Remus Lupin (answertoten) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-07-29 19:14:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, remus lupin, sirius black |
Who: Remus Lupin & Sirius Black
What: Remus Finishes Dreaming
When: Backdated: End of July; Middle of the Night
Where: Their House; Bedroom
Rating/Warnings: Pretty Much Family Friendly. Mentions of canon deaths.
Status: Complete!
Remus hadn’t really thought much at all about what the end of his dreams would mean. Of course he knew that the world they lived in in the dreams was dangerous and people they knew were being killed almost daily. The battle was approaching and it meant that there would be casualties. Of course Remus hadn’t actually thought that he would be one of those casualties. He and Tonks had been battling Death Eaters just like everyone else, but one wrong move. One moment of distraction and it had proved fatal for the both of them.
As the flash of green faded, Remus opened his eyes and found himself staring up at the ceiling of his and Sirius’ bedroom. Their bedroom in their house in Orange County. He wasn’t in Scotland. Wasn’t at Hogwarts and he certainly wasn’t dead. Sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair as the dreams replayed in his head like a montage; he and Tonks getting married. Their son being born. The battle and then nothing.
Glancing over at the clock, he noted the time then glanced at Sirius who was sleeping and reached out to shake his shoulder lightly, “Sirius..”
Sirius swatted at Remus’ hand and grumbled, trying to bury his head deeper into his pillow. But when Remus shook him again, the dark haired man sighed and opened his eyes. “What?” he whined. “It can’t possibly be time to wake up yet, Remus. Go back to sleep.”
Remus had suspected that Sirius would have this exact reaction, considering it was still dark out and all, but Remus would never be able to get back to sleep if he didn’t talk to someone about his dreams and Sirius was right there, “Sirius, I died.” Sure, he could have said almost anything else, but he was certain that that would get his sleepy boyfriend’s attention.
“No, you didn’t. You’re talking and I can hear you, so you didn’t die. But if you don’t let me sleep, I might kill you.” Sirius blinked to let his eyes adjust to the darkness and noticed the odd expression on Remus face. “Wait… you mean you died in a dream or something? Are we talking about a regular dream, or one of those kinds of dreams?”
Remus was about to correct Sirius when it appeared that the other man finally caught on and he nodded, “It was one of the dreams. During the battle at Hogwarts. Two years after you fell.” He still didn’t know how to categorize what had happened to Sirius in the dreams, but he didn’t like to think that he’d actually died even if the rational part of him knew that was likely what had happened.
“Okay. So like you said though when I had mine, it’s not actually real. And you’re not dead. Right?” He untangled himself from the blanket and sat up, reaching over to affectionately ruffle Remus’ hair. “I don’t know. The dreams and stuff that happens out here? None of it makes any sense to me. Half the time I don’t know if that’s our real life and world, or if this is. Because it doesn’t make any sense why the stuff crosses over. It shouldn’t.”
Remus nodded, smiling as Sirius ruffled his hair, “No, I’m not dead. It was strange though. Seeing it like that. I was battling Dolohov when it happened. And Tonks…” Remus was still curious about whether Tonks feelings for him in the real world had been influenced by the dreams, “I married Nymphadora in the dreams. We had a son. I don’t know what happened to her during the battle.” He wondered if Severus knew. He’d been there too, but pretending to be on Voldemort’s side. He hadn’t seen him during the battle, but he knew he was there somewhere.
“And even though you’re obviously alive here, it’s bugging you.” Sirius nodded and shifted over so he could hug Remus and drag him back down to the mattress. He kissed Remus’ temple and ruffled his hair again, trying to help make him feel better. “For what it’s worth? In my dreams, I was glad you and Tonks were together. She kept you from moping too much about being a werewolf. And honestly, dream me was a complete mess of a person… even worse than I can be here. He was bitter, depressed, and borderline crazy because of Azkaban. So if you two got married and had a kid, then good on you. But it does suck that you die and don’t get to raise him. Hopefully Nymphie survived and the kid wasn’t orphaned like Harry in my dreams.”
Remus allowed Sirius to drag him back down to the mattress and wrapped his arms around him in return, “It’s not so much that it’s bugging me, but actually seeing my death. Experiencing it. I’ve seen so many other people talk about dying in their dreams and it’s not as if I didn’t think it’d hurt if something did happen to me, since these scars certainly hurt after those appeared, but...it was just one of those things that I didn’t think would happen to me. I knew things got worse before they got better in our dream world, but I thought at least one of us would live.” He turned his head against the pillows so he was looking at Sirius, “And I wonder if Nymphadora had had all her dreams before she left. If she knew this was going to happen. Not that I would have wanted her to tell me, but I wonder how she felt knowing these things.” He could call her, but he didn’t want her to worry about him. “I hope not. That would be awful.”
“If she did have all of them, she never mentioned it to me.” Sirius understood though, especially given the fact he’d died in his own dreams. “At least we both went out fighting, right? I swear if Peter is the only one of the four of us who survived, then I really am going to be pissed,” he tried to joke. He smiled and leaned in, playfully kissing the tip of Remus’ nose. “And we’d better have won. Because all of that death and fighting better not have been for nothing.”
Remus sighed and ran his fingers along Sirius’ chest, “He had better not have survived while the rest of us died.” Of course Peter had been strangled by his own hand, so neither of them had much to worry about there. He smiled as Sirius kissed his nose and he looked up at him, “Somehow I feel like we won.” He wished that there was someone around who knew for sure, but even Severus hadn’t survived the battle, so he only knew so much, “Is it strange that I’m actually sad that the dreams are over? I mean, of course I could have done without becoming a werewolf, but I was actually looking forward to them. I always wanted to know more about that world.” As dangerous as that world was.
“Maybe a little? For me they mostly sucked. I was in prison, went mad, lived on the run as a fugitive, and well… you know what they were like. I was actually pretty glad when they ended. To be honest, I was worried about what else might happen because of those damn things.” Sirius adjusted the blanket over them and smiled as he looked at Remus. “Padfoot is fun though… glad that part came through for me. But the werewolf thing? Yeah… you got screwed, Moony.”
Remus laughed and shook his head, “I certainly did.” He felt much better than when he’d first woken up and thought that perhaps he’d be able to get back to sleep now that he’d talked to Sirius, “And not in the way I prefer either.” Still smirking, Remus settled down as Sirius adjusted the blankets and closed his eyes, “But there’s plenty of time for that later.”