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Svetlana Sergievskaya causes lyrical chess wars (thegirlisme) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2015-04-19 09:47:00

Entry tags:

!complete, anatoly sergievsky, svetlana sergievskaya

Who: Anatoly and Svetlana, plus NPC!Christina
What: Recreating their first meeting in the dreams unintentionally
When: 19 April 2015, late morning/early afternoon
Where: Chess tables at a park
Warnings: Low, mentions of death
Status: Thread | Complete

The latest dream had been enough to startle Svetlana out of sleep and break her heart. She'd already lost one brother in the real world, and now to lose on in the dreams? She hadn't known how to react because calling Dmitri to check on him would alert her ever astute if extremely annoying brother that something was wrong. Which meant cleaning at an ungodly hour, rearranging things and then cooking breakfast for herself and Christina as she was looking after the girl for Helena while she was on a dig. And still she couldn't sit still.

Which was how the two ended up at the park. Christina had wanted to read outside and Svetlana needed the soothing motions of chess to clear her mind. She wasn't even thinking about the fact that Anatoly featured in her dreams, prominently. That was something else entirely. It made sense of his initial comment on the network, when she had teased him that he really needed to learn how to better interact with people but that he was improving. She hadn't expected marriage though. Or the tumultuous courtship. What it all had meant. And she didn't know what to think about any of it.

Sighing, the blonde made sure that Christina was in her line of vision even while she played a solitary game against herself. She needed to calm down. She felt jittery and on edge. There was too much going on. She'd already been worried about Duncan and now she could understand how he had felt, and she hadn't seen Dmitri die repeatedly, just prolonged. She was already worry about Helena because of the phone conversation they'd had when she'd been asked to look after Christina. How the British woman was going to send her daughter back to England once it was summer because she didn't trust herself. And now her worry for Dmitri. Her exhaustion from waking up and doing everything she had because she was afraid to close her eyes.

The trick was staying focused while keeping an eye on Christina. Though that was something she seemed to have picked up from the dreams. A deeper awareness of what was going on around her, having always been on guard for the KGB, always observing, always ready.

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haventwonatall
2015-04-20 07:23 am UTC (link)

Anatoly was taking a walk, trying to clear his head a bit. Even with Clara seemingly being a bit better than she had been, he was still worried. Thoughts of Dissociative Identity Disorder were heavy on his mind. He'd already appointed himself to keep an eye on Clara, to look for any other signs that she did indeed have DID. He knew the signs all too well, mostly in respect to his sister.

Of course, everything regarding his sister had been dredged up. He remembered the initial onset of DID, of how difficult things had been then. All Anatoly could say about those early days was at least his family had lived here in the United States. Had they still been in Russia, who knew what really would have happened to his sister. Here, he at least trusted the doctors and facility his sister was in. She was making progress, and he was more than glad to hear that. Perhaps one day he would be able to have his sister back.

Clara, however, was showing signs and throwing up red flags for him in this respect. He seriously hoped that it wouldn't turn into DID, she didn't deserve that kind of a fate, that kind of pain. Once a person fractured that much, it would take considerable effort to put them back together, and that was not a road anyone should have to walk.

Walking through the park, hands in his pockets, he drew in a breath and sighed it out softly. Lifting his head, he noticed Svetlana was sitting and playing chess with herself. He stood there only momentarily before he approached her.

"Do you mind if I join you?" He asked. Well, look at that, he managed a normal question with no awkwardness. Small miracles?

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thegirlisme
2015-04-20 04:13 pm UTC (link)

Despite her focus, Svetlana was aware of someone approaching her and while tensed, showed no sign of it at the time being. The constant vigilance from her dreams was sometimes exhausting, especially as Orange County tended to be much safer than other places she'd been, and certainly safer than Soviet Russia when dealing with the KGB and always having to toe the company line so as not to be denounced or anything of that nature. However, the voice that spoke did startle her some as Svetlana hadn't expected Anatoly.

