Boromir is a pervy hobbit fancier (bloodnotspent) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-03-13 21:03:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, boromir, eowyn, faramir, kate kane (batwoman), thor odinson, wade wilson (deadpool) |
What party are you in?
Who: Boromir, Faramir, Thor, Eowyn and Kate Kane. Guest starring Wade Wilson as Wade Wilson, in a dramatical reprisal of his role as Wade Wilson.
What: Paintball and beers after paint ball
When: Last week
Where: A paintball place
Status: complete
Rating: PG-13
How Faramir got himself talked into doing things like paintball, was often beyond his comprehension. At least it was, until he reminded himself that Boromir was the one doing the talking, and that usually resulted in Boromir doing what Boromir wanted to do. Such was the trials and tribulations of having a very bold and action-oriented older brother.
It beat staying home with Denethor, who was no doubt pouring over some new scrap of deteriorating parchment he had insured and flown in from overseas. It wasn’t like he was ever going to find out what it was their father was studying, or so Faramir had given up hope over that specific matter. And now he was standing there wearing paintball gear at the paintball park, mentally preparing himself for his brother to bellow at the rest of their group for not following orders.
Yay for weekends.
It could be worse, like the time that Boromir tried to play baseball in doors and broke one of their father’s prized crystal balls. The man had an obsession with crystal balls and snow globes that Boromir never understood. He’d made a hasty replica and it actually went unnoticed for a whole week.
But anyway, yay weekends! He was already in gear, and wondering if that Thor person was going to show. “Are you ready to win, Faramir?”
That it went unnoticed when Denethor had an eye for finer details was a feat unto itself. When he did notice, he blamed Faramir anyway for breaking it first, and then for constructing a reasonable facsimile...since he didn't think Boromir was capable of that sort of subterfuge. It's always the quiet ones. They're sneaky and can't be trusted. Yay family dysfunction, also.
"There is little doubt in my mind," Faramir had replied, with a smile. Yay weekends, indeed. "If you are leading, then a win is assured."
Even if they probably had a sign-onboard-for-paintball-hell mentality as far as groups went. Gods forbid that it was an actual 'workplace bonding' scenario, because the employees would probably quit their jobs, afterward.
Boromir heard Thor before he saw him. The man had a boisterous loud laugh. Boromir instantly disliked him. Any man who went through life like that was suspect.
“Good friends,” Thor exclaimed, picking them both up in a hug. “Are we ready to kicks some butt?”
“Yes. Just follow orders and we’ll do fine,” Boromir said, brushing himself off.
Thor? Just grinned.
Faramir made a 'oomph!' noise as the air left his freshly squished ribcage and blinked profusely, followed by a breath to inflate his lungs again and a smile that was readily given. He was used to being clobbered on the back and bear hugged by Boromir. The hug from this guy was like being hit by a wrecking ball. One that Faramir hoped didn't have a buck naked Miley Cyrus riding on it. That's simply not sexy. Not sexy to the point where, for Faramir, it was the rough equivalent of thinking about grandma naked to get rid of any sexy thoughts.
Furthermore, whereas his brother was suspicious, Faramir didn't get any bad vibes from Thor. His hunches in such a capacity were usually correct, so he didn't feel the need to be guarded or wary. The man seemed like an open book and was in good spirits, which was infectious.
"With luck and my brother's leadership abilities, we should have an advantage," he added, with a nod of his head in agreement. Since they hadn't been properly introduced, "I don't believe we've met before. I'm Faramir."
"Thor Odinson," he said, grasping Faramir's hand in a crushing grip. He clapped the man on the back, then turned to Boromir. "Just point me at the opposition and I will mow them down like flies."
Boromir was less certain, but he could respect a human brickhouse. Thor could keep the enemy busy while he flanked with two others. "Very well. Take those two." And he pointed at the most useless looking pair ever. "Lead the charge. Faramir and I will take her." And he pointed at what he assumed was a lesbian blonde wearing aviator sunglasses. "And flank."
Faramir had been about to comment that Thor's parents must have had a great appreciation for Norse Mythology. Before even the first word could fall off the tip of his tongue, his hand was squeezed like crazy and all that came out was a half-laugh, half-pained noise. He half wondered when Thor let go, if he was going to have accordian fingers like they did in old cartoons, but pushed that thought aside in favor of wondering how the hell he was going to aim and shoot.
He didn't find any fault with the current plan, and nodded to let everyone know he was good to go, "Ready when you are."
Thor nodded and got into position. “Stay behind me and move like I do and it will all go fine. Give me covering fire, and I will give the other squad the distraction they need.”
Boromir didn’t like having another leader type around, but that could prove useful. He’d already written that squad off, like a little checklist. “In a real battle I would assign that task to someone I trust not to die. In this battle, they’re cannon fodder.” He pulled his mask down. “Move!”
After giving his brother one of those 'be nice' stares, Faramir pulled his own mask down and was ready to roll. Hopefully this didn't turn into a one sided yelling spree, since his brother yelling at someone named Thor wasn't the best of ideas, and that guy had some hardcore kung fu grip going on.
