Who: Elizabeth Comstock, Lina Inverse What: Elizabeth and Lina get coffees and try to think happy thoughts during the sleepy curse. When: Last day of sleeping curse. Where: Coffee shop. Rating/Warnings: Medium for language and questionable hallucinations. Status: Complete!
Aside from the insanity and the serious sleep deprivation she was suffering from, Lina still had a little voice in her head that expressed some degree of logic. And that little voice had been telling her don’t leave and get coffee, you moron. Stay indoors until this passes before shit gets serious.
There was another voice that came from the depths of her stomach, grumbling with a vengeance, telling her that coffee shit sounds delicious, fucking do it.
Guess which one she listened to?
Exhaustion had fried the energy on reserve for any magic-casting. Lina ideally wanted to use the Ray Wing spell to get there, and once she tried, she kind of wobbled in the air like a headless chicken and almost ended up stuck in a tree (she swore the leaves were razorblades and that the tree had a suspicious mustache she didn’t quite trust). Eventually she caught a cab from someone who actually wasn’t affected and continuously asked about her well-being. The lack of sleep left her pale, her hair was whipped up into a messy ponytail and her bloodshot eyes were rimmed with red. It came from all the eye rubbing to remove the sleepy feeling from them.
She’d spent most of the time with Xelloss. And she could throw around the excuse that it was for his own well being, but in all honesty, she had some sort of twisted, monster-like version of him her around since this all started. Threatening her, telling her horrible things, throwing back all the mistakes she’d ever made throughout her life, how he should have killed her, was just biding his time before he’d given the final order to off her. Being around the real Xelloss had proved this thing to be a figment of her imagination, so, yes, logically, she knew it wasn’t real.
But he still followed her like a ghost, sitting next to her, making comments.
Lina sighed and pointed to the hallucination with a glare. “You. Be quiet. Who said you could talk?”
Then she entered the coffee shop, zombie eyes scanning for Elizabeth. And she at least hoped her mind would still see her as Elizabeth.
Maybe staying at home until things had blown over - or at least, inside someone else's home like Lina had done - would have been better. Elizabeth had spent most of the past few days trying to outrun her own guilt and the extra guilt her mother's spirit kept throwing in her direction, though, and she was quite literally tired of it. Exhausted, even.
Going outside? Well, that was just a way to invite Songbird's wrath, but logic told her that songbird wasn't even there - and plus? She really really needed that coffee drink. It sounded sweet and amazing and if Lina was getting one, too, then that's where she wanted to be. Because at least Lina could blow up anything that came near her.
So she pulled some clothes on and threw a wide-brimmed hat on her head - to block out her view of the sky - and headed outside to wait for her cab. Which may or may not have been a mistake. Because the sky had turned a fiery red and ominous clouds threatened everywhere, and when she looked down she realised she was maybe on Columbia. And then there was the barbershop choir that serenaded her on the cab ride to the coffee shop.
The end result was that by the time she got to the coffee shop the bags under her eyes had grown a new set, "Were there slugs? I had... an adventure. And a barbershop quartet."
Lina offered the girl a sleepy smile. "No slugs. Tree with razorblades instead. Had a bad mustache. I see you made it past Tweetybird with success." Yes, she knew the name was Songbird. She liked her version the best. "How's Booker?"
Her words were followed by a heavy yawn and with a small grunt, she motioned Elizabeth over to the counter so they could carry their discussion over to the selection of caffeinated drinks.
"Razorblade trees sound a little more harmful than gigantic killer slugs..." Elizabeth replied, sleepily. She stretched and stifled a yawn while following Lina to the counter. So far, the coffee shop seemed like a safe space against hallucinations, but Elizabeth didn't dare hope it would stay that way.
She peered around cautiously, looking for anything out of place, "He keeps power napping and then having horrible nightmares where I - or variations of me - drown him in places that aren't... the place I actually... in the dreams, did that."
It was important to point out the 'in the dreams' part, in case someone overheard them and got the wrong idea.
“Ouch. Sounds twisted,” Lina said, making a face. “I’d say at least he’s sleeping, but I’m not sure what’s the lesser of two evils anymore.”
The barista gave the girls a strange look and Lina flashed him a quick glare. It translated to Judge us and I will set you on fire with my mind and they seemed to have understood that like it was plain English. She placed in her order; extra caramel, extra toffee nut, extra whipped cream, and extra espresso. More than what was healthy. And she stepped aside to let Elizabeth order, readying her wallet. It was on her. The girl got her cheese and other exotic French-like foods, she should at the very least provide her with coffee.
