Neena Thurman is getting too old for this shit (godplaysdice) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-07-01 11:31:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, clarice ferguson (blink), moira mactaggert, neena thurman (domino) |
"Well, that sounds bad."
Who: Domino, Blink, and Moira.
What: Neena's awake but kind of wishes she wasn't now, thanks.
When: A bit after Scott and Logan got into it.
Where: Jean Grey Outreach Center, Medical Wing.
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, with mild warnings for medical stuff. And of course cursing, since it's Neena.
Status: Complete!
The dreams had changed, at some point. Not just dreams of another life where Neena was more commonly known as ‘Domino’, but dreams of things that had happened to her in her ‘real’ life, as well. Visions of the asylum she’d spent her youth in wove themselves together with visions of a white room she’d spent time in, alone. Smells of doctors, and needles, hospitals. A ceiling she’d spent too long staring at, the screams of a newborn child.
She didn’t know what to do with any of that, only that she still felt like a prisoner of some kind. A voice ripped through her consciousness at some point, screaming at Wolverine. There was still that other world, one she needed to return to, and she felt like she was trying to climb out of a pit wet sand. She’d drag herself up, only to be pulled back down as another dream or memory took her.
But then, finally, there was light. Light, and familiar smells - not all of them good. Familiar sounds, some of which were disturbing. Her eyes shot wide open, and a whimper escaped the back of her throat. There were tubes and wires and she couldn’t move or speak. In a panic, she struggled to free herself. Escape! This place was a hospital! Hospitals were bad news!
They’d expected that. Neena was strapped down so she wouldn’t hurt herself. Clarice appeared at her side in an instant, putting her hand on the other woman’s shoulder. She’d spent as much time as she could around Neena. It was probably unhealthy, but it had been important to talk to her, and talk at her, and read to her. Just to hope she heard her voice.
She wasn’t the only one, she knew. She’d caught Booker talking to her more than once, and had accepted that. Grudgingly.
“Neena! You’re at the ranch!”
Nestled in Neena’s left arm was a little plush sheep that Logan had brought by. Before things had gone to shit, anyway. Clarice was pretty sure he’d paid a couple late night visits while she’d been asleep.
Another whimper escaped her throat, but Neena felt like her brain had frozen in place momentarily. Words came to mind, but it was hard to make her tongue speak them. She felt stiff, and in pain, and wondered suddenly how long she'd been sleeping.
Clarice's face looked like an Angel's and her voice certainly sounded like it. It calmed her down, some, and she tried to reach her hand out towards her. She was snuggling against the sheep in her other arm without even realising it.
When she'd been young, she'd had this problem. Her brain wouldn't process the ability to speak, or it had felt like her voice had been stolen away from her. But Neena wasn't a child, anymore, and she worked her jaw. Finally, she asked, "Thai food?"
“Lost.” Clarice wasn’t ready to undo Neena’s bindings just yet, but she did loosen them a little. Once she knew Neena wasn’t going to freak out about her surroundings or the tubes, then she’d release her. She put her hand on Neena’s forehead. “Booker got them back for stealing the Thaifood though. We were so worried.”
The hand felt nice and cool against her skin, and Neena felt like Clarice was radiating some kind of calming energy straight from her hand into her body. Neena closed her eyes and nuzzled her forehead against that hand like it was a life raft.
The Thai Food was lost and Booker went to get revenge? No part of that sounded good, and she wanted more details. She wasn't sure that Clarice would give them to her, though, and there were more important immediate questions.
Questions like, "So I'm probably fine, right? Let's get out of here. We can get out of here now, can't we?"
And additionally, "... where did this cuddly sheep come from?"
Neena seemed okay now, so Clarice undid the restraints completely. She wasn’t going to bring up Booker’s injury just yet - she wanted Neena to be a bit more awake and aware for that. “Moira wants to keep an eye on you I think, for a day your two. You’re still pretty weak and she took you off of your feeding tube earlier because you were showing signs you were going to wake up. Then we can go home.”
She reached over and patted the sheep. “Logan.”
It might have been too soon to remove the restraints, because Neena's first instinct was to reach for the IV in her arm, "Well, you know Logan. He's actually a complete cuddly teddy bear inside."
She might have actually tugged the IV out, but then the rest of what Clarice was saying sunk in. If that wasn't enough, she had to look down at her arm in order to remove the thing, and that's when she noticed how white her skin was.
And how dark her nails were.
"Ohgod... Feeding tube? Why did I need a feeding tube? Why would I still be weak? What the hell?"
Clarice took Neena’s hands, and kissed her fingers. “You were in a coma. It’s been over two weeks. Something...happened and they beat the shit out of you and you didn’t wake up. But it wasn’t just the beating it’s..” She looked up at Moira, helplessly.
The doctor had come in to check on her. “There’s a chip in yuir brain, lass. It seems tae be messin’ with yuir powers but I havenae found a way to remove it yet.”
If Neena hadn't already been as pale as someone can be, she would have paled at the mention of the chip. The hand not attached to a tube reached up to the back of her neck, and rubbed there. Yeah, there was that familiar buzzing. She hadn't noticed it while she was dealing with everything else.
"You can't. Not without paralyzing me." The dreams she'd had while she slept were still a bunch of jumbled images, but she recalled that much.
“There has to be something we can do,” Clarice said. There was a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, and had been ever since Moira had shown her the x-ray.
“There’s a way, I’d just have tae find it,” Moira said. “But aye, I wouldnae be able tae do it until I’ve studied it more.”
