Ichimaru Gin is a fox-faced bastard (fox_face) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-03-21 01:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, gin ichimaru, rangiku matsumoto |
Who: Gin Ichimaru, Rangiku Matsumoto
What: In which Rangiku realizes Gin kicked ye olde bucket and they has a tussle, followed by a ghost critter going grawrr, followed by going the hell home for making up times.
When: Uhhhh? Written in January. Gonna set it in February. This too is a backlog.
Where: Somewhere in da O.C.
Rating: Medium-ish.
Rangiku woke up rather rudely. The scream on her lips echoing in their room as she woke up. Fingers clenched in the sheets, tears free flowing down her face. The OC was mean. She'd dreamt of losing Gin. Of finding him dying on her. Tears stung her eyes. He'd lost and she'd lost him.
Of course he'd snuck out the night she'd dream of him dying on her. She stumbled out of bed, balance a little off as the feelings of grief and horror cling to her. Rangiku changed into something easy to move in, hoping he'd come back before she got done getting ready
She tucked her phone in her bra and grabbed Haineko off her new rack. She's might not know how to use any of her skills too well yet but even she understood the sharp end goes in to.soft flesh.
She was glad she sure a big dinner.She deactivated the alarm and slipped outside. She turned the alarm back on before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Then blue eyes opened and she took off, landing neatly on the garden wall. She had no idea how to track someone but she was going to try and focus all the energy she had to find him.
Gin had been counting on Rangiku continuing to sleep well after all of her practice lately. That was why he felt more confident than ever before with slipping out to see if there were any loose ends on his running tally that needed erased, or any hollows around that needed wiped out. Wherever people died? There were ghosts, and ghosts could always turn into a hollow. They usually fed on other ghosts first, that needed taken care of by a Shinigami, and then would attack humans as well if they became stronger and more erratic. Gin had been hunting a weak one, in particular. But without other Shinigami on the lookout and everyone calling in miniscule readings or sightings using some of the locators from the SRDI, it could get sketchy. It was taking longer, even for him, to get a good fix on which direction it was in, other than a certain area. No leads for him, either. He had to keep gridding the area out and moving, to get a reading on where it might be, the closer he got to it. It was further complicated by the fact he kept coming across the dead, some of which needed to be sent onward. Such was the case, tonight.
The problem with finding him was that he kept his spiritual pressure so tightly reined in, that it was difficult to even get an idea of how he might fight or when he might strike. That was bad luck for Rangiku. She didn't have Aizen's super massive spiritual pressure around, which was probably handy in locating them before. Gin's current bad luck was that he was confronted with a dead teenager, that just would not leave a street corner where he imagined she had been hit by a car or killed.
"I want to go home," the girl told him, arms folded defensively over herself. She was wary of everyone and everything, and had been literally stuck in the place where it happened, not sure what was going on. "You're creepy. Are you a total lecher or what? Stop smiling at me."
"Well if ya hold still, I can send ya somewhere else, and ya won't have me smilin' at you. Trust me, I ain't interested in ya like that." He was trying to help. Sometimes, spirits made it kind of tedious. "What I do is I take my zanpakuto here and I tap ya on the forehead there and off ya go. Simple. Easy. No fuss. An' domo arigato for reminding me why I don't wanna have kids. You teenagers’re a pain in the ass."
The girl looked offended, her jaw dropped wiiiide open. That was just enough time for Gin to grin and tap the not-dangerous end of his zanpakuto against her forehead. She turned to a ball of white light that rose slowly as Gin waved up at her and said “bye~bye”, until finally, the orb grew smaller and smaller, and rose higher and higher, until it was gone.
If Rangiku needed a beacon for location? Gin inadvertently gave her one. Any Shinigami worth their salt could have seen that, if they were in the area.
Rangiku had had no luck.She’d had the foresight to snag a package of pop tarts (damn you Gin for this addiction) before she’d run out. And she was burning herself into exhaustion. Or would if she didn’t find him soon. She’d been criss-crossing the city like a crazy person. The feels had wrecked her and she was having a hard time focusing on finding him, anyways. She didn’t expect finding him to be easy. But she’d told him she was stubborn enough to look at him until she couldn’t anymore. Today? She was out to prove it.
Between trying to bottle up her own spiritual pressure (she didn’t want anyone knowing she was coming, or causing issues with people as a whole), and fast stepping her way across the city, she was a physical wreck as much as she was a mental one. She’d stopped for a break, at the top of a building, legs tucked tight against her. Haineko clutched tightly in her fingers, she’d spent the last few weeks learning, and she rarely went anywhere on her own with Her with her.
Rangiku might not be worth her salt yet, but she was getting there and she’d seen that and practically fell off the roof in her rush to get going. She stuffed a pop tart in her mouth as she took that first leap and prayed she wasn’t too tired. Thankfully her emotions were enough to keep her going.
She felt like she’d been outside for hours, her eyes were red rimmed, tears dried to her cheeks. Her long hair was a wind-swept tangle, the longer strands being tossed in the wind behind her. She moved as quickly as she could manage, she was frustrated. The one dream she wished so hard he was there for he wasn’t. And she knew it wasn’t his fault. He had no idea when and what she’d dream next. He had no clue she was tracking him, he had no clue she’d dreamt again.
He’d have a clue though when she practically crashed into him, hitting the ground harder than she planned and tumbling herself into the sidewalk. Rangiku landed on her hands and knees, head down, hair falling all over the place. “Gin” she managed after a minute, that short named whispered with a world of pain and hurt in it, before whipping herself up off the ground and grabbing him, clinging to him, as if desperately trying to remind herself he was here. Still here. Not gone gone gone like in her dreams. Her knees stung, her hands ached, she was bone weary but she’d have pushed herself until she collapsed tonight had she had to. Her mind was racing, she felt the pain of loss as keenly as if she lost him here. Her body trembled and shook, her very heart ached.
