Justin Taylor (jstn_sunshine) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-01-20 23:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, justin taylor, teddy altman (hulkling) |
Who: Justin Taylor and Teddy Altman
When: Backdated: Beginning of January
Where: Teddy's Trailer
What: Justin and Teddy have a more or less civilized talk
Rating/Warnings: Family Friendly
Status: Complete
For the last few weeks Justin had suspected that something was bothering Billy and he suspected it had to do with Teddy, but Billy only told him so much. He’d told him that they had talked and were going to try the friend thing, which Justin was fine with and Justin trusted Billy, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t still worry about the fact that Teddy was now dreaming, according to a post he made not too long ago and that meant he was dreaming about Billy. It was because of these things that Justin decided to seek out Teddy. The two of them hadn’t actually seen each other since Justin and Billy had tried to explain the Halloween debacle and Justin thought that it might be a good idea for them to do just that.
Justin’s most recent job was storyboarding for one of the shows that filmed at the same studio as Teddy’s current show, which meant Billy also worked at the same studio now, which was nice cause they could see each other during the day when they had a break around the same time, but this was one time when Justin hoped that Billy wasn’t around. Justin was heading towards Teddy’s trailer, a plan already in place in case Billy was in there with him, because Justin wanted to talk to Teddy alone. Reaching the trailer, Justin knocked at the door, unsure if Teddy was even in there. Justin might have known where the lot was that the show filmed on, but he didn’t know their shooting schedule.
“Yeah?” Theodore’s voice was slightly breathless from inside the trailer, and there was subtle, rhythmic thumping. “What is it?”
At Teddy’s response, Justin’s brows furrowed slightly, his pulse rising as various scenarios for the sounds coming from Teddy’s trailer went through Justin’s mind and while part of him wanted to bust right in, he doubted he could break down even the trailer door and instead knocked again, a little more insistently this time, “Yeah, hey, it’s Justin. Justin Taylor.” Whatever was going on, and he tried to keep certain images out of his mind, that was sure to get Teddy’s attention.
There was a very loud thud--slightly metallic, and then, a few moments later, Theodore opened the trailer door.
He was wearing a snug, sleeveless athletic shirt and loose fitting sweatpants, hair and skin slightly damp with sweat, and his brow was furrowed in concern.
“...is everything okay? Billy?”
Hearing the slight metallic thud, Justin’s pulse began to go back to normal, realizing what it likely was. When the other man opened the door, Justin stared up at him for a moment or two, blue eyes wandering over his arms before coming to rest on his face. Yes, even Justin could admit that the actor was good looking, “Uh, yeah. Everything’s fine.” Teddy’s inquiry on Billy confirmed that they weren’t together at that moment, “I actually wanted to talk to you. If you’re not busy.”
It was obvious when the tension went out of Theodore’s shoulders, and his wrinkled brow shifted from one of concern to confusion. “Me? Um. Okay,” he agreed. He moved back from the trailer door, inviting Justin inside. “Billy’s out on a coffee run,” he said, slowly. “Um. He volunteered.” Because even though it was technically Billy’s job to do things like coffee runs, he somehow didn’t think that Justin would appreciate that Theodore actually sent Billy on errands.
As Teddy stepped aside, Justin stepped into the trailer, unsure of exactly what he should do next. He wasn’t going to just invite himself to sit down yet, but he felt awkward simply standing there, “What? Oh, right. Well, that’s his job, right? To get stuff like that?” Justin understood what Billy’s job was; after all, when he’d been working for Zelda he’d assisted her in planning her wedding and he’d had to do a lot more than just get coffee, “I wasn’t interrupting you, was I?” He asked, gesturing to the weights on the floor, which was obviously what the source of the noises he’d heard had come from.
“Just keeping myself busy until I’m needed later,” Theodore assured Justin. He moved to the fridge and got out a bottle of water for himself, then gestured. “You want something to drink?”
“No. Thanks.” Justin figured that if Billy had gone out for coffee, he didn’t have long before he came back so he should probably get on with this, “So, I know that you’ve started dreaming. I saw your post.” He had thought about replying to it, but hadn’t had anything to actually say to it at the time, “And I know about Billy’s dreams, so I know what you are to each other in them.” He crossed his arms over his chest, not wanting to fidget with his hands too much, “I want you to know that I’m not here to confront you or anything like that, but I did think you should know that. And to know that I know what it’s like to dream about someone else and not be with them.” Brian might have been the biggest asshole he’d ever seen, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he was extremely hot and part of him could understand why he loved him.
