Who: Jubilee, Laura (X-23), and Garrus What: The prelude dinner to what will be a very interesting threesome. Almost painful due to Garrus being awkward. When: Early August, not too long after Garrus' arrival. Where: Restaurant Rating/Warnings: High for language and innuendos. Status: Complete
Jubilee had dragged out a blue dress for this. Wanting to impress both Laura and Garrus. She wasn’t sure what she was thinking, or where her and Laura stood, so the objective was to have fun (or at least pretend to have fun).
She smirked as she rocked up to the restaraunt in her bright pink and yellow VW bug, and slipped out of the car. It was still daylight out, and she fingered the ancient looking amulet hanging around her neck. It was the only thing keeping her from turning to dust. Otherwise, she had on her favorite sunglasses, and put on her best fake smile.
Waiting by the entrance was Laura, in a little black dress. She was wearing heeled sandals instead of her customary combat boots, but still had a leather jacket on over it. Her hair was down and curled, and she'd actually gone the extra mile to apply some makeup.
It was just as much to impress Jubilee as it was to impress this man, Garrus. The only jewelry she ever bothered with wearing at the moment was a somewhat gaudy-looking ring on her pinky, with a blue stone. She was twisting it around on her thumb as she waited, but when she smelled Jubilee approaching she stopped and looked up at her, "I think he is already waiting inside. He seems very punctual."
Garrus, indeed, was waiting inside and not sure what the fuck was going on anymore. He did not expect quite the “welcome” he received upon joining the network and, really, was a little nervous agreeing to dinner with women he’d just met. Sure, they seemed lovely, and it was kind of his idea, so he would feel horrible for backing out.
Today could either end very well, or very bad.
He was dressed in a well-pressed suit, although the buttons around his neck had suddenly felt suffocating so he undid about two for air. Taking in a deep breath, he looked at his watch and scanned the restaurant for anyone that looked familiar.
His phone was readied on the table, in case he had to text anyone for advice. And by ‘anyone’ he probably meant Shepard, a woman he’d just met and knew he sucked.
Jubilee tossed her keys at the valet, then pulled her glasses down past her nose to check Laura out, red eyes widening a little. "Lookin' good, chica." She held her arm out so they could walk in arm in and arm super-impress the man.
"You know I didn't actually expect this idea to get this far, right?"
Inside, her eyes adjusted quickly, but she pushed her sunglasses back up. She could just say it was a light-sensitivity issue.
She pointed. "There he is. Damn. He's fiiiine."
Shepard, meanwhile, actually had her phone nearby while she did exercises her doctor said she wasn't supposed to do. Oops.
"MMm," Laura grunted, in response. He was definitely 'fine', and she lifted her head up a bit as she took in the scent of him. It was a habit, though she suspected that other people would have found it creepy if she'd admitted it. He smelled nervous, and she couldn't help but smirk a bit at that, "He is very good looking. And nervous. We should try to act less like spiders who are about ready to pounce on a fly."
She nodded, though, at Jubilee's other comment, "But I know you didn't. It was a joke, maybe. A half joke. To see if I was still interested. I obviously am."
Laura hooked her arm through Jubilee's and started heading through the restaurant, giving Garrus a wave with her hand. It was stiff, like acting casual wasn't her usual thing.
Once he recognized the two, walking in arm-in-arm, Garrus swallowed.
He was going to have his hands full. Mostly in a metaphorical sense, and if it led to a physical sense that was generally considered sexy, he was pretty okay with that too.
He returned the wave to motion them over. He stood from his seat out of respect and waited for them to come over and take a seat, all while he busied his hands smoothing out his suit jacket.
Jubilee had a second to gape at Laura before she put her face back on, and grinned. She had sharp teeth, so it made her look a bit more predatory than she wanted, and way less cute, and she was trying to look cute. “Lookin’ good, G-man!”
"That is a very nice suit. It flatters your figure and the color goes well with your eyes," Laura complemented, in her matter-of-fact way. She pulled off her jacket and and took a seat on one side of him, leaving the other side for Jubilee. So that Garrus could be the filling in a hot lady sandwich, of course.
