Eowyn will punch you in the throat (shieldofrohan) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-04-19 09:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !trigger warning, eomer, eowyn |
I needed you and you weren't there, just like mom and dad.
Who: Eomer and Eowyn
What: Sibling lunch date
When: Early April or late March
Where: a cafe
Status: Complete
Rating: Pg-13 for language and sister on brother punching
triggers: talking about terrorist acts and PTSD
This was probably going to be brutal, so Eomer had decided to Eowyn to a place that was known for really good steaks and beer. They were going to need both in ample quantities.
It’d been years since he’d seen his sister in person. Not for lack of wanting to. He’d been busy with the Army and she’d been busy with her own obligations during his leave times. When he’d gotten back a few years ago, he’d mostly been settling back in and finishing up his credentials. The jobs he’d worked after that had kept him pretty busy.
And maybe her anger had scared him away, too. Or his own guilt.
But all of that, Eomer was ready to put behind him. So he took a seat and grinned at Eowyn, “You wanna yell at me before or after we eat?”
Well. Eowyn never turned down good steak and only turned down beer with Eothain was being .... Eothain, so she was happy to have her brother spend money on her. Part of her was happy to see him (and why wouldn't she? He was family) and part of her wasn't so happy, because the bastard had left her.
She skipped right past yelling and right into beating his arm bruised while yelling at him. After a few minutes of that she settled down and took a seat. "Hey."
He deserved most of the bruising and yelling, and took most of it like a man. Only grunting a few times in pain and not putting up too much of a protest. There was really no defending yourself against Eowyn's onslaught when she got started. Eomer'd learned that years ago.
"You sure you're done? I've got some arm left that isn't bruised yet."
“Yes. I’m good.” She pushed her hair back over her shoulder and gave her brother a considering look. “At least you came back in one piece.” What else could she say? She felt spent, mostly from the yelling about him leaving her with Theoden. Sure, she’d volunteered….
There was volunteering and then there was feeling responsible. Knowing Eowyn, it was probably the latter. She had a way of making up her own mind about how things should be done or taken care of, and didn't trust anyone else to handle it as well. But that didn't make it any easier to handle. Eomer glanced down at his menu, trying not to look as broody as he felt.
"More or less, yeah. I knew if I let myself get shot you'd just yell at me more."
“You’d never hear the end of it. But maybe you’d have come home sooner. Then I’d have to change your diapers too.” She gave Eomer a look, flagged someone down to get her a beer, then leaned back into her chair. She blew hair out of her face, then closed her eyes. “I missed you, Eomer. I was never one to complain but now I’m...free. So I’m free to complain. It was fucking hard.”
"Let's try to avoid every kind of situation that involves you changing my diapers," Eomer joked, from behind his menu. He ordered himself a beer, too, then set the menu down on the table and folded his hands, "I can't tell you that it would've been different if I'd been home. We don't know how it woulda been. Maybe I'd have stepped up to help, maybe I would've taken over the other stuff. I know it was hard, Eowyn. I'll never get how hard, but I am sorry. Really. Just... I had to do what I had to do. They weren't gonna just let me go home."
“I’ll just make Eothain do it,” Eowyn threatened, her grin toothy and taunting. It faded quickly, though its ghost remained afterwards. “I know. I know and it fucking pisses me off. I’m mad at you but I’m also… you don’t deserve it. But you do.” She was being emotional and contradictory and it pissed her off. “I never want to be caged again…”
"God, that's worse. He wouldn't even do it. He'd just let me sit there in my own shit and then try to get me to take some hits off his bong, probably."
Eothain liked to play nurse when it came to stitching things and bandaging them, but that was about it. If you were lucky, you didn't get an infection from it and the stitches were straight enough that the scar didn't end up looking all fucked up. IF you were lucky. Eomer shuddered a bit.
"I don't deserve it. I don't. I went to serve my country, and no one can find fault with that. I signed a contract, I made a commitment. I don't deserve to get yelled at for that, Eowyn. But I can live with your anger over abandoning you in your hour of need. I don't think I deserve it, but I can live with it. We'll just have to keep you out of that cage from now on."
Just imagine Eothian wiping your ass. Eowyn did and started laughing. She coughed and cleared her throat. "Eomer, you weren't there. I needed you and you weren't there, just like mom and dad. And god only knows how close you came to joining them and never coming back!"
