Caroline Forbes is full of light (miss_mystic) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-02-22 11:07:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, caroline forbes, hans westergaard |
Who: Caroline Forbes and Hans Westergaard
What: Getting lunch. Caroline asks for a favor.
When: Saturday the 21st.
Where: Restaurant
Rating: Low
Status: Complete
Between classes, cheer, work and babysitting Caroline’s social life was lacking a bit lately. It was becoming difficult for the blonde to juggle everything she had going on. She had barely even seen Hans since the whole liquor store incident. It was about time they caught up and hopefully this time it would be free of bullets.
She had stayed at work a little after her shift ended making her late for lunch with Hans, hopefully he wouldn’t mind too much. When she entered the restaurant she spotted him at a table waiting for her. “Hey,” Caroline greeted him with an apologetic smile as she took the seat across from him. “Sorry, the bakery was a little nuts today. How have you been?”
“Did you bring me cookies as penance?” Hans teased, though clearly he didn’t mind the slight tardiness. He’d been waiting patiently, and he had his phone with him so to pass the time he went about checking the network after he’d ordered them drinks. A soda for him, and, “I got you a lemonade,” he added, with a nod to acknowledge the glass. It was what Caroline ordered last time they had lunch, to plan Anna’s surprise party - which seemed like ages ago. But he had a memory like a steel trap, so, maybe he didn’t do too bad on drink selections.
Phone set aside, since it was time to focus attention on the actual conversation. Otherwise, that was just rude. “I’ve been pretty good. Busy with classes, and taking on a few new students.” Seems like since the OC became a war zone, there had been an increase in all types of classes dealing with self-defense and weaponry. Fencing he considered more of a sport, but sure, it was helpful to know the proper way to maneuver with a blade in case you needed to stab someone.
“How have you been?” he asked. The liquor store mishap had been, well, just that. A mishap. He remembered Nik saying something about Caroline still working through everything related to that, and he hoped that she was doing better now.
“Oops, guess you will just have to stop by Baxter’s now.” Next time she would try to remember to bring cookies. “Thanks,” she added with a bright smile. It was sweet that Hans remembered she liked lemonade. “That’s exciting right? I think I would get bored with the same students all the time. Nice to meet new people and all that,” that was Caroline, the social butterfly. “I would totally take fencing from you too. You know if I had time.” Maybe in the summer. Though she wasn’t sure what exactly a fencing vampire would be like. She was able to keep her abilities under control when it came to cheerleading, fencing couldn’t be that much different right?
“I’ve been,” she paused for a moment, it was hard to find the right word. “Okay,” she finally said. “Almost got staked the other day. So that was fun,” sarcasm clearly. “I guess I kind of know how you felt at the liquor store now,” it was an eye opener for her, realizing she actually wasn’t invincible. She had always known it, but no one had straight out tried to kill her before. The whole killing people at the liquor store thing, she had pretty much come to terms with that. Of course she still felt guilt, but as long as she reminded herself it was justified she could deal.
What the hell? She’d nearly been staked? The look on Hans’s face was probably a mix of flabbergasted and confusion - adding a dash of comically absurd, really. “Only in the OC,” he shook his head, sighing. “How did that come about, exactly?” Obviously it had turned out alright, since Caroline was still breathing and sitting here very much alive. But still. Who went around staking vampires? At least ones that were mostly harmless? She drank from blood bags and had a cup that refilled itself, not like she was out prowling for Type O every night or whatever.
Now that his lunch companion was here, they could order. So he gave her the menu and opened his, to see what stood out at him. “Well, we came here for a lack of gunshots or I guess staking, so, we’ll just bask in the normalcy.” Amazing how before all this, he would never have taken a mundane day for granted. Just goes to show how priorities change in ways you didn’t anticipate.
