Who: Rose and Tom When: Between Christmas and New Year’s Where: Rose’s place What: Begging forgiveness Rating/Warnings: PG Status: Complete when posted
Tom had all of these crazy thoughts in his head. About Rose, about his life, about everything. After spending Christmas with Ana Lucia in a very, very weird way, Tom was starting to think differently about everything. He still thought he would be shitty at monogamy. And that Rose deserved better. But he couldn’t stop wanting her.
So he’d begged her to let him come and try and explain himself. He really didn’t know how this was going to go. He just knew that he wanted to be around her. He’d missed her. And he had a Christmas present he had to give her in person.
She had done her best to outwardly show that she was upset at Tom ditching her last minute when she went off to Tahoe, but inwardly she had raged. She may have done a quick trip the gym and really let it out before they made their trip. It had taken her a couple days to calm down and she remembered that they weren’t technically a couple and she shouldn’t push these kind of things on him. So, with that in mind she did her best to enjoy her time with her bestie and her bestie’s family. It had worked for a while, but her thoughts always eventually turned back to Tom and wondering what he had been up to.
It had surprised her when he begged to come and explain himself. She gave him the cold shoulder for a day or two and then finally relented. There was probably nothing he could say that would fix his disappearing act, but she might as well hear him out. With a sigh she unlocked her front door and waited for him to come.
Tom knocked on the door, carrying a Snickers bar and a sunflower. The Snickers bar had been easy to come by, but the sunflower was a bit more tricky. He’d had to stop at two different shops to find one this time of year. Especially in Orange County when they’d just had so much snow.
When she opened the door, he offered them up to her, putting on his best puppy dog face.
With the door open and him standing on the other side she kept her expression neutral. Her body leaned against the doorframe as she crossed her arms over her chest. Alright, so it was a slightly defensive and closed off stance to take, but she was annoyed. She was doing her best to keep it off her face though as she arched an eyebrow at his puppy dog face.
The gifts he came with were slightly surprising because she didn’t think he would bring her things in an attempt to make it up to her. “Hi,” was all she simply said as she regarded him coolly.
Tom had no idea how upset she really was about his canceling on the trip. Of course, going on holiday with her would be far too boyfriend/girlfriend-y. They weren’t there in their relationship. They didn’t have a relationship. Just a friendship. And a little more. And he didn’t want to … lead her on, or hurt her, or anything.
Yet he couldn’t stay away.
“Hi.” He responded, holding out the flower closer, so she could take it. If she wanted to. He hoped she’d want to. “...you gonna let me in?”
She had been taught to be polite even if she was annoyed, so she took the flower from him, and nodded her head. She moved away from the door frame and stepped aside so he could come into the apartment. Once he was inside she reached out to close the door behind then made her way towards the kitchen to grab a small vase for the flower. She knew she was being silly by not speaking to him, but she was still trying to gather her thoughts about what went on.
“Thank you for the flower,” she stated simply as she brought the sunflower, now in it’s vase, out to the kitchen table and set it in the middle of it.
It was cold. Possibly even snowy cold. Again. Even though the snow from early December had passed, another cold wave was passing through Southern California. Tom didn’t really mind. He had heat in his place, and warm clothes. But it was nice to be inside. His nose was a little pink as he followed her through her place.
“You’re welcome. I was a little worried you weren’t ever going to speak to me again,” he commented almost playfully, and set the Snickers bar down on the counter. “Because I really mucked that one up, didn’t I?”
A small smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth when he made that comment. At least he was trying to be playful about breaking the ice with her. She gave a small sigh and leaned her back against the kitchen table, "Just a little bit. But I should take some of the blame. I shouldn't have sprung that on you. I just liked the idea of going off somewhere with you, but that wasn't the right way to do it."
Yes, she had been slightly mature and thought things over after it happened. Some of it was her fault and she didn't want to be that girl to put all the blame on him.