He followed his brother and their teammate, ready to pew pew provide cover fire.
Boromir moved quickly for a man his size, taking cover behind a barricade as a barrage of pellets hit his position. He wished they had paint grenades, that would make this even more awesome.
Thor, meanwhile, was making a lot of noise and causing a ruckus at the other side of the arena. “ONE DOWN! HAH!”
Someone should really make paint grenades. Faramir would have agreed, if he wasn't diving for cover, managing to not get painted on. Blobs of brightly colored paint went SPLAT-A-SPLAT-SPLAT a few feet behind where he had been, only a scant few seconds before.
"He's certainly enjoying himself," he said under his breath as he kept on the move, so that Boromir could hear. He paused to fire off a few shots, saying in a teasing tone, "Thor may finish all of this on his own. He is named after a Norse god, after all."
“I will not let that man claim all the glory for himself,” Boromir groused. He signaled their teammate and the woman darted for another barricade. He popped up to give her covering fire, then shouted. “Faramir, go!”
Faramir didn't respond, since he didn't really have time to. It wasn't the time for that and he was not about to be the one who got a telling off first. Oh NO, he was going to leave THAT honor to someone else who doesn't know better!
Faramir ducked and moved as fast as he could, until he was in position. Then he returned the favor after giving Boromir a nod, so he could offer the cover fire and give his brother time to hustle, also.
And Boromir hustled, rolling forward and narrowly avoiding losing his head at the last second. He came up on the other side of their wirey lady (who was perfectly happy in this sandwich, mind you) and looked up at the score board. “We’ve each lost one. The objective is still that flag.”
“I’ve got it,” the woman said. “Trust me.”
Someone is oblivious to sandwiches and that someone is Faramir, since he's concentrating on the task at hand.
"I trust you," Faramir said, because the woman seemed quick, and because speaking up meant that his brother might not protest as much. He still looked over to Boromir to get the green light, so they could provide enough cover for her to go for it. At least, he was glancing at Boromir when he wasn't popping up and firing, with enough accuracy to go SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT on a moving target between barricades, across the way. By the time Faramir was ducked down again, there was a very loud 'dammit!' being squeaked by the person who was hit, which only accentuated Faramir's matter of fact announcement, "And now they have lost two."
“Quickly, while they’re distracted.” He patted the woman on the shoulder. “Go!” She darted up and ran forward, firing off a round that ended with someone cursing vividly on the other side.
She held up her fingers in the classic victory sign. Boromir made a pleased sound. But that’s when he heard it. The distant, haunting song.
“I used to wonder what friendship could be, until you shared it's magic with me.”
A man lept over the barricade, spraying paintballs blindly. He wore red and black spandex, and had a literal target painted on his back. Boromir pushed Faramir out of the way, rolling to the side as pellets tore up the ground where he’d been standing.
“Come back here you obscene maniac!” Thor lept over another barricade, taking a shot at Wade that missed by inches.
The blonde tracked the man as he darted around, and then she opened fire.
Wade spun out, shouting in slow motion, “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” He hit the ground and laid still.
Boromir bellowed. “WHAT THE FUCK.”
"...language?" Faramir reminded his brother, sigh-speaking the word, under his breath. He had been taking shots after he was pushed over, but the man in the red and black had been incredibly fast. Faramir had gotten a bullseye on the target that was so helpfully painted there, but it was only after the blonde woman had opened fire and the man had been on his way down onto the ground. Before Boromir could drop another f-bomb, he attempted a diversion by saying, "It looks like we were right to trust her. She's very impressive."
Boromir rounded on his brother and the woman, and resumed bellowing, “GET THAT FLAG!”
Thor held up the flag. “Do you mean this one my blustering friend?”
And there, Boromir dropped another F-bomb. The woman snorted, then started to laugh. “It’s like he thinks paintball is some life or death situation.”
“Indeed,” Thor said, eyeing the woman appreciatively.
Someone else was appreciative, although not in the same manner as Thor had going on, there. That someone was Faramir. In fact, he had his mouth opened to offer congratulations for the good shooting, but closed it when Boromir dropped another f-bomb of massive proportions. He knew too well that this was one of those challenging battle-type scenarios that Boromir loved so much, which automatically made it Very Serious Business (tm).
In an effort to divert attention from his older brother saying anything else that was colorful, Faramir smiled and said, "Nice job. It seemed to work out well. Didn't it, Boromir?"
It was his turn to pat a hand on his brother's shoulder, while looking hopeful that he concurred and was not being disagreeable. It was a coin toss some of the time, and there was no telling which side the coin would land on.
Boromir took a breath, and then nodded as he gathered his dignity. “It was very well fought, and we won with minimal losses, even if it did not go exactly according to plan.”
The blonde looked between the men, then positioned her paintball gun on her shoulders, arms dangling on either side of her head. “It was fun. You can lighten up, you sour puss.”
Before Boromir could blow his top (as Orange County has had enough ashen doom fallout from the last volcano recently, thank you very much), Faramir looked over at him and said, loud enough that everyone could hear him without yelling it, "Yes, it was fun. Sometimes it helps if one's plans aren't set in stone, but kept fluid and mutable."
