Who: Logan & Astrid, with a Buffy cameo in the end. What: Astrid returns his lost underpants, Buffy stabs him for sleeping with Dawn. When: Before the sleeping curse. Where: Logan's new apartment. Rating/Warnings: Medium. Status: Complete!
Logan had rented a tiny little studio apartment in a really shitty neighborhood, but it had a dedicated kitchen, and a fridge stocked with beer, so it was home. He nodded to the crack dealer on the front step as he headed inside and took the elevator, smoking a cigar casual like. “See? Ain’t bad.”
Ain't that bad my ass.
"Pretty sure I know some people who bought drugs from that guy," Astrid commented, brows furrowed. If it was anyone else living here she'd be concerned, but this was Logan. "We'll see if this is better than your hovel."
"Yeah, I got my eye on him," Logan said. He figured if he caught him selling to some kids he'd kick his ass over it.
It wasn't so bad inside. It was clean and more decorated like home. It seemed as though Logan had a distinct thing for Japanese paintings, and what looked like genuine Samurai swords mounted on the wall.
"Okay, much better than the hovel." Actually, 100% Astrid approved is what she really meant. "I'm impressed. Does that mean you have an actual bed or is it still something loke a hammock?"
She teased, really. The smile showed.
“It’s a real bed. But I like hammocks.” He folded his arms stubbornly. “It could be worse, darlin’. Plenty o’times I slept on the ground in the woods. Or with wolves.” A beat. “Literally was raised by wolves in my dreams off an’ on.” Another beat and a smirk.
Astrid gave him the most deadpan look for several seconds after that explanation.
“That probably explains the hair. And the scruff,” she then added, grinning like the little snot she could be. Her hands fished into her bag for a second and out came a familiar pair of undergarments that obviously did not belong to her. She tossed it at his face. “By the way, you left this. In my couch. And almost ruined my date.”
Logan rolled his eyes. pulling the underwear off his face. “Sorry ‘bout that. I wondered where these went.” He tossed them into a hamper, then grinned. “Can’t imagine how that went.”
Astrid’s cheeks reddened, but she tried to blow it off, looking semi-annoyed for the sake of distracting away from her obvious embarrassment. “Yes, you can. Imagine it going very awkward while watching the first Jurassic Park movie.”
“Good movie, but dinosaurs ain’t nothin’ like that. They’re fuckin’ worse.” As if he’d met dinosaurs. Of course he had. He was Wolverine.. “How’d he even find ‘em?”
The color on her face only brightened at his question. So she did her best to deflect it, and started to fan herself with a piece of paper from her bag. “So you were around during the Jurassic era? Really Logan? I can believe the claws and the immortality part, but dinosaurs?”
“There’s this place called the Savage Land where dinosaurs still roam. There’s this guy down there called Ka-Zar. Pretty good man. Occasionally you get a supervillain bringing a t-rex into Times Square, too.” Logan shrugged his shoulder, his smirk going wider. “How’d the date go? Anythin’ hot an’ heavy?”
Instead of imagining how her date went, Astrid tried to imagine the thought of a t-rex rampaging in Times Square. And then that thought transplanted the t-rex into Orange County, in which case if that happened, she had to wonder if ‘being completely still’ was an actual valid method of keeping a t-rex off you.
“I’d kill to see that in the news.” At this rate, her neck was red.
“We had a kaiju once.” Again, said casually. “It never made landfall so I didn’t get to have fun with that one. You’re dodgin’ the question darlin’. Date go that bad? Or that good?” He nudged her shoulder.
It was at that nudge Astrid finally spilled it. It was almost like the redness had been coming from her holding her breath this entire time, because once she started speaking, the redness went away. “First one was awkward. Thanks, or no thanks to your underwear. Second one went a lot better. Now we have an inside joke dedicated to you.”
“Hey, you made it to a second date despite my unmentionables.” He grinned at her, moving to the fridge to get them some beers. “Gonna be a third?”
“And possibly a fourth.” Astrid rolled her eyes with a smile. “Um, turns out we dream about the same world. And each other. Although dream-me doesn’t like him very much. Things he’s a lanky little snot taking her spotlight.”
“Yeah, that kinda thing happens. Dream bleed over.” It was like a sudden, intense...well not always an attraction. Just feeling that link. “Take it he ain’t a pansy in the wakin’ world?”
“I can break him on my knee probably. But he’s got a weird dorky kind of charm to him.” Astrid shrugged. She didn’t really know what it was. A link from the dreams, maybe, but again, her dream-self wasn’t all that enthused with Hiccup. And Hiccup should know that, so it surprised her that they’d at least gotten to the ‘second date’ part.
If second dates involved heavy making sessions with groping and the second Jurassic Park movie in the background, anyway.
“Sounds cute. The breakable ones usually got heart.” Logan smirked, wryly. He’d been frail and week the first...thirteen years of his life. It wasn’t something he liked to think about much. He worred about Amy sometimes, but his baby was far away and out of reach. He pushed that thought away.
