InsaneJournal

Who: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood & Jace Lightwood
What: Talking About Alec Followed By Talking to Alec
When: Backdated: Monday, March 3rd. Evening
Where: Lightwoods' Apartment
Rating: Mostly Family Friendly
Status: Complete

Magnus didn’t know what to do about Alec. He knew that Alec was upset and felt like everyone had abandoned him and put themselves in danger and Magnus could understand that, but Alec couldn’t seem to let it go and understand why Izzy and Jace had needed to go out and help protect people or why Magnus had needed to take Frodo and Sam to the volcano and it was going to take a toll on Alec’s relationships if he continued to condemn Magnus, Izzy and Jace.

It was these reason why Magnus was standing on the Lightwoods’ kitchen with Izzy and Jace, trying to figure out what they could do about Alec’s behavior at the moment, “We need to do something. I just don’t know what.”

“Well that makes two of us” Izzy said somewhat sadly, “I have no idea what to do either” And it hurt to say that as well. Alec had never been this angry with her before and Izzy decidedly didn’t like it. She loved her brother too much to let him continue pulling away like he was.

Jace stood sipping a cup of coffee. He always had a hard time keeping still, and this was a conversation that was needed, although he wasn’t particularly happy about it. He was angry at Alec, but he was also disappointed. In the dreams, they were best friends, and he could see that happening, but Alec didn’t seem to shove it away as hard as he could. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” He looked down, as it wasn’t entirely true. “I think he feels left out.” He blamed himself for that, not really sure if the others did too. He had spent more time with Izzy, and Alec didn’t seem to want to join in, or maybe they didn’t invite him enough. There were a few theories running through his head, partly dream based. He wanted to see what the others thought first.

“I can understand that, but from what you’ve said, you asked him to go with you and he refused.” Magnus may have only dreamt about the Lightwoods and Clary at his party, but even then he’d gotten the feeling that the three of them were always together when they went out and that Alec was the more levelheaded and cautious of the three. “I understand why he’s mad at me, but he shouldn’t be mad at the two of you, because he chose not to go out with you two and instead go on his own.”

“I said I wouldn’t go though” Izzy said, her voice softer than usual. “I told him I wouldn’t go but then I did” And yes if she hadn’t Jace would have been on his own out there but Alec had ended up on his own too. It was all pretty messy. “Though I think even that doesn’t excuse him heading out alone. If he’d been seriously hurt...” well it didn’t really bear thinking about.

Jace’s head was down, looking at the glass in his hand. “No,” he said. “We didn’t ask him first, and we haven’t been.” He felt bad about that, had always felt like there was a missing piece in the group. “Alec was behind in the dreams, so Izzy and I decided to start working out and trying some of this new stuff we were seeing, and Alec wasn’t joining then, so it’s been the two of us. He and I are supposed to be parabati, but lately it’s been you and I, and I think he’s felt left out for awhile.” Jace’s list was even longer. He should have seen this coming and he was beating himself up over it, but he also wasn’t sure what to do.

Magnus could understand that and nodded, "I can't help but wonder if he's afraid of the dreams. Afraid that everything in them will happen here." After all, Magnus had been a regular guy up until a few months ago and now he was a Warlock. One of Alec's first dreams had been them breaking up and he knew that Alec was afraid of that happening.

Nodding Izzy sighed, “I wish he’d just talk to us, tell us what’s wrong. I hate all this guess work. He’s so angry with us, maybe with the dreams too, but if he won’t talk to us how are we supposed to understand and help” she was upset and frustrated.

Jace shrugged, allowing that possibility. He actually liked that idea better than the one he had, so maybe if he approached it that way, it would work better. “You could be right,” he said. “I don’t know if that explains why he went out alone.” Then again maybe it did. In the dreams, Jace was the leader, or sorts. Alec might have wanted to prove himself by going alone. His lips pursed, keeping that thought to himself. “I think he and I should train together.”

Alec had tried his best to be gone from the apartment as much as he could. If he couldn’t manage it, then he would just stay in his room with the door locked. He only ever needed to leave his room for food and he’d taken to eating at odd hours so he wouldn’t have to run into Izzy or Jace.

As Alec entered the apartment, he was thumbing through the mail that he’d gotten from their mailbox. In it, he found what he’d been expecting and was trying to hide from the others. A bill from the hospital, so he set the other things on the small table near the door and began to shove his bill into his hoodie pocket. He was going to grab a water from the fridge and stopped in his tracks as he saw everyone in the kitchen. He furrowed his brow and glanced at everyone before shrugging and going to the fridge. He didn’t know what was going on, but he wasn’t going to hang around.

“That would probably be a good idea,” Magnus nodded in response to Jace’s suggestion, “There is definitely a reason he doesn’t talk about the dreams, but I think suggesting that you train together might be a good idea.” He glanced at Izzy then and nodded, “I wish he’d talk about them too. Considering the three of you have the same ones, it’s not as if you won’t all know the same things eventually.