Before anyone could protest, Faramir wisely reiterated, "It was a good game, nice and short. We won. That's certainly cause for celebration. Isn't it, Boromir?"
He hazarded a glance at the blonde woman to let her know she was messing with fire,and quickly decided by her stance that she wasn't afraid of getting burned. He stared hopefully at Boromir, instead. He kept right on staring, watching closely to see if there were any signs of veins starting to pop out on his brother's forehead.
There were exactly two veins, but they deflated suddenly as Thor clapped his hand on his back, then gathered all of them into a group hug. “Lets get a drink. I’ll buy!”
“I like you,” The blonde decided, even as she squirmed out of the hug.
“Barking up the wrong tree,” Boromir murmured in an aside to Thor.
Faramir had been smushed into that hug, the likes of which Boromir (or an angry bear freshly awoken from hibernation) could only WISH to achieve. When the blonde woman had squirmed free, it gave Faramir enough room to slip free also. He nodded in the affirmative that drinking sounded like a fine idea, but that was not all that was on his mind at the moment.
"...Boromir," Faramir was saying under his now regained breath, giving him an incredulous stare at the same time. "If she is or isn't, is none of our concern and shouldn't be judged. Besides that, no woman likes to be hit on, constantly."
And at that, Faramir also looked at Thor, because he had taken his measure of that man as well, and good guy: brave, but a brazen flirt had popped up as the answer. He hadn't gotten much past the 'brave' mark with the blonde, but that also included her mouthing off to his temperamental brother. It was not that he advocated nor tolerated rudeness, either? He didn't. His brother was also his best friend on the planet, so affronts were duly noted by Faramir, and he would speak up if necessary. It was more that she at least had a measure of fortitude to stand up for herself, despite all of his blustering.
“Eowyn,” she said, holding out her hand, first to Thor, then to Faramir, then last to Boromir. The older man made note of the snub, one of his eyes twitching in agitation. He was ready to cut a bitch, verbally, and started to inhale.
All the air went out of his lungs when Thor clapped him on the back again. “Great! A drink it is to celebrate a successful battle!”
"Nice to meet you. I'm Faramir, and this is my brother, Boromir," was Faramir's more formal and polite introduction (lesbian or no!), as he shook Eowyn's hand in return. He tried to hide a wince at Boromir getting his spine unexpectedly rearranged like that. He was only partially successful at hiding it, and wasted no time resting one hand on his brother's shoulder to help steady him.
Before anyone else could get knocked into next week, Faramir asked, "If anyone knows of a place nearby, that's good enough. Otherwise, we'll need to know where we're going, so we can either meet there, or all go together."
“I know this burger place,” Eowyn said, eyeing Boromir as if challenging him to dine with the little people. “Well it’s more BBQ but they do this BBQ burger that’s almost as good as back home.” Her Houston accent was more noticeable as she relaxed. “It’s across the street.”
Thor looked like he wanted to pick them up and carry them across the street.
Boromir grit his teeth. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. “That sounds fine.”
Before Thor could do that, Faramir smiled and held up one hand in one of those 'halt' crosswalk gestures, to let the big lug (bigger lug than his older brother at least!) know that he could make it across the street on his own volition. He wasn't sure if it would work, since Thor seemed the sort that just barreled through things when he got it in mind. It was still worth a shot.
"Yes, that does sound fine. I am hungry," he said, ceasing with the halt hand and motioning for Eowyn to lead on. He was ready to give his brother an elbow ribbing, because Boromir looked so annoyed about the girl seeming as obstinate as he was. Instead, he leaned more toward Boromir and whispered like a sneaky troll, "I think you've met your match. She is not intimidated by the likes of you."
“No,” he said, then suddenly smiled brilliantly. Why, Eowyn was much like him. That made her perfect for her brother. Except the lesbian thing, but he could work with that. He clapped a hand on Faramir’s shoulder. “I’d say she fancies you already.”
Even if she and Thor were chatting as they headed across the street. Boromir would have to eliminate the competition.
Faramir actually stared at his brother like he had officially gone utterly insane. That’s of the light one's self on fire and screaming like a maniac while flinging themselves off a cliff variety. i.e. - Movie!Denethor version...which is even more off than movie!Faramir was. He knew that smile and it usually meant A.) something catastrophic was going to happen, or B.) Boromir had a plan and was about to follow through with it at a 50% chance of something catastrophic happening. Stopping that would be akin to trying to hold back a runaway freight train using only one’s own bare hands. Faramir was no superhero and recognized an exercise in futility when he saw one.
"Please, leave that woman alone," he implored, as clearly and loudly as one could whisper it without being overheard by others. "This is not yet another one of your attempted opportunities to set me up with someone, to draw attention off of yourself. She is not interested in anything more than eating, drinking, and she’s already talking to Thor. Try not to butt into that."