Someone's eyes went wide open at that entrance. Gin's first thought when he nearly was plowed into, was that something was wrong at home. His usual smile left his face in an instant and he opened his mouth to ask. Rangiku didn't give him a chance, before he was grabbed and held onto. That was when he had an educated guess what it might be and he felt like his gut was twisted into knots, since he was unsure what she would do or say.
No use delaying the inevitable. Gin closed his eyes and put both arms around her.
"Ahh, Rangiku," he softly whispered, trying to sound as soothing as possible and not wanting to jump to any conclusions. "Must be somethin' real bad if you're shakin' like a leaf. You wanna talk about it here, at home, or somewhere else?"
He would have an easier time getting her to a hillside by the ocean or near some of the canyons. It was easy to tell that she was rattled and pushing herself too much already.
She melted into his arms, clinging tightly. She didn't want to let him go.not right now. Not when she feltlike she did at this very moment. She felt destroyed. And it hurt bad to think of the memory.
,"not here. Not home either." She managed before trembling some more. Girl found him at least. Gold star woman Gold star. She finally loosened her grip on him letting him just hold her without her crushing grip.
She'd start to cry in a minute. But for now she was just shaking. She was pushing herself pretty hard. Had pushed herself hard.
Whereas she loosened her grip, he tightened his, one arm finding it's way down around her waist. He all but picked her up, taking a few steps and a slight crouch before he was carrying her up to a nearby rooftop, and using that as a means to send them flying at high speed. Sure, her hair was whipping him in the face, but he didn't even register it as an issue. He squinted his eyes up enough that he wasn't getting windblasted or hair whipped, and found a wide open patch of undeveloped land that seemed suitable.
This time, she didn't seem like she was going to tell him to stop and push him away, like the other time. He held onto her the entire time, even as he landed like it was as simple as taking a stroll, and stopping for some window shopping.
The area was largely empty, and there were only far off lights of nearby houses around them. They had it all to themselves, for better or worse. Gin wasn't sure which it was going to be and it was difficult to smear a smile over his face, like he so desperately wanted to.
"This good 'nuff?" he asked, still holding onto her a little tighter than necessary. Despite him looking and sounding calm, it didn't seem like he wanted to let go of her, either.
Rangiku didn't object. She held on as he picked her up. She clung to him as they landed, her eyes wet with tears. She resumed clinging to him and buried her head in his shoulder.
"This is fine" she hadn't even looked up. She just lost track of the sound of the city so it was good enough for her.
"You died on me" the words tore from her lips like a fresh wound. Bringing with it tears.
Gin held onto her and let her cry as much as she needed to. He didn't say a word. Not yet. There wasn't any sort of suitable response that he could come up with right away, other than a lame sounding, "Ahh, yes. That."
...it definitely wasn't a denial.
Gin ran one hand over the back of her head as she cried, smoothing her hair down, trying to comfort her. He didn't know what else to do for her.
There really wasn't. But she cried into his shoulder until she couldn't any more. There were sniffles and hiccups. And she felt ugly after it all but she didn't care too much.
He was doing the right things. She just needed him to be here for her. His hand on her hair was calming and comforting. She heaved a heavy sigh. "You warned me I wouldn't like this, this was what you warned me about right?"
She didn't let go of him. She didn't want to. Not for awhile. He was trapped for the time being. "Oh Gin." She sighed softly. "Why'd you have to go and leave me again?" She was pouting, her eyes filed with sorrow.
She would never be ugly in his eyes. Even if he hated seeing or hearing her crying more than anything else.
"...I told you, you wouldn't like the end of it. Well? If I guessed right, and I think I did...." Gin paused there, because he could tell that creepy kid had some new determination again and was powerful enough to finally do what he couldn't do, himself. "...it wasn't the end for you. And, Rangiku?" His lips twisted into a small, wistful smile, as he moved his hand so he could brush away any traces of her tears with a fingertip. "I left ya behind for good, back when I told you that I was sorry and went with Aizen an' Tosen to Hueco Mundo."
He hated having to point that out, but it was the truth. That had been his official 'no turning back' point in his own personal plans, and it was a case of either try and succeed, or die trying.
"You were right you know. I hate this. I hate this dream. I hate that ending. It's not fair." She pouted at him. Then sighed softly as he brushed her tears away. "I know... but... I always hoped you know? I hoped you'd come back to me." A sad admission as she looked up at him.
"Then you died with my tears on your face. That was not how I dreamed id get to see you again." Her voice was soft and shook with emotion. Rangiku was a mess. Shed never known loss like this before. And even though it was a dream she felt it true.
"But right now. In this moment. You're here."
"You were angry with me and ya kinda got in the way," he said with a sigh. "Ya know what a pain in the ass it is, to haveta fake killin' you? I was runnin' outta time."
Because the all-consuming thought on his mind was when and where he was going to try to kill Aizen. Everyone else, over the course of many years going by, had become obstacles for him to have to remove, so that he was the only one who was going to kill him. But he had miscalculated. He never thought that Rangiku would show up, and he had let too much time pass, so that Aizen was too powerful to kill, even after ripping the hogyoku out of him.
For one brief shining moment, he felt relief that it was over. He could return, somehow, what Rangiku had taken from her, and his revenge was complete. That moment ended too soon, when the hogyoku kept him alive and then went right back into Aizen's chest again. The end came, shortly thereafter.
Sure, there was pain. One didn’t get slashed, a limb ripped off, stabbed right through the chest and thrown through a building, without pain. Despite that, all Gin could remember was hate. Nothing more than a deep, burning, all consuming, vicious hate as he stared back at his enemy and former mentor. It burned within him. It consumed him.
Even as he was dying and Rangiku was crying over him, he hated Aizen. He hated that it ended that way, and that the very thing he wanted to avenge - those who had hurt Rangiku and made her cry - was what happened anyway. She was crying. And the only peace he would have, was hoping that Ichigo Kurosaki would rip Aizen into pieces too.