“Hey, they’re big steps, right? Spending a weekend together, spending the holidays together…” It was almost like using the g-word, or the b-word. None of those were things that Tom did. Ever. Mostly because he knew he’d be the shittiest boyfriend in the world, and partly because he didn’t want to be tied down.
Though, it was actually appealing if he thought Rose would be the one doing the tying.
“I ran away scared, and I shouldn’t have.” He confessed. “I’m sorry. I hope you’ll let me try to make it up to you.”
"The weekend part isn't that big of a step, but with a holiday added on then that gives it pressure and extra assumptions that scare people off," she pointed out to him as she ran a hand through her hair. She had realized that during the trip and then set forth to forget about her stupidity on vacation.
"It's fine. I get it," she reassured him and then gave him a questioning look at his next comment, "You really don't have to."
There was a pause in which Tom let his eyes linger on her face. “I want to.”
“Why?” It was a simple question. She wasn’t completely sure why he wanted to make it up to her so badly. They were just friends with benefits and if he still wanted that to happen then there was nothing to make up for. They would just go back to where they were, right?
“Because…” Tom sighed softly. Why was a good question. It may have been simple, but it was the right question. He tore his eyes from hers, and turned them to the floor. This was not something he was good at. Charm he could do. But sincerity? Honesty? Laying those feelings out bare for the world? Or, for someone who could hurt him?
“Because I like you. And I don’t like that I hurt you.” Bad with words. Tom was bad with words.
There was a lot he was saying without using words right now. she could see it in his eyes and expression that something else was going on underneath the surface. She wasn’t quite sure what is was but she felt his sincerity in his reply and she took a step towards him. The fact that he didn’t want to hurt her made her blush and she looked bashful as she studied him, “I appreciate that. We’ll be okay, promise.”
“Okay.” Tom reached one hand forward almost shyly and took hold of hers. He really didn’t know what he wanted. He was so conflicted. This sort of thing never happened to him. It was unreal. His fingers laced with hers, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, and he pulled her in closer. “Okay.”
If only she could read his mind. She just wanted to make sure that he wasn’t upset with her and that they could put things back to normal. If she knew what he was truly thinking about then she would probably pass out from shock and start her own internal crisis. She returned the squeeze to her hand and let herself be pulled in. A smile appeared on her face as she reached up to cup his cheek in her free hand.
Then the smirk came to his features. This felt like something he could do. He leaned down to kiss her lips, dryly and gently. Letting the physical stuff take over was so much easier than putting his emotions out on the table. It was almost a shield he put up around himself. Sex was easier than intimacy. And he was so good at it.
Truth be told, she wasn’t completely sure if she wanted to have sex with him today. It was just slightly unnerving that he had come to her like this and she was slightly thrown off. Should she let the progress or should she make him open up on what had been going on? She wasn’t quite sure, but she returned the kiss before breaking it and chuckling lightly, “I really should continue to be upset with you if you’re going to come over here with flowers, candy, and a kiss like that.”
“You can have as many kisses like that as you want. The flowers and candy, however…” He teased. His hand rubbed up and down her back, gently, and his nose nuzzled once against hers. “Please don’t be upset with me anymore, though. I don’t know how to handle it.”
A happy blush appeared on her cheeks when he nuzzled his nose against her. She pressed her lips against his gently and briefly, “That sounds almost sincere. But don’t worry, I’m not upset with you anymore.” She hoped he would take the sincere comment as a small jest because she wasn’t used to him being this open, but it was sweet nonetheless.
“Good.” Tom didn’t want to dwell on the sincere comment. He didn’t want to be that guy. Actually, right now he didn’t want to be anything. He just wanted to cuddle up with Rose, watch a movie, eat half a Snickers bar, and relax. He’d been so confused (he still was confused) and so on edge about the whole thing that he’d been pent up. Tense. Now he could wrap his arms around her and let it all go. “Let’s go get comfortable.”