The look on his face was enough to make her laugh. That was a good sign, right? Being able to laugh about her near death experience, though it did make her really think about some things in her life. Like her father. She didn’t want to live out eternity with things unresolved with him. Plus he was breakable. Just like Hans and the majority of the people in her life. She may have eternity, granted no one actually staked her, but they didn’t.
“Hunter from the dreams. It wasn’t his fault really, they get like this ‘I hate all vampires’ thing that he couldn’t exactly control.” No need to mention he was actually a friend too. “Nik showed up just in time though so I survived,” looked like he could protect her too. Though now she felt like he was hiding something from her, which she definitely was not a fan of.
She glanced over the menu deciding on her order before turning her attention back to Hans. “When you were shot, did it make you realize things about your life? Like stuff you wanted to fix or do better?” she asked suddenly getting more serious.
“Oh, right. That’s definitely awkward,” Hans agreed. In that case, it probably wasn’t entirely the guy’s fault. Sometimes the dreams dealt you shitty hands, and you had to figure out how to reconcile all of it. And it wasn’t easy. “I’m just glad you’re fine. And not a pile of ash,” he grinned, though it was out of relief. Light teasing. Was that what happened to vampires when they were staked? Either way, he wouldn’t want anything to happen to Caroline.
The turkey and brie melt sounded good, so he’d go with that, and he set his menu aside just in time for her next couple of questions. “Well...yes,” he admitted, and it had been brief - but there. Very much an annoying moment or two of doubt about his life and what he could have done better, as he laid there on the ground in a mess of booze and blood. “There’s always something we could improve on, I think. Why, have you been thinking about it too?”
“Good thing. Then how would you get your magical healing blood?” she could tease too. It honestly felt kind of good to joke about the whole thing. It made it feel a bit less serious and scary. Yeah Caroline was still scared to be around Jeremy. She knew he didn’t want to hurt her, but who knew when his hunter instincts would come out again? Everything would be fine as long as she kept her distance.
The waitress came and Caroline ordered herself a classic BLT, taking a sip of her lemonade while Hans ordered before getting back to the more serious topic. “A little, yeah,” she admitted. “There are just people in my life that I want to resolve things with you know?” or well one person. “Closure or whatever. Is that how is is for you?”
The idea of closure was nice, Hans thought, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever get it. Things were just so strained with his family - and that was how they were, always, the type of people that the Westergaard’s had bred and raised. Shut-off, distant, not willing to get close. He seemed to be the exception rather than the rule these days. Still, he continued to believe that hearing he wasn’t as unwanted and unloved as he felt would really be a good thing for him.
“With my family,” he said, after a sip from his drink to focus his thoughts. “There are just things I’d want them to tell me. That I probably need to tell them.” To let out all that bitterness that he’d bottled up for most of his existence. It had festered and it nearly turned him into something gnarled and twisted, something he’d been in another life. “Which person were you wanting closure with?”
Caroline could relate. Of course she felt very loved and wanted by her mom, but her father? That was a different story. “What do you want to tell them?” she couldn’t help but ask, her curiosity getting the better of her. But then she didn’t think Hans would have mentioned it, if he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Kind of the same. Well my dad,” she clarified. “The asshole took off when I was twelve. Haven’t heard from him since,” she shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, but it clearly bothered her. She had been a total daddy’s girl and close with him up until the point where he was just gone after all.
“I’m not sure...” Putting it into words was difficult. How did someone even begin to explain how they felt about being invisible for over twenty years? The damage it had done, the consequences of those actions, the weight of everything? “I think I’d want them to know that they really missed out. When they chose everything else over me.” It had taken him awhile to come to terms with that idea - that it wasn’t him who had done anything wrong, that it wasn’t his fault he was born last and on the low end of the totem pole.
Then after Caroline said she wanted to clear the air with her father, he lifted his eyebrows curiously. “No one knows why he took off? That’s...wow. That’s a long time to be gone. But I don’t blame you for wanting to know where he is. And why he left. I think you of all people deserve an explanation.” Hard to fathom that someone could just leave their kid. If he ever had them (that was a big if), he at least knew he’d be there. To raise him or her.
