbecued demon tonight.
Only a concoction of bleach and acid could cure Regina of the stench of demonic carnage, she was sure of it. Those tangled up in the trees were dealt with quickly and efficiently - she’d sent Hans to save the damsel, and from the sounds of it things had developed into some complications. Which meant she was going over there, now, in that quick method of transportation of purple cloud that took her from one location and plotted her to another for her choosing,
Behind the girl that had yelled in distress, the colors of her hair hitting Regina with a realization. “Did I just send you to save--” Oh, for fuck’s sake, she did. Rainbow Brite, with her jagged teeth and face punctures that tried to pass off as ‘piercings.’ Whatever, she hadn’t been her priority anyway, and she glanced at Hans to ease that pooling panic and concern. “Are you alright? You--ah, you almost caused a forest fire.”
“I’m good, I think,” Hans responded, now that he could stand up, wobble, catch his balance again. Rainbow Brite was still ‘impressively’ beating the dead horse (or the literal expired demon in this case) and he snarked at her, “It’s dead, idiot, you can stop poking it.” He wasn’t sure what had killed it - a combo of telekinetics or the near forest fire, but he wasn’t really going to put much consideration into it.
Surveying the scene, they seemed to have cleaned up nicely. Or caused more of a mess, but let’s not split hairs. He almost envied the druggie in their midst. Surely her nose was so fucked up by now, she didn’t notice the stench.
“What do we do about her?” he asked Regina, since was Rainbow Brite even allowed to know about these supernatural sorts of things? Mind wipe, maybe?
Rainbow Brite, the demon slayer. Who would have thought? “We could leave her,” she suggested, sparing a glance of some disgust over to their person of interest - she seemed distracted enough with those things. Lucky them. “I doubt anyone would believe her if she said anything about tonight. How do we not know she’s not blitzed out of her damn mind?”
All else fails, blame the drugs. They did meet her at a meth house, the assumption wasn’t a long stretch by any means, was it? “If I knew it was her, I think I would have taken my time offering her any help, to be honest,” Regina grumbled, then dusted some dirt and twigs of his shoulders - Hans was her main priority - and pulled him behind a couple trees. “And you look like hell, let’s--”
“Heeeeeeeeeeeeey, cupcake, where’d you gooooooooooo?”
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Hans cringed, because Rainbow Brite’s voice was the aural equivalent to a woodchipping machine. “I’d say leaving is probably our best bet at this point,” he agreed, and Regina was probably right - no one would believe her, not when she was already a druggie and likely had killed so many brain cells she shouldn’t even be functioning.
“And I could do with cleaning up.” Not to mention he kind of felt like hell too - because ambushed and slightly demon-pummeled didn’t exactly scream ‘pleasurable sensation.’ “The sooner the better. So let’s let her have her fun, and find civilization again.” The trees and the dead folk ambiance was nice and all, but he was ready to go, he decided, more dirt brushed from his hair. Ugh.
Already Regina had a couple things in mind to soothe those scratches and likely forming bruises - always like a mother hen, though she was always very selective of who was on the receiving end of maternal instincts. “You reek like a demon’s droppings, anyway,” she smirked. Though that could really go for both of them; that stench clung stubbornly, she was sure these were a set of clothes that probably weren’t salvageable no matter the wash cycles.
Quick, before the damn freak saw them! With a wave of her hand and purple smoke, poof! They were gone, right when Rainbow Brite pounced from behind the trees with an eager smile soon taken over by a look of utter disappointment.
“Hey,” she frowned, looking around pitifully. “Where’d cupcake go?”