Kevin Flynn just wrote your favorite game (greetngsprogrms) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-03-18 23:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | kevin flynn, rarity |
Who: Kevin and Rachel Flynn
When: March 5th
What: Kevin has dreams about being a dad. THE Dreams.
Rating: Medium
Status: Complete
Kevin smiled over at his wife before sipping on his Thai Iced tea. They'd ordered in, (actually it was more like him picking it up on his way home from work), and Kev had made sure he'd ordered plenty of the addictive Thai Iced tea Rachel loved so much. He was hoping the comfort food might keep at bay her overreaction to what he had to tell her about his dreams.
"This is good," he said around a mouthful of pad Thai. He was trying to work out the best time to bring it up; he'd been dreaming again after a long absence of them. Only what he'd dreamt about wasn't exactly what he'd expected.
Rachel was curled up in her pajamas. When she’d gotten the text messages from her husband earlier today talking about Thai food, she’d come home early, gotten changed, and planned a nice, romantic evening in. Movies, candles, maybe a hot, steamy bath later… and definitely Pad Thai. She sipped from her own Thai Iced Tea.
“Isn’t it? Hits the spot, really.” She beamed, then leaned over and pressed a kiss against his lips.
Kevin hadn't been expecting the romantic set up when he walked through the door. Normally he would have really enjoyed this. But he had to tell Rachel what had happened; like her friend had said to him on Valar, the longer he kept it to himself the more jealous Rachel would get. Man, the candles and kissing weren't making this any easier.
He returned the kiss and then got up to clear the empty containers and plate. "You finished?" He called from the kitchen over the sound of water running and the garbage can slamming. Kevin tended to wolf down his food like he hadn't eaten in weeks and so nearly always finished before his wife did.
“Yes!” Rachel’s container wasn’t quite empty. She always left a little behind. She didn’t want to over-fill herself. Besides, she had to cut back on calories somehow. (Yes. Rach was vain. This was nothing new.) She leaned back on the sofa, setting aside her iced tea. “God, that was good.” It was almost her post-sex moan-y tone. Almost. A huge, delicious meal was almost as satisfying.
Kevin chuckled as he came over to get her container, arriving just in time for her commentary on dinner. He leaned over behind the couch and planted a kiss on her upside down forehead. “You sound like you just had sex instead of dinner.” He moved around the couch to clean up. “Should I be jealous?”
“Well, you were the cause of that moan.” Rachel grinned as she looked up and over at him. “Come sit,” she added, reaching one hand up and over to tug him down onto the sofa with her. He didn’t need to fuss right away about cleaning up.
"I should get you Thai more often," he laughed.
"Yes ma'am," Kevin chuckled and let Rachel pull him down onto the couch. He landed next to her with a flop. Looking over at her the anxiety returned as a knot in his stomach. He sat up and lay a long arm along the back of the couch so his fingers just reached the back of Rachel's neck, playing with her hair at the nape.
His look got a little more serious. "Babe, um, I had some more dreams and I need to talk to you about 'em." The knot in his stomach tightened as he said the words.
Rachel took hold of one of his hands and laced their fingers together. “If you want to make me fat, sure.” She grinned, leaning her head against his shoulder. But the serious turn made her sit up just a little and she frowned.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Concern instantly crossed her features.
"What? I'm fine." Kevin said, startled by her assuming the worst. "I'm just..." He sighed and threaded his other hand through his unruly blonde hair. "Rachel, I don't want you to freak out or anything, because remember it's just the Dreams." Though if dream wifey and junior show up in the OC all hell could break loose, he thought to himself. "I uh, dreamt that I had a wife...and a son." He cleared his throat, nervous as to his real life wife's reaction. Blue eyes searched her face and skipped away from it as if lingering were too dangerous a thing to risk.
Rachel was a little relieved when he said he was fine, but then he went on acting funny and scaring her. Too many scary things had happened around Orange County lately for her liking. But then he said something that truly took her by surprise.
She just sat and stared at him for a moment. “...you’re married?”
"I'm...well...yeah." He said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But it's in the Dreams. You're my wife, Rach." He said quickly, sitting up straight and taking her hands in his.
Rachel’s face broke into a frown as she stared at Kevin. This was hard for her little brain to wrap around. She blinked a few times, trying to figure out how she was supposed to be feeling. “...you love her in the Dreams?” ...did that sort of thing carry over?
