I’m scared I’m losing my mind.
Who: Harley and HG Wells What: A date! When: Last week Where: A REALLY expensive restaurant Status: complete Rating: PG-13
Harley had chosen a short red dress that left one shoulder exposed, with a neckline that was just shy of inappropriate. If she could distract Helena from her troubles, she would. For that matter, she could use the distraction herself, since she once again nearly left the house with her face painted up like in the dreams. That… wouldn’t have looked good.
With proper make-up and after five minutes of breathing exercises, Harley took off to pick up her date. She still didn’t know what they were but she was never that big on labels and she wasn’t sure she was ready to commit. She just really liked H.
Helena was having a slight crisis over this date. It had been several years since she’d last made it to the third date, and she was definitely not ready to commit. Which was why she was somewhat avoiding the discussion of what they were to each other. She did like Harley and quite enjoyed her company, but a committed relationship was something she was going to run away from at this point in time.
It was difficult to choose a dress for the evening. Partly because Helena rarely even wore dresses, but she felt a dress was best for this date as opposed to a pant suit. Pulling on a black dress with a knee length flowy skirt and a halter top with a daring neckline, Helena did her make-up and hair. She didn’t even fully realize that she put on the locket she’d gotten from her dreams. Deeming herself ready after slipping into a pair of high heels and grabbing the clutch purse she was taking, she went and waited for Harley to arrive.
She’d already gotten Christina off to the sitter’s so all she needed to do was remind herself to breathe. Sooner or later they may have to define what they actually were, but hopefully that wouldn’t be tonight. Not when she needed a distraction, and Harley tended to provide excellent distractions for her.
Harley? A-Ok with avoiding at least that discussion. Anything with feelings. Sex, fun, and support. Harley could do that right now. She drove up to Helena's place, then got out of her car so she could give Ms. H a great view.
She knocked on the door, then leaned back and smirked to herself.
Hearing the knock, Helena straightened a bit more and walked to the door and opened it. Any potential comment she had initially thought to make upon seeing Harley was instantly forgotten. Along with words in general for a good several moments as her gaze simply slid over Harley’s form. Of course, it stalled out over that scandalous neckline, a smirk of approval crossing her face.
“You look quite ravishing this evening, darling,” she said when she finally found words again. Helena had rather forgotten about the somewhat jagged scar on her right upper arm from where she’d been cut by glass when she’d broken a window getting out of the burning bookstore the other week. The stitches were gone and it was healing, at least.
The psychiatrist watched Helena's eyes roam, pleased at the reaction. She's still got it! Once she was certain her choice in attire had actually worked, she let herself drink in the sight of the brunette. Va-va-va-voom!
"You look delish too, H." Harley stepped into Helena's personal space, running a hand up her arm and lingering on the scar. Her voice softened. "That dress looks real good on you."
Oh it definitely worked. Possibly more than worked, but that would come later. Helena noticed the way Harley looked her over, equally pleased by her reaction. She was still incredibly pale, but she was British, she had an excuse for being pale.
“Thank you,” she responded, gazing at Harley, shivering lightly at her touch. Her own fingers trailed up Harley’s arm. “That color looks wonderful on you.” And, well, she couldn’t exactly help it as she leaned in to steal a kiss. It just felt right for the current moment.
"It would look better on the floor," Harley said, once the kiss ended. It made her lips buzz and if they didn't have reservations.
"Thanks." She was the same height as H, even in the heels, and she pulled the other woman against her for a much deeper kiss. " So are we gonna go or are we gonna have dessert first?"
“It most certainly would,” she agreed. Helena could not in good conscience attempt to even refute that point. Because there was no refuting it. Hell, they both would look better with their dresses on the floor.
She couldn’t suppress the soft groan as Harley pulled her against her, and she returned the kiss equally as deep. “That would depend upon which hunger is currently the loudest. Though I suppose if we wish to eat food at all tonight, we had better go eat food. Because I know once I get that dress off of you, it’s not going back on tonight.” She smirked at that.
Harley stiffled a laugh at Helena's reaction. It made her skin flush. She ran her fingers down Helena's side, then slipped her hand far enough down to be able to stroke a finger just under the hem of Helena's dress. She started to speak. Choked on her own words. And tried again. "Food first, I'm going to need that energy and I'd like to think we can talk more without tryin' to rip each other's dresses off." She stepped back and cocked a finger at her. "Naughty girl."
