Siri (warmingcrystal) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-06-20 11:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, obi-wan kenobi, siri tachi |
WHO: Obi-Wan and Siri
WHAT: Taking some time to discuss dreams
WHEN: Friday, June 6 (backdated)
WHERE: Siri’s Apartment
RATING/WARNING: Low/None
STATUS: Complete
Obi-Wan hadn’t been making up stories when he said that he had a busy day ahead. He was between appointments regarding his qualification to take the California Bar exam, but at least he’d received the good news that he wouldn’t be forced to take any additional classes. Reaching up to his collar, he loosened his tie and freed his neck from its strangling hold, and missed his comfortable carpenter’s uniform of paint-splattered t-shirts and shorts. He didn’t quite feel himself when he focused this much on his appearance, trying to look presentable, trying to look handsome. His beard was trimmed and his hair was styled, styled with product. He’d even borrowed some of Anakin’s cologne, a substance Obi-Wan would typically scoff at when offered to him. He hoped Siri wouldn’t laugh …although he wasn’t sure she was familiar enough with him yet to consider it funny.
In addition to all this, there were noticeable butterflies in his stomach, apparently of the enormous, tropical variety. Siri seemed reticent to share what she had dreamed of, and he had decided against asking until they met in person. He didn’t want such a conversation to take place over the internet. The issues surrounding the dreams, particularly theirs, deserved a square look in the eye. Besides, he wanted to see her again, even if he wasn’t feeling like himself today.
To be fair, Siri still wasn't entirely sure what to make of these weird dreams she kept having. The comfort that could've come from knowing that everyone else around her was having similarly weird ones wasn't much of a comfort at all; it was in Siri's nature to want to understand why, and how, and it really seemed like there were no easy answers to her questions. Still, it helped to have someone to confide in about them, someone who had had also seen the things she'd seen in her mind's eye lately. Obi-Wan had said Siri had recognized him, if only unconsciously, and she was beginning to really believe it. After all, he was consistently playing a large role in her own weird dreams. It was clear that he wasn't just a passing acquaintance within them.
Clear now, especially. Obi-Wan had been right about another thing: Siri didn't even think twice about inviting him over. She knew instinctively that it would be somehow a non-issue to have him in her home, and she was glad when he agreed. Glad, but equally as nervous in her inability to understand what was happening inside her head.
It was the shuffling noises outside of the door of her apartment that alerted her first, and she didn't bother waiting for the knock. Siri instead wrenched open the door and wryly inquired, in lieu of a traditional greeting of course, "What am I keeping you from this afternoon, a date?"
The question put a knot in Obi-Wan’s stomach, but he fought through it, busying his hands with neatly folding his tie before slipping it into the pocket of his jacket. He answered with a curt shake of his head. “No, just meetings. When you’ve gone six years without renewing your licence to practice, the Bar inevitably assumes you’ve suffered some sort of nervous breakdown, and it behoves one to put his best face forward.”
The annoyance was evident in his voice. Obi-Wan took a breath to clear his mind. He looked Siri over, but tried not to draw attention to it. She was still herself. Their first meeting hadn’t been a trick of the eyes. He swallowed. “I don’t have much time…”
Siri could be obnoxiously oblivious of other people's feelings at certain times, but she was also pretty good at reading people, and she definitely wasn't so oblivious that she didn't recognize the mild annoyance, the curt gestures, the pointed hints. She gave a curt nod of her own, stepping aside to usher Obi-Wan into her home. "Right, yeah, come in." She waited until after she'd shut the door behind the both of them before she spoke again.
"I'm glad you've decided to take the meetings, in any case." Siri knew she didn't really have any right to impose her career opinions on Obi-Wan even in the slightest - after all, how well did they really know each other? Dreams or no, they had only really met in person the one time. So she left it at that, and herded/gestured toward a modestly furnished living area space in the studio apartment. "Can I get you anything?" It was offered almost as an afterthought; Siri wasn't exactly too familiar with playing hospitable hostess, but she assumed that was probably what she was supposed to do.