Uh oh. She was frowning. That particular frown was her jealous frown, the first salvo in what could be a dramatic tirade if Kevin didn't play his cards right.
"I don't love her," he stated adamantly, "But dream me does. 80's Kevin Flynn does." Perhaps he would go with that distinction from now on. Sounded better. His blue eyes were pleading with Rachel to understand.
“But the feelings from the Dreams bleed over.” She said. Rachel didn’t like this. She knew how her friendships in the dreams affected her real life, and those were just friendships. If Kevin had a love in his dreams, that was a stronger emotion than friendship. It must affect him more here?
“What? Babe, I’m not any different than when you first met me. These dreams haven’t given me any extra emotions or feelings for people. It’s given me cool tech, and okay, knowledge on how to code better, but that’s it. I swear.” He knew she could get emotional after having her dreams about Ponyville and stuff. He had chalked that up to her being Rachel, he’d never considered a bleed over of emotions or attachments from the dream world. He’d have to scout out Valar and see if people posted about stuff like that.
He was surprised Rachel was more concerned about his emotional attachment to his dream wife, than the fact that he’d had a child with said dream wife. That was a conversation he and Rachel hadn’t even had yet, shockingly enough.
“Okay.” She still wasn’t convinced. She had to think about all that he’d just told her. Weigh everything. Rachel wasn’t all that great at internalizing things. It might take her some time. “You… became a dad, huh?” She asked, turning her eyes down to her fingernails.
That downward gaze just killed him. He watched as she fiddled with her fingers. "Yeah." He said it quietly, not helping the sudden shift from skepticism to...he wasn't sure what but it felt like a sad jealousy. Like his dream self had robbed them of celebrating being parents together for the first time. "Um, it was a boy. Sam." He didn't know why he said it, it probably wasn't helping. He wanted to just tell Rachel everything so she knew the context but he kept his mouth shut. She was already overwhelmed, he could see. Information overload would only end in tears.
"Rachel, I..." words failed him. He didn't know what to say or do. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all and both Tony and Rachel's friend had been wrong about this.
“Sam.” Rach repeated after him. She wondered what Kevin’s son would look like. She wondered what his wife looked like, too. Would Sam take after his dad? Would he be as handsome and carefree? Would he be as loving? Did this mean that Kevin… what? Wanted kids? Didn’t want kids? Rachel was at a total loss now. Did this become a been there, done that thing that Kevin didn’t want any part of now? Or was he ready now because he’d had the dreams?
She had so many things to think about. She wasn’t even sure where to start.
“...Was it… amazing?” She asked, finally, lifting her face to look at him. Her eyes had welled up, but she wasn’t crying. Not yet. “Was it everything you’d dreamed it would be?”
Oh god. Don't to this Rachel, please. he begged inwardly. He didn't know how he felt, only what his dream self had felt. And it was amazing, creating a new life, a real one that wasn't made of code and computers. He'd been so proud, so ecstatic, it was practically an out of body experience holding the screaming infant. His son. Their son. 1980s Kevin and Jordan Canas' son.
Crap it was getting all existential up in his head.
His heart broke as he looked at his real life wife, who was milliseconds away from bursting into tears. He hadn't asked for these dreams, he didn't relish the fact he knew what it was like to have that moment of unspeakable joy ahead of Rachel, ahead of when he was ready for it. If he wasn't near tears himself, he'd be pissed off at how unfair it was. In fact, deep down that was precisely how he felt; cheated and mad as hell.
"Whatever I felt in those dreams were the other Kevin's feelings." He asserted, keeping his own burning tears at bay. "So as far as I'm concerned, they don't count." He was talking in his more adamant, take charge tone he usually reserved for the boardroom. He took Rachel's hands in his. "I love you Rachel. You, and ONLY you. And so help me god I want to make babies with you so we can know what it's like to be proud new parents."
Rachel shook her head once, but then stopped. Two giant, alligator tears spilled out of her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. “...I don’t know.” She said, freeing her hands from his grip and lifting them to wipe at her face. She didn’t want to cry. This wasn’t his fault. He didn’t choose these Dreams, and he made the right choice in telling her about it. But it wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t her fault, either.