“They did miss out,” she meant it too. It honestly kind of pissed her off that his family treated him so badly, made him feel unimportant. Hans deserved so much better. “I think you should tell them,” she would be more than happy to tell his family for him, but that wasn’t really her place. Plus Hans could probably handle it on his own. “It is their loss, and if you ask me they don’t really deserve anything from you. But you deserve closure or maybe even to make things better if that’s what you want,” there was a hint of bitterness in her voice just because it made her so mad that someone she cared about had been treated badly by his own family, but then her tone and face softened. “You have me though. And I’m probably way more awesome than them anyway,” she added trying to lighten the mood a bit.
Their food was brought over, Caroline dug in immediately before answering Hans’ questions. Glad for the little bit of distraction, talking about her dad was never all that easy for her. “My mom might know. We don’t really talk about it much. I think it upsets her more than me,” Caroline still felt a little guilty for the way she had treated her mom after her father left. “But yeah it would be nice if I had some answers. I’ve been kind of thinking about trying to find him lately.”
He chuckled a little, kettle-cooked chip popped into his mouth. “You’re definitely more awesome than they are,” Hans agreed, and Caroline had experienced a little of the chill he lived his life immersed in - she at least met his father and also one of his brothers. Kasper was alright, but as a general rule the Westergaard siblings didn’t really bond. Or talk much at all. Maybe it also said something that Hans felt like he barely knew his own parents - they hadn’t left, specifically, but they also were never emotionally there either. Which could be detrimental.
“One day, I’d like to tell them.” He just wasn’t sure when that would happen but who knew, maybe if Caroline was successful it would give him hope that he could do it too. “How do you plan to find your father?” he asked.
“You should,” she repeated again. And if he needed her she would be there for support or whatever he needed, but she left that unsaid for now. If he didn’t know it already she would be sure he knew it whenever he was ready to talk to his parents.
“I don’t know,” Caroline replied with a sigh taking another bite of her sandwich. That was the difficult part. How do you find someone you haven’t heard from in eight years? “I guess I could like hire an investigator or something?” she really had no idea, but she definitely didn’t have the time to investigate herself or even know where to begin. “Maybe I’ll try and save up for that,” she shrugged, mostly just saying her thoughts out loud to Hans.
It would be difficult, but Hans was sure it could happen - with some persistence, surely Caroline could find her father? There were a few ways to do it, that he could think of. Hiring an Investigator would be ideal, since this kind of thing was their job. “There might be someone on the network?” he suggested. As batshit as it was, it really was a cornucopia of people - all different types, with different skillsets and connections. If there weren’t any PIs directly, someone might know of someone else, etc.
“And if you need any help with anything, you know you can always ask me,” he smiled reassuringly. “It’s for a good cause. Settling our family trauma and all.”
Sometimes Caroline forgot the network could be used for things other than dream talk. Still though the fact that she wanted to find her father wasn’t exactly something she wanted to advertise. She wasn’t proud of the fact that her father had completely abandoned her. Of course the people she was closest with knew, but she didn’t even want all of those people knowing she was going to look. She wouldn’t be able to stand it or handle it if it turned out badly and she had to deal with sympathy or even worse pity from her friends. Still she could keep an eye out to see if anyone else posted about investigating work.
“We should like start a support group or something,” she joked. “But actually…” she paused for a moment, unsure if she should ask. “Never mind.”
“What?” Hans lifted an eyebrow. “Actually what?” Whatever it was, Caroline could come out and ask. The worst that could happen was that he’d say no, and even then, there was a very good chance that he wouldn’t. He wanted to help, so depending on what it was, he’d see what he could do.
He took a sip from his glass, watching her over the top. “Go on.”
