Who: Athos and D’Artagnan What: Worry and revelation When: Monday afternoon Where: Their hotel room Warnings: Low/none Status: Complete
D’Artagnan knew he should eat something, but at the same time he found his stomach rebelling at the very idea of it. This would be the second day he’d not eaten more than a few pieces of fruit. His sense of taste and smell didn’t seem to be active just yet. Nothing tasted like it used to, or maybe it was a side effect of the nightmares. Not all of them he could remember thankfully, but many of them leaked through to his memory sometimes. This was the second day he’d left most of the food remaining on the plate and abandoned it on the table. Normally he’d at least have taken it with him. The only thing that seemed to agree with him, was the small balcony of the hotel room they shared.
Now was no different. The sunlight touched his skin and warmed his body. It felt good after being so out of it the last few days. He hadn’t even bothered to check the internet since waking up, he spent most of his time either beside Athos or avoiding him entirely thanks to the nightmares. This morning was an avoiding day. His head was currently an unpleasant mess. Athos had been extremely patient, D’Artagnan felt bad for not seeking him out just now. He didn’t know how to explain the things he’d seen, nor did he particularly want to.
Athos was worried about D’Artagnan, he’d noticed the lack of appetite since he’d woken up and, of course, he’d noticed when D’Artagnan avoided him. He was hoping it wasn’t doubts or anything. Maybe the only reason he’d woken was because he was Athos’ true love? Did it have to be a two way thing to work? He shook his head, he shouldn’t be second guessing like this.
Of course D’Artagnan was feeling out of sorts, he’d had horrid nightmares for almost 3 days. They were bound to make him feel awful. Maybe a trip would help him feel better. He should suggest the trip Remy had given them tickets for. Looking for his boyfriend he found him on the balcony, slipping out he reached out for D’Artagnan’s shoulder, “Hey, you alright?” he asked.
Had he known those were the sort of thoughts Athos was having he’d have felt rather guilty but really it had nothing to do with that. It had everything to do with the fact that he still saw the things that his brain had twisted. Things that were meant to be fun ended horribly. He sometimes wondered if this reality was true or not. He’d seen so many different versions of it in the nightmares he didn’t know which one to trust. So far this one had been the most stable, but he was afraid it would crumble at any moment as the others had broken down. He didn’t want to lose this Athos, this one hadn’t been cruel or killed; and yet he was afraid.
D’Artagnan started when he felt the hand reach for him. “I’m okay..” He managed. Only hesitantly look back at him hoping in spite of it being dangerous that everything would be okay. “Something wrong?” Had he done something again to disappoint him? The last thing he remembered from Athos was him telling him he’d be the downfall of the group. He wasn’t sure if it was real or not in that moment.
Athos didn’t want him to feel guilty so it was probably for the best that D’Artagnan didn’t know what was going on in his mind. He wasn’t aware of the full extent of D’Artagnan’s dreams, that they were plaguing him even now after the curse had been lifted. He’d have taken steps to try and help more had he known.
“I’m just worried about you D’Artagnan” Athos replied moving to take the younger man in his arms, “You aren’t eating and you aren’t talking to me about it” he spoke softly, gently, letting him know Athos was worried not angry.
He frowned a little at that. “Not hungry.” He admitted, tensing for a moment as the arms moved to embrace him. Athos unfortunately had been the center of many of his nightmares. Many of his worries. D’Artagnan closed his eyes for a moment as he finally felt the warmth of the man beside him. It was a little different than the dreams in that sense. The Athos in them had a different feeling. He couldn’t quite place it. “It makes my stomach hurt. I can’t. ” Athos’ food had never done that before, but if he ate more than a few bites he felt ill. Like he was full and he couldn’t bare the thought of trying another mouthful.
“I’m sorry.” Even if this wasn’t real, he couldn’t help but relax a little in his arms. “I just didn’t want to disappoint you again. I know I cause you a lot of trouble..” He trailed off as he looked anywhere really but his eyes. He didn’t want to look up and see disgust as he so often had in the dreams.
“You have to eat” Athos said, “We’ll work on it I promise” he let D’Artagnan adjust to his hold, he felt the initial tension and simply held him close until he started to relax. Rubbing his hands up and down his back.
“Hey now” Athos said, tilting D’Artagnan’s face up until he made eye contact, “You never disappoint me sweetheart. And you are worth any amount of trouble” all D’Artagnan would find in Athos’ eyes was love, adoration and concern.
He didn’t take long to relax at least. Athos just felt too real to him to not want to be in his arms. At the same time those were his worries. “I’m not hungry anyways.” Those words felt strange even as he said them. He couldn’t recall a time he wasn’t hungry or couldn’t eat in spite of that.
D’Artagnan sighed as he tightened his grip on Athos just a little more when he felt the hand brush his jawline. Finally he had to look up. The cold expressions he’d faced in the dream weren’t there. If he wasn’t too proud to cry, he might have done just that then. “It really is you then?” He reached to touch his jawline tenderly.