"At least I apologized, before it was too late to do that," he told Rangiku, with a frown on his face. He never liked admitting he was wrong and one of his two regrets was that he hadn't been the one who fixed everything, the way he wanted to. The other was that he was the cause of Rangiku crying. "I failed. I'm sorry. If I had a hundred years each time to do it over again and again until I killed him, I'd do it all over and over again."
He truly hated Aizen that much. So much, that even in retrospect, he would have dropped everything all over again, for the opportunity to kill him.
She lifted a hand to his cheek, fingers brushing gently at his skin. It was in this moment she couldn't get enough of him under her fingers. The loss too keenly felt to deny herself that. He'd have to deal with her being all touchy.
Her fingers traced the frown, with one of her own on her lips. "You did. It didn't help but you did. I... i am glad you did... sorta anyways." Fresh tears spring to her eyes. The whole thing was heartbreaking.
"Oh Gin... you're too... thoughtful to try and make the world right for me but I.find myself hating you a bit for it to. You left me behind. Again. I loved you and each time someone said your name I hurt." Softly spoken. betrayal sucked.
"I... I know you would. You were always focused like that.. are." Her fingers drifted up into his hair, she was still trembling like a leaf though. She was both heartbroken and angry. But she was more heartbroken.
It was a good thing that he never minded her being touchy. Ever. He might not be a clingy sort of person, but Rangiku could put her hands anywhere she wanted to, whenever she wanted to.
Betrayal sucked, but Gin wasn't exactly ever thinking about that part of it, in his dreams. It was all how's and when's and where's in his mind, and in rare moments, he would think back on Rangiku. After all....
"...I did it all for you," he whispered, gaze focused on her lips, watching her speak or frown. "I couldn't tell you that, but...you probably figured it out, when you woke up out of the hakufuku I had cast on you, to hide your reiatsu from him. I couldn't let you get in the way."
As much as he loved Rangiku, her showing up to confront him had become another obstacle. If he removed her from the equation, she wouldn't get hurt. Aizen would have killed her in an instant, and Gin had been looking for an opportunity to make sure he was free of any of Aizen's zanpakuto's hypnosis tricks before he made any moves against him.
He knew the aftermath, but even then? He still wasn't thinking about how much it hurt Rangiku.
Rangiku was content to find a grip and just hold him for now. She wasn't usually this clingy. But right now she was miserable and all she wanted was him.
She sighed softly at his words. He watched her lips she watched his face. She loved him so much it hurt sometimes."I.. figured it out. It doesn't... make up for how much you hurt me doing it but ... I can't be too mad... it's the sweetest thing anyone's every done for me."
Lull him into thinking he was safe. Then she punched him right in the ribs. Sorry gin. It's sweet but it hurt too. "You don't know how much it hurt me, do you?" He was going to have an idea. Not that she freed herself from him, she clung even after she punched him.
"How do I go on knowing you died trying to do it for me?"
Gin had been about to agree that it didn't and then continue to maintain his stance that he would have done it all over again and had zero regrets, when her fist met his ribs. Instead, all he got out was a painful sounding grunt, followed by a wince that had him squinting again. He managed to pry one eye open to look at her, right after he tried to lean in the away direction, and found she had ahold of him. He wasn't going anywhere, without taking her with him.
"...I was hopin' ya would figure it out, but," he shook his head, the frown much more firmly etched into his face now, "but I wasn't sure. I had to try. He hurt you, so I was gonna kill him. Simple as that."
Or at least it was that simple, to him. Gin took the do or die aspect of doing things to the extreme.
Rangiku could be sneaky too you know, gin. She was holding fast to him. She might understand but doesn't mean she liked it any.
She smiled softly at him and leaned up to kiss him. "And to be honest I love you more for the fact you were willing to.go to such lengths to avenge me. But it hurt. A lot. Not knowing."
She looked up at him, her eyes soft and loving. "You could have said something to me at some point you know. Don't you think had I known I'd have wanted to.help? Hell you gave up this..." She gestured to herself, mind in the gutter "to avenge me.. I love you dearly. God do.I. but loving you and not being able to see you was the worst."
He was going to keep that in mind the next time he tried to cling onto her so she didn't wallop him, big time. She could still get rib punchy and she still managed to put some pow in the punches.
After the kiss, he relaxed and gazed back at her like everything else had ceased to exist around them. Including watching her hand as she gestured, because his mind was often guttered around her too. Of course, if he was thinking those sorts of thoughts, he wasn't paying attention to what he was saying.
"Nah, I wouldn't have told ya anyway. I had ta keep you safe, and there's tons of stuff I still won't tell you, although I love you more than anything. I don't regret any of it...even if I missed you, now an' then."
He meant that the whole thing took up all of his drive and focus, and playing the part of the subservient subordinate was time consuming. He thought about her a lot, when he was by himself. Every single time he was by himself, in fact. But, naturally, she is distracting him with her...everything...so it probably came across as 'oh, I thought about you sometimes.'
He got decked again. Poor ribs. "You don't get to make that choice gin. If I want to get into trouble, let me. Come save me but don't take away my right to choose that." She hissed softly. Clue stick. "I would never do that to you!"
"Its nice to know you thought of me sometimes. I thought of you always. I dreamed of you!" She said quietly. "You didn't miss me half as much as I.did you!!!" She was riled up. Way to.go.distracted gin. Way to go. "Id do anything for you. To help you.." rib poke.
That was going to leave a mark. He made a 'omf!' sound and winced again. There was nothing like getting hit with a clue stick until the lesson set in, but with him, it was probably going to take talking it out or dodging another punch if he could, to get to the bottom of things.
When she poked him in the ribs, he put both hands on her shoulders and leaned his body away to get some distance from her.