And Obi-Wan assumed he ought to take her up on it. "Just some water," he said, taking a seat on one end of the couch. His eyes moved around the room, taking in the minimalism that reminded him very much of his own living arrangements. Perhaps some residual behavior from the Dream world and the Jedi. He had never questioned his inability to decorate before now.
Pleased that she had something to do to keep her from becoming too restless in the face of talking her dreams to Obi-Wan, Siri nodded again, moving across the space to her kitchenette. She had never been one for having exponential amounts of space — the studio size suited her just fine, it always had. Still, because she wasn’t necessarily leaving the room she assumed she might as well start.
“You know, I feel like we all might be better off if these crazy dreams came to us in some sort of order…” she mused aloud, pouring a couple of glasses of water from a filtered jug and carrying them over to the couch, where she offered one to Obi-Wan before perching on the opposite end. “I’ve been varying degrees of younger in mine thus far. In the latest I was…fifteen? Sixteen, maybe?” Of course that was merely a guess, based on gut feeling and, well, having already been a teenager once before.
Siri took a sip of her own water. “Does Quadrant Seven mean anything to you?”
The water had not yet made it to Obi-Wan’s mouth--in fact, it was suddenly bone dry--but he swallowed anyway. It went down like a lump, causing his throat to ache. As a result, he could not respond right away. He lifted his glass to his lips and took a much-needed drink.
“What have you dreamed about Quadrant Seven?” he asked once his voice was steady. In reality, the hesitation had only taken a few seconds, but for a man who prefered to keep (or at least appear) controlled in all circumstances, it had felt like an eternity. His thoughts had lurched forward like a horse jumping the gun. Siri could have seen more than one thing. He wasn’t one to jump to conclusions. Obi-Wan reminded himself of this.
"A lot. I think." To be sure, Siri wasn't entirely sure if she was missing any details or anything, but she assumed not -- the dreams were often very vivid and very realistic. With real emotions, which lingered on the edges of her subconscious whenever she awoke from them. Although none of it made sense, she knew by way of having interconnected dreams that they must be...supernatural. Inexplicable, but real.
"I'm beginning to retain a lot more detail, at least. I understand being trained in the Jedi Order, whatever, I understand that Adi is my master, that in these particular dreams we’re both Padawans who’ve known each other for years, that we’re regularly paired together on missions. Quests. What have you." Siri waved a hand as if there were an invisible pest flying around. "Most of the details are sticking now, is the point. I remember a lot more once I wake up. Anyway. Quadrant Seven. I dreamed of a lot of caves. With the boy. Taly, right? We were left there to protect him."
Obi-Wan’s eyes had gone somewhat blank while she spoke, losing their intensity little by little as his thoughts turned inward. Memories of the same moments, as seen from his own perspective, flooded him. Siri’s voice became little more than a hum, distorted beneath the waves. He had dreamed of the caves so long ago.
He cleared his throat. “There are times for me when the dreams...move quickly. I see so many things, but none of the details. And later the details come into focus. There are dreams I have revisited several times. But yes, I remember Taly and the mission to protect him. It was a long time ago.”
Siri nodded slowly. So this was another one of those things that were indisputably real. They had both dreamed the same dream, so it wasn't one of those things that she'd made up unconsciously. She often found it hard still, to discern between the two notions. "Obviously it wasn't the most eventful of dreams, but..."
She shook her head, as if impatient with herself. "Look, I don't want to keep you too long. It's just becoming clear to me that in this...I don't know, other life or whatever, you're pretty important to Dream Me. It was just one of those things I wanted to check in with you in person about, you know?"
"It's still really weird to think about, I guess. It's good to have someone to talk to about it, who's already been there."
Obi-Wan wrinkled his brow. He could sense her frustration, but he didn’t particularly need the Force to do that. He knew Siri too well. Not being able to solve this riddle had to be like a cheese grater against her brain. He found himself wishing he could be of more comfort to her, but unfortunately, there had never been any version of himself that was known for his hugs.