Hearing the front door, Magnus knew it was Alec and glanced briefly at Jace and Izzy just before Alec stepped into the kitchen. “Ignoring us, are you? Or have you just forgotten how to say, hello?” He could already tell that Alec didn’t seem happy to see the three of them together, but he wasn’t about to let him just ignore them.

Izzy was glad Magnus had said something before she had since it probably would have sounded much more indignant had she been left to. She did, however, move herself so that she was blocking the way out of the kitchen, just in case he decided to even ignore his boyfriends pointed comment.

Jace wasn’t really sure what to do yet. The talk he needed to have with Alec was between the two of them alone. He had meant what he said completely but there was more to it than that. They were the parabatai, closer than brothers, and they really hadn’t come close. They had a lot of work to do. “Why don’t you come and have a drink with us? We were all just talking. You should be here.” He looked up at his cousin, trying to keep the stress off his face the best he could.

Alec wasn’t in the mood for this kind of thing. It felt like an ambush and the way that Izzy blocked his way out didn’t help matter. “I’m definitely ignoring all of you,” he said in response to Magnus’ inquiries. He took a couple steps towards Izzy, eyes narrowing. “I can see that this is just a pleasant conversation...why would I think it’s anything else?” He’d been replying to Jace but his eyes had never left his sister, he hand tightening on his water bottle.

Magnus sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, "Alexander, will you stop being so damn stubborn and sit down and talk to us!" Magnus didn't get angry often; he really didn't, but This situation with Alec was getting on his last nerve. He understood that Alec was upset at them, but as far as Magnus was concerned, this had gone on long enough.

Even Izzy was somewhat surprised by Magnus, she only hoped Alec would listen. She returned her brothers gaze steadily, her own hands were crossed in front of her and she simply raised her eyebrow. He’d either stay and listen or try to get past her. Either way she was prepared for it.

Jace felt as uncomfortable as Alec honestly. He really didn’t enjoy confrontation, and he didn’t enjoy his cousin looking like someone kicked his dog, especially when that person was him. He definitely took this more personally than he let on. He also knew there was something else. Jace and Izzy doing their own thing was a matter that should have been over in a few days. There was more to this story, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “If you walk out the door, I’m following you,” he told his cousin, not leaving his spot.

Alec wasn’t surprised by Magnus raising his voice. He knew that someone was bound to do it. “Right...cause why wouldn’t why I want to be in a room where everyone is mad at me and practically has me trapped here? I have nothing to say…” He glanced at Izzy, “Do you mind? I have things to do…”

This was going to go nowhere if Magnus didn't try another approach. Crossing the kitchen, he placed a hand, lightly, so Alec wouldn't feel like he was trying to make him stay, on his shoulder, "Alexander, no one is mad at you. We only want to talk to you, because we're worried about you."

“How could we not be worried about you with the way you’ve been behaving lately?” Izzy added, “You’re pushing us all away and it’s not fair Alec.”

Jace could be just as stubborn as his cousin. Sometimes he was even worse. He was impulsive and reckless, but that had always been his nature. “I know why you are pissed off at me,” he said. It wasn’t confirmed, but he could give it a good guess. “There is something else going on though - obviously. People are going to keep asking, and they aren’t going away, so you can tell us it’s not anything and we aren’t going to believe you.” He shrugged his shoulders and took a drink of his water, feeling a little guilty.

“Then, be worried. Now, you know how I felt after you left on some mission that may, or may not, have stopped the volcano…” Alec began, looking at Magnus. “And you two for just up and leaving to fight things. But don’t get mad at me when I choose to do things when you all practically did the same thing. Isn’t that what we do? Go out and fight...so what if I didn’t go with the supposed team we have. You guys didn’t take the time to get me...so my presence shouldn’t have mattered to you.” That had been directed to his family, for the most part. “But at least you all got what you wanted…” Alec tossed the letter/bill from the hospital. “See! I did almost die. Lesson learned, right? We may be a team in our dreams, but here, we’re just people who’d rather just look out for themselves. Except when I dream about something bad...then you all just tell me that it’s nothing. However, when it’s something that’s deemed cool or good I am supposed to believe it. It’s a bit dumb if you ask me; but this is the part where you all just expect me to believe that we all can just somehow have the skills needed when dealing with shit that we have no idea about. We don’t even practice together...or if you do, I’m being left out. So excuse my reluctance to even want to go out and fight with you guys when all I’m supposed to put my faith in is a dream.” Alec was scowling now and he wanted to leave the room. He’d never been the kind to face his issues, due to having to hide things from his parents/family for so long. “So, yes...I am mad….pissed...upset...whatever you want to call it but I think I have a right to be when everyone abandons me.”