That was what worried Athos most, that D’Artagnan wasn’t hungry at all. He should be, he’d slept for three days. He should be ravenous, especially being D’Artagnan who was almost always hungry.
“It’s really me love” Athos confirmed, kissing him sweetly and softly, “I promise” he added holding him tighter. “Maybe we should get away for a few days huh? Do you think that would help? We uh we’ve been gifted a trip to Vegas” he stroked D’Artagnan’s cheek as he spoke.
He wanted to be hungry, but he couldn’t find his appetite. He tried to eat the things Athos had laid out, but so far it was mainly fruit and crackers he was able to keep down. The idea of anything else didn’t sound good to him
“Vegas?” The very last thing he expected Athos to want to do was go to Vegas. The last person he remembered mentioning it was Remy. He looked up at him in confusion. “You know I’m not interested in going with him anymore? I told you..” He was worried it was another dream, a nightmare where Athos had left him over the Remy situation. But he shook his head some as though he realized what Athos was saying and how he responded weren’t correct on some level. “ What do you mean gifted?” He was still rather tired, keeping his attention straight was difficult. His head tilted to the touch, and his eyes closed.
Athos would help him find his appetite again, he was sure time would help and even being out of the county too.
Vegas wasn’t Athos’ first choice but D’Artagnan had been keen and he deserved to have a little fun. As Remy had said. “I know, I know” Athos was quick to reassure him, pressing a kiss to his forehead and holding him close. “While you were asleep you had a visitor. Remy came over” Athos told him, “I haven’t told you because I’ve been worried about you and didn’t want you to be upset” he added explaining quickly. “But he looked out for you while I showered then made some food. But he also left us tickets for Vegas, since he’d got them already. He wanted us to use them” Athos spoke slow and clear for D’Artagnan, he could see his boy was still tired.
His moment of panic seemed to fade at Athos’ soothing tone. “Remy did?” He hadn’t expected the man to be the sort to visit like that. Sure they were friends, but he didn’t realize just how much that friendship meant apparently. Remy was the one you went to for a good time, he was fast and exciting, but when it came to needing someone there he hadn’t been aware Remy would have stepped up and done all that. It only made his impression of the Cajun warm that much more. “I didn’t mean to worry you.” Remy had even cared for Athos when he was unable, despite their strained relationship. It made him smile. “Vegas with you hm?” He considered as though it took some real effort to decide. Like he’d actually say no to that? “If this is a dream, I really don’t want to wake up from it.”
“He’s...not so bad, I guess” Athos admitted grudgingly, “Flirts with anything that moves and can’t take anything seriously but I think he could use a good friend. Someone like you” It was a big thing for Athos to say, especially after everything but the combination of meeting the man and having woken D’Artagnan with a kiss meant he was a lot more level headed when it came to the cajun. “I know that, none of this is your fault love. Don’t think for a minute you have to be sorry” Athos assured him before smiling at the comment, “You like the idea huh? I was hoping you might”
“Now I must be dreaming?” He said teasingly but he was half sure he wasn’t. “You really don’t mind?” That alone seemed to take a lot of weight off the boys shoulders. He’d been carrying it for a while since Athos had seen that kiss. Honestly right now he was glad for any kind of conversation that wasn’t about dreams or nightmares. What he really wanted was a distraction, and both of these topics were perfect.
It seemed to help bring some of the color back to his skin even that had moments ago been more pale than usual thanks to his uncomfortable rest. He knew Athos couldn’t exactly have been thrilled about the idea of Vegas, but D’Artagnan couldn’t be more pleased at the idea. “Yeah. But what about work though?”
“I really don’t mind” Athos said, “No overnighters, I’m still not that trusting of him but yeah. Other than that, I don’t mind. He should be your friend and I shouldn’t try and dictate that part of your life. I’m sorry D’Artagnan” Athos said honestly, because as much as he hated to admit it a lot of what Remy had said was true. D’Artagnan was his boyfriend not a child to be looked after.
Athos, of course, noticed the color and the excitement that was starting to return to D’Artagnan. And while he wasn’t overly keen on Vegas he would go for D’Artagnan and he would try and have a good time as well. “I’ll sort out work, not exactly like it’s particularly busy right now”
He laughed at that. “That’s fair. That part I can promise.” It’d been much harder to avoid Remy entirely then to not go on vacation with him. Vacations could be reserved for Athos or other various Musketeers. He was more than okay with that compromise. And then Athos was apologizing to him, he was slightly confused but it seemed like things were going to improve now. D’Artagnan was going to have more breathing room. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Athos but restrictions on friends caused him to become a bit uncomfortable without even realizing it until now. “If I’d seen someone kiss you I might have done worse than tell you not to see them. I get it.” He was starting to understand now, more than just appeasing Athos. Yet he still wanted to give the Cajun a chance at friendship, and he was glad Athos was willing to let him.