Not that she expected many people. But she'd have rather it Dmitri, to get the proof she needed that he was indeed alive and that the dream was just a dream. She knew it was just a dream, but that didn't make it any less painful and worrisome. All the while, she couldn't let her brother know she was worried or what had caused it. So Anatoly being there? Both a disappointment yet a relief. She'd never had issue with anyone who asked her to play when she was playing herself, but it was some sort of familiarity she hadn't quite realized she needed.

"Be my guest."

Motioning to the empty seat in front of her, the Russian woman looked to where Christina was, engrossed in her book before she set up the board again. Oh right, she was white this time around, so she made her opening move without thinking much about it. Now it was time to see what Anatoly's opening move would be.

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haventwonatall
2015-04-28 08:15 am UTC (link)

Normally he probably would not have bothered her, but at the moment, he felt like some company. So when she didn't turn him away, he gave a nod and sat down opposite her. His mind was only partially present. He was rather worried about Clara. Not to mention he was worried about his sister as well, but he was always worried about his sister. He would need to go visit his sister again in the near future, to see how she was progressing.

Anatoly did, however, catch the look Svetlana gave to a dark-haired girl sitting not that far off with a book. That was a bit unexpected. Given the lack of any other adult being near the girl and Svetlana having looked at her, Anatoly gathered she was watching the girl for someone. So he didn't question just yet, instead he turned his attention to the chess board and saw Svetlana's opening move.

Without really thinking about it, Anatoly made his opening move. Which simply happened to be rather like his opening move in a chess game they had played together in his dreams. Now, he wasn't going to bring up the subject of dreams because, well, the last time he'd said anything he'd been less than eloquent about it. Plus he didn't want to make Svetlana feel uncomfortable, so he'd keep his mouth shut on that matter, anyway.

Unless Svetlana brought it up, then he'd say something about them. But for the time being, he fell into silence as he waited for Svetlana's next move. It wasn't uncomfortable silence. He felt comfortable enough around Svetlana to not have to fill the air with words that would undoubtedly come out wrong anyway. Anatoly was talented like that, after all.

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thegirlisme
2015-04-28 03:59 pm UTC (link)

It was one thing to show up and ask to play. Svetlana didn't mind that. But to see Anatoly do the same move he did in the dreams, the one from their first meeting? That startled her. Svetlana already knew that Anatoly had dreamt of her, which made sense he'd have dreamt about the chess game but for him to actually do that move? That was more shocking than it probably should have been. Not to mention it threw Svetlana off as well.

So why she did her following move from the dreams? Svetlana wasn't completely sure. Curiosity? See if Anatoly realised what she was doing? See if he had learned anything from them? Really, it was a toss up, especially as Svetlana herself didn't know exactly why she had decided to make that move.

The silence was comfortable, then again Svetlana tended to hate small talk, so sitting in silence was quite normal for her. But there was always an air of uncomfortableness for others that she picked up on when it happened. That wasn't happening here. Perhaps it was just because they already knew one another on a professional level as well as a familiar one. Perhaps it was some sort of dream bleed over thing. Svetlana didn't know, nor was she going to question it.

However, throughout the game, she did notice that Anatoly seemed distracted.

"You're troubled by something. And it's not the game or it's familiarity."

It was the closest Svetlana would get at that moment in regards to saying that yes, she had started the dreams and yes, she understood the significance of the way they had been moving the pieces on the board. Even as she spoke, her gaze was still on the board itself.

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haventwonatall
2015-05-05 12:46 am UTC (link)

The move Svetlana made went totally unnoticed by Anatoly. In fact, all of his moves went unnoticed. There was no moment where he realized he was making the same moves as he had in one of his dreams. His mind was otherwise distracted.

He was worried.

