Aurora (cursedsleep) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-03-19 00:39:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, aurora [ouat], hua mulan |
Who: Aurora and Hua Mulan
What: An Awkward Moment
When: Backdated: Sunday, March 16th. Evening
Where: Aurora and Mulan's Respective Homes
Rating: PG
Status: Complete
Aurora was exhausted. She’d started sleepwalking again; it happening any time she dreamt about the red room, which had been a few times now. It was always the same dreams, the room was on fire and the first time she’d seen a man then a boy then she’d found out the boy’s name and upon waking up had informed Mary Margaret. She hadn’t told anyone about her sleepwalking yet except for Ruby, because she had been the one to find her in the hallway after she’d dreamt about Henry using a necklace to put out the fire in the room. She knew she should tell her parents, but she didn’t want to worry them. And she didn’t want to worry Mulan either, so she’d kept it to herself.
Then there was the fact that Mulan had said she loved her during their last date and Aurora had been dwelling on that ever since. She knew that she was attracted to Mulan and meeting and talking to Elsa had helped a little, knowing that there was someone else in a similar situation that she could talk to if she needed. Aurora’s brain felt so overwhelmed that she she’d gotten home from work by the end of the week, she’d intended to take a shower and just go to bed and sleep for the whole weekend, but then she’d thought about how sleeping could lead to sleepwalking and she’d decided to go on-line instead to keep herself awake.
While she was on-line, navigating from one site to another, simply doing whatever she could to stay awake, she stumbled upon a tumblr page of random reblogs, some of cats and some of various celebrities when suddenly she scrolled past a gif of two women kissing, which had reminded Aurora of the movie her and Mulan had watched on Valentine’s Day. This peaked Aurora’s curiosity and while she knew it probably wasn’t the best idea, considering the potential viruses she could get on her laptop, she typed ’Lesbian Porn’ into yahoo, choose videos then turned off the safe search. Tons of videos showed up and after staring, pink cheeked for a moment or two, she clicked on the first one.
Mulan felt a little like an idiot. She couldn't believe she'd let her feelings come out like that. The feelings had overwhelmed her and she'd just felt the words fall out of her mouth. Aurora's reaction had been something she should have expected, and it had hurt. But what else would have happened? Swelling music and confessions of love?
At least it had been better than 'lol I'm pregnant.'
But she couldn't ignore it and maybe it wasn' so bad. So she rang up Aurora and waited.
Aurora’s phone was on the couch next to her and it took her a moment before she realized that it was ringing. If it had been anyone else but Mulan she probably would have ignored it, but not wanting Mulan to think she was ignoring her, Aurora grabbed it without even thinking and swiped her finger across the screen to answer it just as she remembered what she was watching and in her panic instead of bringing the phone up to her ear as she slid her other finger along the touch pad of her laptop towards the stop button on the video, she left her hand, which was holding the phone, hovering somewhere between herself and the laptop so it was very likely that unless Mulan spontaneously went deaf in the last few seconds, she definitely heard the moaning coming from the laptop’s speakers.
“Aurora?” Mulan blinked, then looked at her phone. “Aurora are you okay? What was that? That sounded like…” Like what? A moan? And not a hurt moan. Her face went scarlet. “You aren’t… busy are you? I should let you get...back to it.”
Hearing Mulan’s voice coming from the phone, Aurora realized what the other woman must think, no actually she had no idea what Mulan must think, but she couldn’t let her hang up. “No!” She said as she finally brought the phone up to her ear, tilting her head to try and hold it against her shoulder so she could actually use her other hand to click on the stop button, which actually took more than one try. “No...I...I was just….” How did she tell the woman that she was attracted to that she had been watching porn? Her cheeks felt so hot that she was sure she was bright red and she was glad that Mulan couldn’t see her at that moment.
"You were just what?" Mulan had her eyes closed but that was only making her envision Aurora doing things to herself more, and try as she might she can't get the vision out of her head. "There's...nothing wrong with doing what you were doing. Its only..natural to do that. I'm sorry I interrupted."
She was digging herself in deeper.
“What?” It hadn’t dawned on her until just then that Mulan thought that she was the one who had been moaning. She thought that she had been masterbating. “No! No, I wasn’t doing that.” Aurora wasn’t sure she would ever be able to look at Mulan ever again. Her entire face was on fire and part of her wanted the floor to open up and swallow her. Where was a sinkhole when you needed one?
“Oh.” Mulan sank down into her couch, blushing furiously, and not sure what that sound had been now. And embarrassed at what she’d assumed. “”I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”
Aurora bit her bottom lip as she finally shut her laptop, unable to look at the still image from the video while listening to Mulan on the other end of the line, “I was….um….on the computer….” She hoped that that would explain everything so that she wouldn’t have to go into detail about what she had been doing.