“My house is still standing. Right? No one thought they were trapped in a beast’s belly and blasted their way out?”
"I've been very careful not to tornado anything. I tried reasoning with my mother's ghost because that worked in the dreams, but she's angry at everything and... well she isn't even there. I'm only talking to myself." Elizabeth hated how insanely crazy that sounded and was just glad that her mother's ghost hadn't been raising up the spirits of the dead to attack her. Mainly it just stood there screeching at her about things, "I don't have vigors and I'm too tired to portal, really. Booker's fine once he's awake."
Elizabeth ordered her own coffee beverage from the increasingly perplexed - and afraid - looking barista, adding in at least as much espresso and making sure that they added the chocolate shavings on the top. It was when she stepped off to the side that she realised that The Luteces were the ones making the espresso. No, that wasn't right. But it looked like them and it sounded like them.
"...if they start bickering over the finer points of espresso making and how they told me so but I never listen..."
Lina still had a house. That was good to know.
“Yeah, no point in reasoning with a hallucination.” She tried that with the strange monster version of Xelloss, who was currently positioned behind her and whispering strange vulgarities in her ear, but it was all delirious white noise. Lina made a gesture to smack him away, but to anyone else it looked like she was swatting at a fly.
Then she glanced at Elizabeth, squinted, and looked back behind the counter. “Finer points of espresso? Who? What? Do you know them?”
“Um...we have no idea who you people are…” said one Barista and very hesitantly set their drinks on the counter after Lina paid.
"You don't..." Elizabeth trailed off, then squinted her eyes at the people behind the counter, "Of course you don't see them. Nevermind. My mistake."
She grabbed onto her coffee like it was a life raft and slowly backed away from the counter. They still looked like the Luteces and any second now she was certain they were going to start bickering with each other in their usual style. Only she'd be the only one to see or hear it, because they obviously weren't really there. "They're going to call someone and have them cart us off to the asylum, you know. If I keep this up."
“They can try. I’ll just fight them off.” Lina grinned, already figuring she’d been seeing them as people they actually weren’t. When they sat the first thing she attacked was the tower of whipped cream, beautifully spiraled on her drink with little bits of toffee and caramel drizzle. Gawd. This was the closest thing to heaven right now.
Until the whipped cream turned into ash and dissolved into what looked like a soup of eyeballs and a few other witchy ingredient like things. And fish guts. She was pretty sure her coffee suddenly had fish guts.
“Goddamnit,” she cursed and scowled. She glared dangerously at her drink. “This county is the reason why we can’t have nice things. Fishguts. Fishguts in my drink.”
Elizabeth had been picking the chocolate shavings off of her own tower o whipped cream one by one. She was pretty sure that they weren't actually spiders, because spiders on her coffee? They weren't even squirming around, they were just staring at her. She looked up from her spider-picking job to look at Lina's drink.
"I know it's no consolation but I see about half a tower of whipped cream and no fishguts to speak of? But then you probably don't see spiders stare at me from the chocolate shavings, either, and I swear that barbershop quartet is about to start singing again... Do you think you could just blow this place up? Maybe that would distract us from the strange things our drinks are doing."
“I’m so tired I can barely cast a levitation spell,” Lina admitted, shoulders slumped as she gave her drink a miserable stare. It was a temporary conundrum she was facing. She ate donuts that she saw had tentacles coming out of their jelly-filled centers. Eventually she was going to give in and consume her drink. “I don’t see spiders on yours, though. Or a...barbershop quartet--what the hell, Elizabeth? Is there a story behind that, or is it random? Because there’s a story about fishguts for me and I think that’s why I’m seeing fishguts.”
It was really quick story on her behalf. Gourry had made her realize she’d been eating fish guts and then proceeded to throw it all up. It wasn’t anything horrific as it was just plain disgusting, and even after having that memory, she found herself avoiding eating the stomach of fishes.
Still, fish guts in her coffee. Fucking gross.
“Okay, okay. Screw this. Think happy thoughts. Start talking about happy thoughts to me! Favorite memory?”
"Well the quartet..." Elizabeth started, because that wasn't actually that bad a memory all things considered. It was the song they were singing that was the worst part. Over and over, the same one, and it just made her feel like knives were plunging into her heart. She wrinkled her nose and picked off another spider, shutting out the tiny voice that was coming out of the thing as she popped it into her mouth. It shouted for help as she crunched on it, and it made her grimace a bit.
