Who: Ed and Riza When: Early November Where: Riza’s home What: Sleepless nights Rating/Warnings: Low/None Status: Complete
Edward wasn’t sure what to do with his time at Riza’s home. Normally during the night Al would have joined him in his room and they’d either play or read or whatever. Tonight there was no Al, Ed was more alone than he’d felt since his mom died. He spent several hours staring at the ceiling in hopes sleep would take him, but that never happened. He was too used to company at night. The room was too quiet and his thoughts were too loud.
Maybe if he’d been a better kid or his dad had been less sucky, Trisha Elric would still be alive today. It wasn’t fair that such a terrible father now had his hands on his younger brother. Who knew what that creep was doing with him now. The idea of it caused his blood to boil. He got up and decided to explore a bit.
Naturally the first place he hit was the kitchen.
Riza was still up, ever since she’d learnt that Edward was coming to stay with her she’d been trying to convince his father that Al should come as well but so far she’d had no luck. She’d been starting to look at more legal ways to pursue the issue but there were a lot of hurdles in the way and it was weighing on her a lot. She knew Edward missed his brother.
When he entered the kitchen she gave him a smile and gathered her papers into a file, “Hey, you okay?”
Almost unnatural colored golden yellow eyes turned toward the familiar voice. If someone didn’t know him they might think he wore colored contacts. He didn’t. “Hm? yeah. Just hungry.” He shrugged. Edward tried not to rely on people, the fact that Riza had let him live with her was more than enough. He didn’t expect her to do anything extra. He’d always been that way even when it was just him and Al. If he couldn’t get what they needed he never bothered once asking for help, even if he needed it. He just did it without complaint.
“What’s that?” He looked at the things she was picking up a bit curiously.
“There’s food in the fridge and cupboards, help yourself. If you want anything specific picking up just write it on the board or use the money from the shopping jar” she pointed to a chalkboard above a small shelf with a jar on it. Luckily it wasn’t too high up.
“Oh this, it’s...” she was about to say nothing but stopped. Edward deserved the truth, “Legal documents, ones I need to complete before I meet with the lawyer at the end of the week. I’m trying to get Al placed in my care too. But without your father’s agreement it’s more difficult than I anticipated”
Even if it had been high Edward would have figured it out for himself. He was a capable shrimp. “I don’t really need much..” Really he was easy. He nodded though, he really didn’t want her to think the worst of him or anything-like he was stealing things or whatever the last school accused him of on top of everything else.
He paused and unconsciously held in a breath at that. “I really don’t understand why suddenly he actually gives a damn about Al. He’s never bothered before.” Or about him, but he wasn’t the one that cared as much as his younger brother did.
“I know” Riza replied, pulling out the chair next to her and encouraging him to sit in it, “I can’t claim to know either. Maybe with your mum and everything he’s trying to make amends or maybe he’s just feeling guilty. Whatever it is I am sorry Edward. I know my sister wouldn’t have wanted you both to be apart like this”
Ed hesitated but finally sat. Though he looked away at the mention of his mother. “I doubt it.”He had so much hatred for that man. “Deadbeat didn’t even show up for the funeral.” He said with a shrug as he tried to blow it all off as though he really didn’t care. “He’s never given a damn before, I don’t need him starting up now. I was doing just fine without him.” Nevermind the fire.
“No Edward, you weren’t” she said softly, laying a hand on his arm, “And I’m sorry, when I came for the funeral I should have stayed with you boys or brought you back with me. I failed you. But I promise I will not give up” She wanted him to know he could trust and rely on her.
He frowned at that. “We survived anyway.” Al was always much more sensitive than he was about it all. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have his moments, but he wasn’t the one who woke crying in the middle of the night because they were basically alone now. He wasn’t the one who needed the comfort, that was Al. So he liked to claim anyway. His mother was a weak spot though as anybodies might be. “I’m still hungry.” He added instead of responding, standing up so he didn’t have to say anything about it. Maybe he’d get away with it just this once. He was already down about not having Al around, he didn’t need to be six feet under in depression, so he changed the subject. “Thought I saw pizza in the fridge still?” When he turned away he rubbed a hand across his face in attempt to prevent any sort of emotion beyond annoyance from showing.
Riza could see he was struggling but she didn’t want him to bottle everything up, that wasn’t good for anybody and led to outbursts like the fire incident and she didn’t want that. “You did well Edward, but you needed help. Everybody does you know, sometimes” she told him before standing, “There is pizza there, want me to heat it up for you?” she offered, laying her hand on his shoulder and rubbing softly. She wasn’t going to make a big deal of it but she wasn’t going to let him off the hook completely.
The weight of the world was heavy for someone so young, but if it meant Alphonse didn't have to carry the burden Edward would do it forever without complaints.it had actually made him feel better after losing his mother. He had a reason to get out of bed and keep moving forward. During his stint with depression he highly considered trying to find a way to bring his mom back from the dead. Of course there were no such ways. That stuff only happened in movies. He wanted to protest help but he felt that weight again. Only this time he didn't have Al to distract him. "I don't -" He couldn't finish the sentence before his eyes filled with tears. He didn’t trust his voice just then. Crying didn’t help anyone but it didn't stop it from happening either.