"A doctor in the dreams did, and she said there were... filaments or something that had worked their way all the way down my spine. It basically fused with me." Neena's mouth had gone dry at the thought that this was going to happen to her in her real life. It was already bad enough, how many times in both lives doctors or scientists had messed with her.
She grabbed onto the sheep that had been tucked in her arm and squeezed it, "There wasn't anything she could do, then. Not a thing."
It was turned off or not functioning in other parts of her dreams, though, and she tried to sort through everything, "I think we turned it off somehow, but it was still in there."
“Shit,” Moira said, rubbing a hand down her face. “Aye, we need tae disable it somehow, but not until I know what disabling it will do tae ye. The last thing we need is it puttin’ ye in a wheelchair or worse. Och…” She wandered off. So much to do, too much to do, why the fuck did she come back again?
Clarice licked her lips, then sat on the bed next to Neena. “Okay, so...lets….. “ She exhaled shakily.
"... have a nervous breakdown, because I think that's about where I'm at right now," Neena admitted. It was safe to admit that stuff, no one else was listening. She weakly plucked at Clarice's clothing with her fingers, realising that there were still fading bruises in places and that she didn't have the strength she'd had a few weeks ago.
Weeks.
Actual weeks, that she was in a coma. A fucking coma. Neena took a deep breath, and let it out, "I was okay. I had to learn how to fight all over again, but I did it. I ran away from everyone and got into cage matches in Madripoor, but hey. I worked it out."
“Madripoor doesn’t exist here,” Clarice pointed out. “But I’m sure we can find where Kitty’s does her street fighting.” It was an actual legitimate suggestion. She knew how important Neena’s active lifestyle was to her. She just hoped the woman would take it easy at first.
“Look at this though.” She rested her arm next to Neena’s. “We contrast more!”
"Well, that's the bright side," Neena replied, with a snort. She hadn't exactly been looking forward to this moment, even though they'd both known it was coming. The spot, especially, made her look like some goth woman with a dalmatian fetish or something.
That might actually have been something that someone had told her in the dreams, once.
"Is the... spot there? Did everything change color?" And Neena lifted up her crappy hospital gown to look down it. She looked like hell, but that was nothing new. And yup, the coloration had changed all the way everywhere, "Christ. I really hope that's not a turn off for you."
“Well I haven’t looked.” Clarice swatted at Neena, then pulled the covers down and her night gown up. She was silent for a long moment, then she bit her lower lip and chewed on it. “.....not a problem.”
"Oh good, 'cause I have to tell you, that's a pretty big deal breaker," Neena quipped. Oh yeah, she was definitely back to her old self. Beat the hell out of in a hospital while plotting her escape? Check. Joking about shit instead of taking it seriously? Check.
She waggled her eyebrows at Clarice, "Want to see how excited you can make me before Moira starts shouting at us?"
She looked at Neena, with her eyebrows raised. “You know I want that, but we’re not alone in here and I’m pretty sure you don’t want him watching. Which brings me to something I need to tell you but I wanted you coherent for it. You missed some…. real crap.”
"Aww, you all gathered around me in my time of need. That's cute, I guess..." Neena joked. Then she realised how serious Clarice was being and squinted her eyes at her woman, "Wait... why is he here? What real crap did I miss?"
“Well… Booker did some damage to Cerberus but if it wasn’t for my stellar timing you’d be awake just in time for his funeral.” Clarice didn’t hold back. She was insanely jealous over Neena’s feelings for Booker, but that wasn’t going to go away and she just had to work through it. “Then Rachel woke up clawed half to death, but the Phoenix arrived to save her. Oh, and just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, Logan and Scott tried to kill each other.”
That was stupid. All of it was. There wasn't a part of it that wasn't stupid, really, or insane or that Neena was remotely ready to deal with. She raised her eyebrows a bit, "Well, that sounds bad."
She could guess at what it was Logan and Scott tried to kill each other over, at least. And that really only made it more stupid. Really, the only good thing about any of this from where she was sitting was that the Phoenix was in Nate's sister, who had a better head on her shoulders than any other damn Summers she'd ever met.
Which was saying something, considering Rachel still had a ferocious temper to deal with, "...I'm going to go back into a coma now, wake me up when things aren't fucking insane."
“No,” Clarice said, laying down next to Neena and nuzzling her. “Because I think Kitty is going to need us since she’s gotten it in her head that neither of those two deserve to be in charge of anything.”
"If my dreams are any indication, she's probably right," Neena grumbled. She snuggled in against Clarice, and buried her face against her, "You should probably let her know I'm awake."
“Soon.” Clarice moved her arm underneath Neena and pulled her closer. She just wanted a few more minutes to just the two of them. Before Booker woke up, before anyone noticed. Clarice just wanted Neena to herself. Just for a little while. Her patience could only last so long, and required the occasional act of selfishness.
“Hey…” Neena whispered, as she nuzzled in even closer, “This is important…”
She reached an arm around to rub at Clarice’s back a bit, “I love you. I never said that to anyone in the dreams, not once, not even to my own husband. But… that was a mistake, and I’m not going to make it, here.”
Even if she couldn’t really sum up how she felt about Booker, she knew she loved Clarice. And she knew she had to say it.
The pink woman smiled against Neena’s hair. It meant a lot to hear that, enough that tears pricked at her eyes. “I never want you feeling like you’re trapped, or that you have to do something. You’re your own person. But it means a lot to hear it, especially knowing that. I love you too.”