I can bend fire.
Who: Azula (narrative) What: Azula tries to write down her dreams and sort of loses it When: Last night Where: Her condo Status: Complete Rating: Pg-13 for nervous breakdowns
Azula sat in bed. She had a notepad open in her lap, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She felt like she was losing her mind. She looked down at what she had written.
I can bend fire.
Without even a thought, with instinct and action she could create and manipulate a blue flame. This made her special. Unique. Something amazing. The blue flame was hers.
Lightning shoots from my fingertips.
A rare ability, she knew. It required concentration, thought and setup. It required clearing her mind to be most effective. That wouldn't do right now. She was too..distraught.
I am a princess. Zuko was banished and I became the heir.
That made sense. Of course it was. Of course Zuko would be a coward and wet his pants when faced with their father. Of course Zuko would be the one to get into that position. Never Azula. Never perfect Azula. Her fingers tightened around her pen.
I would do anything to get Ty Lee and Mai on my side. Even intimidation.
They meant everything to her, but she couldn't write that down. How could she? She'd barely admitted it inside her head, let alone enough to put it on paper. Her hand actually trembled as she realized that. She steadied herself.
I conquered the Earth Kingdom.
Pride. Sheer, unadulturated pride. There had been a setback. This Avatar they'd been chasing had destroyed the drill, but then her plan had been brilliant. She could remember the thrill of capturing the capitol, the battle with Katara and Aang. Her brother had joined her. She didn't remember what she had said or done, but she'd been genuinely happy to see him. And then the coup de gras; a lightning strike to Aang as he ascended in the Avatar state.
Her body quivered at the memory, and she groaned, adding;
I wounded the Avatar.
He should have died, but somehow he hadn't, no matter. She'd told their father it had been Zuko. Keep an ally, give herself an out, just in case.
The next thing she wrote, she scratched out, her breath catching in her throat.
I wanted Ty Lee to be mine the first time I saw her
That dream hadn't been welcome. It mirrored her waking life too closely. Closely enough that she had been forced to reflect on both first meetings, and how she'd felt. The cracks in the shell around her heart kept widening.
I was jailed. Forgotten.
Tears marred the paper, but she was compelled to press on. Stopping now would only prove she was weak.
I was jailed. Forgotten, until they finally came to me. They pitied me. Ty Lee made me realize
"I know that all your life has been pain," Azula whispered, the taste of Ty Lee's lips suddenly fresh on her own, and tears trailing down her face. The hurting in her chest was so unbearable that she crumbled up the paper, flame engulfing it as she screamed in pain and hate. None of this could be real. Not this world, not her feelings and not the way the world had left her.
The blue flame remained, dancing in her hand. She spunt it around her fingers, before catching it between then. She snuffed it out.
Leaping off the bed, Azula ran out onto the patio, robe flowing behind her. One breath, two, three she went through the motions. The Chi flowed through her and electricity crackled in the air. She held her fingers out, fore and middle finger of her right hand. The power centered, focused, and passed through her. No bolt came. The charge in the air dissipated and she slammed her palms into the railing and screamed. Her hair came loose as fire shot from her belly and out her mouth and nose, but that too faded.
She slid to her knees and hugged the bars in front of her. She held her hands in front of her, and conjured the smallest of blue flame. She cradeled it, and wept.