“...I don’t… I… God.” She wiped at her face again, trying to stop tears. “I want to make babies, too, I just… I’m not ready for that. Not now.” And now that he’d had one in the Dreams, he’d had something she hadn’t. Would he want it now more than her? Was this going to drive them apart? Now she was terrified. And she couldn’t stop the tears this time.
Kevin managed, just barely managed, to blink away his own tears, keeping them from falling down his face. But Rachel had completely dissolved into outright crying. How had this spiralled out of control into...this? Hadn’t he said the right thing that most women wanted to hear? He blinked stupidly for a moment, confused. He wasn’t sure which would have been worse to deal with: her getting unreasonably angry with him for getting married and having a family in dreams he couldn’t control, or her being incredibly….sad? Scared? Emotional over who was ready to have kids when.
He focused on his wife’s face; tear-stained, flushed, full of fear. He scooted closer to her and pulled Rachel tenderly into his arms, trying to soothe her.
"Hey, hey I'm not ready either. I just thought...if you were ready I'd be game for it. It's not like the baby would appear instantly, we'd still have nine months to go." He kissed the top of her head. He wasn't sure if he was telling the truth about not being ready. The dreams had muddled his thoughts on the subject. He didn't know how long Rachel needed, he just hoped it wouldn't be too long. Because he wanted kids, he wanted to leave a legacy like his father had done with him. Even in his dreams on the day Sam had been born, he’d come that realization.
Sad, scared and emotional were three words that Rachel was feeling in that moment. Definitely. She was fighting the tears, fighting her emotions, trying not to feel whatever it was she was feeling. Devastated, really. He'd gone through it all, had so much--firsts that she'd wanted to have with him together, firsts she knew she would never have without him.
And now it wasn't a first for him. He'd done it all before. Rach felt like they'd both been cheated out of something precious. And it hurt.
"I don't know if nine months is long enough. I have things I want to do, you know? Things I want to accomplish. And I want to make sure we do them before we're chained down, but... But I don't..." She frowned, took a deep breath, and sighed it out.
Kevin totally understood what Rachel meant about time. It seemed that even without kids in the picture their plans got interrupted, the most recent their honeymoon in Paris. Kevin had been shocked Rachel had been willing to leave when fashion week, something he knew she'd always wanted to see, was only a few days away. But when she'd explained to him why, there was no way he could deny her when it was abundantly clear her love for her friends outweighed her personal wish list. For her to prefer to man a shoe store in Orange County while her friend was missing as opposed to being in the front lines of fashion in Paris, showed one of the many reasons Kevin loved her so much: her big heart. Other women might have stayed and simply waited for word on the friend, but not Rachel.
"You don't what, sweetheart?" It was a word he rarely used, and only in the most tender of moments.
"I don't want to let you down." Rachel said, softly. "If you want to start a family... we're a team. A partnership. We can talk about it. Work it out." She finally reached forward and took hold of his hand again. "I love you." She needed to say it, and to hear him say it.
Kevin smiled a little as he rested his chin on top of her head a moment. "You could never let me down, Rachel." As she went on to talk about working it out, he looked down at her, intertwining his fingers with hers. "I love you too." He nuzzled the side of her head and kissed her softly there. "We'll work something out. Besides," he smiled into her hair and whispered into her ear, "we still have to finish our honeymoon in Paris. Gotta climb those steps."
Rachel couldn’t help but break into a smile at the feel of his nose in her hair, chuckling softly at his comment about the steps. “That we do.” She said, and turned to steal his lips in a passionate kiss. They would work it out. They could get past this. She would try not to let her jealousy of his Dream Wife or his experiences there get the better of her.
Kevin kissed her in return with equal passion, which started to flame into desire. He loved Rachel with all his heart, all his being, and no Dream was going to change that. He threaded a hand through her hair as he deepened the kiss. "Shouldn't let this romantic get up go to waste," he murmured as they broke for air. He brushed a thumb across her tear stained cheek, then kissed her there gently. "Whaddya say?" He gave her his trademark smirk.
It wasn’t like she could turn him down, even if she wanted to. Which she definitely didn’t. Rach nodded, eyes still closed. She opened them in time to catch his smirk. “Take me to bed, Kev.” She wanted to forget this whole conversation. If only temporarily.