Her gaze was steady on Harley’s, almost hyper-aware of the hand moving along her side, the teasing finger slipping under the hem of her dress. Her smirk widened at Harley’s response, which was quickly followed by a chuckle at the cocked finger. “What can I say, I enjoy being naughty.” There was more than a wicked gleam in her eyes. Though the smirk quickly turned into an actual smile. “Agreed, being able to talk without trying to get the other naked would be nice. I do enjoy talking with you.” Which was the truth. She did enjoy their conversations, even when they devolved into innuendo or outright sexual topics. But it was more than wonderful to simply have a normal conversation as well, to get to know Harley better.
"Naughty is the best way to be, doll." Harley turned away from Helena, her face contorting into various expressions, most of them embarassed and/or turned on. She fanned at herself as she strutted to her car. "We're gonna need the AC at this rate."
Helena followed Harley to the car, that smirk returning. “Well we do generate quite a bit of heat and are rather hot so it is little wonder why we may need the AC to cool us down.” That wasn’t even the worst response Helena could think of making. She could’ve gone for the proverbial cold shower comment as well.
"Did you practice that one, H?" She flashed a grin at Helena, opening the door for her, since Helena was a classy woman and classy women deserved to have the door opened for them. And someone better than Harley. Lets be real, I ain't good enough for her.
“It was actually well out of practice until now. An oldie but a goodie, as they say.” Helena returned the grin, then thanked Harley as she opened the door and Helena got in. Really, Harley was the first person to even reach a third date with her in a few years, if not longer. Helena hadn’t exactly kept track after her ex had more or less destroyed her confidence in relationships.
She closed the door and danced around to the other side. Once she was in and they were on the way, she glanced at Helena. "Are you sure about this place? I mean the prices are way up there. Positively stratospheric. I only suggested it on a lark!"
“I am certain. I am undeterred by the prices. I think we both deserve some indulgence.” Helena smiled easily. Plus once she’d seen lobster was on their menu, she definitely wasn’t changing her mind. “We should certainly allow ourselves an indulgence now and again.” Besides, her bank account could handle it. She wasn’t exactly the spending type, typically, and she had a well-paying job.
She hoped Helena could afford it, especially with a kid. But Harley decided to drop it - she was craving something good and honestly she hadn't been in a fine restaraunt in years. More recently in dreams though. Will ill-gotten gains. Which was always fun.
She wondered if she could knock over a bank. Suddenly she wanted to knock over a bank. Harley shook the thought off. She reached over to stroke Helena's knee. "If you say so, dollface."
Yes, her move had been expensive, but she’d spent six years living with her parents previously, so she’d basically saved up a good amount. She also had good money management and always had money set aside for those ‘just in case’ instances. Needless to say, Helena wasn’t worried about having one meal at a fancy restaurant. She’d only worry if they made a habit of doing so.
“Good, I am glad to hear it, darling,” she responded with a smile. She gently set her hand over Harley’s giving it a reassuring squeeze. And also did absolutely nothing to discourage the stroking of her knee.
She decided she'd try to save up a bit and treat Helena sometime. It seemed fair. "Just don't wantcha thinkin' I'm tryin' to use you or somethin'...."
They were going to wreck if they kept this up, and Harley forced her eyes to the road - but didn't move her hand off of Helena's knee.
Helena smiled, looking at Harley. “I do not think that at all, rest assured of that.” Her tone was genuine in that statement. She hadn’t even potentially thought that Harley was using her. Even if they hadn’t actually discussed what they were to each other, it hadn’t come across as Harley using her.
She kept her hand on Harley’s. In the nine years that had passed since her ex had left her high and dry like a bad habit, Helena hadn’t always indulged her sense of touch. So she may have been taking the opportunity to maintain contact with Harley so long as she didn’t mind it.
They reached the Anaheim White House a little early for their reservations, which gave Harley ample opportunity. She parked the car, then turned and leaned over to kiss Helena, her nails digging into the brunette's knee. "We've got a few minutes if you don't mind messed up makeup."
She returned the kiss, groaning in response to the nails in her knee. Helena smirked. “If I minded messed up make-up, I wouldn’t wear any.” That and she could always touch it up if she truly felt the need to. She slid her hand to the back of Harley’s head, giving her a deeper kiss.
Harley was pretty quickly going to forget that they were going to go anywhere but down in this car. She groaned, then pulled away. Taking a breath, she poked her date in the nose. "You stop that...." Even though it had been her idea.
She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face. It was rather easy to lose her mind when she was alone with Harley. Not they were actually alone currently, more like being in a parking lot, which, well, happened to be a turn on for Helena. “I could say the same of you…” She teased, her fingers lightly caressing the back of Harley’s neck. “But you are difficult to resist.”
