Red Bull Gives You Wings (the_falcon) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-10-24 21:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, elizabeth comstock, sam wilson (falcon) |
Who are you measuring yourself against?
Who: Sam Wilson and Elizabeth Comstock
What: Out jogging, chatting, nosebleeds and hospital visits
When: 10/24 morning
Where: Out and about in a park
Rating: PG-13 for nosebleeds and hospital stuff
It was an established fact that if you died in your dreams in Orange County, you didn’t necessarily die in real life. That wasn’t a new thing, and it wasn’t just true in Elizabeth’s dream circle. Plenty of people on the net discussed similar situations; obviously most of them had lived to tell the tale.
But she still hadn’t been prepared for the day that it would happen to her. The pain had been terrible, and she’d woken up still aching from it. It was only a small comfort that Comstock had experienced the same amount of it before he’d died.
She felt more haunted than usual and had to deal with three nosebleeds before leaving her condo that morning. A trip out in the fall weather would hopefully lift her spirits and put her dream trauma far behind her. So she headed out to get a coffee and take a walk in one of the parks. This time with her personal effects a little more secured.
Sam was doing a morning jog. In part it was his way of dealing, though it was less the traumatic dreams and more the void left behind. Working with Captain America, saving the world, helping these people who’d become his friends...it was something he wanted to do more of. But his dreams had stopped, and with them that really interesting second life. Not that he’d wish what happened with SHIELD on anyone, but it had still been an adventure. He was grateful he’d actually managed to help in some way.
Plus Steve and Nat were both hot, so there was that too.
Jogging kept his mind occupied.
Sam was probably used to someone being on his left - after his dreams, especially. But Elizabeth was on his right, and her mind was extremely occupied, too. Seeing all the doors and trying to sort through everything. Did her death even mean anything? Should she be dead, here?
So lost in her own thoughts was she that when he ran past in the opposite direction she walked right into his way. If she'd noticed him coming she probably would have moved, but as it was, she instead let out a little cry of surprise as she bumped right into him.
Her coffee nearly went flying, and she flailed her hands in the air to save it from spilling all over people, "DIEU! Watch out!"
Sam spun around, catching himself and holding his hands out like he was going to catch her coffee. Heroically, he might add. He dropped his hands and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry about that. You okay? I wasn’t watching where I was going. Kinda wish I had.”
The coffee was, thankfully, secure in her hand. Possibly thanks to Sam's heroic intervention. Elizabeth tried to collect herself. One of her hands was still flailing in the air, and even her hair seemed to be startled, a few locks of it curling away from her forehead.
"I'm fine, I'm perfectly-- It's my fault, I run into people all the time." She said, as she recovered herself and twitched her hair back into place. She finally turned her eyes on the person she'd bumped into, and smiled a bit sheepishly, "I should apologize for running into YOU."
“That’s all right, miss.” He held out his hand in greeting. “Like I said, I could watch better where I’m going. Mind been kind of occupied these days. I’m Sam.” And this girl was adorable so he better watch himself.
"I'm Elizabeth..." She said, while taking his hand and giving it a firm shake. He was cute, though she wasn't sure if she was ready to deal with other people yet. Not like that, anyway. Part of her still ached for Booker in all the wrong ways and the other half of her was still getting over Aramis.
She pulled her hand away and tucked some hair behind her ear, "I've been a little preoccupied, too. You look familiar, but I'm not sure why. Have we met before?"
“Maybe on the valarnet,” he replied, dropping his hand to his side and then sticking it in his pocket. “I’m much less handsome in my pictures.”
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, "And you think very highly of yourself, I see."
He grinned at her, charmingly. “Someone has to, right? If you can’t think positive about yourself, no one else will, either. Been around the block too many times to let others change my opinion of myself.”
"No, I suppose that's the right way to go about it. Everyone's always saying that you have to be your best advocate. If you aren't in your own corner then no one else will be, either." It was the same thing as saying that no one cared about you and no one was willing to stand up for you but you. Elizabeth pursed her lips a bit and hugged her coffee against her, "But I think I remember you now. You're the therapist on the Valarnet."