Theodore had made the mistake of taking a sip of his water, and then choked at Justin’s words.
Great. So...this was that conversation.
He coughed, his face red, and set down the bottle. “Ahh....” he said, slowly, catching his breath. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to that,” he said, honestly. “What exactly do you think we are to each other?”
At Teddy’s reaction, Justin’s arms dropped and he brought one hand up to scratch at the back of his head for a moment before crossing his arms again, “You’re together. In the dreams.” Before Teddy had a chance to respond Justin continued, “I know you’re only friends here. He told me that you guys talked about that.” He didn’t see any reason to beat around the bush, because it was true. “And I want you to know that I’m not accusing you of anything either. I don’t want this to be that kind of conversation. I trust Billy.”
Theodore’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Billy would never cheat,” he asserted, perhaps more forcefully than he should considering the circumstances. It wasn’t as if Justin was implying Billy would--the opposite, actually. But it still triggered an automatically defensive reaction, since to Teddy, he was as much his boyfriend as Justin was.
It was like...being Billy’s ex, when they’d never been together, and it didn’t feel good.
“I’m sorry,” he said, a moment later, and sighed. “It’s...well. Billy was the first boyfriend I ever had,” he admitted, softly. “I don’t know if you remember your first, but I know you appreciate just how special Billy is. And not for his magic.”
Justin was a little taken aback by Teddy’s outburst, but he soon realized that they were more or less in the same boat. “I do. And I understand how you feel cause the guy I dream about, he’s my first boyfriend too. And I remember my first boyfriend in real life too.” Justin watched Teddy, wishing there was something else he could do or say to help him. To make the dreams easier or something, “And I know Billy would never cheat. That’s not who he is. I just….I don’t know...I guess, I just thought that you should know how much I care about him. How much I love him. It’s been a long time since I’ve had an actual boyfriend and I can actually see a future with him. I’ve never asked someone to move in with me before, but Billy’s not like any other guys I’ve known.” Justin bit his bottom lip and he sighed. If there was one thing Justin could never hide, it was what he was feeling. His emotions were always written plainly across his face and at that moment his features conveyed the truth in what he was saying.
“Of course not,” Teddy replied, wearily. “He’s Billy. He’s...amazing. In any reality. And I’ve known him in two so far.” He offered a wry smile, and shrugged a shoulder. They were agreed on that point.
It wasn’t that Theodore didn’t care about Justin’s feelings for Billy, or doubted them--anyone with sense would fall in love with Billy--but in the grand scheme of things, he wasn’t sure it mattered. And that was what he needed to clarify.
“So. Do you think they’re just dreams?”
On that they agreed. Anyone who met Billy would think he was amazing. “Yes and no. In mine, I was bashed and woke up, a few months ago with a head injury and now if I draw for too long, my hand starts to cramp up as a result of brain damage from it.” As he spoke, he subconsciously brought his hand up to his temple where he’d been hit in the dreams, where Billy had healed him that night upon waking up, “But I don’t think they should dictate our lives.”
“Ah,” Teddy fidgeted, twisting the cap of his bottle, but his gaze was sharp as he studied Justin. “That’s where we disagree. See...I think they are our lives. Where Billy and I come from...it’s happened before. Reality was twisted. People’s lives changed...bent...around a new reality. And the person who did it? Was Billy’s mom.”
Well now Justin could see where things would get difficult. Justin knew about a lot of the things that went on in Billy’s dreams; all things one might read in a comic book, including warped realities. Shaking his head, Justin watched Teddy, “They’re dreams. I’ve been having them for almost two years, Theodore. I’ve been having them since before I met Billy. Hundreds of other people have them too.” He tried to keep his tone level and even, not wanting Teddy to think that he was attacking him or making fun of him in any way, “But I know how real they feel and why you might think that.”
Theodore raised an eyebrow. “Hundreds of people sharing dreams of the same alternate universes, and your conclusion is...they’re just dreams?” He actually laughed a little. “Sorry, but...that’s kind of a stretch isn’t it? And far less plausible, considering.”