Riza knew he wanted to protect his younger brother, Riza had been the same way when she and Tricia were younger. It was part of the reason she’d joined the military, that need to protect. So she understood but that didn’t mean she knew how to make things better, or even if she could. Letting her arm slide around his shoulders she tugged him to her, wrapping him in a hug he probably didn’t want but did need. “It’s okay, we’ll work it out Ed” she said, making no promises she couldn’t keep because that wouldn’t help.
He had tried so long to stay strong and be the rock Al had needed, but right then he couldn't do it anymore. He was still only 15 and couldn’t really figure out how to process everything he was dealing with. Mostly he hid behind anger or stoicism. He didn’t respond to the words but for once he didn't fight the hug either. In a surprising turn of events he just clung to her. "I tried. " He really had tried to keep things together for his family. He was so exhausted now from everything that had happened in the last few days it was impossible not to finally just Crack apart.
“I know you did sweetheart” Riza told him, holding him tightly as she stroked his back, “But you don’t have to cope on your own now. You don’t have to be strong with me, okay?” Her heart was breaking for him, she had a feeling this was something he needed. An almost cathartic experience after everything he’d been through. She wasn’t a mother, didn’t ever see herself being one, but she would be the best Aunt she could be to her nephews.
He wouldn't have wanted another mother so he didn't expect her to be a substitute but human affection was something he craved just then. He had rejected it so much from anyone who even tried to comfort him at first, telling them to spare him and give it to Al that he'd nearly forgotten what it felt like. He would no doubt feel embarrassed later, but he wasn’t thinking about that now. He just held onto her desperately needing the attention. He had no more words, only tears a while longer until it exhausted him and he couldn't anymore. Then he was drained, finally quiet and just too tired to move.
If he was embarrassed later she’d simply wave it off, he needed support and love and she had it to offer. There was nothing wrong with that, everybody needed it, that was just human nature. She held him and rubbed his back until he stopped crying and even then didn’t move away, she’d stand here all night if that was what he wanted. She was there to do what she could to make him feel better.
He wasn't overly dramatic or emotional on a frequent basis so this was extra hard for him to accept but he was. He really hadn’t dealt with any of this properly. He'd been helping Al too but didn't bother giving himself any time. After a while more he managed to let a shaky hand move to his face to try to clean it up somewhat. It didn’t work all that well. "My eyes hurt. " He admitted awkwardly unsure what else to say just then. He wasn’t used to this.
Riza wasn’t particularly emotional either so it would be a learning curve for both of them but Riza was determined not to led Edward bottle things up inside. She’d be there for him even if all he wanted was someone to shout at. Riza’s way of dealing was heading to the shooting range but she got the feeling Edward wouldn’t find that as comforting as she did. Squeezing him briefly she moved to get some tissues, “Here. Wipe them gently, you’ll find sleeping will help a little. Your eyes will be tired now”
Edward didn’t have a way of dealing with things. At least not a productive way. His often ended in trouble. But no he really didn’t know how to shoot a gun so that comfort probably wasn’t going to work for him. He was rubbing at them with his sleeve when she brought the tissues over. “Sorry..” He probably had kept her up later than she would have been. “Maybe now I can sleep. “ He agreed to at least try. He really didn’t feel like being alone, but he didn’t know how to say it.
They’d work on finding something productive for him to help him cope. Everybody had some mechanism for handling things, they just needed to find Edwards. “It’s okay, you don’t need to apologise for anything” she told him, “Do you need anything? Food, water, company?” She knew it must be strange to be in a new place without his brother, she imagined he might be lonely and there was an extra bed in his room.
Ed hadn’t known that was what the other bed was for. He figured it was there because maybe she was still working on Al. Of course she was, but the fact that she thought he might want company hadn’t even crossed his mind as an option for the reason. “Maybe just the last one. Not that I’m afraid or anything..” He rubbed the back of his neck in a somewhat embarrassed fashion.
The bed was there primarily for when Al joined them, because she was determined that he would. But she also understood that Ed might need the reassurance of another person in the room. It was a big change for him and she’d wanted to make sure he had everything he needed to feel as comfortable as possible. Smiling she leaned over and ruffled in hair, “You are the last person I would ever accuse of being afraid” she told him honestly, “Come on then, we could both use some sleep”
Edward would appreciate the determination if he knew, but he didn’t. His mind was too full of mush there to think much more on it either. Golden eyes turned toward her with a stubborn look of confirmation at her statement. He wasn’t the sort that was easily afraid, the fact that he’d shown this kind of weakness really was just shy of a miracle. He nodded at that and took her hand with one of his own. “Tell anyone and i’ll deny this happened.” He doubted she’d tell anyone about his moment of weakness, but he still worried. Weakness was weakness, and he didn’t like anyone seeing it. He headed for the bedroom for once not rejecting the comfort of another.