"I didn't even know you needed me! Hell, woman, you act all the time like you don't, then you yell at me when you finally do and I'm not there!?" Eomer yelled. He realised they were probably getting looks, and rubbed at his face with his hand, "Mom and Dad can't be here, and that's..."
He lowered his voice a bit. The fact that they weren't around wasn't their fault. And he could have joined them maybe, sure. That was true.
"'Wyn... Don't you understand? That's why I joined. I joined so that I could stop terrorism, so that other kids could grow up with parents. I wanted to protect people. I wanted to fight. It wasn't because I wanted to leave you."
As for how close he'd ever come, he looked down at his hands, "It was really close a few times, sure. But the thought of your face during that bombing. That's always enough motivation to get my ass in gear and out of danger."
"Eomer..." Eowyn sighed, and her fingers started to drum a beat into the table. "Okay it scared the shit out of me. When it went off. I was close enough that things rattled and it just brought back so many memories. Things I wanted to forget. And I hated the way that made me feel. I still hate it. I should be over that that was nearly twenty years ago!"
"It's a little easier for me. We heard those kind of things all the time over in the sand box," Eomer replied, his tone a little more gentle. He knew she hadn't been alright. Not on a relative scale for her, anyway. But like so many things with them, pride tended to get in the way first. He was glad she was willing to swallow some of hers, "I used to get jumpy. Pull my service weapon, or duck for cover. Nothing they'd order a psyche eval for, but still. 'Wyn, you don't get over that. You just get to a point where you manage your reaction to it. You're still going to react, and there's nothing wrong with that."
After a pause, he added, "I never meant to scare you by enlisting. I didn't realise that was something you were worried about."
“Just don’t tell anyone. Especially not my friends.” It was odd. That she considered them friends. Even the bombastic Boromir, but especially Thor and Faramir. “So it’s not bad that I’m still on edge? Last paintball match was a little hard. And of course I’d worry!” She reached over to smack him.
"Hell no." Eomer raised one of his hands up and shook his head, grinning and laughing a bit, "I know better than to get on your bad side again already. But I still think you need more girls on that team. If they spend more time lookin' at your behind than they do paying attention to smiting the enemy, I'm going to smack them. Or just let you know so that you can smack them."
The waitress brought over some cold beers and took their orders. Eomer's was pretty straightforward and mostly revolved around steak and french fries.
Eowyn rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure one is gay and the other one is an ass and we hate each other. Thor on the other hand." Mmm. "Now that's a man with muscle. He really is a god."
Wyn's meal was about the same, only with a baked potato. Because fries are for sissies.
Fries might have been for sissies, but they were also easier to eat one-handed. Usually while the other hand was driving, drinking a beer, or desperately calling for backup over a radio. Eomer ordered some barbecue sauce for dipping on the side, and a pitcher of beer to go with it all, too.
Then he shook his head a bit, and decided to sidestep the entire Thor conversation by going back to something she'd said previously, "But it's completely normal to still be on edge. I get a little jumpy myself when I hear guns going off in the distance, or things that sound like guns. And I've been back in the states for a while now. When I was over there, I had to control my reactions to the sounds, too. Every mortar that went off sounded like that bomb all over again."
Okay respect++ for eating fries in a combat zone.
Eowyn shivered at that. Just thinking about the bomb (either of them) made her teeth go on edge. She’d put on a brave face for other people, but for Eomer (and only Eomer) she could let some of her nerves show. “I haven’t slept well since.”
This was the Eowyn that only he really got to see, and since she was opening up, he thought maybe it was safe to reach out to her a little bit. Maybe. Hopefully she wouldn't bite his hand off.
"Would you sleep better if I stayed the night for a little while? Just on your couch or whatever."
“Yes.” She didn’t even hesitate. “Just..for a few nights and don’t you fucking dare tell Eothain!”
"I wouldn't dare tell a living soul, especially not Eothain!" Eomer replied, holding both of his hands up in the international surrender gesture, "You don't even have to tell me that. I know better."
“I would kill you so dead.” That was all she needed to say, because then it was steak and potato time, and her eyes lit up like search lights. “God, I had no idea I was this hungry.”
Steak and potato time was the time for eating in silence, as long as you weren't eating with Eothain. Then it was the time to guard your meal like a hawk and pray that the Eothain didn't somehow get you kicked out before you were done eating.
The food looked delicious, and Eomer's stomach grumbled. He grinned at Eowyn and toasted her with his beer, "Eat up, then. We can catch up on all the mundane stuff later."