"... They're from my dreams, did Booker ever mention, we're very far in the past in those? It's the early 1900's, a very different time. Women are still wearing corsets under their shirts and long skirts, and all kinds of undergarments. And there are barbershop quartets. This one likes to continuously sing 'God only knows'. They hate me. I want them to go away. But... happy thoughts. Alright. My favorite dream memory - I was standing in my library with a book, I did a lot of reading, and this man came in through a door. At first, I wondered if i'd managed to open some kind of portal. I was startled, so I threw books at him from the balcony. I didn't think he was real until he started shouting at me. And that... was the first time I met Booker."
Lina didn’t bother fighting her grin. “So you threw books at him and he yelled at you for it,” she repeated and decided to not look at her coffee and just drink the damn thing instead. “For some reason I was expecting rainbows and puppies and unicorns farting sunshine. But nevermind.” She was about to add your world’s far from that, but she wasn’t about to bring that up. Their conversation was on good things that would hopefully eat away some of the bad hallucinations they were having.
Really, she didn’t know if it’d work. But giving into these hallucinations and remembering all the meanings behind them would only make matters worse. She knew if she gave more thought to Shabranigdo he would grow and grow, turn into the monster dark lord he was, and the skies would turn to blood and the earth would split.
Which, funny enough, is what she started seeing from the corner of her eye. Ruby eyes with no soul, jagged teeth crowding in a beast’s jaw, the clouds going black and the sky’s blue becoming red. Lina swallowed nervously but kept her eyes on Elizabeth.
"He was the first person I'd ever met or spoken to in person, and he was so... real. I felt bad about throwing books at him, then. But of course, Songbird came to--" Elizabeth winced one of her eyes shut and shook her head, "I don't want to, I shouldn't mention - he's going to show up now, outside the window or something. It's never good when he shows up. He hurts people and we had to run to escape him. But that's the best memory I have. Throwing books at Booker DeWitt."
Elizabeth felt a little antsy, at that point. Like Songbird really would show up and swoop down through the window, and the last time that had happened was very bad. She didn't want anything to happen to anyone at the cafe. Well, anyone that was really there, anyway. "Tell me about yours. You have to have something good, right?"
Lina had to think for a second.
She did, actually. Quite a few things. A lot of her dream adventures ranged from either being really silly, or something strangely dramatic and, well. Dangerous. But she considered herself lucky. All the good memories she’s dreamed always outnumbered the bad ones. Especially with the kind of friends she had.
But to single one out…
“It’s one of the first ones I had,” she said, actually smiling fondly at her coffee with fishguts. Because the fishguts were somewhat relevant. “I got surrounded in a forest by some bandits I might have ticked off. And I could take them, easy, but then this swordsman decides to really dramatically intervene. So, whatever, I play along, screech to fulfill the whole ‘damsel in distress’ part. And this guy’s actually pretty impressive with the sword. Turns out he thought I was some hot babe he could whisk away, and THEN mistook me for a little kid.”
Lina made a face at the memory. “I think the words were actually ‘you’re some flatchested little kid.’ And then he decided to get this STUPID idea to escort me to the next city over. Then he declared himself my protector - even though he’s seen me destroy a town before - and...he’s been with me in the dreams, since. At this point, it’s been a year. In dream-time, that’s he’s been with me. But...that’s when I first met him, and he’s been my best friend since.”
She couldn’t imagine her dreams without Gourry, and she knew her dream-self couldn’t imagine traveling without him, either. Even if he got on her nerves and deserved every punch to the face he got, Gourry was still always there.
The way that Lina spoke about the man in question made Elizabeth smile fondly, even though there were still screaming spiders on her latte that were growing more alarmed every time she picked a new one off. It was a good thing there were only 5 or 6 shavings left. She gave one a very stern eye as she picked it off, as if to tell it that screaming would only delay the inevitable.
"He sounds like a really good friend to have. Even if he thought you were just some kid at first. I'm sure that was insulting, but it seems to have turned out alright in the end?" Elizabeth thought Lina sounded fond of him, in fact, but wasn't sure that was a good thing to point out.
“Yeah. It did turn out okay, I guess.” The way she worded things looked like they’d be accompanied by sigh and an eye roll, but the smile she had seemed to have grown just a little bit more. It was a strange thing, to miss and even like someone you only dream about. She had Amelia, and hell, even Xelloss who she all dreamed about and knew here. Part of her always hoped that Gourry would stumble in one day too, but she wasn’t betting on it.
The happy thoughts only went so far though and Lina suddenly cringed, shutting her eyes tightly and rubbing the bridge of her nose. “The apocalypse is happening outside and there’s a giant demonic crab out there. What about you?”
