Tatia Mikaelson (Petrova) (ogpetrova) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-07-03 20:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | tatia petrova |
| WHO | Tatia Petrova
| WHEN | 7-3-2014
| WHERE | bathroom
| WHAT | taking a bath and thinking
| RATING | R, naked warnings
| STATUS | Complete
That shouldn’t have been the first thing that came to mind when the daylight ring was mentioned. It didn’t mean that something was just around the corner. It was something that would be needed when something did happen. It was a good thing that it came before. That way the sun wouldn’t be an issue when the time did come. When the dreams finally decide to take affect. It was just hard to think about it. It wasn’t getting a tattoo. This was dying and coming back as a vampire. It would be a lot for anyone to swallow.
Tatia groaned as she rested her head against the the ridge of the tub. She was thinking about how this would affect her. Now she was thinking about how it would affect Kol. He was the one that was going to turn into a vampire, not her. She was only going to be watching from the outside. She wasn’t the one that would actually need to drink blood to survive. Thinking about what she wrote and thought when she saw his post made her sick to her stomach. She had only been thinking if she was ready for it. Not if he was ready for it and what he thought about it. All this after what happened between the two of them. Kol stood beside her when she thought she was pregnant. He didn’t turn and run for the hills. It wasn’t like they were equal in magnitude but they were both life changing events.
It got her thinking to what this would mean for the both of them. It didn’t change her feelings for him but it changed her feelings for the future. Her forever? It wouldn’t be his forever. He wouldn’t age. As she did he would just go on un-living his life.
She closed her eyes and held back the emotions that were trying to force themselves out. She didn’t want to think about this now. She didn’t want to think about the drama that was their lives.
She focused on the warmth of the water and how the soft bubbles felt against her skin. She was focusing on getting herself to relax and not dwell on her feelings about their lives changing. She doesn’t want them to change anymore than they already had. The dreams had done enough to them without affecting who and what they are. To be honest she didn’t think, not in a million years, that being a vampire would change who Kol was.
He would always be the man that got her to move out of her apartment and in with him. The person that she opened up about Aiden to and that could see her lounging in sweatpants. He was the one that made her feel like there was nothing wrong with her. That all of her imperfects made her perfect. And to her, Kol was perfect to her. No matter what he was.
All she had to do was tell herself what she knew to be true. That she was in love with Kol and always would be. It didn’t matter if he was a vampire or not. She wanted to be with him. A little thing like a heartbeat wasn’t going to stop her.
Still with her eyes closed a smile grew on her face as she thought about it. She had been thinking about Kol being a vampire and all she could think after that thought was how much she loved him. She knew in her heart that no matter how scary it was that they would make it through it. There was no way they couldn’t, unless Kol ran away scared but she didn’t think he would. At least she hoped that he wouldn’t.
Stretching out her legs she relaxed her mind and focused on blackness. She didn’t want to think about this drama right now. She wanted to think of relaxing, even if she had to force herself.