Literally Pirateninja (shadowcat) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-03-21 23:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, alyssa hamilton, kitty pryde (shadowcat) |
Burning bridges doesn’t work.
Who: Kitty and Alyssa
what: Old friends catch up, confide, Alyssa lets Kitty stay with her.
When: Day Kitty got back
Where: Alyssa's house
Rating: PG
Kitty opted to drop by Alyssa’s late. She sat on her motorcycle, running her fingers along the handles as it idled completely silent. She wasn’t sure what her hold up was. She still felt very out of sorts and even seeing many of her friends again hadn’t really helped. She’d spent an hour on the phone with the twins and as much as she wanted to see them again they’d all decided to let them finish the school year in Illinois this time.
“Shush,” she muttered to the voice in her head. “Get back into your box.”
She swung off the bike and jogged up to Alyssa’s door, and knocked. She hoped she wasn’t interrupting anything.
Alyssa heard the knock and all but ran to the door. She was in her PJs - a huge t-shirt - but Kitty was welcome any time. She grinned when she saw her dearest friend, and wrapped her arms around her. “And where do you get off, worrying us all?”
Kitty laughed, hugging Alyssa tightly. “Oh you know. Cross time capers, alternately fixing and breaking the time line, all part of being an X-man.” She buried her face into Alyssa’s shoulder and tried to fight off a wave of emotion. “Stop the bus I want to get off.”
“What’s wrong? I mean, besides the obvious.” Alyssa rubbed Kitty’s back as they hugged, smiling sadly.
“Everything. Nothing.” She pulled back and ran her fingers through her hair. “Trying to remember what normal felt like. And the messed up thing is I like it when it’s not always normal. Is that crazy? Am I crazy?”
“I’m not that far along in my courses, but I don’t think so.” Alyssa shepherded Kitty into the house, moving toward the kitchen. “Beer? Logan leaves loads here.”
“Course he does.” She nudged Alyssa with her elbow, then sank into a kitchen chair. “Half the beer in my fridge is for him. Oh god, I hope my apartment is still there.”
“If it’s not, you can stay here. This house is far too big to live in by myself anyway, and you know I’d love to have you.” Alyssa went to grab them each a beer, popping the tops against the kitchen counter.
“I’ll think about it. The kids are going to stay with my dad until summer, at least.” That had really been the worst part about getting lost in the timestream. Not being there for the twins. At least she’d tried to do a few things that might help them out. She hadn’t been kidding about that Apple stock. Reaching for the beer, she knocked back a long swig. “Haven’t had a beer in a month!”
“Why not? No beer in crazyland?” She smiled, reaching out to squeeze Kitty’s hand. “It really is good to see you, you know. And take your time. My house is always open to you, no matter what.”
“Not the last place I ended up.” She took another swig, then decided to take it slow after that. “We kept trying to find a way back, ended up different places, different times. Then she threw me ahead by myself and…” Kitty shrugged, like she’d had to come to terms with that. “Tell me about you. What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing you’d want to hear about,” Alyssa smiled. It was a sad, thin thing, and her fingers drummed against the counter idly. Not wanting to burden Kitty with worries, Alyssa tried to think of nice things in her life. “Back at uni.”
“Still studying to be a shrink?” She reached over to still Alyssa’s hands. She was well versed enough in subject changes to understand, but she mercifully didn’t pursue any line of questioning.
“Oh yes.” Alyssa smiled, looking down at Kitty’s hands over hers. “Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake moving back here. But you’re here now, so it’s better.”
“I think it’s a little too soon to decide if something is a mistake or not. A lot of times things don’t shake out for awhile, even if they don’t look good to begin with. They can easily turn around and look better.” Kitty smiled back. “And I’m the most pessimistic person you know.”
“I highly doubt that, I know a lot of people.” Alyssa shivered a little. “I’m going to go get a jumper, be right back.” She padded to her room, coming back in a thick woolen sweater as well, looking a bit younger than usual. “But really. If you want to live here, I’d be chuffed.”
“Maybe I’ll stay for a few weeks.” Or maybe even until summer. It all really depended on if the kids even wanted to come back to Orange County. Which was a depressing thought. “Thanks.. I promise I won’t be a bother.”
She tilted her head, then tugged Alyssa over and into her lap, hugging her hard. Because she looked like she needed a hug.
“Of course you won’t be a - eep!” Alyssa laughed, wrapping her arms around Kitty, burying her head in her shoulder. “We’ll make Lockheed a nest of panties or something,” she murmured, voice muffled. She didn’t want to cry on her best friend. It had hit her, suddenly, how much she’d missed Kitty.
“Oh come on, he’s not that pervy. He’s just protective.” She brought a hand up to Alyssa’s hair and stroked it. She’d missed her too. A lot of her friends had… disappeared, really. Left to go other places. And she was certain there was more than even that. After all, Jubilee and herself had both gotten stuck in the wrong time and there was no telling what else was different, or who else was missing. “I’m really, really glad I didn’t accidentally erase our friendship or something.”
“Well, we can figure something out.” Alyssa felt herself relaxing, and she chuckled through the tears that had started to fall. “If you’d erased our friendship, I think we’d just start over. You’re too important to me.” Alyssa had never had siblings, but she thought Kitty was the closest thing she’d ever know when it came to sisters.
Kitty laughed. "That's probably true. I'm pretty sure some friendships can cross over lifetimes or universes." She squeezed Alyssa with her other arm and rested her face in her hair. "You can't leave without a proper good bye, if there's a next time."
“I won’t. I just - Mum was sick, and I didn’t know what to do.” Alyssa’s heart ached sometimes, wanting her life to just go back to what it was. She’d been happy, and now there were huge stretches of time where she just wasn’t.
“I should have visited, or something. Maybe you wouldn’t have felt alone.” Kitty shook her head, then rubbed Alyssa’s back and squeezed her again. “But you’re not alone now.”
“I’m always going to be a little bit alone. Sometimes ... I don’t know, what I am makes me different. It’s dangerous to be around me, and I know I’ll have to push people away sometimes. It makes me nervous to let anyone in too much.” Well. Kitty and Logan excepted, but even then, she didn’t feel as carefree as she had in the past.
Kitty sighed. A lot of what Alyssa was saying sounded painfully familiar, like it was something she’d heard before - or even said before. “Hon, it’s normal to feel that way, especially when you’ve got any sort of power or gift. But we’re also human. Really frail, and really emotional, and trust me when I say isolating yourself isn’t the answer.”
“I don’t. I’m just fully prepared to burn all my bridges and flee, should I have to.” Alyssa chuckled, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.. “Good lord, I’m turning into Logan.”
“Well we definitely don’t want that.” Kitty smirked at her. “Burning bridges doesn’t work. It just kind of makes things worse.”
“I found that out when I went back to London.” Alyssa had missed her life in California. It was why she’d moved back. “Do you need to go shopping for anything? Or is your stuff still all here? Alyssa Taxi is at your service. I’m not as good as Clarice, but it’s a bit less jarring.”
Kitty wondered whatever happened to whatshisface, but knew better than to ask. “Everything is present and accounted for. I really just need my computer stuff, some clothing, and a few emotionally compromising items.”
“We can go get all of that. Just let me know when you want to go so I can get dressed.” Nobody needed to see her in her jammies. “We should probably eat as well.” Alyssa tended to forget sometimes.
“Lets get some food in your belly.” Kitty nudged Alyssa out of her lap and got up. “And thank you, I appreciate this.”
“That goes both ways, Kitty. I’m just glad you’re home.” Alyssa smiled, ruffling Kitty’s hair before walking toward the kitchen. It would be nice to not be alone in the house.