Rachel Anne Summers is lost again (the_phoenix) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-06-30 20:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, kate freelander, rachel grey |
“Why’d you give it up?”
Who: Kate Freelander, Rachel Grey
What: Random Encounters
When: Early June, pre-Phoenix Arrival.
Where: Out Walking
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 to cover out butts, but this log is pretty tame.
Status: Complete!
The dreams were getting more common. It was like they had some kind of a schedule to keep she didn’t understand yet. They were insane. Clearly. But sometimes she thought they made sense, like they belonged.
She didn’t know if she believed in an afterlife. This place was starting to make her believe in a second life. She just wasn’t sure if this one came first or it was supposed to be the other way around.
Grabbing the leash, she led Isa out of the apartment and down to the street.
It seemed like a good day to get out and get some air, and Kate wasn't alone. Rachel didn't regret asking her girlfriend to move in with her, and her girlfriend's kids were amazing. They all got along pretty well, considering. But even as spacious as her house still was, sometimes Rachel just needed some peace and quiet.
Easier said than done when you were a telepath, really.
She decided to get herself some coffee and go for a walk. A walk far away from her house and her family. Putting some distance between them always made it easier for her to block the world out.
She turned a corner, thoughtfully contemplating all the crap that had happened to her and her friends recently, when she came upon a familiar face. At least, she thought the face was familiar. "It's you! Uhm... Ms Freelander, isn't it? You work at the center, don't you? And I swear I talked to you on the internet a few times."
Kate looked up, confusion slowly shifting into recognition as Isa pulled slightly at her leash. “Kate. And yeah, for a while now. I like it there.”
She didn’t know yet how she felt about the change in leadership, but it hadn’t been for the worse. Things would probably work out for the best in the end. In the meantime, it was nice being the good girl for a change. And she didn’t need to pretend she was what she wasn’t, which was maybe the best part of the job.
It was pretty well known that her father had been a bit of a scoundrel when he'd come to Orange County, which was always hard for Rachel to process. Scott always seemed like the upright boy scout kind of dad. But she'd like what his being in charge at the ranch had done for all of them so far, "It's a pretty cool place to work. I know Dad's happy to be fully in charge of everything. It's a dream thing, with him."
She smirked a bit, "He's kind of the leader of a whole subset of humanity over there, and I think he feels more like himself when he gets to order people around."
Noticing Isa for the first time, Rachel bent down a bit and held her hand out for the dog to sniff, "Hello there, aren't you gorgeous dog?"
Kate thought this type of work was probably easier when you came from the same place, when you’d been on the same kind of path and managed to turn it around. They seemed most drawn to it, anyway. It had made it easier for her.
“Kind of wish this place had been around when I was back in Chicago.” Maybe it would have kept her out of trouble. Maybe not. She always had been pretty set on taking the same road as her father, though she couldn’t really say why. Maybe it had been that faint hope that she might find out why he’d had to die.
Being an accepting sort, after a slightly hesitant sniff, Isa gently nudged the offered hand. Kate smiled, reaching out to pet her. “She thinks she is. She’s good company.”
Knowing that the dog was friendly now, Rachel went ahead and softly pet her hand across Isa's head and around her ears. Most dogs liked that kind of thing, and she figured she'd know if Isa didn't quickly enough.
She nodded her head as she did so, "I know there are lots of places in this country and around the world that could use the kind of help we offer. I wish there was more we could do. I spent years in other countries trying to help - building wells, or getting involved in rescue efforts, or teaching little kids how to read. I wish there was more funding for that kind of thing. It's ridiculous. We're not gaining anything as a society by leaving troubled people out in the cold."
Isa, for her part, was perfectly content with the attention this new human offered. And Kate was a little bit glad for it because there was something about a dog that made these unexpected meetings just a little less awkward.
“That’s dedication.” She’d never had that kind of dedication, herself. Not for a cause. “You like that kind of thing?”
Helping kids find a better path was one thing. Kate wasn’t sure she was well-building material. But she did like what she was doing. It made her feel like she was making a difference, like maybe she could do something better with her life. Maybe she could learn to be the type of person who helped build wells and taught little kids to read.
