Who: Gaz and Kitty. What: Painting. When: 4/13, after Gaz gets back in this thread. Where: A place Kitty rented for Gaz. Warnings: Gaz swears like a drunk sailor. Mention of NPC character murder and abuse. Status: Complete!
Kitty hadn’t been lying when she’d said she’d been looking for a place for Gaz to paint. She’d remembered the last place Gaz had had, and had found something that gave her lots of room to paint everything from regular paintings to massive murals and experimental pieces, complete with a loft apartment above the space. She’d had to get Logan to sign on it too, mostly because it was just easier that way. But time travel shenanigans had left her with a large fortune and she was enjoying being philanthropyish.
“What do you think? Already furnished in the loft, though you’ll probably want to replace some of that stuff with things that aren’t so… modern and white.”
“I’ll just paint them.” Gaz looked at Kitty, blinking. “You know I’m rich, right? You didn’t have to do this.” She’d repay Kitty by donating money, or helping out at the Ranch, something to even the score. “But thanks.”
“I forget about that.” Kitty grinned, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “But I came into a lot of money and what’s the point of money if you can’t help friends out? And I guess I got a little enthusiastic.”
“Want to help me paint?” Gaz had brought a bag filled with paints and brushes, and figured why not share furniture painting duty with her favorite person?
“Sounds good to me.” Kitty stretched, glad she’d worn something she wouldn’t mind getting paint on. She nudged Gaz with her elbow. “What are you going for. Dark, or explosion of color?”
“Both. Both is good.” Gaz set the bag down, looking at its contents. “Do you want a brush?”
“Probably better than hands,” Kitty replied. She cocked her hip, watching Gaz look through the bag. “I can’t remember the last time I had to fingerpaint. The kids are too old for that.”
“Too bad, it’s fun.” Gaz smiled; she liked the twins, and she missed them a little bit from time to time.
“We can see if they’d want to next time they visit.” As much as it pained her, Kitty had to accept that they were safer and better off living with her father. They had friends there, a life. She couldn’t just make them come back, but she was needed here. Torn responsibilities, and it sometimes tore her up inside.
“So lets make these things look pretty.”
Gaz nodded, taking out her palate and pouring paint onto it to make a pretty dark purple. She mixed it with a large brush, using the same one to start painting e chair. “They need you too, you know. The fact you haven’t abandoned them. It probably means a lot.”
“Then why does it feel like I’m abandoning them?” Kitty dabbed the brush so she could help painting. She picked a dresser that looked entirely too snooty for its own good. “It feels like I’m doing that with a lot of things.”
It was hard to explain, and it didn’t help that the Rachel in her head kept making very suggestive comments about what she and Gaz should do. I already made the french girl joke shut up.
Kitty’s face scrunched up. Are you seriously suggesting I make a move? I know it’s been like a year for me but its not fair to you. Okay so its not fair to me to wait on a what if but…
“You’re not. You talk to them, right? Making sure they’re safe isn’t abandonment. I know what that feels like.” Gaz gave Kitty her best ‘bitch please’ face.
“But what if I should be there. Be a mother to them.” Kitty almost splattered paint all over her face. “Maybe I should just ask them what they want.”
“They’d call you. And you could do that. That’s probably a good idea. Just ... you know I killed my dad, right?” Gaz looked at her best friend and sighed, running a paint-covered hand through her hair, not giving a shit.
“Yeah, I know that. I may not entirely agree with it but I’m not going to judge you. God knows I’ve done things I wouldn’t want to be judged for. But I’ve loved people who’ve done a lot worse. Fought with them, even left them. Always accepted them back. Maybe that makes me stupid, I don’t know” Kitty flicked some paint at Gaz. When she’d suggested the painting thing she’d meant actually painting her, like art. But this was fun too. “That happens you know? You have it out with someone, but in the end you hash it out. Life’s too short to let things fester.”
“Do you know why, though?” Gaz bit her lower lip. “He ... wasn’t good to me or Mom.” To an outsider it would’ve looked like Gaz was upset about having been abused as a child. Gaz would’ve laughed at that person; that shit was locked in a box, buried in the bottom of the ocean, never to be opened again. She just wanted Kitty to still like her. “I’m just saying. Dad used to kick the shit out of us then disappear for months. That’s abandonment. You’re a good mom. Any kid would be lucky to have you in their lives.”