“Yes, I briefly thought I was losing my mind,” he said, smiling a bit. “But only briefly. Things will make more sense to you as it goes.” At least, he hoped so. He’d known dreamers who didn’t do as well as others. But when it came to Siri, her sanity had never been an issue. The trouble was that she was too sane.
He grew a bit more serious. “The truth is, I had been hoping you might turn up for some time. No one from that part of my past has. And you and I were very good friends. It will be good to have someone who understands certain things.”
Siri could certainly understand that. She wouldn't even know what to do if she hadn't someone to talk to about these dreams, and they had really only just begun for her. She admired Obi-Wan for having gone through it alone, and having remained collected and accepting through the process.
Instead of saying it aloud, of course, she merely gave the briefest of smiles before musing, "You know, it's kind of crazy, how it all sort of...lines up. Or like, I don't know. Funny that both 'versions' of me, if you would, follow similar structures and beliefs. Or at least what I've seen so far. It's sort of fascinating to discover."
"I've found it helpful not to think of it as two different versions," said Obi-Wan. "The division fades after a while, at least it did so for me."
He paused there, his gaze turning inward on himself, as though he had the capability to see into the mechanics of his brain. "Although..." he continued slowly, "There was a time when I fought that very notion. It seems so long ago, now. I didn't think I was up to the task of being the man I saw in the dreams."
He finished what was left of his water.
Allowing Obi-Wan the introspective moment of quiet, Siri sipped at her own water, considering his words. Not looking at it as two separate lives -- that was going to take some time. Perhaps it would become easier as more and more details of the other were revealed to her. As of right now, it was almost like watching a movie of a past life, rather than memories that actually belonged to her.
Regardless, the emotions she felt during these dreams were real, and that Siri knew was irrefutable. Despite the extraordinary circumstances they'd come from, at least she could relate to the human element of the whole thing. The feelings of elation she'd felt during her Knighting, the frustration of waiting around for something to happen in that cave. The peace and serenity during their night watch.
"Do you think you're up to it now?" she inquired, more curiosity than anything else. "I mean, have you found yourself living up to it all?"
Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow in what some called his signature fashion. His humor had always verged on being self-deprecating. “Oh, not at all,” he said. He knew Siri had to be reasonably well-acquainted with the Jedi’s pursuit of excellence. They were rigorously trained and even more rigorously kept in line. In this world, he had been forced to train himself, and there was no Qui-Gon to silence him with a look. “But I have made small improvements here and there.”
He smiled at her. There was no way to know without asking if she had seen more in her dreams than their friendship, but he was not prepared for that discussion. It was probable that it would come soon enough. Looking at her, he could not help but think of when they had confessed their feelings, but he felt like an objective third party at the moment. Faiza’s memory was still too heavy in his heart. They had wondered if a love from the past could ever interrupt them. He had the answer now. Still, having Siri close made him happy.
"Well, cheers to that. Self improvement and all! The Jedi seem pretty into that sort of thing," Siri quipped, raising her glass in a silent toast before finishing the last of the water. Thoughtfully, she gazed into the empty cup. "Isn't it bad luck to toast without alcohol?" She grinned, reaching for Obi-Wan's empty glass and springing to her feet to carry them back across to her kitchenette.
"Hope I didn't just screw up your meetings!" she trilled, wryly, as an afterthought to her previous musing. Siri glanced back over her shoulder toward the couch as she reached her short destination. It was really so like her to act first and then ask the question that should've preceded the action. "Would you like any more?"
Obi-Wan was already on his feet, fixing his tie. “Hm?” he sounded, turning back in her direction. “Oh, no. I’m fine. But I’d better be on my way.” If he hadn’t been Force-sensitive, he might have been more worried about time. As is was, he knew he could sense his way along the quickest route through the city. Even if Obi-Wan didn’t feel so connected to the Order since losing Faiza, some skills had become innate.
“We’ll use alcohol once I pass the bar exam.”