His words were likely falling on deaf ears. Faramir shook his head and started to cross the street, when there was no danger of being run over by any vehicles. Yes, he looked both ways. But if Boromir’s smile kept up like that, he might welcome a bus hitting him before he made it to the opposite side.
Boromir just grinned, already celebrating his triumph. He rubbed his hands together, then put his arm around Faramir and he guided him across the street. "Ah, dear brother. You don't know your allure. And even were she a lesbian, I'm sure one of you could have a sex change."
Yes. He said it. He went there. He really went there with a crass joke.
A very aghast Faramir was staring at his brother as they crossed, mouthing the word 'WUT' not once, but twice. It was certainly not a joking matter. Even if his mun is like LOL!ROFLSTOMP!MOTHAFUKKA! at this scene.
"Boromir, no," he insisted, or tried to. Once Boromir got like this, he knew all too well that trying to change his mind was a monumental task. Nonetheless, he attempted to apply reason to the situation, "If she prefers the company of women, that is something natural, not something that can be changed. And I am not getting a sex change. That doesn't even make sense. If she got one...what are you getting at? I hope this isn't another throwback to that time I mentioned kissing my fellow male students, while I was away at college. You promised you wouldn't tell about that. I was experimenting. People do that when they're younger. I told you, it would have done you good to explore your options as well. It was liberating, even if it wasn’t for me and I dated that women’s studies major for nine months."
As they neared the restaurant, Faramir eyed the door much like it was a gaping maw of doom, about to devour him whole.
'Boromir, no' is the subtitle of their childhood.
"I'm just saying, if she prefers women, I'm sure she'd love you as one." Okay so having Eowyn do a sex change wouldn't accomplish a thing. Boromir rubbed at his chin. "Tis unnatural, but it doesn't harm other people."
He could be pretty libertarian about some things.
"Tis not right to...and now you've got me saying 'tis' with you." Arm around him or not, he grabbed hold of the door to open it and go inside. By then, the brotherly debate had probably allowed both Thor and Eowyn to go in together. Faramir wasn't sure why he felt a little odd about that, but he was sure of why he felt odd about this conversation. "No one is getting a sex change. I like how I am and I'm quite comfortable with myself, thank you. I will not be changing to please a woman, who is free to enjoy the company of other women if she so chooses, because it's natural and normal. Please, leave it be? I do not need a date or a girlfriend. I am happy as I am."
"You need a girlfriend and that is that," Boromir said harshly, in his version of a loud whisper. "I will not have my brother alone in his prime years!" He let go and grumpily stormed to where the other two were already waiting.
"Is he always this loud?" The blonde asked, once Faramir was in earshot. "Or is this the thrill of victory?"
Thor leaned his elbows on the table as he regarded his new friends. He could sense some level of tension, and decided to alleviate it. "Ah, there's nothing wrong with celebrating a good time."
Alone in his what? Prime in the where? Faramir's eyes had that look to them, much like their father's had when he suspected someone of something and meant to stare-drill holes right through their skull if they went through with it. It was the 'do not dare!' stare, only of a milder variety than Denethor would have mustered. Of course, everyone and their eleventy billion year old grandmother knew that Boromir will dare whatever he damn well wants, when he damn well wants to, so it goes without further saying that Faramir didn't even get a chance to protest. At least not at this juncture! He was going to have to think quick in order to compensate, or eventually use the table top to rest his head down on, in utter defeat.
The whole way to where their teammates were, Faramir had quietly shadowed his brother's steps until he could sit down. He looked ready to clam up, until Eowyn and Thor had spoken. Then he had no choice but to speak. Further silence would have ruined the mood.
"No, there is nothing wrong with that," he readily agreed, casting a single wary glance over at Boromir to make sure all was well, “It was all in good fun."
To Eowyn, he simply looked apologetic. That was all he could do. It was almost like he was trying to silently convey that he knew something was coming that she should be wary of. There was simply no telling what Boromir was going to do, once he set his mind onto something. Some of those plans were unpredictable, but that’s probably why he was recognized for being so naturally adept at military and political professions.
Eowyn glanced at Faramir and gave him a soft smile, like she could understand a BOISTROUS AND LOUD older brother. And how annoying they could be. Though Thor reminded her more of Eomer than Boromir did, all three did share some similarities. She could imagine the three of them yelling at the tv watching the super bowl.
Of course she’d be yelling right along with them. Ahem.
Boromir leaned back and steepled his fingers together. “Indeed, all in good fun. Why don’t make make this a weekly thing.” He glanced at Faramir and grinned.
He had smiled back at her, just as it registered what his brother was doing. Then he wasn't smiling so much. Rather, he directed his attention exclusively onto Boromir, and gave him a look like he had could list about twenty miscalculations with the attempted subtlety.
He instead, pointed out one, "But that might interfere with your campaign, when it gets down to election crunch time. It's much like finals week. You know our schedules won't allow for something so permanent, don't you?" He smiled at Thor and Eowyn, being sure to note, "He is running for public office. He's very motivated. And in case either of you know of any such occasions? He's available for any social functions. Please, be sure to give him an invite. He particularly likes sophisticated things, like operas, chamber music, and non-fiction book readings."