“Kind of. You’re always gonna have people who care about you. But sometimes they might end up not giving you what you need.” He smiled sheepishly and ran his hand over his scalp. “You got me.”
"There aren't always going to be people who care about you," Elizabeth replied, her tone a bit more dark than before, "That's a fact of life. Some people never get that. We aren't born with some kind of entitlement to people who care."
“No. But sometimes a found family is better than the one you share the blood with,” he pointed out, folding his arms and leveling her with a studious look. “And it’s human nature to look.”
"Not always. What about the humans who seek out solitude on purpose?"
Of course, all of the family that Elizabeth had anymore was found family, and it had happened completely on accident. Lena was like a big sister to her, despite her attempts to push her away. Some of the other people in her life were similar case. "I just meant that there are people who aren't loved everywhere. It's... sad, but it does happen."
“Yes. That what you want, though? To be alone and solitary?” It sounded sad to Sam. He could understand the impulse, but he also liked people and being around them. He’d go nuts on his own for longer than a month.
"Does anyone ever really know what they want?" Elizabeth replied, arching a brow. This guy had a way of getting you to talk to him like he was familiar with you instead of a stranger. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Aramis had been that way, too.
It was giving her a headache. She pressed two fingers against her temple, and stole a few sips of coffee before continuing, "I spent my entire life in solitude. When I was finally free, I realised all that I'd been missing. I never wanted to be caged again. But now I'm not so sure."
“You don’t usually know what you want until it’s too late to get it. But that doesn’t mean you stop trying.” Sams shrugged his shoulder. “Maybe you’re not looking at it the right way. Of course you don’t want to be caged, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need structure in your life, right?”
"Structure is good, or you feel aimless. I think I need more of that. I can't exactly carry on with the work my dream self was doing. It's the solitude." Elizabeth pushed her fingers in against the side of her head a bit more deeply, and rubbed. This was one of the worst headaches she'd had to date, and everything was beginning to spin violently, "I don't--"
Her lips fell silent as the world lurched sideways, taking her train of thought and most of her consciousness with it. One of her hands flailed forward, trying desperately to grab onto something that would keep her upright. Blood began to trickle out of her nose, and her coffee fell to the ground, splattering on the sidewalk.
Sam had quick reflexes - catching her before she could fall over. He looked down at her. “Miss? Elizabeth, can you hear me?” The blood was a concern, and he looked around for a place to lay her down so he could tilt her head back. He found a bench, setting her down and leaning her head over the back of the armrest.
It was a stubborn nosebleed, the kind that not even modern first aid techniques could quite tackle. Instead of eventually drying up, the blood pooled and then trickled over, and it became alarmingly clear that the girl needed medical attention. Elizabeth remained unresponsive, even after Sam called in an ambulance.
It wasn't until several hours - and tests - later that her eyes finally began to open. She groaned. Her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and nothing seemed very clear anymore. All of the doors and all of the realities... "Who am I?"
Soulful music greeted her as Sam popped headphones out of his ear. “You ID says Elizabeth Comstock.” He was reclined in a chair and reading a book, as he was wont to do, but usually with handsome blonde men and not pretty young women. Not that Sam really discriminated. He gave her a winning and hopefully reassuring smile. “How you feelin?”
"Who..." Elizabeth shook her head a bit to clear it. Which Elizabeth was the better question. Which one out of the millions of Elizabeths and Annabeths was she? Was she the one that died? Was she the one that came back? She pulled her right hand up and took a good long look at it, then at the man sitting next to her.
Sam. Right. "And my pinky finger doesn't seem to be missing..."
“Well, you’d think you’d notice it would be missing if it was,” Sam said, flashing her a smile. “But it looks pretty whole to me.”
"Some of me have it missing and others don't," Elizabeth replied, her tone a little distracted. She was still trying to sort everything out in her mind. The dreams, the Elizabeths, the different Bookers. All of those doors and pathways and possibilities. She finally realised she was in the hospital a few seconds later.