"I might have to teach you a lesson later." Harley got out of the car, trying to remember how to breathe, and how not to screw this sort of thing up. She looked at the restaraunt with something like awe on her face.
That was certainly a promise Helena liked. Though she took a slower moment to get out of the car to catch her breath. This was one date she needed to be on her best behavior for given the type of restaurant it was. Looking up at it, she couldn’t help but remember the last time she’d gone to a fancy restaurant on a date had been with her ex shortly before the pregnancy bombshell hit. Shaking her head slightly to rid herself of the thoughts, she moved up beside Harley, looking at her and offering her arm much like a gentleman would.
“Shall we?”
"Lets." She reached for Helena's hand and took it. She walked towards the restaurant, running her thumb over the other woman's knuckles. She leaned against Helena, closing her eyes.
Helena kept hold of Harley’s hand, a fond smile on her lips as the blonde leaned against her. It was a bit odd to her, but she welcomed it. Walking inside, she didn’t let go of Harley’s hand. After all, she didn’t care if anyone looked at them sideways or not. What they did behind closed doors, or in the car, was no one’s business but their own, they weren’t hurting anyone with their affection.
Stepping up to the concierge, she smiled and gave her name for the reservation. And from there, they were led to their table.
They did get a few sideways looks and at least two thumbs up on the way to their table. Harley grinned, making a show of pulling the chair out for Helena and then bouncing over to her own chair. She pulled it out, thanking herself for getting the chair for herself, then plopping down into the seat.
There was quite the note of approval in the attention they got in Helena’s smirk. She thanked Harley as she took her seat, setting her clutch on the table beside her. “Would you like wine with your dinner?” She asked. Even though it kind of went without saying given they were indulging tonight. “I would ask if you’d like an appetizer, but you already had one in the car, so would you like a second?” Her brows lifted a bit playfully, though she did mean food this time around.
Nodding, Harley reached for a menu, her face turning red. "Wine would be good, and I think I'll pass on the appetizer." She slipped her foot out of her shoe and nudged Helena's ankle. "I see what you did there, H."
Picking up the wine menu, she looked it over, a smirk on her lips at feeling Harley’s nudge. She gazed at her date over the menu. “Thank you,” she said before looking over the wines, then sliding it over to Harley for her to look over. “You may choose the wine if you wish.” Helena then glanced over the food menu, though she already knew what she was going to get.
Selecting a nice red wine, she turned her attention back to the menu and picked out something light and traditional.
"Okay, aside from the sad shit, how has life been treatin' ya?" Harley was eager NOT to talk about her own daughter. She hadn't been entirely truthful about her, but the general gist of it had been true.
Setting her menu aside, she turned her full attention to Harley. “Nothing too terribly exciting, really. I’m planning Christina’s birthday party, which isn’t until May but I want to take her to Disneyland for it with a couple of her closest friends as a surprise.” It was so much easier said than done keeping a Disneyland surprise from a child that asked almost on a daily basis when they were going to go to Disneyland.
“Work has been a bit slow, which I’m somewhat thankful for at the moment.” Though she had a feeling one of these days she’d be called to another scene to do some excavating of human remains.
Hopefully she'd still be around to help with that. Harley wanted to at least be friends with benefits, but she also knew that Helena deserved something stable. Either friends, or more, not that in between.
"She's gonna looooooove that. I wish work was slow for me."
One of these days they would need to have that conversation. Helena was definitely open to being friends with benefits, or even having an open relationship. But a committed monogamous relationship was off the table currently. She was too afraid to take that leap at this point in time.
“She is, I cannot wait to see her face when I tell her she’ll be spending her birthday there.” She smiled fondly. “I can imagine, it must be difficult being in your line of work. Not that mine is ever a walk in the park, but nevertheless.”
Open relationships? Harley approved. She leaned over, resting her chin on her fingers and watching Helena speak about her daughter. "It can be hard. Some patients can be real stubborn, too. But it's been really rewarding. You know? Helping people."
It was simply a matter of actually sitting down and having that talk. It was one Helena feared having if only because she’d spent the last nine years avoiding commitment that went beyond being a mother and her job.
“Helping people is a good thing. I both respect and admire you for being a psychologist.” She gave her a warm smile. “It is no easy task to undertake.”
Maybe they’d even have it before Harley lost her mind entirely. “It’s scary. What if I tell someone the wrong thing? What if they don’t listen to me? What if something they say gets to me?”
