Clarice texted Neena, wanting to make sure that Rose wasn’t bumming on the couch again. Neena was paranoid about them meeting, which was both adorable and a little frustrating. Clarice had never really been in the closet. Even before she’d met...well the girl who changed everything for her, she’d been openly bi to her parents.
Generally speaking, Neena was a light sleeper during crisis situations. She considered the current one - even though nothing was happening out in the open yet - to be a crisis, but this morning she was sleeping like the dead.
Her phone beeped several times, alerting her to the incoming text message, but it still took her nearly thirty seconds to register that the outside world existed. Her arm reached out towards her nightstand then, flailing around a bit and knocking an empty Jack Daniels bottle over onto the floor before it found the target it was seeking. She gazed at it with bleary eyes.
"Fuck... how is it 10am already..." She mumbled, while tapping out a quick reply. No, Rose wasn't there. It was all clear. No making fun of sheepie pajamas.
Clarice blinked into the bedroom. “Sheepie pajamas?” Oh they’re adorable. She fought back a grin, and lost, before sitting on the bed. “I wanted to know if you wanted to get lunch, but you look like the dead. Is everything okay?” She reached over to brush some hair out of Neena’s face.
The sheepie pajamas were joined by a cream colored, lacy tank top with thin straps. It was more feminine than Neena usually went for, but it was soft and comfortable. Neena made a grumpy sounding noise at Clarice, and dropped her phone back on her nightstand.
"I've had better years," she finally replied, after flopping backwards on the bed. She didn't even know where to begin to describe the bad to Clarice. Between Booker and her argument with Rose? “I need to go on a liquor run. I think I need to buy an entire store.”
It took a great deal of willpower not to snuggle in with Neena, especially in that top. Willpower she didn’t have, so she scooted onto the bed and pulled Neena against her. “That bad? Is it stuff with Hanna, or Booker?”
"It's stuff with everything," Neena admitted, with a groan. It was just as hard for her to restrain herself from cuddling up with Clarice. Even though she wanted to push the other woman away for her own good. She let out a sigh, and snuggled in a bit, then squeezed her eyes shut.
"Still working on the Hanna plan, Booker is nosebleeding all over the place with dream stuff that makes mine look tame, and... I made Rose go. It wasn't the most fun chat I ever had."
Clarice stubbornly held Neena against herself, pulling the woman’s head against her chest. She was conscious of the fact that if Neena was pushing people away, she was next. She wouldn’t be so easily sent away.
“She’s not happy about that, is she. And don’t even start with me, I’m not going anywhere.”
"Maybe you should. All of you." Neena replied, frowning a bit, "Booker was thinking of going back to New York, and I think he should. I think you all need to stay the hell away from me and Hanna until we can get clear of this. Someone's going to get hurt. I don't even know how to handle that kind of crap anymore, it claws up my insides just thinking about it."
After a pause, she added, "But no, she's not happy about it. She wanted to stay and fight, too. We even had code names. I just can't risk it."
“I love you, Neena. But that’s not the only reason I’m going to stay.” Clarice was breaking their silent covenant to keep the three words to certain situations, of which this wasn’t. “I’m not going to be chased away from my home again. From my friends and family. I’m making my choice as much for myself as it is to support you. I stand and fight, because that’s who I am.”
This was definitely not the certain situation that they were allowed to say words like that, and Neena struggled in silence for a few moments, trying to wrap her head around it. Not just that Clarice had said the words, but that she knew she was probably supposed to say them back. Saying something stupid like 'ditto' or 'yeah me too' or 'those words back at you' just sounded awkward and ridiculous. But she'd never been able to say them, not in either place, not even when she'd needed to.
Her throat worked a bit, and she tried to pull away from Clarice, though the effort was mostly in vain. The pink woman, while slight in frame, was definitely strong, and she was holding onto Neena too tightly for her to remove herself.
She sucked her lower lip up into her mouth and bit on it, hard, then finally whispered out, "I love... You too... but... what if something happens to you?"
Clarice hadn’t entirely expected Neena to say them back, and they made her eyes immediately water. But she knew better than to make a show of it. Instead she nuzzled her face into Neena’s hair. “That’s a risk no matter what. Living in this county is a bit like having a target on the roof. All I can do is be careful and only risk myself when I have to. I’m more likely to get blown up by aliens than shot by Cerberus at this point. I know that doesn’t make much of a difference, but ...yeah.”
"God, that's true, isn't it." Neena took a deep breath, and let it out. She was glad that Clarice wasn't making a big deal out of it. It was hard enough to say it, but if Clarice had made a deal out of it, she might never have had the courage to say it again.
"Maybe we should all move away."
“I wish we could, but how many times have one of us tried only to come back?” Probably more than Neena realized, so Clarice clarified. “Quite a bit. Anyway.” She shifted a bit and stroked her lover’s hair. “So we take precautions, but we don’t let them win. We do everything we can to keep them from winning.”
"Cerberus is everywhere anyway. If they've been tracking us, they'll just track us wherever we go," Neena sighed a bit. She sounded tired, and she definitely felt as tired as she sounded. But what Clarice was doing to her hair made her purr a bit, and she nuzzled her head against her lover's hand.
"I don't want them to win, either."
“Do you have anything planned today?” Clarice asked, turning the stroking into a scalp massage. “Maybe we should tune the world out for a few hours. Watch Netflix. I’ll even go get real popcorn.”
"Oh you know, the usual. Clean all the guns, do more plotting, sit around waiting for the rest of my plan to fall into place. Get roaring drunk." Neena wrinkled her nose a bit, then let out a groan as Clarice's fingers rubbed across her scalp, "God that feels amazing. Your fingers are magic."
It wasn't a bad idea, but Neena shook her head. She thought maybe she had a better one, "I'm letting myself become a shut-in. That has to stop. Rose isn't around to make me go out anymore. Let's go for a drive. Maybe... down to the beach, or something. Get a picnic basket, or eat somewhere outdoors, or... I need to get away from here."
That perked Clarice up a bit. She nodded her head. “Okay. We’ll hit the beach. Maybe I’ll even dig out a skimpy swimsuit, if you want me to.” She sat up, realizing it was up to her to keep Neena from shutting herself in. She could do that.
It was up to Neena to keep Neena from shutting herself in, and she knew that. Rose was away now and Booker gave no fucks, and it was possible that the only person left who cared if anything happened to her was Clarice. But Neena felt like everything Rose had tried to do for her would be in vain if she didn't give herself a kick in the ass, too.
She looked up and smooched the top of Clarice's hand, then dragged herself out of bed. One of her hands collected various empty bottles while the other hand took the gun out from under her pillow and stowed it in its locked sidearm enclosure on her nightstand.
"I'll even go unarmed. You'll just have to protect me, lady."
Neena glanced over her shoulder at Clarice and winked at her, "Think you can handle that? I might even put on a swimsuit if we can find a creative way to hide the bullet hole. Dashing scarf or something, maybe.
Clarice actually blushed at that, and ducked her head while Neena got ready. She bit her tongue before she could say she loved her. Those words were special. They had weight. They weren’t to be said frivolously. But they were to be said, and if nothing else, Clarice knew Neena had taken a huge step for herself.
“I’ll take us to a private beach,” Clarice promised. That swimsuit likely wouldn’t stay on for long.