Magnus had been about to respond to Alec’s outburst when he spotted the logo on the envelope that Alec had put down on the table. Reaching for it, he pulled the contents out, yellow cat eyes widening slightly. “You got hurt?!” It explained where Alec had been while Magnus had been regaining his energy at their apartment and one reason he’d been acting so off, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He handed the bill over to Izzy, because he was sure that she would want to see it, “Listen, you do have a right to be upset, but how long do you intend to hold it against us?”

Izzy took the bill and paled as she read it, she blinked repeatedly to stop the tears from falling. She would not cry. Instead she flung herself at Alec, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tightly, “I’m so sorry Alec” she whispered, “I love you even if you hate me” All Izzy could think about was Alec being hurt and thinking his family didn’t love him and it almost broke her heart.

When Izzy went to hug Alec, Jace took the bill from her hand. He looked at it silently, lips pursed the entire time. He had learned a long time ago to keep his emotions locked down. He was checking them carefully. “He doesn’t hate you,” he told Izzy. In this whole incident, Jace blamed himself the most. He was the dream leader, of sorts. He should have been insisting that Alec join them the whole time, even if his dreams were a little behind the others. They should have been training to be the Parabati they were. His cousin could be difficult and stubborn, and assuming that he would just naturally join them had been stupid. “I know what I did, and I’m sorry. We’ll do it right this time.” Of course he wasn’t saying much, but he knew this needed to be a private conversation once all this was said and done.

Alec couldn’t exactly stay angry, not when Izzy was hugging him and he could sense that she was really upset. He hated that he was the cause of this. His shoulders slumped, defeated. “I don’t hate you, Izzy,” he said softly, putting his arms around her finally. He held onto her for a bit, hopefully reassuring her, before he slowly let her go and pulled away.

“I didn’t tell anyone, so don’t take it personally. It was my thing to deal with, cause it was my own fault,” Alec said with a shrug. “Not to mention that I didn’t want to give people anymore reason to be upset with me.”

“Alexander, if you’d told me you’d gotten hurt, I wouldn’t have been upset. I would have been concerned.” He approached his boyfriend after he’d moved away from his sister and placed a hand against Alec’s cheek, “You’re not alone in any of this. Not real life and not the dreams.” His thumb stroked over Alec’s cheekbone lightly as he gazed down at him.

“We all would have been concerned” Izzy said, feeling somewhat better once her brother had returned her hug. There had been mistakes all round but she hoped this would be their turning point and they could all begin to communicate more. She watched Magnus and Alec and felt so happy that her brother had found someone who looked at him the way Magnus was looking at him right now.

There was a lot Jace wanted to say, and he could feel himself ready to explode. Everyone was saying it was okay, being gentle. He just looked at Alec with flat, blue eyes. Yes, I am angry, and yes, it is your own fault. You were stupid. You were a complete jerk to all of us, and then you went and did this. “I’m glad you are okay.” His lips turned up only a little bit, but there was no mistaking the look at all. “This is a big clue that you need to train with us.”

Jace’s words made him furrow his brow and the look that his cousin was giving him didn’t make him happier. However, Alec wasn’t exactly in the mood to make things worse. “Fine...just give me a little more time to myself. I just need to calm myself...okay?” he said. He did need to come to terms with everything and being on his own for at least the rest of the day would be helpful to his inner ‘turmoil.’

Magnus nodded then glanced at Jace briefly before bringing his attention back to Alec. He knew that there was probably more that Jace wanted to say, but he wasn't going to make anyone say anything they didn't want to now; this hadn't started out as an intervention after all. "Alright. You know where I am, if you want to talk." He figured it was probably time for him to get going. He didn't want to smother Alec after all.

“Me too. I’m always here when or if you want to talk to me” Izzy said, with a smile for her brother. Alec would probably need to talk to all of them individually at some point but she felt somewhat happier knowing that he was at least willing to soon.

Jace wasn’t going to be appeased that easily now that he had let his anger grow. “Right, because time to yourself is what got you into this mess, and I’m not pretending this shit is okay, cause it isn’t.” He knew he needed to check himself, but how were they ever going to get to anything if everyone just petted his cousin and told him it was okay. “How are you going to ask us to stay in when we have actually trained and have sense enough to stay together? You went out there alone, landed in the hospital and want more time alone. If you want to do this, you need training, which you obviously don’t have. You may have dreams of being my second, but you are not the same person you are in dreams. You actually have to work at that.” He looked at Izzy, and Magnus before his eyes went back to his cousin. “Now I’m done.”

Any sort of calm that Alec had been feeling was erased the moment that Jace spoke. “Magnus...Izzy...I’m sorry. Jace...fuck you.” And with that, Alec departed from the room but rather than go to the safety confines of his room, he grabbed his keys and left the apartment altogether.