Rachel was more than happy to give the dog attention. There were a ton of them at the ranch, but they'd all decided the house was crazy enough with the amount of people living in it now. No personal dogs for them, not with a cat already in the picture!
She nodded her head while she continued to fluff her fingers over Isa's ears, "Oh god no, at first I was your typical teenager, all 'this sucks dad oh my god can we go home', but I wanted to help, and that was the way we were doing it. Mom... before she disappeared, was big into helping, too, and I think she would have been proud of us. We went off to do projects like that together for a while and it was a great way to spend time with him and do good things. I eventually learned to like it on my own, so... when he moved on, I actually kept it up for a little while."
“That sounds…nice.” And she actually meant it. “I’d never really done anything like this before. Nothing that wasn’t about myself or my brother.”
But the dreams had her thinking about it. Everything was still just bits and pieces, but the Sanctuary was hope and acceptance. She knew that. At first, she hadn’t understood it. But she did now.
“Why’d you give it up?” Maybe the answer was personal. She asked anyway. She wanted to know how you walked away when there was always so much more to do.
It wasn't too personal. Rachel looked up at Kate and grinned, a bit sheepishly, "I missed my father. I'm actually a lot younger than I look. Orange County recently gave me about a five year age boost. We both agreed that I needed to take a break from all of that to come back to the states and go to College. And I think he wanted to be able to keep a better eye on me."
After a pause, she smirked a bit, "Which is hysterically ironic when you realise that at the time he told me to come back, he actually had laser eyes and has to wear glasses all the time now. So he really can't keep his actual eyes on me anymore. But I'm glad that the outreach center is here. I get a chance to still help people somehow. I think... especially kids who have lived in privilege - I mean we weren't broke or anything - take life and possessions and even getting to go to a good school for granted. I don't want to start doing that."
She darted her eyes to the side and added quickly, "I'm not judging you at all when I say that. It sounds like your situation growing up was way different than mine."
It says a lot about how much things have changed since she started living here that Kate wasn’t even fazed by the casual mention of a five-year age jump. It even made sense, actually. That was just the kind of thing that happened in Orange County.
“No. It’s fine,” she answered, shaking her head, looking down as she shrugged, twisting the toe of her shoe against the sidewalk, “Chicago’s not an easy place to live, you know?”
The same could probably be said of just about anywhere, if you wandered into the bad side of town. But that was the only place she’d ever wanted to be. She wasn’t into pretending things were better than they were. There might not’ve been a lot of honesty going around in her part of town either, but at least you knew what they were lying about.
“We did okay.” There was more to the story, sure, but that was a discussion for another time and place. Like maybe the next time she got shot and didn’t have anything better to do than sit and talk about the past. She also wasn’t big on sharing personal details.
There were some personal details you just didn't share with people, even if they were people you shared a work space with. Perhaps especially because you shared a workspace with them. Rachel nodded her head and kept her telepathy to herself - even Kate's surface thoughts were like a brick wall, and it was clear the woman wanted her privacy.
"It gives you kind of an edge, though. Growing up in a place like that. You know what that was like in a way I never will, and I think it helps you relate to the kids."
Some things you didn’t share because they made you look weak or because they made you look strong or because they weren’t anyone’s business. Some things you didn’t share because they hurt and you didn’t want the reminder. For Kate, the past was a little bit of all four, but the last especially. So she buried it, tried not to think about it most days. Sometimes it even worked.
With a short laugh, she looked up again. “Not the kind of edge most people want. But yeah, it does.”
"No, I get that. I'm just... You gotta make the shit you've been through work somehow, right?" Rachel stood up, then, and dusted her fingers off. Most of the stuff she'd been through were dream things, not real things, and for that she was eternally grateful. Still, she understood about having pasts that didn't need to be spoken about in detail. She felt like the best thing to do with all of that was own it. Or at least, she liked to think she was getting there.
Kate gave that a minute, then she nodded. “Yeah. You do.”