"I'm sorry. I'm not really sure... what I'm doing here. I spilled coffee on you, didn't I? Everything went a little sideways."
“That’s cuz you went a little sideways. You’re lucky I’m so fast on my feet. I’m a regular twinkletoes.” His tone sobered up a little. “I couldn’t get the bleeding to stop so I had to call an ambulance. You were pretty bad up.” He didn’t comment on the rest of it. Elizabeth seemed disoriented and she didn’t need him calling attention to that.
"It was my nose, wasn't it?" She reached up to touch one of her fingers to her nostril, as if the physical touch would confirm something that Sam's words couldn't. It made her feel a little more grounded in the world, anyway.
"It just does that sometimes. I'm sorry if I frightened you, though you don't sound terribly frightened. I dare say you're happy you got the chance to play hero." That made Elizabeth smirk a bit. The man was likeable, she couldn't help it.
It just does that sometimes. Of course it does. He smiled at her, all lopsided and messy. “Yeah, well it’s kind of in the blood. Maybe I’m not as fast as some other guys, but I do like to do the good do.”
“You did good today, I don’t know anyone who would have acted more quickly. Who are you measuring yourself against?” It seemed like Sam had a specific person in mind, anyway. Turning the conversation back towards him was better than dwelling on whatever was going on with herself.
Well he walked into that one. “Just someone who’s very very good at playing the hero.” No wait, that was wrong. “Well, he really is a hero. Probably the best one I know.” He couldn’t help but keep the fondness out of his voice, but anyone who met Steve tended to feel the same way.
The fondness made Elizabeth arch a brow. It sounded like the way she talked about Booker, or the way Lina talked about that one ex boyfriend of hers. She smirked a bit at him, "Maybe you're more like him than you think. Sometimes we measure ourselves too much against the people we admire."
“Maybe we do. So what I do is think of the things I can do that he can’t. Then we’re even.” Though he’d been told Steve liked to jump out of airplanes without a parachute and, well, that still kinda beat flying, just a little. He smiled at Elizabeth. “But in all seriousness, Elizabeth. Are you really okay?”
Elizabeth sighed, "They probably ran tests? They aren't going to find anything unless they look at them right. It's a dream thing. It's... hard to explain."
She looked around to see if there were any nurses or doctors coming. Though she'd lectured Booker over this very same thing, she really just wanted to get out of there. The coast seemed clear and she decided to sit up and swing her legs over the side. It made her head swim momentarily, "I'm me, but I'm also reliving the memories of another me, and there are thousands more. We aren't all aware of each other but I'm aware of everything. If something happens to them, it affects me as well. Because I can see it. I can see all the discrepancies, but my mind can't always handle the strain."
“Dream things aren’t hard to explain, you just need to say they’re a dream thing an’ anyone that knows a damn thing will understand. Don’t mean we don’t want to help.” Sam sank back in his seat. That sounded like it could be confusing. “Any of them happy memories?”
"No." The dream world, overall, was a horrible mess. Especially the newer ones. If Elizabeth thought about it too hard she could still feel the pain of the drill ripping her apart. She tried not to think about it too hard.
But there were good times, if she sorted back through everything, and she smiled a bit as she corrected herself, "No, there are a few good parts. But the bad outweighs them heavily. Still, it's all bearable because of Booker. He's the good memories, most of them. Even if he's a thug."
“Always find something good to latch on to. Gives you something to help push through the storm. After I lost my wingman, I had to focus on the good times we had, an’ not the fact that he was gone.” Sam nodded at her. “Want me to bust you out?”
"I would love it if you could break me out of here. Use that charisma of yours to sweet talk the nurses, I'll even sign something if I have to." Elizabeth tucked some hair behind her ear and tugged a bit on the bracelet they'd put around her wrist when they'd checked her in. It felt like a shackle, though that was an over dramatic comparison.
"If you weren't my hero already, you'd definitely be one for doing that."
“Well then, lets make me a hero twice over, I’m sure my ego can handle it.” He winked at her and then got up. One nurse to sweet talk, coming up!