Dean Winchester | Mikey Donovan (winmychester) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-11-30 16:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, dean winchester, lisa braeden |
Who: Dean Winchester and Lisa Braeden
What: Moving a couch. And asking about the kid.
When: TBD
Where: Lisa’s House.
Rating/Warnings:
Status: Complete.
Dean had spent days thinking about Lisa and about Kyle. The more he thought about it, the more the timeline seemed like he could be the father. There was also the fact that Kyle did look like him. Then another part of him was questioning whether he just wanted that to be true and whether it could really be true.
Work seemed to drag on and everything seemed to annoy him. He had been on edge all day and everything seemed to get underneath his skin. Dean might not have realized it but it had a lot to do with him going to talk to Lisa.
It was an understatement to say that he was nervous. This conversation had two very possible outcomes and he wasn't sure how he felt about them. He could find out that he was a father of a kid which was terrifying or he could find out that the girl he loved had a child with someone else.
He stood outside her door and took a deep breath. Dean knocked with his free hand since the other was holding a case of the beer he last knew she liked. He figured it would make a good housewarming gift.
~~~
There were so many things in the air that Lisa couldn't figure out what to say or even think. She'd thought about calling Kait to get some back up... but she knew deep down that she had to take care of this herself. It was.... It wasn't going to be easy, but hey, whatever happened happened. She loved Kyle and in the end that was all that mattered, he was her world.
So, she made sure more of the kitchen was unpacked, glasses, and she'd run out to make sure she had at least 12 beers in the house. She had no idea how all of this would go. The good news? Kyle was at her parents for the night. It'd already be planned and they'd wanted to have him. She was hoping Amelia was okay with it too. She'd sort of failed on checking in on that one because of Dean. She'd have to make it up to Amelia later.
Hearing the knock she looked in the mirror for just a second. "You can handle whatever happens." She said before turning to open the door.
"So, We'll have enough beer between the two of us." She said noticing the case before looking up at him. Despite all of her fears she smiled. "Come on in. " She said stepping to the side keeping the door open. "You're still willing to help with the couch right?"
~~~
"Housewarming gift," Dean said, lifting up the beer. He knew she said she already had beer but he didn't want to show up empty handed and he was not the type to bring a plant. Besides the way he figured it they were going to go through a lot of beer no matter what outcome tonight held. "Yeah, of course," he answered as he stepped inside her house. He couldn't help looking around. Part of it was to see her place and the other he was hoping to see some photos around. Though he knew she probably hadn't gotten that far into packing.
"Nice place," he told her, feeling awkward again. He wasn't really sure what to say or what he should do. It had been a long time since they were in the same place like this. And even longer since they were on friendly terms.
Dean was trying to work through how he was going to bring this up. There didn't seem to be an easy way or a right way for that matter. Maybe after a beer or two it would be easier.
~~~
There was something actually really comforting about having him walk into her place, normal, or well something. Lisa just wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about that. It was still kind of awkward, but they were still talking and he was here, so there was that right?
"Thanks." She answered leading him to the kitchen. There wasn't much up yet, but the fridge had some things stuck to it. Some pictures from Austin, a number of Kyle. There was one of her kicking Calvin's butt, an old one of her with her family, another one with Ellie, Amelia, herself and Dean.
Once there she took the beer from him grabbing two out and putting the rest in the fridge... that wasn't very full but had some food and a lot of beer, some juice and milk. Normal type things. "Here you go." She said after opening them and handing him one.
"So, you wanted to talk?" Lisa said kind of straightforward.
~~~
“Thanks,” he said, taking the beer from her. Beer. That was precisely what this moment needed. He probably could have even used a few shots to warm up to this conversation. Dean took a long sip of his beer while he tried to think of the best way to approach this conversation. Especially since he could be entirely wrong. The kind could be someone else’s and Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about that scenario.
“I...yeah. I did.”
That was a great way to start Dean. Great. But to be honest there was no real great way to start this conversation and a large part of him was afraid of it. He either left here today finding out he had a kid or that the girl he loved had a kid with someone else.
“So. The kid. I was wondering...,” Dean started. “How old is he?”
~~~
She nodded as she felt her palms started to get a little bit sweaty. Her face was feeling warm but she was pretty sure it wasn’t turning shades of pink or red just yet. No, she could handle this. She had to figure out how to handle this right? There were no other options for how to handle it.
She took a sip of her own beer as she weighed the question he’d just asked her, it helped to have the beer in her mouth, it gave her a reason to pause before answering. “Just about four.” She said knowing exactly what he was thinking. She left it at that though, didn’t really want to say anything else.
~~~
“Just about four,” he repeated.
Dean had been freaking out since he started wondering about Lisa and Kyle. He had done some digging before he let his thoughts run away with him. He found out that she wasn’t married and that Emma didn’t have a kid. A part of him even considered the possibility because deep down he wanted the kid to be his. His and Lisa’s. It was what sparked him trying to find out if the times aligned. He hadn’t know exactly how old Kyle was but his guesstimate had made it a possibility. No one talked him into thinking it was crazy, those some reiterated that the possibility was slightly terrifying. The other part of Dean was hoping Kyle wasn’t his because he didn’t think Lisa could ever keep something like this from him.
He ran through the months again in his head but unless he was WAY off...there was a chance. Dean sighed before making the decision to just ask. He needed to know if he was just crazy and making something out of nothing or if the kid was his.
“I have to know Li. He kind of looks like me. He’s about that age…” Dean didn’t think he was just seeing what he wanted to see in Kyle. He really thought he looked like a mini-Dean.
~~~
Lisa didn’t say anything for a few moments. She could tell that this was going to be that talk. That talk. Not the talk that she was really ready to have, but she had to have it. She had to deal with it and she needed to just… bite the bullet. She hated that saying, because really who would want to bite a bullet? But right now that’s how it felt.
There were a few ways she could take this. Was there a possibility that Kyle could be someone elses? Well, not really, but did he need to know that? Probably… So lying wasn’t really an option. They hadn’t been in the best place… not the worst they’d been but not the best. This was going to probably kill any level of friendship they could ever have…. And yet, it wasn’t about either of them.
“Yeah. Kyle is yours.” Lisa said flat out no bullshit no nothing. She didn’t even try and start explaining herself away either.
~~~~
“He’s...mine.”
Emotions were shuffling through too fast for him to zero in on just one of them. Words and thoughts weren’t coherent enough to string together. Dean didn’t say anything for several moments after that. He took a seat on the chair nearest him. He had a son. He had a son with Lisa. His name was Kyle.
“You never told me.”
It was more a statement then a question. He still couldn’t believe he had a son let alone that Lisa had kept it from him for years. He was at a loss for words. It was something Dean wouldn’t have thought Lisa could or would do.
~~~~
Lisa knew this wasn’t going to go over well, she knew that. How could she possibly think that it’d be okay? That he’d actually well think about it from her perspective or from how she might have felt about things or that maybe she didn’t know if she was going to keep the baby or not to start with. There were a million different things that could have happened.
Instead she crossed her arms and watched him sit down as he stated the clear fact that she hadn’t told him. “You’re right, I didn’t. Until now.” Lisa said trying to keep herself strong and without showing how hard this was for her too.
Lisa was tempted to go into defending herself and explaining it, but the fact was, was that she couldn’t really defend it, she couldn’t really start that despite a great desire to tell him all the reasons she didn’t tell him, they might not all be fair, but some of them were, some of them were to keep herself happy which was selfish, and some of them came down to the fact that she just didn’t know how to tell him.
~~~