"If I think it's somethin' that can get you hurt, then I'm not tellin' you anything. I did pretty well for doin' it myself and I'm not tryin' to die like that again." He was also speaking quietly, but firmly. It was as riled up as he got, since he didn't yell very much at all. "You couldn't help me with that, anyway. I love ya enough to kill anyone that tries to hurt you. But ya gotta big mouth, Rangiku, and you don't think about what you're sayin' sometimes, before ya say it. You let your emotions run away with you, and yeah? I love that about ya too, but not when somethin' requires bein' quiet. Why the hell do ya think I would I go tellin' you what I was gonna do? Aizen would've found out and hypnotized our butts, then killed us dead. That’s while making it seem like we were wandering past ‘em for weeks, with no one else bein’ the wiser."
Gin frowned at that thought, eyes open, and keeping her at arm's length. He even shook his head like he wouldn’t have let that happen. It was his own personal vow that he had made, to carry out. Not Rangiku’s. Living that sort of life wouldn’t have made her happy.
Being with him would have made her happy. She wasn’t hard to please, not really anyways. She’d be ready to bash his head with the clue-stick again if need be, although him pushing her back away from him was enough to make her really mad. Mostly because right now she wanted nothing but to hold him.
Course she didn’t know what to say to that whole speech. She tore herself from his hands with a lot of effort on her part. And sat down, legs tucked up close to her chest, head falling to rest on knees. “I know when to shut up.” she said defiantly, with a little huff to indicate she was mad at him.
She even glowered. Cutely. But glowered nonetheless. Her lips twitching as she tried to find fault in his words. She couldn’t of course, that was pretty much how she was.
Gin's eyebrows drew together as he frowned and watched her, still standing. Both of his hands were hanging down at his sides. He let out a long, low exhale. That was likely his way of blowing off a little steam of his own, but his temper didn't show as much as her's did. Not by a long shot.
"You're bein' stubborn. Ya know Aizen wouldn't trust someone like you. He wanted someone dedicated an' observant an' willin' ta play along. And I set it up so that I was that someone." He tilted his head to one side, watching her. "I wasn't gonna let anything happen to ya, even if that meant we couldn't be together no more. What're ya gonna do here? Get mad at me 'cause I ain't tellin' you what I'm doing? Could it get me killed? Probably, if they can figure out how ta do it. Am I about ta quit?"
He smiled and shook his head. That was a big fat 'no'.
Not many people showed their tempers like Rangiku did. She pretty much was the definition of requiring anger management classes. Or ‘how not to cry in public’ or ‘how not to stab someone in the face for being a dick’ classes. That was Rangiku.
It was a truth. But a hard truth to swallow. She knew that was all it was. Didn;t mean she had to LIKE it. Nope nope. “No one trusts me with secrets and sneaky shit, I’m not dumb. I know that. Doesn’t mean I don’t like what happened and why any. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. I wanted the truth, I got it. Wasn’t what I wanted to hear. But doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it.” she said quietly.
“It’s not that you did it for me that bothers me. It’s the fact I got left behind again. Permanently. I get the reasons. I do. It’s a hard truth to accept but I do get it. I do understand. And here? Well I’m not as worried yer gonna just up and die on me. Worried? Of course I am. And I’d never ask you to quit. That’s unfair for me to ask of you.”
She huffed at him and unfolded her arms. “And I swear, if I can be of fucking help to you don’t just keep me in the dark. Don’t ignore me. Don’t walk away from me, because this is here, not there, and I’m trying here, to be helpful, useful, and make it so you just get it through your thick skull that I’m here for you, even if I want to throttle you off a cliff sometimes. You are frustrating.” she stared up at him.
Gin folded his arms but the gesture was a lot less huffy and a whole lot more calm and collected. The only thing that was different about him, was that the smile was gone. His face wasn't some mask he wore to placate or fool everyone around him.
"There's a reason no one trusts you with no secrets. I might be frustrating. Ya might wanna throttle me offa cliff. But you're a stubborn ass, Rangiku. Ya wear your heart on your sleeve too much, and I dinnit need Aizen manipulating me by usin' you as incentive ta keep me in line."
He shook his head again.
"Ya can't help me, because I won't let ya. This' something you can't ever help me with and, actually, I don't want your help at all with it. Leave it ta me and worry about protectin' yourself, like I know ya can. The less you know, the less you can yell about it, later on."
Just wait until he gave her the, nevermind, his mouth is opening and he's going to line all of his ducks up in a row. "Ya gotta stop trackin' me down too. Not tonight, since ya gotta reason 'cause of that dream? But later on, or if I'm doin' somethin' dangerous. It ain't safe and someday you're gonna end up pissin' me off. Don't mean I won't love you, since I do. But yeah, it'll still piss me off."
Rangiku just stared at him in utter shock. And hurt. The look of hurt that crossed her face was plain to see and easy to read. Her jaw clenched tightly, teeth all but grinding together. And with tears in the corners of her eyes she pushed to her feet. She didn’t move, not then, merely stared at him, a world of hurt on her face.
“I love you with all of my heart and soul, but? I don’t even know what to say to you right now. The last thing I want to do is piss you off, but… that’s not.. I don’t even… “ Then she moved, a little fast step wasn’t going to break her right now at least, and stopped in front of him again, close. Hand raised. She slapped him, as hard as she could manage. “That? That is for making me hate you just a little bit for being such a hurtful asshole.. You? Are more stubborn than I.”
“Way to be a dick, Gin.” she said softly. “You don’t control me. You don’t tell me I’m not allowed to do something because it’ll piss you off. God what am I supposed to do? Pretend I don’t worry? Pretend I don’t care what happens to you?” she laid a hand on his shoulder and pushed. “I’m not a slave, Gin, I don’t just blindly bow to your wishes, ignoring everything I feel just to make you happy about it all. As much as you hate to admit it, I’m as close to a girlfriend as you’ll admit., We don’t just blindly WAIT around, you know. We’re supposed to HELP Each OTHER. ” she was quiet, but in his space, and more than ready to tussle with him until they figured this out. Fuck it.