“When he did kiss me I didn’t feel anything.” He admitted. Sure Remy was handsome and fun, but he wasn’t physically attracted to him. “Not like when you kiss me.” He offered Athos a warm smile this time, though his mind was still ten sorts of messed up. He was grateful for any sort of distraction, even if it was a serious conversation that needed to be had. He rubbed at a small spot just above his right eye where a headache was beginning to form however, and his brows furrowed in discomfort. “Think I need something to drink now or maybe advil.” He was pretty sure it was a dehydration headache.
Athos was more than happy to have vacations be reserved for just them or them and the Musketeers anyway. It was definitely a compromise all parties could be happy with. Having D’Artagnan understand more now why Athos had reacted the way he did was definitely a relief and it helped D’Artagnan too in that he would now be able to consider things from different points of view next time. But it had also been a learning curve for Athos too, he needed to loosen up a bit when it came to their relationship and not hold on so tightly. He knew it all came from some deep rooted fear inside that he would lose him somehow but it hadn’t been fair to put that kind of pressure on the man he loved.
“Thank you” he said when D’Artagnan reassured him that Athos’ kisses were the ones that meant something and he kissed him briefly. Frowning he placed a kiss on the spot D’Artagnan was rubbing, “Come on. You need water and pain pills” he kept an arm around his boyfriends shoulders as they re-entered the room. Athos depositing D’Artagnan on the sofa before getting what he needed. In this way he could still take care of him.
D’Artagnan appreciated Athos’ arm there, he needed someone to lean on just now. He was still not walking around very much. He figured it might be linked to his lack of appetite but his entire body felt slow and sluggish. It was an odd sensation for someone who was used to running around and being so very active. “Won’t say no to those.” He chuckled as he lowered his arm when Athos kissed him so sweetly. The gentle brush of lips was soothing.
When he was placed on the couch, he laid down upon it and waited for Athos to return, closing his eyes against the bright lights of the room. They were not helping his headache in the least. “Can you bring some more of those plain cracker things?” He asked him, his arm shielding his eyes from the room. He still couldn’t eat much but crackers and fruit seemed to agree with him at the least.
The lack of energy was a worry for Athos too, his usually dynamic D’Artagnan was now slower and less vivid. He knew the trick was getting him to eat normally again but doing that was a lot harder than it seemed. “Good because that is something I am insisting on” he told him.
“Of course love” Athos said, grabbing a glass of water pills and crackers. He also hit the lights as he went past, having noticed D’Artagnan wincing and covering his eyes. He hoped it was a sign of improvement that he was asking for food. “Here you go” Athos said, setting the things down on the table next to D’Artagnan as he sat on the edge of the sofa.
"My head feels horrible. " He admitted with a small frown as Athos came back with painkillers and a bit of food. The pain wasn't helping his appetite either but he was trying. He didn't want to worry Athos more than he already had. The poor man was going to need a break from him at this rate and that was exactly what worried D’Artagnan. Maybe Athos would get tired of him and the trouble he seemed to attract.
He sat up to take the medicine and eat a couple of the crackers carefully. He leaned against Athos some, needing to know he was really there. " I think getting out of this city right now sounds perfect. " He felt a little better with the lights off, he didn't have to strain so much anymore.
“How else can I help baby?” Athos asked him, because he would do anything. Athos was a natural worrier but luckily for D’Artagnan he handled it fairly well. But his boyfriend didn’t need to worry about him getting tired of D’Artagnan or the trouble. He’d put up with a lot for him.
He moved to sit behind D’Artagnan as he ate and drank letting him lean and take whatever comfort he needed. Raising his hands he began to very gently massage his temples, trying to ease the headache. “I agree, I think some time away is just what we need for a few days”
He shrugged some. “This is good.” Not really wanting Athos to move for the time being. He was getting comfortable with Athos there, it was relaxing. This version of him wasn’t cruel in the least. D’Artagnan was able to let down some of those walls he’d raised for the ones from the dreams.
D’Artagnan shifted until he found the best spot there, his eyes closing at the gentle touch of his fingers. “This helps.” He could definitely fall asleep like this. In fact even if he wanted to he was starting to drift off. He was still worried about being trapped in that nightmare-ish world again but with Athos there he was feeling a little more confident.
“Okay” Athos said softly, hands continuing to move gently on D’Artagnan’s skin. He was very glad to feel him relax more, he knew from the brief things D’Artagnan had said that Athos featured heavily in the dreams he was having. Sometimes he was hurt and sometimes he was the one doing the hurting which were the ones Athos disliked the most. He would never hurt D’Artagnan.
“Then we’ll just keep doing this” he soothed, hoping that if D’Artagnan did fall asleep that Athos’ presence, his real presence, would keep the nightmares at bay.