“How do you explain the dreams being a thing before Billy even joined Valarnet? And not everyone has the same dreams. There’s no one here who has the same dreams as me.” Honestly, Justin had a feeling that the dreams had something to do with Valarnet itself and while he’d thought about leaving the site numerous times to see if the dreams stopped, he wasn’t really sure if that would accomplish anything aside from knowing for sure what caused them and being forever curious about what else would have happened in his dreams, “Have you asked anyone else, besides Billy, what they thought the dreams were? Maybe get an idea of what other people’s opinions are?” Of course, now Justin was beginning to wonder how many other people thought that the dreams were real and that the waking world was actually a dream.
“But Billy and I share the same Dreams,” Teddy replied. “That’s not something that you can just write off because you’re not part of it. We had no idea the other existed here, in this reality, or whatever you call it. I didn’t even start dreaming until after I’d met Billy. And I don’t think that Billy is responsible for what’s happening. I just know that we’ve seen--experienced, even--something like this before.”
As for the other part of what Justin was asking, Theodore shrugged a shoulder. “I’ve read some things on the Net, since I’ve been there. There’s a few theories--one guy seems to think he can explain it all with science, but I’m not entirely sure about that, unless we’re talking Arthur C. Clarke. But the general consensus seems to be--they’re not just dreams. Dreams aren’t shared. Dreams don’t give you powers, or injuries, or random gifts. Some people use the term memories, and I think that’s more likely. We’re remembering our other lives, other realities. And this…” he trailed off, gestured vaguely. “This is the dream, or at the very least, some warped version of reality.”
Justin sighed, arms still crossed, trying to figure out how to handle this without starting anything cause he didn’t want to do that. It was likely that Billy was going to find out that they talked, cause Justin was likely going to tell him and he didn’t want to have to tell Billy that he and Teddy had gotten into an argument or anything, “Whatever they are, this is our life right now. Whether they’re memories or a past life or magic; these are our lives. Not those. That’s what I believe. I can’t explain how I woke up with a head injury or how Billy got super powers, but what I do know is that I love him more than I’ve loved anyone before and no outside sources influenced it.” He chewed his bottom lip, blue eyes watching Teddy.
“Then that’s something else we have in common,” Teddy replied, and gave a rueful smile, rolling his water bottle between his palms. “Look...you seem like a nice guy, Justin. You’ve spent the past year making Billy happy, and I appreciate that. I know firsthand that’s not always easy.”
“And I intend to continue making him happy for a long time.” Justin couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Teddy was talking like Justin had just been babysitting Billy all this time or something and it was completely ridiculous. He could understand that the dreams were confusing and sometimes it was hard to separate them from reality for some people, but this was just insane. “No, you don’t. First hand would be if you actually experienced it here, but you haven’t. You’ve known Billy for like three months and before you started dreaming, you can’t tell me that you felt anything for him.” Justin wished that this didn’t have to be so difficult. Things had been going so well for him and Billy until now, but he had to have faith that this would all work out in the end.
Theodore gave Justin a long look, his expression sympathetic. He really did seem to be a good guy, and obviously loved Billy. “The dreams feel just as real to me as life here. Someone may have stolen my memories--or rearranged them--but they couldn’t erase them. They couldn’t erase my life with Billy. And this...reality, so to speak, is not more real than the one I remember. The one where Billy and I have been together since we were teenagers. Whether Billy agrees with you, or me, is not something I can guess.”
Justin didn’t like that look, but he couldn’t quite tell if Teddy was baiting him and he wasn’t going to wait around to find out, because if he stayed any longer he was bound to say or do something that would get him in trouble, “I have to get back to work. I just wanted to come down here and talk to you so you’d know how I feel and I’ve talked, so now I’m going.” He hadn’t really expected this to go any better than it had, but at least now he understood exactly what Teddy was thinking and he had to keep the faith that things would work out for himself and Billy as they had been before Teddy showed up.
“That’s fair,” Theodore replied, and nodded as Justin moved to go. “If we’re being totally honest...you’re not wrong to be worried. I’ve told Billy that I’m okay being friends because that’s what Billy wants, but if that ever changes...if Billy does pick me...no hard feelings, I hope. Like I said, you seem like a good guy, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for Billy.”
Justin didn’t say anything, because he knew that if he did, he’d regret it. Instead, he simply nodded and turned to leave the trailer. Part of him hoped that he ran into Billy on the way back to his area of the studio just so that he’d have something to make the rest of his day better, because sometimes simply seeing Billy helped immensely.