Kitty stared at Gaz for a long moment, then wrapped her arms around her, paintbrush and all. “Sometimes I forget, that for all my own crap there are people who’ve had it worse than I have.” She squeezed Gaz tight, then moved to let go because she figured the other woman could only take so much unnecessary hugging. “Your dad was an ass.”
“Well, yeah. Before Mom died, she told me that she wished she’d been strong enough to kill Dad instead of herself. I figured that I owed her that much.” Gaz shrugged. “Nobody caught me or even cared, they didn’t even do an autopsy. So whatever.”
“Great, now I’m an accessory,” Kitty joked.
“Yup.” Gaz looked at Kitty, then sighed. “You’re a lot. To me.”
Kitty chewed on her lip. “I’m not gonna turn you in or anything. Maybe dream me would yell, but even she kind of gets over that kind of thing pretty easily these days.” She dotted Gaz’s nose with the paint brush. “You mean a lot to me too.”
“You’re my only friend, you know that?” Gaz sighed, not even wrinkling her paint splattered nose. “I’ve never had one before you.”
“You can’t be serious. I mean, not even someone when you were little?” There was a difference between ‘friend’ and ‘person you hang out with sometimes’, which was something that Kitty was painfully aware of. She suddenly felt like Gaz was showing a very fragile side and she was terrified of making her clam up.
Gaz shook her head. “I painted and looked after Mom. I went to special schools and everyone thought I was creepy anyway. I had a cat once?”
“Well now you have a Kate,” she replied, grinning at her own (terrible) pun. Kitty set aside the brush. “Who do you want to be? Besides a painter. Besides the creepy girl. Ever think about that?”
“Me, obviously.” Gaz blinked, not understanding the question.
“But who is Gaz? People are multi-faceted and can be a bunch of different things. I’m a mother, a teacher, a student. A killer, and an idealist, and a lot more. But I’m still trying to figure out who all that adds up to.”
“Kate.” Gaz blinked. “I think you overcomplicate things. It adds up to you. You are who you want to be. You pick all the things, and they make a ... it’s like colors. I can make whatever blue I want with different colors, but I don’t have to name it. It just is.”
“Thats kind of what I mean, though.” She smiled at Gaz, and trailed fingers down her cheek. “Maybe it doesn’t need a name. You’re right. It just is.”
“Are we gonna kiss now?” Gaz closed her eyes, just in case.
Kitty wet her lips, staring at Gaz's. She didn't know what to do. There was still Rachel and you didn't just forget someone who'd you'd nearly married. But Ray wasn't here. She was somewhen else, and the only advice that the echo in her head could give her was to be happy. She'd spent a year lost in another time, alone, but a part of her had hoped that Rachel would be there when she got back to 'now'.
Gaz was, ultimately, a lot less complicated than Kitty was but had still managed to turn everything upside down.
She leaned forward, voice barely a whisper and breathe warm on Gaz's lips. "I can't promise there won't be some complicated emotional bullshit on my part. But I've really.. always liked you more than I should."
“That’s why we work. You make shit complicated and emotional, and I just cut through that crap. You like me. I like you. So we kiss now.” Gaz leaned forward a little, pressing her lips to Kitty’s, smiling a little to herself.
Okay so blunt works, Kitty decided, running her hands into Gaz’s hair and kissing back. She felt like she had more she needed to say, and there were still issues going around in her head to worry about, but she put that out of her mind and tried to not groan too loudly. She didn’t want to give Gaz the satisfaction.
Gaz wasn’t aware that she was a good kisser or whatnot. She wasn’t a virgin to physical things, far from it, but she liked Kate, and she liked making Kate smile. That was really all there was to it.
Kitty smiled into the kiss, before pulling back a little bit. “So...what now?”
“Painting?” Gaz smiled to herself, cocking her head to the side.
“Well, we can’t leave your furniture half-painted. Although that would be quite the statement.” She laughed, pulling away and trying to pretend there weren’t butterflies in her stomach.
“Probably, yeah. A statement that I forget to do shit.” Gaz smiled, kissed Kitty again lightly, then resumed painting.