"I hope we didn't keep you waiting too long."
Jubilee shrugged her own jacket off, with all the grace a gymnast vampire could pull off. Pink sunglasses stayed on as she plopped next to him. “Laura is the queen of compliments.”
Either way, the compliment was just as cute in person as it was online. He sort of wondered if it was just a way of typing - but apparently not. Didn’t bother him, though.
“Thank you. Both you ladies look...smokin’.” Smokin’. Was that even a word anymore that meant anything besides what fire creates? Another strike for Garrus putting his foot in his mouth. After a mental dropkick to the part of the brain that even told him to talk, he sat down. “Nice place. It’s good to get acquainted with the eats around here. Ah, feel free to get whatever you like. Drinks included, of course.”
After all, this was his idea. Might as well not be the cheap ass here.
"I think Garrus might be the King of them," Laura joked. She scooted her chair in closer to the table and did a quick check of their environment before reaching for the menu. It never hurt to be prepared, and X-men dates rarely just went smoothly, even here in this universe.
She looked it over, "But I like it. I've heard the term 'smoking ass hot' before and while I don't think that anyone would actually be able to cook anything on either of our asses, the sentiment is appreciated. This food all looks good. I'm not sure what to get."
Jubilee was trying to figure out what she could stomach without getting sick. She waved a hand. “That’s because you are smokin’ ass hot.” She grinned at Garrus. “Lady doesn’t know what kind of hot she is, but I know. I’m the Hotness and I know hot when I see it.”
Garrus was quick to learn Laura had quite the gift for words. Or just a way of explaining things. He took a quick gulp of his water to treat the dryness his mouth suddenly felt. Probably a nerve thing.
“Gonna have to agree with the Hotness over here,” he said. “She’s got good taste. I’m sure if we could cook something on your ass, we would both eat it.”
After saying that, he sighed.
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t offensive, was it?” He needed a drink, so when the waiter rolled around to collect their beverage orders, he placed one in for scotch on the rocks. He’d never been in a situation where he had to entertain a potential threesome, and right now he almost thought it’d be safer if he shut up and let them have a conversation instead.
It hadn't been offensive, but Laura decided to wait until the waiter had left the table before responding. Since she wasn't sure about the beer that was on the menu, she ordered herself a glass of top shelf whiskey - neat, with no ice.
After they were left to themselves again, she looked up from her menu and smirked at Garrus, "Perhaps we could try that with breakfast."
Jubilee would have choked on her drink if she’d had a drink, so instead it was more of a dry choking. She fanned herself. “Warning, yo. I bite.”
Well, at least everyone seemed to be on the same page.
The waiter returned with their drinks and Garrus immediately grabbed his, taking a quick gulp before setting it down. It burned all the way down his throat, but the sensation was oddly soothing and helped his nerves. “Breakfast is good. Biting is, too. No complaints.”
Of course, he didn’t really understand what biting really meant to Jubilee at the moment.
“So, I’m curious. How did two women of seemingly opposite personalities meet and become friends?”
Really, it was eating at him. On one hand, you had Laura, who had a very precise and...literal demeanor. And Jubilee, who overdoses on sugar on a possible regular occasion. There was a story in there somewhere.
That question was difficult to answer and Laura was certain she'd handle it far too bluntly for everyone's tastes. She picked up her whisky glass and sipped it, then glanced at Jubilee, "Do you want to field this one?"
Jubilee gave Laura a look, like 'gee thanks.' How the hell was she going to answer this without sounding like a maniac?
She settled back, then sighed, and pushed her glasses up onto the top of her head. Her pupils glowed eerily red and when she grinned her fangs were much more pointed.
"You know I actually don't remember, because for me it was a long time ago, but for her it was a lot more recently. You want the long version or the short version, son?" It would probably need to be the medium version but JUST to get to the point would take some explanation.
Now Garrus got curious. “The in-between version,” he clarified. Not an overly complicated one, but not entirely a short one that would keep him asking questions over and over that it would eventually turn into the longer explanation.