Alright, more than worried, really. Clara was showing signs that deeply concerned him both on a professional and personal level. Anatoly was a worrier by nature, it had simply been a long time since he'd been this worried about someone. He was, of course, hoping that Clara's dreams would resolve themselves and that she'd be fine again with some time. However, he was going to do his best to try and keep a line of communication between them open. He wouldn't actually do anything to make her come to talk to him in a professional matter, but he would make the offer if he ever thought she needed one in that capacity.

Until then, he'd keep his concerns on a personal level.

As it was, he looked up at Svetlana when she spoke, a bit of a confused look on his face. However, he couldn't exactly refute the assertion. He looked down at the board, really looked at it this time, and it was then that it hit him how the game had gone. It was one from the dreams. Every piece was in the same place as it had been in the dream. That surprised him even more because that meant that Svetlana had started dreaming.

Didn't it?

Or was he reading into that too much? Whichever it was, he gave his head a little shake to clear it.

"Sorry, I am worried about Clara. She is showing signs that are...very troubling." That was possibly putting it mildly, but it was the best way to put it at the moment. "She is showing some signs similar to what my sister had."

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thegirlisme
2015-05-05 12:59 am UTC (link)

And there was a look of recognition at the way the game had gone. Interesting. Not just that he hadn't seemed to realise it before, but also that she was able to read his minute expressions. Yes, she was very good at reading people, it came from all of her people watching, but that level? Well... it was something she wasn't quite sure on how to respond to or handle. It was... well, something.

Though the fact that he mentioned Clara? That was more of a shock to her. True, it might not be Clara as in Duncan's father, but there was no such thing as coincidence and as he seemed to figure she would know just who it was he was talking about? She had a feeling that it was in fact Duncan's daughter. The daughter her friend had mentioned seeing die. Repeatedly. Sighing, she just nodded as her gaze flickered to where Christina remained, engrossed in her book before looking back to Anatoly.

"If my conversation with her father is any clue, my guess is that it ties into the dreams. I do not know her that well, we've crossed paths but I am closer to her father, so I really couldn't say if something is off."

Which okay, there was a large age difference between her and Duncan whereas she and Clara were only a few years apart. But that was how it was. She felt closer to Duncan than Clara, though the fact Duncan reminded her of Erik? That undoubtedly had something to do with it. She also knew how tied Anatoly was to his sister. If it was anything like in the dreams, she knew that her dying had spurred him into being a doctor, and she knew that something similar had happened here, only in regards to psychiatry instead.

"She's a strong girl, though. She'll pull through."

Or so she figured. It was the feeling she got from when Duncan would talk about her, that the girl always found a way to bounce back, regardless of what life threw at her. True, she also avoided things, but she always bounced back.

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haventwonatall
2015-05-05 01:59 am UTC (link)

Likewise, Anatoly was surprised that Svetlana knew Clara's father. However, he didn't say anything on that matter. He himself didn't know Clara's father and couldn't exactly comment on that. He scratched his head a bit, his hair being slightly more unruly than it typically was. Which was potentially saying something given it was curly and unruly typically.

"She had said it was something in her dreams. I did not press as she wasn't willing to discuss the topic much. That and I don't think she had the words to talk about it." Some things just went beyond description, after all. It was, of course, something he had plenty of experience with. Though the fact he hadn't gone psychologist on Clara was commendable. That wasn't to say he wasn't tempted, but he had exercised restraint, at least.

"I do hope so. Nevertheless, I will keep an eye on her. I will not be a psychologist at her unless she continues spiraling the way she has been. But I do think she has plenty of people here who care about her and can help her before it gets to that point."

Or that was at least his hope. Anatoly would hope that Clara's father would be helpful there, as well as the other people Clara was close to. But Anatoly had gotten the sense that Clara was resilient, it would simply take some time for her to sort out whatever had happened in her dreams, the same way he was sorting out his own dreams.