Faramir GRINNED back at Boromir, like it was his move next.
“And paintball,” Eowyn noted. “What party are you in?”
Thor smacked his hand on the table. “Now now. No politics. We would all likely end up at each others’ throats and that is not conductive to a friendship.”
“Well, there are certain beliefs that would make a friendship impossible,” Eowyn pointed out, still staring at Boromir.
Boromir rolled his eyes, then folded his arms. “What one does in the privacy of their own home is their own business. “
“Friends.” Thor said, warning in his tone. While there were a few things that made him go ‘nope’ too, he wasn’t in the mood for it. Drinks first.
"Thor is right. Talk of politics can make for swift enemies, as quickly as it can form a bond between future friends. It's a topic better left for another time," suggested Faramir, looking between Boromir and Eowyn. "At the very least, a drink or two might keep people in a better mood. One where political comments aren't causing hard feelings, or where things which are said can be more easily shrugged off or laughed at."
He looked around for his menu, picked it up, and began studying it like it was something worthy of deep and profound contemplation. He was expecting a confrontation, to whatever degree. Boromir was set in his ways and Eowyn seemed to be a determined sort, so that would either result in getting along fantastically (finally, his brother might go on a date!) or end in tragedy (because they’re going to kill one another).
“I’ll pay,” Thor offered, before anyone else got a chance. He had money, he might as well spend it. Hell, he’d buy everyone in here a drink. In fact, he stood up and said. “One drink per customer, on me!”
Boromir stared at him, once again sucking on that figurative lemon, then shrugged a shoulder, took a breath, counted backwards from a thousand, and said. “That’s very friendly of you.”
The big blonde teddy bear grinned. “What else should I spend my money on if not to make people happy?”
“He’s got you there.” Eowyn smirked at boromir, her blue eyes glittering with mischief.
Yes, indeed, Thor was definitely a good guy, and Faramir was smiling despite the 1001 things that could go wrong, or have yet to go wrong, for that matter.
"It is quite friendly and appreciated," Faramir was saying, and - noticing the mischievous look in Eowyn's eyes - he took it as flirting aimed at Boromir. Which is why he gave his brother a discreet but almost shit-eating grin, to let his big bro know that he had miscalculated, big time. It was about time too, because Eowyn was beautiful, so he thought they would make a fantastic match. Of course, that thought also made him feel a strange flutter in his chest and a fleeting sinking feeling in his stomach, which his mind couldn't find any rational reason for, either. Wait until you dream up those tidbits o' informations, sir. Just you wait.
"I suppose that I should order beer and not coffee," Faramir asked Thor, just to be perfectly clear that it wasn't the time for a fifty-shot mocha served in a bucket. Followed by residual twitching and not sleeping for a week and a half. In other words, to Faramir, that sounded like bliss. More time for reading!
After calling out what he'd be having, with a 'please' tacked on, Faramir turned his attention to Eowyn. It was all in the ongoing attempt to get his brother a date, so he would stop pestering about it.
"You seem very good at paintball," he noted, trying to strike up some conversation before anything got a chance to turn sour. "What other pastimes do you have, Eowyn? If you don't mind my asking."
It wasn't right to ask about what someone did for a living, directly. If they were unemployed, it was like kicking someone when they were down, and so he left it open for her to mention, without his prying.
"I'm going to UCI right now," She said, taking her beer as soon as it arrived. "Going for a bachelors in business studies. In my free time I split between NOW and Emily's List. And occasionally the local ren fair." She grinned. "I like swords."
Boromir, if it was possible, both beamed and looked like he was still swallowing that lemon. See? She's perfect for you.
Faramir missed his brother's schizophrenic expression, because he considered it a good thing that Boromir had an opposing point of view to keep him from veering too far off course into conservative land. Furthermore? If anyone was going to go brandishing a sword, it was Boromir. In fact, he glanced over at his brother with a delighted expression of, Oh, she's perfect for you!
"I've made yearly contributions to both of those organizations before," he said. "Both are very important and worthy causes. That's a very good school, too. What do you plan to do with your business degree when it's finished?"
“Really? With your brother a right wing sourpuss?” She leaned towards Faramir, like he was suddenly a lot more interesting than he was before. “Probably help my brother out with the ranch. I don’t know. I might change my major if I don’t like it. I started… late.”
“They’re good organizations,” Thor agreed, distracted by a fangirl wanting him to sign something. The woman flashed her breasts, and he scribbled along the left one.
Faramir eyedarted at the right-wing accusation, wondering how close Boromir was to going boom. Not wanting to fan the fire and because he loved his brother too much to betray him, he wisely didn't comment on that. He noted the leaning in, but wires crossed, and he thought it was good that she seemed interested in the conversation, itself.
"Indeed, they are good," he agreed, trying not to stare at the boob flashing fangirl. Which was hilarious considering the fact he kept right on talking despite boobs were all hi. "There's also no timeline on trying to better one's self. Nothing is set in stone. I'm a teacher, of the community college variety. Students are constantly changing their minds on what they want their major to be. It...evolves."