“But, before we get too deep….appetizers?” he suggested and opened the menu to them with a shrug. “I feel this is a story that needs food and drinks. You ladies decide.” He’d choose one himself, just in case they got options that would activate his allergies and cause him a near death experience.
"I'll have something light," Jubilee said, settling on some cheese sticks. She figured that wouldn't have garlic, right? Oh. "Just don't order anything with garlic, I'm allergic to even the smell."
There seemed to be very few things on the menu that didn't involve garlic in some way, especially when it came to the spicier dishes that Laura preferred. She'd forgotten about that, which was somewhat ironic considering she'd been a vampire herself just a month or so ago.
"I will avoid the garlic hummus with the pita bread, then. Buffalo chicken wings. That should be safe enough. It is more vinegar than garlic." Laura nodded at her choice and set her menu down. She'd get a pepper crusted steak for her main course, which would be flavorful but not make Jubilee flinch.
She hoped. Then she remembered that Garrus had mentioned a lot of food allergies and she glanced at him, “You will probably not want to eat those. I can ask for the sauce on the side? Then the wings will be plain.”
“If you don’t mind,” he said, a bit relieved at their choices and closed the menu. Once the waiter returned, took their orders and left to put them in, Garrus began to slowly nurse his scotch. “Now that thats been taken care of, I believe it’s story time.”
"I'm gonna sound crazy. But okay. Uh." Jubilee waved her hand. "There are two parts to this story. There's the part that doesn't exist anymore and there's the part that does exist and they're kinda related. You picked the weirdest county in the world to move to, because all kinds of crap happens in these borders." Usually. Sometimes the crap happened outside the borders too!
She pointed at her red eyes. "These aren't contacts." She lifted her finger, and a ball of light appeared, rising into the air before paffing like a miniature firework. "I'm not entirely human."
She pointed at Laura. "She isn't either. We met fifteen years ago, when I rescued her from an abusive household as a baby. And that was after I got thrown back to the 1840s when a time machine exploded and things are even more fucked up now because people are missing and other people are different than the way they are now and that's probably my fault because I totally did things I shouldn't have... But anywho, I know what her life was like before so I wanted to make sure she didn't have to go through that again. Then I checked on her again when she was in high school, then she got it in her head to try to find me."
Another paff, and Jubilee sat back.
That was actually more straightforward of a tale than even Laura had been planning on telling, and she stared at Jubilee for a few seconds. Not that she had any intention of hiding who she was, but she was learning that there actually were times and places for that kind of discussion. Their date was probably going to be scared away.
But since the story was told and there were fireworks going off in the restaurant already, she shrugged a shoulder and glanced at Garrus, "You will want another drink for the rest of it, I think. If we haven't already scared you away. But she's right. Orange County has the ability to change people, and it made us into mutants. I heal very quickly and will live two to three times longer than most humans. Most of that time, I won't age. I have better senses, and I have claws. I was going to divulge this information before anything intimate happened, of course, but I would have chosen a more private setting for that conversation."
Garrus has been politely quiet while the mess of the story unfolded. In the beginning he’d been in the process of holding the rim of the glass against his mouth, ready for another sip, but once Jubilee’s explanation got strange - which it did, and quick - along with even a small demonstration of what she was talking about, he had been literally frozen into the pose.
The most expressive thing he did was raise an eyebrow. Because the entire thing was most definitely eyebrow raising worthy. And then when Laura piped in, he finally set down the glass, gave his head a scratch, and then very casually rubbed his nose.
Usually before people get involved in, uh, sudden sexual activities with people they just met, it’s common courtesy to at least share if they’ve had any sexually transmitted diseases. Or if they were married. Or if there was something weird going on with their genitalia to avoid surprises.
Once the appetizers arrived, Garrus cleared his throat and gave the waiter a smile. “Another whiskey, please. Make it a double.”
But he hadn’t run yet, so there was hope.
Neither of them had to worry about anything sexually transmitted. Laura healed nigh instantly and Jubilee’s condition pretty much cleansed anything. “Welcome to the weird, yo.”