“Why? I mean...why were you..watching that.” Mulan couldn’t say she’d never watched videos. Or gotten magazines. She’d gotten things she needed when she could, since she avoided entanglements.
She hadn’t thought she’d have to tell Mulan or anyone why she’d been watching the video, but now it seemed like she was going to have to say something, “I...well….I was curious.” Yeah, porn probably wasn’t the best place to look for sex types, but Aurora had been far too curious to think logically.
“Oh.” Mulan thought about how happy Aurora had seemed in the dreams, and squeezed her eyes shut to banish the image. “Did it do anything?” Thus far they’d just kissed, and Mulan really couldn’t tell if that’s all Aurora liked or if she was attracted in the same way. She’d had a friend who’d fallen for a straight girl, and they’d even been together a year. It hadn’t ended well.
“Um...I don’t….I hadn’t been watching it long.” Aurora had mostly thought about how in real life such long nails like the ones on the actresses would probably get in the way and could potentially cause some sort of injury and about how none of the times that she’d had sex had she ever made some of the noises they were so soon. It had all just seemed so unrealistic.
The irony is that made Aurora more experienced than Mulan, in general. She stopped herself when she started chewing on her nails. "I think it's important for you to know if a woman can turn you on. Otherwise what we're...we're not getting anywhere. I don't mean to pressure you into sex. It doesn't ever have to go there, if you don't want it." She winced, already regretting the words. She could love Aurora but she wasn't sure her body could survive proximity without sex.
The last thing Aurora wanted was for Mulan to think she was leading her on or anything, “I was curious because, when we’re together I want to….to touch you more and I….I do….I’m not leading you on.” Really, a sink hole right in her living room wouldn’t be that bad right now, “But all I could think of was that their nails were too long and they were making noises that I’ve never made and I started to wonder if I’d always been doing it wrong and….oh god, stop me.” Seriously she needed to shut up.
Mulan couldn't help the little relieved sound that escaped the back of her throat. Aurora's rambling was adorable and she couldn't help it. She laughed. "Most of them are faking it. I know a few websites where it's a lot more natural, and a lot sexier. Lucky for you I keep my nails short anyway. And... maybe you haven't been doing it wrong, you just weren't with the right person."
Aurora wasn’t sure what to say to that so she bit her bottom lip for a moment or two, her face finally felt like the blood was receding a little bit, “I’m like so mortified right now, but it’s just my luck that this would happen. I’m pretty sure the fates or whoever are totally against me.” Seriously, this was something that happened in a teen sex comedy; not in real life.
“I’d be upset too, in the same circumstances. It was a private moment and I interrupted. But I suppose it could have been worse?” She wondered if Aurora made noises, alone…
“Oh, no….no, I’m not upset.” She didn’t want Mulan to think that she was upset at her for calling when she did, “I was just surprised.” Well this would teach her to answer the phone if she was ever watching porn again. Not that she thought that was likely to happen again anytime soon.
“Experience isn’t the only way to know if you’ll like something,” Mulan pointed out. “I’m very, very certain I’m not at all attracted to men. The idea of kissing them does nothing for me, whereas kissing you, and the thought of...more...makes my heart quicken.”
Aurora’s heart did exactly what Mulan had just said her own did and she felt the butterflies in her stomach once again, “I….well, when I see you, I get butterflies in my stomach.” She was pretty sure that meant something. She didn’t think she’d get that feeling if she wasn’t attracted to Mulan.
Mulan licked her lips, unable to stop herself from grinning. “I am very glad to hear that. You have… no idea how glad. I fear that I’m not..enough.”
Aurora had felt the same way, to be honest, “I’ve felt the same way.” Aurora had never really had a problem with feeling inferior to someone else, but in this case it was more the fact that Mulan had known who she was for so long and this was all new to Aurora, “Maybe...would you want to go out again soon?”
“Can we?” She was careful not to sound too excited, but really, she was incredibly excited. Anything to see Aurora, anything to spend time with her got her excited.
Aurora smiled on her end, feeling a little less embarrassed about the whole porn thing, “Yeah. Yeah, we can.” She didn’t have anything specific in mind, but she was sure that they could think of something, “When is good for you?”
“Friday?” Fridays were good, she had nothing planned Saturday. Not that she planned anything on Friday. Mulan winced at the direction her thoughts were going in and bit back a certain three words before they could leave her tongue.
“Friday is good for me too.” Aurora was still smiling as she spoke, “You pick the place this time. I picked last time.” As awkward as it was going to be to see Mulan again after this incident, she knew that she couldn’t not see her. Maybe someday this would be one of those things they’d laugh about.