Thor patted one of the boobs like ‘good girl’ and waved the girl off. He shook his head. “I’m surprised I was recognized here.” He chuckled. “Sorry about that.”
“I’ve seen better,” Eowyn quipped. “And I know. I would have gone sooner but..” She shrugged a shoulder. “Personal stuff.” She eyed them all as if daring anyone to pry.
Boromir looked like he was going to but he choked on the ‘I’ve seen better’ while Thor threw his head back and guffawed.
Faramir covered his eyes with one hand and shook his head slowly, laughing a little bit.
"I meant, they were good organizations," he finally managed to get out, when he felt like he wasn't dying inside of embarrassment. "Your timing is impeccable." He paused to drink some beer, eyeing her back like he wasn't asking. Not out loud, at least. And when it seemed like it might be a difficult topic, he thought better of it and applied some tact, as well as some diversion.
"Speaking of timing? I'm certain you'll figure out what direction you want to take, when the time is right. You also mentioned swords and ren fairs. I'm afraid I've never been or held a sword, other than the play variety when I was much, much younger. Boromir was very good at sword battles, when we were children. I was constantly being bested, even if they were of the nerf variety. Isn't that right, Boromir?"
He looked over as though Boromir could jump into the conversation and that was the way in which Faramir could lure him in. They could find things in common, bicker about politics, and his brother wouldn’t choke on his food or drink if he was talking. All would be right with the world.
“They’re fun. No one expects a girl to come at them like a devil,” Eowyn bragged. Her eyes looked fiercely at the men, as though she expected some push back. But Thor was just grinning at her like that was the best thing ever.
“You were quite skilled with the nerf bow,” Boromir reminded him, not about to be outdone in this game of trying to impress Eowyn.
"I wasn't bad at it," Faramir admitted, with some reluctance. He could see that this would need some readjusting, although by the looks of it, Thor was going to make a move before Boromir was. That was problematic. "But it was only a passing phase. Boromir was much the same, in that it looked like he was possessed while knocking over foes and furnishings, alike. It must be very cathartic? Not to mention, ultimately very surprising for those who do not believe that women can be as ferocious or determined as men can be."
“My brother and I used to play war in the stables. Spooked the horses a couple of times, got a good knocking in the head because of it. Worth it.” The young tomboy shone out a little bit, before fading back into the past.
Thor laughed. “I’m reminded of times with my own siblings. My brother’s plans and my sister keeping the peace.”
"And so it seems we all have tightly knit, if not somewhat destructive, family ties," Faramir said with a laugh. He liked that Eowyn had a little tomboy and that Thor laughed so readily, so the company was good and he was at ease. Even if Boromir was brooding. It was probably because his plans had gone awry, although Faramir wasn't sure about that. "I think all children have played war, and most family has at least one peacekeeper. But few can say they've been knocked in the head by a horse. I know that I can't. That had to hurt, even if you think it was worthwhile."
Faramir also wondered what it was that was so personal and that Eowyn had eyed them about, earlier. He was curious, but not enough to ask, even then. If he could find a way to speak to her in a less rowdy setting, or at least a setting where girls weren't asking Thor to sign their breasts, then maybe he could learn what it was. He turned his attention from Eowyn to Thor, since constantly smothering her with his game of cat and mouse with his older brother wasn't the best of ideas.
"And so it seems you have a larger family," he told Thor, "since Eowyn mentioned only one brother and no sister. That's only a guess on my part, so I hope she doesn't take offense." He looked over at her for a moment, smiling, to let her know that any offense wasn't intended. Then his attention was back on Thor, because, of all things, Faramir couldn't imagine if there was a sister fitted into the mix, under Denethor’s roof. Things might have turned out catastrophically worse, and that wasn’t including Denethor commenting on what teenage girls might wear and deeming it unsuitable. Nevertheless? "I wonder if your family home suffered the same destructive fate ours did."
“Ah yes, though the sister is a complicated matter.” And he hadn’t been happy about his father’s meddling in convincing her to go away. He still wasn’t. “Often. Frequently. A week didn’t go by without something needing repair or replacement. It was glorious!”
Boromir wondered if their fathers were as ...complicated as his. He turned to Eowyn. “Family often is complicated. We often had to step on tiptoes around him. What about yours?”
“My parents died when I was a kid,” Eowyn said, bluntly, and knocked back the rest of her drink.
Oh, his smile had turned into a grin at Thor saying that, because - in it's own way - it was glorious! At least when they got away with it or Faramir didn't get blamed for it, entirely. But then came the sort of conversational awkwardness during a 'getting to know you' situation, that Faramir had been trying to avoid. It dredged up his own mother dying and caused him to hide a wince. He was good at hiding winces. One doesn't live that long around Denethor, without learning to hide them or having thick skin when it comes to emotionally degrading comments.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he offered, and the words themselves sounded lame to his own ears, even if he meant it from experience. And even if they had one parent left to them, often times it was like Faramir had zero parents left.