“You’re so good at hurting me.” her voice barely a whisper as she turned and tackled him. Girl was ready to fight this out, get this sorted out and fixed before she cried again.
"When'd I say that I was happy 'bout it," he had asked her in a low voice, the side of his face stinging. Then she had tackled him, so he was flat on his back. He glared for a moment at finding himself even in that sort of situation, then went to grab at her hands so she couldn't go hellcat on him. It was probably happening anyway, or she was going to pin him down, which was why he braced one of his feet down in the dirt, took hold of her arms, and tried to roll them both off to one side, so he could get away.
He wouldn't ever physically hurt Rangiku. In fact, she was the one person he would never, ever lay a finger on. In a way, he understood her fury at him and what he was saying, and expected a slap or two for it. He also realized, this was simply their way of getting things out in the open, because he wasn't a very open person. If he was a book, it would be very much closed, with the pages stuck together. Give it a few kicks and a throwing around, and it might open up...depending on the person who was kicking at it.
"Ya can't help me," he said, trying to get ahold of her wrists and pin her down for once, but she had the weight advantage and she was pretty damn stubborn and strong, in her own right. He began to let go, to get ready to put some distance between them both.
Rangiku was very much in hellcat mode. She had a fury that had been lit by his words and that wasn’t dying down so easily. Not this time. Even as he rolled them to the side, she latched on with one hand. Her grip tight and unwilling to let him get away so easily. Not here, not now. He didn’t get to skip this fight. “Never said you were happy about it.” her voice dusty and low.
Gin was a book that Rangiku would kick until he opened up to her. If only because he could only push her so far before she lost her shit on him. It wasn’t something she ever wanted to do but right now it seemed like the only option. And she embraced it because she needed to make her stand, and make him understand he could only push so hard before she cracked under the pressure. He needed to know. just how painful he could be, and how much she loved him anyways.
She didn’t let him get that distance. Fingers still gripping his arm, as she threw her weight into it, and wrapped a leg around him. Might as well tangle him up into a Gin-pretzel and get down and dirty until he got it through his thick skull. “only because you NEVER LET ME” she snarled in anger as she tried to grab his other wrist with her other hand.
"...ignorin' everything you feel ta make me happy about it all? As if,” he stated, before gritting his teeth together in what looked like a grin, but was really something borne more out of effort. Gin's free hand was trying to pry her fingers off his other wrist, and that made it easier to get ahold of him in both spots, not to mention he was squiggling around to get out from under her leg, and that sent them both rolling through the dirt.
"Let go've me, Rangiku," he said, and in his own ears, his voice sounded a lot more calm than he felt on the inside. That wasn't lasting too much longer though? When he next spoke, either because of their wrestling for dominance in the situation or because he wasn't feeling too incredibly calm anymore. Oddly enough, that laid back, Kansai dialect of his tied itself up as he gritted his teeth and had to pronunciate more to be understood. "I don't want you getting HURT because of something I decided to do. I was trying to protect you...whether ya wanted me to or not."
His attempts to pry her fingers off were making her have to fight that much harder to keep them on. She was exhausted from chasing him around the damn city, but her anger fueled her. Blonde hair collected dirt as she rolled with him, not letting him squirm like a little snake out of her grasp. Not tonight. Maybe had this happened on a night without that dream? She might have lost her grip and let him go.
Rangiku rattled off some annoyed phrase in Japanese, her words bitter in her own ears - something along the lines of stop being a damn stubborn fool - before she defied his words. Last time he told her to let go, she did. Not today. The fight for dominance wasn’t one she was willing to cow on right now. “It’s a sweet gesture, it really is, I appreciate it, I appreciate everything you did for me and do for me .” she said struggling against him, trying to hold him down. “I’m a big girl, Gin, I get hurt, I get hurt.” she said, more softly and calmly than she felt, although there was a sadness to it too. She didn’t seem to mind if she accidentally dug an elbow into his ribs during one of their little dirt-rolls.
There was some pretty colorful slang coming out of his mouth too, under his breath. His silvery hair was looking a lot dustier and more brown in spots, and he grunted as her elbow went right into his ribs, rolling back the other directly to make it stop. She wasn't letting go, no matter what he tried, and when he started to think about it - really think about it - he couldn't blame her, either.
He stopped rolling around and laid there, perfectly still, his blue eyes searching her face.
"Rangiku," he said, much more softly spoken again, "I don't think you get it. When someone hurts you, then it hurts me. You were the most important person to me, from the moment I found you. I don't want you to get hurt again."
Aizen had taken a little piece of her, and Gin remembered how - after she woke up from that - she had cried and cried. It wasn't a far stretch for him to want to get that piece back, and make that person hurt as much as they had hurt his Rangiku.
Rangiku was a little sweaty. Her blonde hair streaked with dirt and grime and tangled. Her skin streaked with mud and dirt, and her clothes torn a bit from the rolling around. She was sore already, from this whole thing and feeling heavy hearted. So when he stopped moving she was almost grateful.
Her face was a mixture of hurt, boiling anger, determination and a splash of love. It was hard for her to put that away even when she was mad at him. Stormy eyes focused on his as he searched her face and her heart skipped a beat when he spoke but she couldn’t help it as her lips parted and she said softly. “So how hurt do you feel knowing you hurt me?” The anger faded to leave only sadness as she asked that question. Because he needed to know he hurt her too. And he needed to face that fact even as she faced his.
One hand let him go, fingers reaching up to gently rest on his jaw. “Gin, oh Gin, you can’t protect me from everything.” she said softly. “I love you, and you need to know, you are the most important person to me too. Don’t you think I feel the same way you do? The exact same way?” her voice was quiet, barely a whisper as she looked down at him, fingers resting lightly on his face.