She gave him bonus points for not taking off! But then, when she’d told Kit-kat who she and Laura were going to go see, the brunette had started laughing and had still been laughing about ‘calibrations’ when she’d hung up, so he had to be someone, right?
It was probably better if Laura didn't pop a bit of claw right there in the restaurant to demonstrate her own powers. Instead, she nodded her head and sipped at her own whisky. It was good, though she desperately wished that she got drunk at all off it, "I am surprised you aren't running away from us. You're very brave. Or perhaps your legs are too frozen in place to move."
“I’m going to be honest and say it’s likely to be a mixture of both,” he honestly expressed, and even though his glass was empty, his fingers never let it go.
On one hand, there could be something in the water and that little ball of light was a trick of illusion. Or they were drug addicts. Or, and this was even crazier - they could be telling the truth, and Garrus had just accidentally found himself down the rabbit hole of the United States.
“And you did show some proof. Can’t say I’ve heard crazier things, though.” Garrus couldn’t believe he was practically saying he believed them, either.
But if it was true, he assumed more evidence would be presented in a place not-so public.
Rabbithole. Definitely rabbithole. "You'll totes get a show later," Jubilee promised, whether that was a sexy show or a crazy show was yet to be determined. The last (only) time she'd had a threesome had been before she'd reset the timeline and it was best never to think of that again.
"My claws are covered in metal and can be mistaken for me carrying knives," Laura added, by way of explanation. She piled a few of the wings on her plate and pulled the wing sauce away from Garrus's side of the table, in case the smell did something unpleasant to him. After taking a moment to carefully slosh one around, she added, "It isn't really a mistake. They are knives, but they are knives that are attached to me and I cannot drop them on the floor if the police come to yell at me. I will show you later if you like. But we are telling the truth."
His refilled whiskey had been occupying his appetite, even with the beautiful presentation of wings on the table. But they did get the sauce on the side for him, so the least he could do was actually part take. Garrus took one wing, but he still looked distracted.
“I’ll take your word for it.” Not by choice right now. “And taking into consideration your...story,” he said, not sure if that was even the right word for what he just heard. “What is it with this particular area that...changes people? That’s what I don’t really get.”
“Ever hear of a show called Sliders?” Jubilee hadn’t, but Kitty had used it to explain her own theory about Orange county. She didn’t make a move towards the food, and instead nursed her water. Slowly.
“Can’t say I have, no,” Garrus said.
"Basically, Jerry O'Conner makes a device and he and his friends get lost jumping through different alternate realities. Like one where their genders are flipped, or another where the Nazi's won Dubya Dubya Two, or like one where they have super powers." Jubilee was using her hands to illustrate this as she talked. "So like...what if there's a place where worlds collide, and you wake up a super hero?"
"It's the theory of the multiverse," Laura added. The wings were extremely good and she'd already worked through her plate of four. She glanced in Garrus's direction and pushed the plate in his direction, "You should have a few more. It will soak up the alcohol you're drinking, and they are very good, even without the sauce."
He decided it’d be best to follow Laura’s suggestion and dug in more. He did ask how they met, and they did answer. He just never guessed the level of, um, complicated it all was. “The theory makes sense. So you’re all remembering alternate versions of yourself. And acquiring whatever abilities you might have there. Right?”
Garrus looked doubtful, but it was mostly him just trying to put the pieces together while eating a chicken wing.
“Give the man a prize!” Jubilee laughed, throwing her head back as her feet kickled under the table. “And a bonus for not running away. Just wait until I take you both for a ride.” She grinned, her eyes glinting. Laura knew what she meant, she was certain of it.
"That is the best explanation for what's going on here, yes. And I think you do deserve a prize for not running away." But 'going for a ride' was something that Laura was certain Garrus wasn't ready for. Especially since she knew Jubilee was talking about running around on her back 'flying' and not the ride that involved naked fun times.
She fixed Jubilee with a look, "The only rides I'm interested in tonight involve the three of us in a private setting."
“That suggests there’s another form of ‘riding’ that I’m not familiar with.” The first form, of course, was the fuckfest. The second got him curious, and he smirked at Jubilee. “Now you’ve gotta tell me. I don’t think you two could tell me stranger things tonight.”