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thegirlisme
2015-05-05 02:08 am UTC (link)

Svetlana well knew that people trying to force help on others would not do any good, it was the same advice she had given Duncan when he had discussed seeing Clara die. That he was exercising restraint but that it was hard and it was only knowing he'd make things worse that kept him from saying anything. So really, the fact Anatoly hadn't gone into psychologist mode was quite impressive. She knew from the dreams he had a tendency to go into doctor mode at the slightest provocation, especially if it reminded him of Natasha.

"From what I was told, I imagine that no, she would not want to talk about it."

True, Svetlana didn't have all the information. In fact, she figured it was just death related. That enough was hard to come up with the words for. Add in the apparent time travelling that was a thing of the dreams from what she'd gathered from Duncan? Well. It was a lot to keep in.

"Shocking."

Was that a jab at his tendency to hover and worry? Yes. But still. She really did have to applaud the fact that Anatoly was holding back in regards to not jumping right into psychologist mode and she didn't even mask the fact she was poking at that particular tendency of his.

"Still, that is all you can really do at the moment. It is the same thing I told her father. Until she is ready to talk, there isn't much that can be done."

For someone who didn't actively talk to people and spent most of her time observing, Svetlana was well versed in how to handle these sorts of situations. Mostly because she was notoriously stubborn when it came to accepting the help of others when she was hurting.

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haventwonatall
2015-05-12 07:33 am UTC (link)

Anatoly more than knew that forcing help on people who either were not ready for it or did not want it was the worst thing to do. He'd learned that early on in his schooling to become a psychologist. Just because he may wish to help someone didn't mean he actually could. And sometimes, even when someone came to him for help, he still couldn't. He had lost a couple patients through no fault of his own. Not everyone made it out to the other side, and that was the harsh reality a psychologist had to accept early on in their careers.

"Not surprising." Considering the dodging Clara had done, after all. At the jab, he just looked at Svetlana, then shrugged a bit. "I know I am able to jump into that mode easily. Perhaps this will help me build up some restraint on the matter."

Or perhaps it was the fact that Clara reminded him of his sister, which he wasn't even consciously aware of yet. And it wasn't just because of the similarity of DID symptoms either. There were other things that she had in common with his sister.

"No, there is not. I shall hope that the problem resolves itself or that she finds a way to deal with it without needing a psychologist." At this rate, Anatoly wondered just how many people who dreamt in this place would end up in his office trying to come to terms with some trauma that happened in their dreams.

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thegirlisme
2015-05-12 03:34 pm UTC (link)

"Disturbingly easily."

At least it was disturbing to Svetlana who wasn't used to such mother hening, even from Erik or Dmitri in the Dreams. Neither world was she used to it, and so she would tease Anatoly about it. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it was necessary, but as Svetlana had often been the one to suffer it, teasing him about it was necessary. She didn't even realise she was doing so, not consciously. It was just one of those things that came naturally to her, that just made sense.

"I'm sure she will though."

Not that Svetlana actually knew Clara, just what she'd been told. So perhaps she wouldn't seek out help, but with so much family there, she had a hard time that the younger woman would be able to escape it for long. Though she did tilt her head to side as she observed Anatoly, expression critical. Because she knew him. Or a version of him. She knew both, just one a bit ( a lot) better and so it was giving her insight.

"This goes deeper than just because you worry and are her friend though."

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haventwonatall
2015-05-15 12:58 am UTC (link)

Anatoly was rather used to the teasing by this point, so he'd just take it. And really, he couldn't quite help the mother hen thing. It simply was just how he'd always been. It just seemed to have gotten worse after his sister had fallen ill and he'd started studying to be a psychologist. It played right into his need to help people. And when he personally cared about the people he wanted to help, well, it made it all the worse.

"She is a strong woman," he said. Anatoly didn't need to be convinced of that, it had been rather easy to tell that about Clara. It was kind of difficult to miss her spirit in their interactions. One would have to be blind, deaf and mute to miss that, really. And Anatoly may have his moments of being mute, but he definitely wasn't blind or deaf.