She felt weird. This wasn’t something she would usually ask someone. Even one of her closest friends. Caroline preferred to take care of things on her own, but she didn’t want to wait any longer until she could save up herself. This was something she needed to do right now. There was always compulsion, but that was too much like cheating life. Even when she just used it for small things, like free booze, she still felt a little guilty about it.
“Well um..” she paused again taking a sip of her lemonade. “Is there any way you could like loan me money or something?” the second she asked she regretted it. “No sorry, bad idea. Forget that. I’ll figure out a way,” the words tumbled out of her mouth in a rush.
Hans hadn’t been expecting that. He blinked a few times, clearly surprised. Not in a bad way, though. Of course he and Caroline were friends - she was one of his closest, and he didn’t have many he even let that close - but was still taken off guard a bit.
“Well...” He cleared his throat, attention diverted from the mostly-eaten sandwich. There was a lot to think about here. “You mean to hire an Investigator? I could, but...did you ask Nik? What did he say?” Mostly he just assumed that Caroline had already talked to her boyfriend about all this. Because there really wasn’t any way he’d be looking for lost relatives without at least discussing it with Anna first, it was a big step to take in someone’s life, but then again, that was his relationship and everyone was different.
Mostly the question was just that he didn’t want to get in the way of anything. If Nik found out someone else had let his girlfriend borrow money (and it’d be a significant sum, it wasn’t going to be like ten bucks for two gallons of gas), he might be upset.
Caroline and Nik were definitely not the same as Hans and Anna. Sure there were a few similarities, like the fact that both Hans and Klaus were bad guys in the dreams, but that was about it. “He knows I want to look for him,” she replied. “But, no. I didn’t ask for his help.” Nik had his own issues with his father, and he didn’t exactly have money to spare either. There was also the fact that Caroline didn’t want to depend on Nik. She wasn’t that type of girl. Besides the one man she had depended on left her and she wasn’t about to go through anything like that again.
“Really though, forget I asked. I will figure out a way. I shouldn’t have put that on you. Sorry,” she gave him a sheepish smile before digging back into her food.
As long as Nik knew, then, well. That was a good thing. Hans just didn’t want him to be blindsided with anything, that was all. “Relax,” he chuckled gently. “I’ll help you, Caroline. For a good cause, remember?” He meant that too. If it would help her achieve the closure she needed then he’d be glad to assist with that.
“Besides, we’re friends. I’d do most anything for my friends.” She’d already proven that she’d be there for him - she’d saved his life, and that wasn’t something he’d forget very easily anyway. “Just let me know when you’ve found someone you’re comfortable with.” To do the investigating, that is.
“I’m sorry I just… I want to get this done you know? I have been thinking about it for awhile. Since I dreamed about him dying, but I just have so much stuff going on like all the time I never really let myself think about it too much. But after what happened I don’t want to keep living my life with all these questions. I can’t really ask my mom for help…” she was rambling. Definitely not relaxed like Hans had suggested. There was just so much going on in her mind and of course she blurted it all out to him. Good job Caroline.
She took a deep breath, regaining some composure. “Thank you though,” she gave him a genuine Caroline Forbes smile. “You really don’t have to though.”
“I know I don’t have to,” Hans replied, but the implied part (and likely she knew it, she knew him well enough) that came after, that went unsaid, was that he wanted to. And really, he wasn’t the type to do something he didn’t want to do. That just wasn’t him. “It’ll work out, one way or another.” He couldn’t promise that it’d work out like how Caroline wished it would, but she would receive answers and that closure she needed either way. And that had to count for something.
Jokingly, he swiped the check when it arrived. “Maybe you should get lunch today though.”
She knew Hans wouldn’t help her if he didn’t want to. She still felt a little weird about asking, but he was one of the few people she could trust with this. He understood what she was dealing with on some level. “I think I need to get lunch like for the rest of your life,” she joked right back reaching out and grabbing the check from him. She could at least get this lunch.