His own hair was sticking to his forehead a little bit, and it looked like they both needed a shower and a change of clothes. But her question about how hurt he would feel knowing that he was the one who had hurt her, made him pause. For a few intensely quiet moments, he even looked a little ashamed as he stared into her eyes and watched her moods shift like sands in a windstorm.
"I love you too, but...sometimes...I think that ya would've been better off if I left you alone," he admitted in a hushed voice, closing his eyes and feeling her hand there, against his face. He bowed his head down and let out a breath. It was like one of those breaths that he had been holding in for a very, very long time.
Rangiku wanted a hot bath, sake and cuddles. Between the dream and this, she was worn out and bone weary. But she didn’t blink. Didn’t avert her eyes from his. Merely held his gaze with her own. Her anger was spent on this moment and the fact he looked a little ashamed of himself made her feel a little more justified in losing her temper on him. Her lips pursed softly as he watched her, then spoke.
Then that hand on his cheek lifted and slapped him softly. it wasn’t hard, just enough to tell him his words were foolish ones. “Sometimes you can be an idiot. Maybe I would have. Maybe not. I accomplished so much because I met you. Because you saved me. I had pain, and have pain, sure. But tempering the betrayal, the loss, the pain - is love, and patience, and all the good times we did have together. And all the good times we’re going to have now.” she paused for a moment, looking down at him, watching him.
“You saved me. You did me a world of good even if I have things I’m mad about. But you know what, Gin Ichimaru, I showed you what love was, too. I influenced your life, too. Every time you hurt me, I gave you love anyways. Because I knew better. Even deep down, I knew that you weren’t doing it all to hurt me. That was just an unhappy side effect.” she laid a gentle kiss to his forehead. “And as angry as I get. As hurt as I feel. As sad as I am? I’d not change a single thing about then.” her words were whispered against his skin.
“I love you, and all I want from us now is to work as an us. I’ll live with the roommate label, and trying not to panic when you’re gone from bed when I wake up, but if and when you can be honest with me? Do so. And understand because you have to keep things to yourself, I’m going to get upset. I hate not knowing. I hate worrying that you’re going to get hurt. But I… wouldn’t change it for the world, because I fell in love with YOU. Sneaky, sly, snarky bastard that you are. But that’s who you are. I don’t ever want to force you to change - well not too much anyways.You are being held to your 100 yearish promise after all - but I love you for who you are, as a whole.” She smiled softly. Maybe he’d listen. Maybe he’d pull something from this.
Gin had blinked at the tiny slap and whispered 'ow' under his breath, since Rangiku had ever so lightly patted right where she had hauled off and slapped him earlier. Otherwise, he was silent as he listened to her and - about halfway through - he developed a sniffle. His gaze started to drift off to one side. He tried squinting. It made the burn worse. He tried rolling his eyes. That made them water even more. Finally he settled on a half-wince and a very bloodshot-eyed half-squint. If anyone ever asks? He will claim it is the dust and dirt that got in his eyes and up his nose.
As a whole, he didn't trust himself to say anything yet, either. If she was an outpouring of emotion, then he was the type who was left trying to soak it all in, and that was taking him longer to sort through. He usually only worried about how he felt about things after the fact, and often didn't take the feelings of others into account, at all.
He shook his head, closed his eyes, and pulled her against him so he could hold onto her. It was what he had wanted to do as he was dying, but with only one arm left and no strength to do it? All he could do was lay there, trapped with his own last thoughts in his head. He failed. He failed her. Maybe she would remember he said he was sorry before that point. Or that he cared about her more than anything else...and now he knew he ended up hurting her more than anyone else ever could have.
"..I love you too," he was saying in a raw whisper, burying his face down into her hair, against her neck. Sure it was dusty, but he didn't care. The dust was already getting in his eyes, anyway.
Rangiku knows it wasn’t the dust in his eyes. But she was a good girlfriend and wouldn’t mention it. But she’d save the memory because it meant she’d gotten into that thick head of his. And the fact her words hit home? Even if he’d never admit those were tears in his eyes? Was enough. She knew and that’s what mattered in the end. Not that she set out to make him cry. But he had made her cry often enough to deserve it once in awhile. And if that was what it took to get him thinking a smidge, then so be it.
She let him pull her against him, hands moving to wrap around him and hold him close to her, too. He’d died in her arms, with her tears on his face. This place gave them a chance that Aizen had stolen from them. And damn if she was going to let him forget that fact. She wondered, silently, what he’d thought of as her tears had hit his cheeks. As he lay there unable to do anything but wait and die. But she’d decided never to ask. She didn’t want to know. She loved him too much to truly want to know. He’d destroyed her - broke her into a million pieces - but here she was, pulling herself together.
She treasured this chance at something better. He might end up dead, anyways, which is why if she ever got a bad feeling, she’d track him down anyways. But she didn’t think so. She had faith things would turn out okay. And when he spoke in that raw whisper, she bit back her own sniffles, tears dripping from her eyes anyways, as she held him close to her, letting him bury his head in her hair, fingers moving to curl through his hair. She closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh, content and quiet. “We’ll make it work, Gin, I promise.” she whispered against his head as she tilted her head slightly.
It was a rare occurrence that Gin managed to squeeze out even one tear. He could count the amount of times he had done that since his earliest childhood memories. That meant Rangiku did manage to get through to him, which made this a major accomplishment. Even if he was already trying to rein it all in. After all, he told himself that he was alive and she was still stubbornly with him, not to mention that she was promising him it would work out.
One last sniffle and he inhaled deeply, his arms squeezing around her. A tilt of his own head and he tried to peek up at her. Fine, he peeked up, gave her a long and sweetly lingering kiss, and then looked right at her.
"Yeah, we will, as long as I stop bein' an ass," he was saying under his breath, so only she could hear. "I think we should probably go home. There's a hollow somewhere out here. It's still a small one but I think I might've chased it right outta the area." He looked up at her. "I'll try again tomorrow. Right now I want a shower and you and some sleep."