Though at Svetlana's statement, he looked at her. Sometimes it frightened him just how easily she read him. Not that it was terribly difficult to read Anatoly. He was quiet and subdued, yes, but he tended to be easy to read as far as for what he was feeling. Sometimes his propensity to wear his heart on his sleeve got him in trouble. And sometimes, like now, it allowed people to ascertain a deeper lying issue.

"She reminds me of my sister, from before my sister became ill." Anatoly is just going to ignore the physical similarities for the time being. He didn't exactly need that at the moment. "They have a similar spirit in them." Sometimes he got to see it in his sister when she was in control during his visits to her. And he did miss his sister, and hoped one day to see her be reintegrated and be able to live a life again.

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thegirlisme
2015-05-15 01:18 am UTC (link)

The look was just met with a quirked brow. After all, it was not as if Svetlana hadn't been known to pick up on the things Anatoly was thinking before. She just... seemed to have a better ability to do so? It wasn't something she was putting much thought into at the moment though. Was this something that anyone would have picked up on? Or was it something that Svetlana just.. did, as if she had some sort of understanding of him that went beyond their working relationship and acquaintanceship.

"Ah... That explains it then."

Because she knew how much anything that reminded him of Natasha could set him off in worry when it came to the dreams. A cough and suddenly she had tuberculosis. "Strange in a way... her father reminds me of my brother."

How was it that a father and daughter could have similarities to their siblings? That was also something else to wonder about. Not that it really mattered. It was just interesting to her. There were enough parallels in her family life that the fact they both had someone here who reminded them of siblings was rather strange. Or at least had to have some sort of meaning.

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haventwonatall
2015-05-20 01:10 am UTC (link)

Anatoly wasn't paying much attention to how Svetlana could read him at the moment. He mostly just chalked it up to the fact that Svetlana did know him. He also wasn't the best at hiding these sorts of things about himself. At least not in this life. Anatoly's heart tended to be on his sleeve far more often than not.

Comparing this life to the life he dreamt of in the dreams, he far favored having this life. At least in this world, Natasha was alive and had a chance to come home one day. In the dreams, she'd died, and it seemed his dream self never stopped feeling that loss. Watching someone you loved die was never easy, and Anatoly had been a mother hen before Natasha had died. The mother hen tendencies seemed to be a common trait between him and his dream self.

"Truly? That is strange in a way."

Because stating the obvious of what Svetlana had just said was what Anatoly did best. But he said it mostly as he turned the thoughts over in his head. A father and daughter here, who were also dreaming, reminded him and Svetlana of their siblings. That was indeed something to ponder.

"Perhaps it is simply another way of how Orange County is explicitly strange."

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thegirlisme
2015-05-20 04:25 am UTC (link)

Svetlana really didn't know which life she preferred, though probably this one. For one thing, it was more familiar, more real. Though she'd still lost a brother, and she was now worried that Dmitri would follow suit because of the Dream. That sometimes seeing Erik in the Dreams hurt just because he was gone and never coming back. But she had more freedom, was doing actual good as opposed to working in a factory and leaving with constant fear.

Well no, that paranoia and fear did bleed over. She was far more aware of her surroundings now. But still.

And to the stating of the obvious in regards to the things she said. Well, typical. Though given what they were discussing, and how they had people here who paralleled their own family who in fact were family? It was complicated and worth a second thought.

"Perhaps."

Noticing the position of the sun, Svetlana sighed.

"I should be leaving now. It was nice to see you, Anatoly." Thankfully no slipping in calling him Toly because well, that would be awkward and it was awkward enough dreaming about being married to him and how connected they were there. No. Ignore that. "I'm sure our paths will cross again."

Or she would have more dreams and questions. Who knew. Picking up her tea, the blonde went to Christina so that they could head back to the apartment.

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