The last thing was a very real fear. It had actually happened to her, with The Joker. What if it happened here? What if she turned into that harlequin.
It was more than easy to see why Harley would have those fears. In her line of work, it was no doubt quite easy for such things to affect someone. “If you say the wrong thing, you are only human, we all say such things, even psychologists. If they don’t listen to you, that’s their fault not yours. And if something someone says gets to you, that’s when you do your best to talk about with a trusted friend, so they can help you.”
There was nothing but an understanding look on Helena’s face as she looked at Harley. “If you do ever find yourself in that position, or if you simply just need to talk about something, I will always, even if it is the middle of the night.” She really wouldn’t mind being woken up if it meant she could help someone she cared about. And she did care about Harley.
“Sometimes it’s not even their fault,” Harley admitted. “When they can’t control it. I have to do my best to guide them through what ails them, but … I don’t think I always succeed.” She chewed absently on her lip, staring into her glass of wine. “You sure about that, H?”
“Then you keep trying different tactics until you find one that does get through. Some people are simply so closed up it takes a very specific approach to get through to them.” Helena well knew some people were far more guarded than others when it came to talking. Even when they didn’t need psychological help. Reaching out, she set her hand over Harley’s gently and reassuringly. “Yes, I am certain about that.”
“I’ll try not to call in screaming too often,” Harley promised. she made a cross-my-heart sort of motion with her hands, then picked up her wine for a desperate sip. She almost blurted something out, then caught herself. She turned her hand around in Helena’s and squeezed it. “You’re really a doll.”
“And if you do, don’t worry about it. I have dealt with a screaming child for almost nine years. You’ll be amazed at the amount of patience I have.” At least in some respects, anyway. Helena was more noted for her temper at times. Smiling, Helena squeezed Harley’s hand in return. “I simply enjoy helping those I care about where I can.”
“I could out scream your kiddo.” Harley almost took it like a challenge. Act more like a nine year old than a nine year old! She smiled deviously, before lifting Helena’s hand to her lips and kissing it. “You know, you really are beautiful.”
“I suppose I shall simply have to see, won’t I?” Helena returned easily. It wasn’t precisely meant in a suggestive way, but there was certainly more than one meaning that could be taken from the statement. As Harley kissed her hand and gave her the compliment, Helena smiled. She wasn’t the blushing type, though she almost felt like blushing at receiving that compliment. “I am glad you think so.”
Everything Helena said sounded suggestive to Harley. She took a quick sip of her wine, to cool herself down, but not so quick that she couldn’t taste it. She wanted to enjoy her meal, not rush through it.
Harley was tickled pink at Helena’s reaction to her flirting and compliments. It was honestly the best thing ever, and kind of refreshing. It grounded her. Which was frightening. She knew that grounding oneself with a person was a bad idea. She needed a hobby. “It’s true, toots! Objectively!”
To be fair, Helena tended to speak suggestively quite often, depending upon the person she was with. She did enjoy trading suggestive comments with people. Though at least here in a fancy restaurant, she was going to try and keep her suggestive quips to a more tame level.
“Objectively, you say? Well, I cannot argue with that,” she said with an amused tone and took a sip of her wine. “Though I am not the only one here who’s beautiful. You are beautiful as well.” Let it be said that Helena had an ego, and she did enjoy praise for her looks, but she also honestly believed Harley was beautiful as well.
There were worse things to banter back and forth. Harley's toe reached Helena's knee. "Objectively." She flashed Helena a grin, setting her wine glass back down. She wondered if some day, Helena would do or say something that would render her speechless. She kind of wanted to find out. "We go together pretty good, don't we."
Helena felt the toe to her knee. She did nothing to pull away from the touch, and instead gave a slight curious raise of her brow at Harley. Given the right circumstance, Helena could certainly render Harley speechless. It merely remained to be determined just in what way she would go about achieving such an outcome. “I believe we do. I do enjoy your company.” In more than one way, of course. But as much as she enjoyed sex, she also enjoyed just having the company. Helena would never admit it, but she was lonely underneath it all. Moving halfway around the world had rather exacerbated the fact she had a distinct lack of a social life.
For someone who's career involved talking to people, Harley often yearned to be able to talk to someone as an equal. To share and commiserate and be really goofy with. She didn't have many friends, though she had quite a few acquaintances. Pulling away had been a defensive mechanism. "I'd hope so because if you didn't enjoy my company we'd have a problem."