Elizabeth glanced out the window, and frowned, "The skies are dark and stormy, and there's... Bombs falling from the sky. I think it's the prophecy coming true. Maybe they'll blow up your demonic crab? I think it's another version of the apocalypse, really."
There even might have been Columbia flying overhead of them, but she couldn't really see that from where they were sitting. And she didn't really want to know, either. "Is your latte still fish guts? Mine still has chocolate flake spiders on it, but their screaming isn't getting them anywhere."
"Latte is still fish guts, but delicious fish guts." When Lina opened her eyes, she was still squinting, as if the internal light of the coffee shop was too much for her eyes. "Do they say anything? Like, I imagine them with really squeaky voices going 'you'll never take me alive! Raaawr!'"
The 'rawr' was accompanied by her hands trying to form claws and the baristas looked at them with great concern.
Lina's little hand motions garnered an actual laugh out of Elizabeth, which was rare enough these days - particularly as tired as she was and with the things they were both seeing. But she couldn't help herself. It was goofy in a jarring way.
She shook her head as she picked off the very last one and held it between her fingers, "It's waving its little legs at me and screaming 'help me' in the tiniest voice. But I know it's not really a spider and is just a piece of chocolate, and no help is coming for him anyway. I've already eaten all of his friends."
"Survival of the fittest. Little suckers never stood a chance," Lina said with a sage nod. She, too, was unapologetic for their inevitable demise. She stirred the rest of her coffee, more fish innards and dead worms floating around in what, in her eyes, looked like dirty swamp water. She still smelled coffee so it was the one thing that made her shut hee eyes tight and gulp the rest down like she was guzzling beer.
It went down fairly easy, but the thought alone of washing down fish and worms in dirty swamp water down her throat made her gag.
"This entire thing is a mindfuck."
"It really is. I feel like we'd both be doing better if we could just sleep, but nothing works." Elizabeth let out a long sigh and rubbed at her eyes. They felt like they'd been scratched up by tiny little grains of sand. Hopefully the coffee would work - and now that she'd picked the spiders off of it, she could actually get to the drinking of it.
She tilted the cup back (past the mountain of whipped cream) and went to take a sip, only to discover that everything was spiders. The entire cup of coffee was filled with spiders that had huge eyes and they were looking up at her like they were planning revenged. All in one motion, she screamed and dropped the cup, then tucked her legs up on the chair so that they wouldn't get to her.
All heads whirled around at the scream and Lina jolted because of it. If she was feeling tired, that definitely woke her up, and she scrambled to get a bunch of napkins to help with whatever spilled. “It’s okay! It’s okay!” The baristas were coming over, but then Lina flashed them a glower and motioned them away. “She’s fine, she’s fine! I got this!”
No point in having two strangers approach her, especially since she’d already hallucinate them to be people they actually weren’t. “Hey. Whatever it was, wasn’t real.”
"It's all spiders! All of it is spiders!" Elizabeth shouted. The liquid that had been inside the cup was spilling out all over the floor in a wave of thousands upon thousands of spiders. She was very glad that Lina, her hero, was taking care of the situation.
"I could handle it when it was just a few of them wiggling their legs helplessly but I think these ones are--" She took a deep breath and let it out, trying to let Lina's words sink in. Of course they weren't real, and she was making a scene. She wanted to crawl under a rock, "...not real, not even there, and definitely not trying to crawl up your arm."
Elizabeth saw spilled spiders, Lina was seeing spilled blood. It had been a sudden change - she saw coffee, she knew what it originally was, but the splatters had turned red. It admittedly irked her for a second, but she took a deep breath and cleaned up the immediate mess.
“Maybe we aren’t suitable for public exposure,” Lina whispered, glancing around at all the staring eyes. It was beginning to look creepy and she was paranoid the thought would distort her surroundings into something horrible. She sighed and handed her another fistful of napkins. “Here.”
"... This was a bad idea," Elizabeth admitted. She was actually glad that she wasn't seeing anything worse than spiders, all things considered. But the people around them were definitely being disturbed, and she let out a sigh as she took the napkins and helped Lina wipe the rest of it up.
"We should go before either of us sees anything worse. They're going to cart us off to some asylum or something soon."
“We’ll do this again when we’re not delirious and going batshit insane,” Lina said, gathering all the used napkins to toss them away. The baristas were on standby with a mop and a wet floor sign, but they weren’t about to go near them just yet. It made Lina kind of smirk, actually. “Next time, coffee date’s on you.”