“If that’s what they call it, then he’s got it.” Hiccup had been the first guy she’d really had around for...a while, actually. She had a lot of guy friends that always wanted something else, but they were always too macho and very obviously trying to impress her, and she didn’t dig it. It was nothing serious for now, and she didn’t even know if it would become anything serious.
“Anyway, aside from my dating life, I’m glad you got something nice.” Astrid smiled. “This actually feels like a home.” Which maybe meant that Logan was finally feeling a bit better about...everything. It was a step, right?
“Yeah, it kinda does. Ain’t sure I’m gonna stay here long term. Might move to a better neighborhood, but…” Logan shrugged a shoulder. “But it’s home.”
Astrid laughed softly and nudged him with her elbow. "Remind me to get you a proper house warming gift soon. Just to make the entire thing official."
“Yeah, an’ what would that be? Another microwave?” Logan eyed her. “Sorry ‘bout the other one. It got blown up too.”
“Eh, it’s fine. I spent ten bucks on it at Good Will.” She smirked. “So your next housewarming gift is probably coming from there, too. No offense.”
“I don’t mind. You don’ need to break the bank, darlin’. Hell, if you want, I think I know how I can thank you.” He rubbed his chin, eying her up and down. “We can knock your guys’ socks off.”
Astrid blinked a few times, her face blank in confusion. “What do you mean by--”
Suddenly, there was someone at the door. Three hard knocks, although from the force behind it, it sounded like someone was punching the door instead. Astrid jolted, stared at the door, and then slowly looked back at Logan. “Are you expecting someone?”
“Was thinkin’ I could get you a reservation at a fancy…” Logan looked at the door, then sniffed. “No. Don’t recognize the scent either. Some girl.” He walked to the door and opened it. He had maybe an inch on the blonde outside. Maybe.
She was small. Almost harmless looking, if it weren’t that wide smile showing those pearly whites of hers in a suspicious kind of way. “Hi, I’m Buffy. You had sex with my underage sister.”
She held up a stake.
Astrid’s eyes went a little wide. “Uh, Logan?”
Logan just looked at her blankly, and sighed. "Look, I ain't gonna make excuses, it happened an' I shoulda known she was lyin', but you really don't want to get into it with me, darlin'. Just gonna make a mess an' I don't think it'll make you feel better."
Buffy crinkled her nose, made a very displeased face and checked Logan out from head to toe. She was thinking about it, until she heard Astrid’s voice. She blinked and then pushed herself into the apartment.
And all Buffy saw was a young girl, maybe around Dawn’s age, with a beer. She looked at Astrid, and then looked at Logan, and then back and fourth and--
“Seriously? Another one? You like them just barely legal, don’t you?”
Logan started laughing. “Me an’ her?” A beat. “No offense.” He held up his hands. He knew this didn’t look good and pointing out that Dawn was the exception might get him stabbed. But maybe it would make her feel better. He could take one for the team.”Dawn was kinda the exception to the rule.”
“None taken,” Astrid said, rubbing the back of her head. “And we were just having a conversation, of the not creepy variety. Really.” She couldn’t believe she was vouching for Logan against some chick she didn’t know on whether or not he liked screwing underage girls…
Astrid thought this was actually pretty amusing.
Buffy? Not so much. She stared Astrid down, hands on her hips while the stake was very much present in her clutches, and then looked back to Logan.
“Who the heck is Dawn, anyway?”
“My baby sister.”
“Oh.” Astrid shut up and sipped her beer.
After ‘assessing’ the situation, Buffy finally crossed her arms and glanced over at Logan. “I guess it didn’t help that she lied and roped you into that situation. You seriously need to learn how to ID people. Kitty said it was okay to stab you since you heal and all, but…” she sighed. “I guess I don’t need to take it that far.”
“If it would make you feel better,” Logan said, scrunching up one eye. Kitty was already not talking to him for dream related reasons, he wasn’t sure he wanted Astrid pissed at him, too. But it wasn’t like he hadn’t done anything.
Astrid’s eyes widened and she practically spit her drink. “Logan, you can’t be serious.”
Buffy stared at him skeptically, but then slowly pointed her stake to him.
“Logan, I know you can heal and all--” Astrid was cut off when the stake was driven into his stomach, and she promptly dropped her beer - thankfully it was an empty bottle - on the floor. “Are you nuts? You just STABBED HIM. LITERALLY. STABBED HIM.”
“It’s like a giant splinter,” Buffy grunted, pulling the stake out. “He’ll heal. I feel a lot better now, actually. Thanks.”
Logan grunted, and looked down. His shirt was ruined, and the wound seemed to take an inordinate amount of time to heal (at least to those who've seen him heal before). But it healed."Gonna need a new shirt."
“Oh, wow.” Buffy stepped back and crouched to take a good look at the wound, and watch the rest close up. “She wasn’t joking. Well, isn’t that just the handiest superpower to ever have?”
Astrid slapped her hand against her forehead and let out a heavy, exhausted sigh. “I can’t believe I just saw that happen. I’m gonna need another beer. Jesus christ.”
“Get me another one. There’s pretty much nothin’ but beer in there.” It was his four basic food groups. Beerios for breakfast…He popped his claws. “Healin’ comes with extras.”