Despite the fact she was social and talking to people was easy for Helena, she was the type of person that it took considerable effort for people to delve beyond her defenses and to come to know the whole her. She didn’t divulge the pains of her past easily. She did have a tendency for keeping people at an arm’s length. And with her dreams, she could see where her current life mirrored the one she dreamt about. Especially in regards to relationships. “Precisely, so I am more than glad that we met.”
Harley was trained to get through peoples' defenses. And she was good at it, even without the training. With Helena she wanted to. With Helena it was a little harder to break through, because she was reluctant. Closeness could be used, and abused. Harley wanted to trust her.
So she was willing to try. If she could just stop staring at her. "So do you think all the crime hubbub is over?"
Helena was more than fearful of taking the step and being intimate with someone. It would take a great amount of patience on Harley’s part and a lot of work on both ends to get her to open up. But even so, she couldn’t deny the fact Harley had caught her eye and she did want to come to know her better.
“I certainly hope so. I would like to not fear bad things happening each time I left my house.” And she’d appreciate it if no more stores she was in were deliberately set on fire.
“I’d kinda thought I’d pick up this mallet that..I.. found...” Harely scratched at her jaw. “And go whack people that deserve to be whacked. But that wouldn’t look good on my resume. But it would be fun.”
Well, that got a bit of an arched brow from Helena. “A mallet? How did you simply find a mallet?” Of course, Helena wasn’t at all certain about how large this mallet was and everything. But still, a mallet was a bit of an unexpected weapon.
“It was in my room when I woke up,” she admitted. “Along with one of the costumes I wear in my dreams.” Harley made a face. She’d tried it on. It had been a little tight up top, but otherwise it had fit. It had been a struggle to convince herself to take it off.
“Ah, so then they were gifts from these dreams,” she stated. Helena shuddered to think what other so-called ‘gifts’ her dreams would bestow her with. “What sort of costume is it?” She remembered Harley mentioning the guy that dressed like a clown. She was curious if this costume of Harley’s fit in with that or not.
“Oh damn it.” Harley’s face scrunched up again, and she waved her hand. It was embarrassing. “A jester outfit, basically.”
It was definitely strange, but Helena wasn’t about to judge someone based on a costume they wore. “A jester, how intriguing,” she said, merely stating a fact. “Feel free to ignore this, but there seems to be a pattern, given you mentioned the man who dressed like a clown before.”
Harley rubbed at her ear. "Well Mr. J had the whole joker thing going on and I wanted to match. That was his whole shtick. The killer clown, the madman. He got me hook, line and sinker and I went in thinking I wouldn't let him get to me..." She trailed off, then sighed. "He was my patient. And I knew he was trying to play me.""
Helena listened closely, tilting her head slightly. “He must be the sort of person who knows exactly what to say to get people to follow him. And no amount of anyone knowing he was trying to play them or telling talking themselves out of it would save them. Those sorts of people always have a way of getting people to listen.” She drew in a breath. “I am sorry that he got you like that.”
“He had me for years. Twisted around his thumb until my life revolved around him. And he always hurt me. Red and Selina kept trying to talk sense to me and I wouldn’t listen…” She ran a hand over her face, laughing bitterly. “An’ he never really loved me.”
It was painful to hear that someone, even someone in dreams, could hurt Harley like that. All evidence Helena had seen, Harley was a good person. But of course, Helena knew the world could be intensely cruel, and people like Mister J didn’t care who they hurt so long as they got what they wanted in the end. “People like him have no care for anyone but themselves. I am sorry that you were caught up in his path of cruelty. You definitely don’t deserve it.”
She’d killed people for him. Hurt people. Enjoyed it. And the psychotic break had never gone away and even when she’d gotten away from him she hadn’t entirely gone good. Being bad was too much fun. “I’m scared I’m losing my mind.”
Frowning softly, Helena reached out took Harley’s hand in her own, giving it a squeeze. “I will do whatever I am able to in order to keep that from happening.” And she meant it. Helena wanted to help if she could and however she could. That was Helena’s biggest trait, having a very large heart and being good at caring about people.
"Promise?" She looked down at Helena's hand, then up at her face. She'd thought they could get up to some shenanigans later, but right now all she wanted was to eat and then find a place to curl up in her arms.
“Promise. When I care about someone, I’m extremely difficult to get rid of. And I care about you,” she responded honestly. Helena wouldn’t mind just holding Harley later. All she wanted was to help her. And, well, Helena was good at cuddling, even if she was more than a little out of practice at it.
“You’re a good person, doll…” Harley smiled fondly. Maybe it would all be okay, after all. 4