He thought for a moment before telling her, "Sorry I put you through so much. Maybe I should leave ya some notes or some pictures of what I'll be doin'. So ya don't worry."
Of course, he couldn't put all the things he was doing on there? But he could substitute other mundane things and leave them for her, instead. Once again? Things worked better, if done in a game format.
Rangiku was glad she managed to get through to him. She tried super hard to do it and he was as stubborn headed as she was sometimes. It made getting through to him akin to pulling teeth with tweezers. She offered up a soft smile as he sniffled. It was almost endearing.
She snuggled into his arms as he squeezed her. She smiled at his peeking up at her then her eyes drifted shut with the sweet lingering kiss. She knew things would be okay at that point. She left her eyes closed for a moment, inhaling the scent of him and the dirt and the lil bit of nature they’d found themselves in, before opening her eyes to look down at him.
A soft laugh. “Well, as much of an ass” she teased gently and kissed his cheek. “I’d be confused if you stopped it all together.” she didn’t mind - it was part of who he was - but she’d be happy if he was a little less assy. She nodded lightly as he spoke, going home sounded like a good idea. “I think I like that idea - shower, you, sleep. Shower and you?” she tilted her head a bit at him.
“Don’t apologize, Gin. After all what I’ve gone through has made me who I am today, hasn’t it?” she kissed him gently. “But thank you, for apologizing.” If he left her a game of clues on what he was doing, or whatever, she’d be kept busy until he got home. Or at least content enough to not hunt him down. “I’ll always worry but maybe I’d worry a smidge less.” she winked softly, she’d worry anyways. It was her nature. But still…
Rangiku pulled herself to her feet, then held her hand out to him, to pull him up. Taking the moment of course to pull him into her and steal another kiss. Sneaky Rangiku is sneaky.
She must be learning that from him.
Gin didn't mind at all. In fact, the moment their lips met, he gently cupped his hands on her face and poured his all into that kiss. It was to let her know that he did love her, and would have been the kiss he would have given Rangiku, if he had survived. He hadn't, so this was another instance of making up for lost time. At least he got the chance to do it, in one lifetime, even if it wasn't in the other.
It was then that it felt like the air was heavier, like an invisible weight slamming down on both of them. Gin froze in mid-kiss and peeked one eye open, knowing full well what it was that was doing that without any visual confirmation. It had to be the Hollow he had been after, and it was likely pissed at being chased around what it considered to be it's territory. At least he didn't have to go chasing it under the cover of darkness, tomorrow night.
Gin was the first one to break the kiss, with a softly sighed out, "...aww. Every time it seems like we're gonna get a romantic reunion moment, somethin' evil has ta go and ruin it."
Quoted for truth.
Coming up over a hillside behind him was a bone white creature, with large front arms like scythes and tinier little legs on a long body. It looked like a lobster on crack. In fact, Gin looked back over his shoulder while reaching for Shinso, and thought pretty much the same thing.
"I was thinkin' about taking ya out for a fancy dinner," was his lightly spoken comment, "but this ain't really what I had in mind."
Rangiku loved the feeling of their kiss - there was heart and soul and everything poured into it from both ends. And she knew it was special. She sighed happily into it, giving it her all, too. Until he opened an eye, she followed suit of course, she could feel it. It was long enough into training to know what that feeling was. Oh well. So much for things going so well.
“I know. Reality really loves throwing fun at us.” she grinned a bit and shrugged. “Oh well, we can have our romantic reunion back home afterwards.” because getting all roughed up and attacky was likely to rile her up in a different sort of way. There was something about fighting that just woke her back up.
She moved to stand next to him, fingers sliding to grab Haineko. Might as well give the girl a work out, right? So she’d stop complaining she was bored. Maybe. For about five minutes. Oh well. “I might actually find myself no longer liking lobster. Or enjoying them too much. Who knows.” she sighed a bit. “We’ll have to do a non-seafood fancy dinner, then, but this might be reality’s way of saying that fancy dinners just ain’t our kind of date, ya know?”
"Your kinda date's a sake bar with a neverending tab goin', and me payin' the bill," Gin told her with a smile. He had drawn out his own weapon, shrugging a little because he knew he could take care of this in an instant. It was, however, very good practice for Rangiku.
"You got it to talk at ya yet?" he asked and when the Hollow roared at them, Gin held up one hand in a classic 'stop' motion and flat out told it, "Hold those horses. I'm gonna let my secret girlfriend whup your ass into next week."
He could've sworn the roar afterward was of the 'bring it' variety, considering it threw up both of it's scythe claws like it was throwing gang signs. WUT UP. YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS? COME GIT IT YO.
"True fact but this is kind of a fun date too." She grinned at him. Then she pulled her hair out of her eyes to look at the Hollow. Hmph. Annoying. But hey all l that pent up rage could be focused.
"If by talk you mean get insulted then yes. Got called an old hag. " she grinned then looked at the Hollow. "Chill god. It ain't like you've got a place to be right?" Before looking back at gin.
"Oooh secret girlfriend. I love it." Before she looked back at the Hollow.
"Annoying aren't they?" Before she looked down at haineko in her hand."please cooperate yeah?"
"Yeah, but shhh, it's a secret. If everyone else finds out, they'll want me ta be their secret boyfriend and then it'll be a big ol' mess."
He rested one finger against his lips and shh'd very softly, at both her and the Hollow that was being so impatient. With that finger still held against his lips, he whispered to his (not so) secret (as he'd like it to be) girlfriend.
"If your sword's bein' fickle like you are, Rangiku, you give me a holler and I'll step in. Otherwise, ya look like you're ready to kick it's claws off." There was a pause of squinty-eyed contemplation. "Are those even claws or knifey things or wha?"
The Hollow waved them around as it started to skitter toward them, like a runaway train.
“I won’t tell a soul” she giggled softly, canting her head to look at her boyfriend with a loving smile. He was making her happier by the minute. Even if she had to deal with this pain in the ass trying to lobster claw his way into their little romantic moments. Jerk.