Jubilee eyedarted, then slid her hand under Garrus’s butt and lifted him a few inches, like she was just lifting a light book. Then she set him back down and looked innocent. “I can princess carry you and jump over buildings!”
Oh that was it. All of this showing off was going to get them kicked out of the restaurant. Laura kicked Jubilee under the table, "Stop that. We are trying to enjoy our evening as normal people in a normal restaurant, and I am looking forward to eating my steak. I do not want to be kicked out because you could not 'keep it in your pants'."
With the look he got, one could almost assume something that shouldn’t be lodged up his ass was somehow, someway, lodged up his ass. “I’ve got mixed feelings there. The ass grab was okay. Still not sure what to think about the brutal strength. And...don’t princess carry me anywhere. Not sure if I could ever let myself live that down afterwards. Other than that, remind me not to piss you off.”
“I like him,” Jubilee said. She didn’t so much flush as grow less pale in her cheeks. “Fine, fine, I’ll behave, but you owe me later, chica.” Her tone was flippant, and she didn’t think Laura owed her anything, but she could almost believe that she was her old self. It felt like it and that was something to grab on to.
No one was like their old selves after coming here, and Laura felt that keenly at times. Especially around someone who hadn't started dreaming yet. But she liked the fact that her personality and speech patterns had changed enough that she got away with saying things like the thing she was about to say.
Completely deadpan, and without even a smirk, "I will pay you back with cunnilingus."
Garrus went quiet for a second after that, looking between Jubilee and Laura.
“So, is this payback a private thing between you two? Or is this happening tonight?” And really, he wanted to know if he got front row seats for this. Their entrees came and Garrus was honestly tempted to package it all to go to get the show on the road.
“Oh don’t worry you’re gonna get the first class treatment. Hotness knows how to make it memorable!” Jubilee actually was blushing at Laura’s comment, which was a small feat unto itself. She laughed, a little nervously.
"We will make sure that you enjoy yourself, too, is what she's trying to say. Assuming that you still want to go through with that. And you can watch that kind of thing if you want to." Laura thought that watching a woman do that to another woman would be entertaining, and didn't see why he'd have a problem with it either. The idea that they'd be putting on a show actually appealed to her for some reason or another.
She dug into her steak, then, with the sort of efficient determination that betrayed how quickly she wanted to be finished with it.
Garrus was more worried about him not living up to any expectations. Did they have expectations of him? These weren’t you’re two regular girls fresh off the street. One could, literally, grab him by the ass and hold him like a baby with ease, and the other one had claws in her fist.
CLAWS.
Then, he noticed something get tight, and looked down at himself.
Without saying anything, he scooted closer to the table, unwrapped his silverware from the linen and put it on his lap and ordered another drink.
Jubilee remembered another Laura in another time, and it made sense that a little bit of exhibitionism had translated even after the time line got messed up. Though she was quite happy that all those videos they’d shot and put on the internet had gotten deleted because they’d never happened. Very very happy and grateful, because all that had been so wrong on so many levels.
She glanced at Garrus. “You okay?”
Laura only smirked. She knew that smell. Garrus was not okay but when they were done with him he definitely would be. Assuming they could get him out of the chair and through the restaurant without embarrassing him.
Garrus cleared his throat and distracted himself by cutting into his food. “Fine, actually.”Nothing major. I just popped a hard on thinking about claws coming out of someone’s fist. No big deal.
He didn’t eat much of it though, and then opted to set his silverware aside and look around. “So. We’re skipping the cheesecake, right?”
“We’re skippin’ the cheesecake,” Jubilee said, squirming a little where she was sitting. She was glad she’d had some wolvie cola before coming, because being ravenously hungry and horny was a bad combination for a vampire.
In response to both Garrus and Jubilee, Laura raised her hand up and caught the Waiter's arm as he passed by. "We would like the check, please."
Her business-like tone was all the Waiter needed to hear to know that they were in a hurry.
Garrus fished through his pocket and took out cash to cover the expenses. “One of your places, or mine?”
For once that cliche line was actually appropriate.