Regardless, Faramir wasn't offering up that experience as something to talk about, because that was like picking at an old wound just to watch it bleed again. It was his turn to look at Boromir in that way like they were still young, he had broke something around the house, and please for the love of all that was good and holy? The stare plainly said: HELP ME FIX THIS, BECAUSE YOU BROKE IT FIRST. Y U DO THAT, MOST LOVED BROTHER WHO HAPPENS TO ALSO BE AN ASSHAT BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY? "That must have been very difficult for you.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Boromir said, his expression grim. It was the kind of grim that told a casual observer he understood that pain.
Wyn waved it off. “It was, but I’m over it now. Why look to the past when you can look forward. I was four or five, so it’s not like I remember them much.” And she had anger issues with daddy for it but shhh don’t talk about that.
The conversation was getting heavy, and it wasn’t like Thor didn’t have his own parents. His mother was around (and what a wonderful woman Frigga is. Just don’t mess with her. Ever.) and his father is his father who doesn’t approve of Thor treating life lightly, but oh well.
“More beer,” he decided.
"Yes. That is true. And more beer is a wise idea," Faramir said in a hushed voice, because that hit very close to home. He was around the same age when his mother died, and could understand that pain all too well. As for Denethor? It was like not having him there at all, since the only time he really ever took notice, was to ridicule or make other negative commentary. He was grim faced also, seemed lost in his own thoughts for the meantime, and those thoughts had taken him to a place that was thousands of miles away from where he was physically sitting.
With an almost silent sigh, he snapped himself out of it, finally, and put a smile on his face, to try to make things light again. Not only for himself, but also for his brother and for Eowyn, who had gone through similar circumstances. Might as well turn the topic onto another matter of curiosity. This was no way to behave among potential new friends.
"Is anyone else on the local social network? The valar net, I believe." He drew in a deep breath to steady his inner self a little bit more. "I believe some are treating it like a dream diary. It's fascinating to read along with."
A pretty redhead walked in, and Thor's head turned as the woman walked up to the counter. She was wearing tight, black pants, and a shirt that sunk low on her neck. Her eye makeup leaned towards dark, and she had red, red lips.
Eowyn glanced at Thor, then put a hand on his arm when it looked like he was going to get up to talk to the woman. "Lesbian."
"What? Really?"
Kate turned around after ordering, and winked at Eowyn.
"Positive," Eowyn said, as the woman departed with her to-go order.
Boromir just watched the exchange, mouth agape. After a moment, he closed his mouth. Right. “They’re all mad.” He darted his eyes.
Alas! So much for trying to turn the tide of conversation. Eowyn's radar seemed in order, or she had personal knowledge, so Faramir chalked that up to 'not Boromir's type' since Boromir would never shut up about it. She might be a lesbian and his brother might have been right all along! Faramir blinked once, twice, and eyedarted as well. Because no way was he about to have a sex change like his brother had suggested. He had even caught the eyedart from Boromir and looked suitably sheepish for a split second about their demented chess game...that they really needed to stop playing at some point or other. That point, Faramir had determined, was when Boromir met the right person and did what Denethor wanted him to do, which consisted of (as far as Faramir could determine) having a trophy wife.
Which was probably ok, since Boromir liked trophies and Eowyn was free to enjoy a life of pursuing whatever gender she wished to, for that matter, which is fine. Since that is not his place to think about it, anyway, nor his business for that matter, and this is the reason Faramir's friend zone exists. Partially because of Boromir’s attempts to get him to settle down, and partially because it acted as a buffer to save one from heartbreak or the wrong person getting too close.
Faramir put a smile on his face and kicked a foot at Boromir under the table, so that the toe of his boot met his brother's shin. It wasn't enough to hurt, but it was just enough to get his attention and remind him to try to be nice. Probably with a heavy emphasis on the ‘try’ part.
At this rate Boromir would never end up with a woman just to spite both his father and his brother! He was seriously considering the idea. Yes. Spite them. Perfect!
“Well. Good on her then,” Thor said, eyes following the woman as she walked out of the cafe.
That was not going to happen. In fact, Faramir looked over at his brother like 'maybe next time' and then nodded in agreement with Thor. Yes, indeed. Good on her. For living the sort of lifestyle that she chose to live, just as Eowyn and everyone else was free to pursue, and Thor looking like he wished he could change her mind.
“Indeed. Good for her.” Not wanting to get knocked through the nearest wall, Faramir chose to drink his beer and not point out the fact that minds couldn't and shouldn't be changed in that capacity.
Thor had no intention on changing her mind and the expression had been meant good naturedly. He grinned. “Your radar is better than mine, Miss Eowyn.”
She shrugged her left shoulder. “It’s not a big deal. I’ve experimented a little bit, that’s all.”
“Just experiment?” Boromir asked, as if sensing the opportunity.
Oh good. Because it looked for a moment like Thor was having sexy girl on girl action thoughts for a second there. At least it had been good naturedly and not lascivious.
On to other things. Not a big deal? Boromir seizing on an opportunity? If there was one train of thought barreling at full speed through Faramir's brain, it would be this: Oh god no oh god no, please stop Boromir, do not do it, don't go there...not on day one, please, will some higher power have some conversational mercy on our souls?