She laughed at his shushing as she curled her fingers tight around the hilt. “Worse comes to worse I’ll just rip it’s claw-things off and beat him with them. He’s ruining an evening that turned out really nice despite it’s awful start.” she grinned a bit then was gone, moving across the ground.
Rangiku was annoyed enough to just literally rip it’s claws off and beat it upside the head. She really didn;t trust Haineko yet. Sword was as fickle and hard headed as she was. Then she stopped and just looked at the Hollow. “If this works it’ll be over quickly, promise.” she grinned a bit, she’d been trying so hard and she was so tired right now, hoping that Haineko just wanted to get this over with too. A head tilt, lips parted: “Oooh Haineko, Growl” she teased her sword, might as well get a little pleady with it.
For the first time, Haineko was being cooperative with her today, well first time here cause obviously she gets to work in the dreams more often than not. She almost did a happy giddy dance as as she sent the ash to envelope the Hollow. She really didn’t want a drawn out day. She wanted to go home, shower, have make up sex with her boyfriend and sleep for like a day.
All of those things were pretty much on his agenda, too. Gin waited until he knew her sword was going to cooperate, then sheathed Shinso. He watched while slipping his hands up into the ends of his shirt sleeves, not getting in the way. If he had to, he would try to bind it in place, but it looked like Rangiku actually had it under control.
The Hollow put up a good fight, but despite it's menacing appearance, it hadn't yet fed on enough spirits or moved on to attacking friends and family yet. If it had, things would be a lot worse and it would be a lot meaner. When the ash enveloped it, the beast swiped ineffectually at the swirling cloud of gray sanding away at it's limbs, and even let out the mother of all curse words, which got a 'tsk' from the smirking peanut gallery, standing in the background.
“I hope ya dinnit kiss yo’ mama with that mouth,” Gin said in his lightest and airiest tone, and his smile turned into a grin when Haineko’s ash took off one of those claws.
The Hollow, which could still talk, had absolutely nothing nice to say about Shinigami. In fact, with it’s remaining arm, it made a rude gesture at Rangiku. How uncouth.
Rangiku was having fun directing the ash, as effective as it was. It was making her feel really good to be able to cut away at it and her sword ACTUALLY cooperate. It was a pretty powerful feeling to be useful and not be a hinderance right now. She was humming a little bit.
“God just die already. You’re really annoying, you know that?” she smiled sweetly. “Ooh hope you didn’t get any of that in yer mouth, but you probably did. Kinda hard to avoid breathing in some ash when yer all chatty huh?” innocent smile. “That really is gonna hurt a bit.”
Rude gestures. God that always gets so old.
Gin pursed his lips like 'ooo that's gonna be ouch' at the inside-out treatment. Even more so when the creature let out a piercing scream and was pretty much sandblasted to bits and pieces. He clapped slowly as those pieces hit the ground and started to disintegrate.
"Remind me never ta make you angry," Gin happily called out to Rangiku, because that was really quite bad ass. It was good to know that she could take care of herself, if worse came to worse. "Even if ya look sexy when you're angry."
Haineko was done being cooperative and that was okay, too. Since Rangiku was tired and wanted to go home. She recalled her happy little blade, and sheathed the good thing, promising to clean her up real nice when they got done with their fun. “You know that really didn’t look like a happy way to go.” she said sweetly.
She meandered back to Gin, looking more worn out than she had earlier. Hair was in more tangles, now. “How sexy do I look?” she asked, a devious smile curling her lips, pulling them up at the corners as she pushed her hair back over her shoulder. “Do tell.” she licked her lips slowly.
For his part, Gin was bruised on one side, still had a slap mark on his face, was dirty, tired, and some of his hair was sticking up funny. He still seemed like he was about to take a stroll through a flower garden on a summer's day.
"Damn sexy. I'm thinkin' that I need to get ya home, as soon as possible," he replied and, much like he had done when he grabbed Rangiku and took off with her to get her away from Aizen, he didn't even give her a chance to respond. He suddenly bolted toward her, grabbing her around the waist and holding her close to him, heading in the direction of home. It was easier on him than it would be for her to keep up, and he knew that she was probably feeling frayed around the edges and worn thin...more so after fighting a Hollow.
Rangiku had opened her mouth to say something then she was snagged and they were on the move. She wrapped her arms around him, and held fast as he took off towards home. She was rather okay with him doing that this time. She was ehxausted and frayed around the edges and sleepy. Oh and hungry.
“Mmm tis good to be home.” she kissed him lightly as they came to a stop. “Hey. I love you.” she grinned a bit.
It really was. The minute they were back on the ground again in the garden, he felt a great sense of relief. He was alive, Aizen was nowhere around...and if he was, then Gin hoped he didn't go down the same twisted, manipulative path as before. He didn't really want to go along for that ride all over again, since his life had enough excitement already.
He returned the kiss and opened his eyes, afterward. There wasn't much use in keeping the mask on, unless he had to fib to Rangiku and then his wearing it would probably be out of habit, and easy to tell he was fibbing. He could go back to a more natural habit of squinting at things, now and again. If not for the fact he had some excellent aim (maybe because of his squintiness), it was like he needed his eyes checked. Eeesh.
"I love you too, Rangiku," he told her, taking hold of her hands for a moment. "I could stay out here for a while with ya, if it was normal circumstances. But I think we're gonna need to sleep for the next...I dunno...week, maybe. Ya wanna get the shower ready and I'll grab us things ta eat and drink, then hop in with ya."
That seemed like a sound plan of attack, since it would require minimal shuffling around.
Who knows what the future holds, but in the end, that’s okay. Things are different enough here, that home feels great. Being able to call it home, also feels great. And now that Rangiku had an inkling of things, if Aizen showed up, she’d happily just kill him before it all started. Yeah she’s got issues now, sorry.