"Details don't need to be shared on this day," Faramir attempted to gently intervene. "Though the candor thus far is appreciated."
“Are you assuming that I’m a lesbian? Just because of what? That I like paintball? You’re a gigantic, insufferable ass!” She picked up her can like she was going to throw it at his head, but instead finished her drink. “And I’ll bet you think that that’s some kind of insult. Why would I be insulted by that?”
Thor just kept his mouth shut, though he looked impressed.
Faramir opened his mouth, thought better of it, and sat quietly. Quietly, with one hand pressed against his face. Eowyn seemed perfectly capable of defending herself, and likely didn't need or want any interventions from outside parties...or so he supposed. The same went for Boromir on any given day, although Faramir's fingers did part enough that he could sneak a peek at his brother. The peek plainly said 'must you?' without words, even if Faramir knew that Boromir was going to be all MUST all over everything's face.
At some point, he knew he was going to have to apologize, since Boromir was very likely not going to. He was simply steeling himself for that moment and getting mentally prepared to do so when the time was right.
Boromir was counting back from a thousand. His face was red, his eyes beady, and really, he could explode like a volcano at any moment. Eowyn lifted her hand to bring the waiter over. “Another round of drinks for the table. I’ll pay.”
That seemed to deflate Boro before he could explode, and he literally deflated with a sigh into his chair. No apologies but no comment.
"I'll get the next round," Faramir offered, as a way to make amends. "Either now, or later. If there is a later."
As it stands, they were all going to need rides home if they kept sucking down rounds of drinks. Faramir had been hitting that beer pretty hard, because there was tension, and he didn't have his customary comfort coffee within reach. Happily, though, his own hand had left his face and Boromir looked like he wasn't about to explode. Always a good thing. No one wants the boom. No one.
Boromir was still on his first beer, which was unusual, but he was so sourpussed from some of the conversations that he wanted to go home and hit the liquor cabinet.
“Lets make it a later,” Thor said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out his phone. “Miss Sirir, call the nearest designated driver business.” He looked so proud with his Miss Siri, that Eowyn had to cover her mouth to disguise her grin. She glanced at the brothers, eyes gleaming with mirth.
“That’s all right. I’ve had one drink, I can drive,” Boromir offered, with a long suffering sigh.
"I can wait it out until I'm sober, if I stop now," Faramir said, not being in any sort of rush, and really trying not to laugh out loud at the whole Miss Siri thing. Who does that? He glanced back at Eowyn, still trying to hold the laugh in, and then over at Boromir. After a few moments of quiet contemplation, he added, "Or you can drop me off at home. If it's not too far out of your way."
“I’ll do that,” Boromir said, nodding his head at his brother and their new sort-of-friends. “It’s no problem with me.”
“That’s very friendly of you,” Thor decided. He tilted his head thoughtfully, then smirked. “I wish to call shotgun.”
Boromir? Grinned.
Faramir's eyebrows raised like he wasn't sure what Boromir was grinning about, but he imagined it was nothing good. He knew that look from his earliest memories. It was never a good sign. It also might be because Eowyn might want a ride home too and then they were in the backseat together and...here is where Faramir gave his brother a look, one with heavy eyelids and an incredibly mild exasperated expression, like he should know better. Knowing better never stopped him anyway.
At this point it was only mere speculation. At least Eowyn was more or less like the prettier, more rational female version of his stubborn brother, despite the total bromance between them. However, Faramir didn't ask if Eowyn was going to need a ride, waiting to see if she would ask or not. No way was he going to back himself into a corner where Boromir could claim a small victory. That was why his expression changed from one of incredibly mild exasperation, to a knowing stare and a slight smile. He was betting that she very proudly would not do so, and there would go that plan (even if it was mere speculation), out the nearest window. Watchful waiting? Commence!
“Then I guess I should sit in the back then,” Eowyn said, counting the cans in front of her and deciding she didn’t want to risk getting pulled over. She could walk in a straight line like this, but legally, no.
Thor clapped her on the back. “Good! Let me pay and then we shall go!”
Boromir looked triumphant.
Faramir didn't look surprised. This wasn't any sort of finish line, so any looks of triumph should be held off until actual triumphs take place. That was because everyone starts outside in the friend zone, and only very few ever make it into the inner sanctum of his own self. They had to go through the 'judge of character' gauntlet, first. Many had tried and failed, which made it a fine safety precaution to have in place. Better safe, than sorry.
"Thank you, Thor, for paying for all of our drinks," Faramir said, because that was a kind thing to do. And to Boromir, he added a little too sweetly (which often meant that retaliation would come when least expected), "And thank you for giving us a ride, brother."
“Anytime!” Thor enjoyed making new friends, and these people seemed all to be very interesting, in different ways. He could respect each of them. And they knew how to have a good time. Just the way he liked it.
“Thanks,” Eowyn said, rising as well. But that was all that Boromir would get out of her.
He’d take it. As long as it helped his brother out, Boromir would take it. He got up, glad his car was as nice as it was. American, of course.